Monday, December 31, 2007



.. I'm gonna wallow DEEP into self-pity for everything that has happened!
.. I'm gonna go through each and everything that has hurt me especially in the past year!
.. I'm gonna let myself be mad at those I should've been mad ages ago!
.. I'm gonna list out all the useless things I've done!
.. I'm gonna let myself cry out all those tears I've tried to hide all this while!
.. then I'm gonna sleep off this fever I've been having the past few days!
.. and I'll wake up just to feel sorry for myself again, and as much as possible!
.. but just for today!


.. tomorrow is a new day!
.. tomorrow is a new month!
.. tomorrow is a new year!
.. and by tomorrow, I hope all of the above would leave me alone now so I'd be able to really take good care of all the good memories and special things that I once had, already and still have AND that I WILL have!

Its New Year's Eve everyone..

And a Happy New Year to all :)

Wednesday, December 26, 2007


"Ayu, jgn lupa tgk spice girls return ari ni, 7.30pm ntv7"

I got this sms from Ami in the wee hours of Monday but since Dgon was with me, it didn't register much with me, at first..

Then, when I got to school, Ami, my old and 'bestest' buddy, was online so we had a long talk about our lives and all that. with her, I always feel as if I'm 13 again. The giggling and whisperings don't make us look like 27-year-olds and I was reluctant to stop chatting with her at 5.30 but since I had promised to send Dgon along with her sister and brother to the bus station, I had to cut our 3-hour conversation short (short?).

Anyway, when I got back home, I realized I was about to iftar alone as my housemate was still at her hometown. I plonked myself in front of the tv after Maghrib prayers and begun to dig into my Zinger when I switched on the said program Ami had asked me to watch.

Since I was still quite engrossed in my burger, I didn't realize I was singing along with the Spice Girls hahah..

You see, on Monday I had written about my love for one of the first boy bands, BSB.. I guess I forgot to mention, I was also into girl power hehehe.. Those were the chart toppers during my schooling years and since I was still a teenager, of course I loved them and their bubblegum and candy cane tunes.

Spice Girls was actually Ami and Ezrin's fav group but somehow, they managed to rope me into the gazillion fans of Spice Girls. In fact, fyi, I have won Spice Girl contests 2 or 3 times. Mostly I won CDs. Once it was their Spice Up Your Life single and another time it was their full album (which I had sadly lost when I had moved from my old rented house to my current one). I also won their stickers and the so-called limited edition (It was ALSO sold in Sunshine.. duh!!! Limited edition la sangaaaaat!) Impulse body spray (2 cans, mind you!).

During this time, as president of the English Society, I was responsible in the Youth Quake (remember that paper from NST for teens?) subscription for the school, kununnye to help the students in their english. Well, we subscribed to Star or NST, compulsary for each class but which teenanger ACTUALLY reads those page to page? Okay², I actually read NST page to page at home, but that was the geek me! So, Youth Quake was our answer to that :) However, imagine my embarassment when almost the whole school, teachers included (we have a very small student body, around 600 students and 40 teachers only, if my mind serves me correctly!), noticed MY name in the Spice Girls contest results!!! Haha, my name is kinda unique so I can't pretend it was someone else AND I was the one responsible for the subscription. Oooohhh, sangat malu! A role model I turned out to be, huh hahaha..

Well, that was a 10-years-ago incident :) And I still smile when I remember how I avoided my teachers' (especially Mrs Phun, our society advisor AND my english teacher!) gaze for weeks!

And yes, I still find those old Spice Girls songs as one of my favourites.. proven when I could sing along to all songs (except their new single) in that show haha :)

So yeay! Go boy bands and girl power, huh!!! (Sheeshhh, now I'd rather be caught dead than admit THAT hahahahah..!)

Anyway, on a totally different note..

I got a Christmas present yesterday! Well, technically, its supposed to be my birthday (?) present.. a two-year-old birthday present hahah! Two years ago, my friend Long, wanted to give me a birthday present. He even told me he had bought this teddy bear for me but didn't now how to send it. I always told him it was ok, its the thought that counts but once in a while, he'd talk about the still-kept birthday present.

Last week, he told me his sister was in town so he'd give it to his sister. I had already forgotten about it and told him to forget it. Well, actually it was because I'm not really comfortable with people I don't know and I had NEVER talked to Long during my undergraduate years when we were still coursemates. He was in this group that I kinda avoided (not because they were bad or something, but mostly because I was a quiet and shy girl then <--okay, my new friends might NOT believe this hahah!) and towards our final year, they liked to tease me a bit with this guy in their group. So its only now that I sorta chat with him. But then, I still think I'd avoid meeting him (or the other guys in his group) coz somehow, with my old friends, I'm still a bit of the timid girl. Anyway, I also didn't want his sister to think that there was something going on between us (which Long told me she eventually did.. duh!!) so I didn't really want her to come here just to give me the gift.

Still, she came.. and I got my gift! A teddy bear which turned out to be a pretty light purple bracelet.. and I love it! Most of my new (READ: new=post-bachelors degree, old=pre-bachelors degree) friends know I love bracelets (thus resulting me getting thoughtful suprise gifts from them when its not my birthday like the one Remy gave me when he went for his second honeymoon -a bracelet I'm wearing right now!- and the silver princess-crown bracelet Ana gave me recently as well a this cute pink one given by Yun) but the old ones (except Dayah who always bought me bracelets whenever she went anywhere even during our undergraduate years) don't really know so I was kinda suprised.. but I love it! Mekasih Long :)

And ooohhh, forgot to tell you. I had also got a raya gift recently, from Farah. Heheh, she had gone to Padang Besar with her family recently and when she came back, she suprised me during my tuition class by giving me this three-chains-of-stone kinda bracelet. My students ooohh and aaahh at the shiny object since they were in class at that time.. and yes, I love this too! Thank you, Farah! :)

Mama said to me when I showed Farah's bracelet to her, "Suke beno your friends bagi gelang ye.."

And I told her, "Nak buat camne, my friends love me.. hahaha.." <--perasan gile!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Sedikit bosan..

Hmm.. nape la school kosong la plak arini? There's only me and Choong. Ooohh, the holiday blues makes things quiet around here.. Hmm..

Anyway, I recently checked my gmail account (which I really seldom check.. if the account could talk, I'm sure it'll tell me to make it feel a bit more useful than as the address for my PhD Comic feeds) and found an email from Aznor along with an attached MP3 file and lyrics. Feeling a bit confused, I scrolled down to read and smiled when I realized what it was.

A few weeks ago, I had gone blog-hopping (also an activity that I seldom do now especially during the, as Remy would put it, 'proses pemprofessoran') and had noticed these lyrics in her blog. Since the lyrics seemed so familiar, I had asked her about it and voila! Now I remember..

You see, me and Adi always laughed at Izati when she was obsessed with the Tomok-guy whom almost all adolescent girls wanted to marry light years ago. She pretended that she wasn't crazy bout him but her older sister and brother knew better and we would laugh at her whenever she tried her best not to look so excited whenever that Tomok-guy was on tv. However, her dear sister here is quite a hypocrite hahah..

And so, here I ashamedly admit that once upon a time ago in a far, far way land, I was crazy for the Backstreet Boys!

I must've bought all their albums (except their first, surprisingly!) right up until my final undergraduate year. The last album bought was Black & Blue or something to that effect.. and YES! I memorized ALL their songs heheh..

No wonder that song in Aznor blog seemed familiar heheh.. its one of the more memorable songs that I'm sure Un would also identify as she and Cik Wa were my allies in the BSB Mania (with Un being the leader heheh..)

And to Aznor: Thanx for reminding me how I was also a glaze-eyed I'll-support-you-to-the-end superfan of boy bands hehehe.. :p

How Did I Fall In Love With You

Remember when, we never needed each other
The best of friends like
Sister and Brother
We understood, we'd never be,

Those days are gone, and I want you so much
The night is long and I need your touch
Don't know what to say
I never meant to feel this way
Don't want to be
Alone tonight

What can I do, to make mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

I hear your voice
And I start to tremble
Brings back the child that, I resemble
I cannot pretend, that we can still be friends
Don't want to be,
Alone tonight

can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

Oh I want to say this right
And it has to be tonight
Just need you to know, oh yeah
I don't want to live this life
I don't want to say goodbye
With you I wanna spend
The rest of my life

What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this
did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
Everything's changed, we never knew
How did I fall, in love, with you?

Saturday, December 22, 2007

*Gasps* A milestone for Ayu

Call it boredom, call it growing up.. but today I just realized something BIG!

I mean.. HUGE!

I mean REALLY MASSIVE here!!

Today, I discovered that I won't die if I don't eat my chips with vinegar. In fact, it tastes quite good just on its own mm-mmm!

Gosh! I seriously didn't know that.. did you?

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Esok hari raye :)

Sheesshh.. if it wasn't for my class this afternoon, I'd be safely home right now. But as it is, I'm here in school with only the Iranians as company, while waiting for my class to start at 5.15pm. Lucky that I love that class of form 5 :) Besides, its not as if I have anything to look forward to anyway..

Met Dr Farhan otw up and he was suprised to see me still here.. I was itching to ask him the same thing hahah..

Right now, I'm looking at this plushie Izati bought for me, in the shape of a football. Yesterday abg Fadzil's came while I was cleaning up my cube and asked me, "Kenape Aman tak boleh tendang bola ni? Bola ni lembik sangat la.." Aiyaaaakkkk, its not for kicking la heheh.. Would have to be careful that Izati doesn't know about it, ngamuk la my lil' sis if she knows her present was about to be kicked around :D

God! I AM BORED!!! I wanted to talk about Sharil's yummy chocolate cake (that guy sure knows how to cook!) that he made for me again but right now I don't really have the mood for writing bout anything..


Raya blues, huh..

Well, have the best of raya for all of you.. till then, cheerio!!


For my cousin Nyah Zai: Bilenye tarikh tu? Bitau laaaaa.. leh wat pa pe ke.. *sambil² kutip berkat sepupu ku kawen duluuuuu :p*

Monday, December 17, 2007

Last Christmas

Hmm.. I'm here in this room listening to my favourite 'festival blues' song hahah.. I've been a great fan of this song eversince, what, I was 6? Huh, gile.. 21 tahun dah dengar lagu ni and still not tired of it, especially time² camni. Christmas je, mesti cari lagu ni heheh..

Bes²! I'm listening to this, and only this song from morning.. and I'm suspecting Choong ngan abg Fadzil dah menyampah asyik ulang lagu ni je heheh..

"My girl I thought you were, someone to rely on.. me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on lalalala.." Sape nak MP3, sile².. I'll be happy to send it to you guys heheh.. enjoy! (Again.. rasenye dah penah post entry pasal lagu ni last year and the year before hehehe..)

Last Christmas,
I gave you my heart
But the very next day,
You gave it away
This year,
to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas,
I gave you my heart
But the very next day,
You gave it away
This year,
to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye
Tell me baby do you recognise me?
Well it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me
(Happy Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I Love You" I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again

(CHORUS)(Oooh. Oooh Baby)

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice
My God I thought you were someone to rely on
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man undercover but you tore me apart
Oooh Oooh
Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
(Gave you my heart)
A man undercover but you tore me apart
Next yearI'll give it to someone,
I'll give it to someone specialspecialsomeonesomeone
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special
who'll give me something in return
I'll give it to someone
hold my heart and watch it burn
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special
I've got you here to stay
I can love you for a day
I thought you were someone special
gave you my heart
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone
last christmas I gave you my heart
you gave it away
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone

Saturday, December 08, 2007


Uhh.. ade sedikit perasaan keciwe! Hehehe.. adeh! Nak wat camne, takde rezeki.. rase padan muke pun ade hehehe..

A few days ago.. silap, a few weeks ago, Remy ade tanye pasal Prison Break episode yang latest. Sbnrnye, I didn't actually know if I had the latest ke tak, sbbnye, w/pun Lie dah bg episode² yang dia ade, lum tgk pun lagi huhu..

I AM a fan of Prison Break tapi tatau la nape kali ni cam liat skit nak tgk, sbb gang dah takde kot :( Tpnye, sibuk gak cari episode² baru kat sumer org and when I get it, dah content, tak tgk lagi pun takpe.. Ingt bebile leh wat marathon tgk sumer..

Anyway, aritu la, Lie amik my portable hardisk and save Prison Break 1~7 sekali ngan a few episodes of CSI (also my fav tv show!) and Criminal Mind (jugak adelah my favourite!) and Gossip Girl (tak penah tgk but Lie assured me it was interesting). Sbnrnye the portable hardisk was for my PhD nye purposes tp dah dirasmikan sbg tmpt simpan my fav tv shows hahah.. So sonok la jugak sbb ade sume citer² tu, tp tak cadang nak tgk pun lagi..

Then baper ari pastu Remy mntk citer² yg bleh ditengok sbb dia boring so instead of sending the files to him, I just left my portable hardisk kat tmpt dia and totally forgot about it..

Until a few minutes ago!

Tetibe rase boring and ingt nak start tgk Prison Break dari 1st episode. Tp bile pegi tmpt Remy, tgk² my portable hardisk dah takde. Ingt Remy bwk balik hostel ke so trus sms dia tanye where it was.

After a few minutes, Remy replied saying he thought it was Dr Ismail's so he had given it to Choong. I wasn't worried at this point sbb knowing that when Choong bukak bende alah tu n perasan ade my fav tv shows, dia mesti tau tu bukan dr Mail punye.. But still, I text him asking about it..

Then Choong called..

Cautiously he told me, "Ayu, saya dah format la bende tu!!!"


Upenye he had called Dr Mail and somehow Dr Mail must have forgotten but he claimed that that was his. Then, Choong still feeling a bit odd told him that there were tv shows in it and nothing else and Dr Mail told him, yes, he kept tv shows in his portable hardisk too..

We had a good laugh over it.. though I felt a bit.. what do you say.. lost! Hahah..

Padan muke Ayu.. sape suh tamau tgk awal².. kan dah miss sume trus! Ngan Prison Breaknye, CSI nye, Criminal Minds nye..

Uwaaa, Lieeeee, akak nak citer² tu baliiiiiiiiiikkkkk!!!!

Padan muke Ayu!

Pengajaran: Len kali bile org bg tu, tgk cepat².. jgn dok simpan²!


Friday, December 07, 2007


Pagi tadi otw nak gi sch, singgah la kat kedai dekat ngan umah tu for my daily fix of Nescafe Latte dlm tin tu (Ohhhh, Ayu suda ketagih semuleeee!!) Then mase nak kuar kete, terperasan la 2 org budak dlm lebey kurang 7~8 tahun tengah baik je pakatnye, tunduk² sambil pilih chocolate kat kedai tu..

Somehow, something struck me as odd..

Pastu baru pasan, 2-2 budak tu pakai kain pelikat and trus senyum sorang² sbb dapat agak dah, mesti budak² ni baru dapat green light utk kuar umah pas berkhatan. Chumel je tgk memasing pakai kain pelikat sambil suke pilih chocolate :)

Tingat mase Iwan, Adi n Ikram bersunat dulu. Adeh! Me as the one and only kakak they have, terpakse menurut perintah. Temankan diorg la ape la, terpakse miss tgk tv. Dah le diorg gume my room (my room je leh muat 3 tmpt tido, bilik diorg penuh!). Uhhhh, sgt 'tersekse' mase tu, asyik "Kak Yong nak tuuuu" or "Kak Yong nak niiii" hehe.. tp jugek sangat kelakar heheh..

Ikram paling penakut, ubat ape sume tanak makan and sanggup tahan nak weewee sbb takut sakit. Gile tul, pas 3 hari dia tak tahan sgt baru dia nak gi toilet pastu bile dia weewee lame sgt, panik dia panggil Abah sbb dia takut toilet bowl penuh ngan dia punye pee hahah..

Mase diorg baru balik klinik tu, beze je 3-3 org. Iwan masuk umah ngan chatterboxnye, mcm bersuant tu bende dia wat tiap² hari. Adi plak masuk umah dengan wat brave face. Senyum tu terplaster kat muke dia tapi dia tak mo cakap ape pun. Ikram la paling bes, whimpering je panggil Mama. Then bile Abah cakap, "Nape panggil Mama je, Abah kan ade..", dia tuko plak whimpering panggil Abah hahah..

Tapi mase tu mmg dengki la. Diorg dpt byk duit.. uhhh, tak aci! Dah le terpakse jadik nurse melayan diorg, sabo je le..

Mase Iskandar nye turn plak, dia sorg je.. tp sekali ngan our neighbour, Akram. Mase diorg ni bes, sbb student USM nak buat majlis berkhatan. Malam tu diorg sumer (ade dlm 20 org kot) 'bersanding' kat Desa Bakti. Then dapat kain pelikat sorg satu ngan duit and diorg dpt makan bes.

Esoknye, diorg duk kat court Desa Bakti and org bomba datang mandikan diorg gune the fire engine.. Uhhh, kak Yong dia terase nak join sekali heheh :) Then budak² ni kene dukung sampai Pusat Kesihatan and amik giliran nak berkhatan. Akram la kesian, dia takde kakak so dia datang la pegang my hand sebab dia takut. Sembg² ngan dia tamau bg dia takut (sbbnye Iskandar cam tak takut je time ni) pastu Akram nak pujuk diri dia sendiri, dia trus comment, "Kak Yong nnt bile nak bersalin nnt laaaaagi sakit dari Akram kan?" Adeh.. ke situ plak budak ni..

Iskandar nye turn, kitorg relax je sbb dia cam tak takut. tp tetibe dengar org menjerit dalam bilik Dr.. Huhu, upenye Iskandar la paling byk drama. Abah kene pegang kaki dia sumer and dia jerit tak berenti hahahaha.. padehal Dr tak start ape pun lagi.. Ohhh Iskandar, sungguh memalukan heheh..

Senyum sensorg plak bile teringatkan diorg ni.. sekarang memasing dah beso ngan perangai memasing. Kadang² rindu gak ngan diorg yg kecik, tp nak wat camne, sumer org membesar kan..


Erkk.. nape Ayu tulis dalam BM ye? Hahaha..


I luuuurrrvvvvvee this song ;)

oh oh oh
No matter what you say about love
I keep coming back for more
Keep my hand in the fire
Sooner or later I get what I’m asking for

No matter what you say about life
I learn every time I bleed
The truth is a stranger
Soul is in danger
I gotta let my spirit be free
To admit that I’m wrong and then change my mind
Sorry but I have to move on and leave you behind

I can’t waste time so give it a moment
I realized nothings broken
No need to worry about everything I’ve done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don’t look back got a new direction
I loved you once needed protection
You’re still a part of everything I do
You’re on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo
I’ll always have you (I'll always have you)

Sick of playing all of these games
It’s not about taking sides
When I looked in the mirror
Didn’t deliver
It hurt enough to think that I could
Admit that I’m wrong and then change my mind
Sorry but I’ve gotta be strong and leave you behind

I can’t waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothings broken
No need to worry about everything I’ve done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don’t look back got a new direction
I loved you once needed protection
You’re still a part of everything I do
You’re on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo
I’ll always have you (I'll always have you)

If I live every moment
Won’t change any moment
Still a part of me in you
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything I do, oh

I can’t waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothings broken (yeah)
No need to worry about everything I’ve done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don’t look back got a new direction (don't look back)
I loved you once needed protection (no, no)
You’re still a part of everything I do
You’re on my heart just like a tattoo

I can’t waste time so give it a moment (i can't waste time)
I realized nothings broken
No need to worry about everything I’ve done (no need to worry)
Live every second like it was my last one
Don’t look back got a new direction (don't you ever look back)
I loved you once needed protection
You’re still a part of everything I do
You’re on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo
I’ll always have you

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Of Ayu

Kate Yokies: Hang ni dah jadi keras hati dah, hang tau tak?

Kate org len: Awak dah banyak berubah!

Kate sorg lagi: Awak dah mcm bukan kawan saya yang dulu!

And said another: You've changed a lot!

And yet another: I can hardly know you now.. what happened?

Kate Ayu pulak: Tak pun, mane ade saya keras hati.. mane ade saya berubah.. saya masih 'Ayu' yang same. Masih 'Ayu' yang dulu!

Tapi kate mereke lagi: Nope! You've REALLY changed!!!


Sekarang Ayu dah tak lagi biar orang kate ape². Klau dulu, semua sindiran diterime dengan fake smile dan muke like she doesn't get the sarcasm at all, tapi skrg, sarcastic remarks more often than not receive counter sarcasm too.. much to Ayu's amusement, and the horror of others..

Sekarang Ayu dah tak lagi nak baik² sangat dengan orang yang baru dikenali, realizing that the people you learn to care for are capable of hurting you more than anything, intentionally or not.. no longer dah any stranger is welcome into my life until they prove they are worthy (which actually means takde sape pun, since Ayu's trust pun dah agak ilang.. lucky for her, old friends kinda understand this!)

Sekarang ayat² nak bg Ayu rase bersalah tak lagi affect hidup Ayu. Klau dulu, she'd take it seriously and try to rectify the situation, but now, sape berani dgn sengajenye buat ayat² kesian supaye Ayu rase bersalah, akan buat Ayu lagi menyampah dah meluat lagi tak mau layan.. enough said!

Sekarang Ayu dah tak lagi burst into tears at anything. Eg. One day a lecturer asked her, kenape Ayu suke sgt melayan budak² ni buat macam² (eg. send cards.. old friends know, this is the real me and Memory Lane sama Hallmark would be proud of me using their cards to full use heheh..) so her simple answer was, "Takpe Dr, sekali sekale menghiburkan hati diorg ni, ape salahnye? Kite pun seronok kan?" But the lecturer, jokingly I assume, said, "Hmm, bile pulak ye ade org nak hiburkan hati kamu nanti?" W/pun hati rase sedih, tp dgn 'berlagaknye' Ayu jawab,"Takde orang nak hiburkan pun takpe.." sambil buat muke stone and trus pergi.. Uhhh, harapnye takde la bunyi cam kurang ajar kan?

Sekarang, w/pun tiap² hari tingt, tapi buat² tak heran je.. bukannye senang, tapi nak buat camne, bukannye boleh dipakse :(

Sekarang bile ade mase lapang, selalu ingat yang buruk² je, pk nak balas dendam je kat sumer org. Nasib baik pengecut, so setakat pk dalam kepale je la, nak wat tak berani hahaha..

N sekarang, dendam macam susah nak ilang compared to before. Dah jadi hypocrite, buat baik je ngan diorg tp mengelak dari nak melayan sangat atau untuk tolong ape² (except for emergencies la, kejam sgt tu klau tak tolong). Buat la hint² nak tengok wayang ke, hint² nak ajak jalan² ke ape ke, Ayu dah pandai wat bodo n tak paham and ubah topik..

Bile pk² balik.. hmm, betul la Yokies, saya dah keras hati dgn sgt negativenye! Betul kate sumer org, Ayu dah berubah.. tapi kenape berubah negatif sgt?

And frankly, for now, I don't even miss the old Ayu!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

My raya

Hmm.. raye? Raye ye.. nak cakap ape ye pasal raye?!?!

This years raya is a bit.. what do you say?.. boring for me kot.

The most exciting part was the day before raye where my brothers Adi and Ikram came to Parit Buntar for some baju raya hunting. And may I say, those guys are more fussy than Izati. Sheesh! It took hours for them to find a baju melayu they liked and they were 'quarelling' throughout the 'shopping spree'.. ohhh, kakak mereke terase sgt malu huhu.. but since I had promised to pay for their baju melayu (Adi wanted to use his for his graduation and Ikram, well, he HAD helped pay for my new phone kan heheh..), I had to endure all the humiliation of being their one and only big sis.. adeh!

Then as we were about to pay, they spotted some butang baju melayu.. and once again, it took half an hour for them to choose which one they liked (and to my annoyance, it was the first one they had each picked! Ceh..). You know, I had always remembered those thing as being around RM5 per set, so you could imagine my suprise to find that they now cost at least RM30 per set. Gile tul.. my brooch pun murah lagi..

After that, we walked from Haji Fauzi right through to Billion, while stopping at nearly every shop on the way. Ikram and Adi wanted to buy some decent pants (with Adi who only owns jeans feeling he had to have something formal, and Ikram whom I just realized, doesn't like or even own jeans!) They finally managed to find good pairs of pant but by that time, I was already feeling like I wanted to go sit down somewhere. Then Adi, seeing my tired face asked me where the shoe department was. To my suprise, he wanted to buy me some shoes.. yeay!!!

BUT, I had to buy ONLY what he chose.. hehe, takpe la, free kan hehehe..

Anyway, he choose these high heeled sandals, much to my protests but he dared me to wear them and I told him, I fell flat on my face on raya, it will be his fault!

After that we went to Longwan as Ikram insisted he wanted to buy t-shirts there.. and boy did he buy them. I counted 7 t-shirts and another two pairs of pants! Adi bought two t-shirts too..
Then we went to the pasa Ramadhan to buy some pudding but the pasa Ramadhan had already lost its appeal so we headed back to my house to pray then went to Carrefour to buy Mama's
fav cake.

We had our iftar there and only arrived home in Penang at around 10pm.

The next morning was the most boring raya ever for me. We didn't go ANYWHERE as Abah had asked us to wait for him and Umi (and Annisa and Irfan!). We didn't even take any pictures except the one above where I insisted on taking one even when Adi, Ikram and Iskandar were missing in action..

We went back to Kuala Kangsar the next day with Abah making us promise to meet him at Juru's Shell around 8am. In a-not-so-suprising turn of events, Adi and Ikram woke up late
making the three of us the last to get outta the house (Mama had gone first with Izati and Iskandar, not wanting Abah to wait for us!)

As we were late, I had rushed through the toll before we thought of calling Mama. It was nearly 10 by then and guess what: Abah hadn't even arrived yet and Mama was still at Juru. Since we were hungry, the three of us decided to stop at the nearest RnR and have a leisurely breakfast. We took picture of us eating haha, then sent it to Izati whom we knew was hungry and a bit annoyed at Abah for being late :D

Arrived at Taiping at Mak Yang's house for lunch(?) then headed to Kuale to go for raya. It was around 8 that we decided to finally stop at Wan Chik's, with our stomachs full, mind you! Ayah Chik stared at me and asked me about my loss of weight (?) By God, it hasn't been that long, OR that much weight lost pun but I guess he hasn't seen me for a long time la kot but his comment bought tears to my eyes.. a year ago, I would've been whooping with joy if anyone said that to me, but considering the circumstances, I really felt like crying but pretended to play with my nephews who kept wanting to show me their toys.

Then we went to Mak Yong's house (after a bit of drama from Ikram.. well, I must admit, I agree with him.. but then again, who are we anyway *shrugs*) before finally calling it a day and
headed back to Penang. God, was I sleepy!!!

Anyway, there it is.. my boring raya! Huh.. I dunno, guess I'm just not enjoying things much anymore, huh?

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Yesterday I found a raya card from a year ago and was reading it while wondering when did everything all change..

Then from the radio came these words:
"Where'd you go
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've
been gone
Please come back home.."
It didn't help that had I first heard this song when the same friend has played it on his/her song player while we were sitting together with a bunch of friends.. in happier times that is :'(

Hahaha.. Ayu being sentimental here (more like 'mental'!!! Haha..).. and nostalgic.. and stupid! Huhuh.. I gotta stop listening to the radio while doing these kinda things hehehehe..

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Iftar at abg Fadzil's

Seems like towards the end of Ramadhan, we're getting more yummy iftars everyday hehe..

This time it was at abg Fadzil's. Kak Nor had come yesterday asking us to come. When I asked her, "Kak Nor nak masak ape?"

She answered, "Apa yang hangpa nak makan?"

Woohooo.. heheh, we get to choose ke?

Hahah, but of course la, we told her we'd eat anything.. and anything it was!

She had cooked enough to feed the whole school hehe.. There was the compulsory rice (compulsory for typical male Malays haha..!) with, lets see, about 5 types of lauk dishes, including two types of large prawn dishes and a chicken dish she called.. aiyak! I've already forgotten the name but it was like curry with a lil' twist. Then there was fried mee and koay teow as well as her style of bolognese spaghetti (it was more like soup.. but yummy!).. I can't even remember what else she cooked but I took a bit of each.. penat dia masak, amik le ati makan sumer and luckily but not to my suprise, it was yummy!

Then, after Maghrib prayers (and being 'forced' outta the kitchen when we wanted to help with the washing up hehe..), we were served with pre-raya cookies and hot tea (though the yummier cookies were dominated by the guys who refused to share with us).

By the time it was Isya, the guys were ready to head to the mosque but me and Farah, having not freshened up before going to abg Fadzil's decided to help kak Nor with the clearing up before and perform our Isya and tarawikh prayers at home.

We went home VERY full.. with some food packed by kak Nor which she insisted we took home. Hmm, yummy!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Another feather in my cap hehe..

Yesterday, feeling a bit adventurous, me and Farah decided to head to Seberang Jaya and take Dgon along with us for iftar at Nandos in Sunway Carnival. Provided that all the while, the nearest Nandos was at Juru Autocity, we decided to check out the latest (2-3 months old 'latest', that is) outlet here.

We had actually planned to go there today but since kak Nor (abg Fadzil's wife) wanted us to iftar at their house today, we had to 'reschedule' our outing. I was wearing a kebaya I seldom wore (ye laaa, ingat tak kuar dah pas balik from school) and terase sedikit malu to go out wearing it but since kak Nor insisted, adeh, I had to make myself comfy

On the way, Azam decided to join us so we planned on meeting at the said Nandos itself. Went to pick up Dgon then we went straight to Sunway Carnival.

Now, I don't really like eating hot things coz my face would go all sweaty and turn red while I try to grab as much glasses of water as possible. Usually, my pick is either Lemon and Herb or Mild but eversince I had tasted (and collected the lil' flag for) Hot, I was actually feeling more adventurous than ever.. though I'm cowardly enough not to order the quarter chicken, instead I opt for EXTRA HOT pita hohoh.. The gleaming red flag was getting more and more alluring to me as iftar neared :D

However, we got our orders a bit late, with mine being the last one. Still, at approximately 7.25pm on the 8th of October 2007, I was already the proud owner of all four lil' flags from Nandos.. hahah, an accomplishment you may ask?

Yup!!! That's my answer :D

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Over You <--My current fav song! :)

Sape ade lagu ni, I want this song :)

No.. no.. make it "I NEED this song!" hahaha.. Sangat bes, guess I'm gonna go Daughtry CD hunting after this :)

Daughtry - Over You lyrics
Artist: Daughtry
Album: Daughtry
Year: 2006
Title: Over You

Now that it’s all said and done
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I felt as if I was in way to deep
Guess I let you get the best of meeee

Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally gettin’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!
(End Chorus)

You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say,
And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of other’s opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for meee

Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally getting’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!
(End Chorus)

I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you

And I never saw it coming
I should have started running
I’m finally getting better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
And I got over you!!!
And I got over you!!!
And I got over you!!!

The day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you…

Friday, October 05, 2007

Fared cooking???

Fared had suddenly asked all of us 2 days ago if we were free today. Feeling a bit cheeky, I told him we were only free if he'd cook for iftar to whcih he suddenly smiled and told me that an iftar was actually what he had planned, thus another day of makan free hehe..

He wanted to borrow my (unused haha..) plates, pots and pans and whatever cooking utensils he could borrow, knowing fully well that my house is complete with all those utensils.. what is missing is a dedicated chef(ette) that cooks everyday hehe.. The reason was because he was planning on going back to his hometown since he had just goit a job there so he wanted to treat us to makan² before he went.

When I went to his house to sent the items he wanted to borrow, I was greeted with a sight most girls would love to see. The house was full with guys (Remy, Fared, Rashwan, Rai, Azam, Fadli, Lie and a few boys I didn't know) all sitting around in the living area chopping onions, milling the spices, making currypuffs and so on.. wow! THAT's a sight to behold! (Sile jangan percaye gambo Remy di bawah. Dia berlakon je tu hehe..)

I would've loved to stay tapi malu laaa.. I'm a girl remember! I decided to head off to school AFTER I left my camera with Remy so he'd capture those moments haha.. Anyway, they had already started cooking but I think I'd put those pictures in my fotopages one of these day (bile la nak ade mase update fotopages ni, Ayu?)

Here's a pic of Fared at the stove. (I want credit for the pots and pans he's using hehe..) He said all the guys helped with the cooking but knowing him (having cooked with him once), he's the head chef (yang sangat leceh and cerewet, if you ask me hehe..)

By the time we arrived, at nearly 7pm, everything was ready. We girls were suprised by the spread and here is a snapshot of the food on our side of the spread. There was definitely a whole lot more food than that but I could only snap this much hehe.. Yummy, huh? We were definitely full by the time we staggered outta his house :)

Btw, Fared solo lagi.. Sape nak? Please contact me and I'll give your contact num and details to him heheh..

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Tagged by Sentot..

Aikkk.. kene tag lagi? Well, here goes..

Five things in my bag

1. My pink purse (People always wonder why I chose pink as the colour for my purse *this is the 2nd pink purse I've used*. Heck! I used to wonder myself why people would choose pink so really, I don't actually know why I chose pink hehe..)

2. My PINK phone. Yup, my NEW phone hahaha.. as opposed to my old blue Nokia 2100 that has always been the object of ridicule for abg Fadzil, Choong, Remy, Ramadhan.. basically all my buddies in the post-grad room. Though abg Fadzil and Remy's phone are just adik-beradik of my monocolour/monophonic phone, but mine was the worst because the battery is gelong too hehe..

3. My pencil box.. full with pens, pencils and stationery I don't actually use that much!

4. My calculator. Hmm, I used to be called Ayu calculator in school since I always had my calculator in my pocket. I had shaken off that habit during my undergraduate years but I guess old habits die hard, eh?

5. My cute kitty pouch. My kakaks had given it to me along with a matching sling bag on my 25th birthday (or was it 24th?) and I now use it for my pressed powder, lipstick and lipgloss as well as a sanitary pad (for emergencies la!)

Five things inside my wallet

1. My I/C (800325 07 5496) <--why the hell did I type that?

2. My driving license which has a picture of me at 22 looking like a 16-year-old haha..

3. My Bonuslink card.. you never know when or where you could collect points :p

4. What I love to call my duit selit² which I fold neatly and put it around the purse that sometime amount to more than RM100

5. Sabir's matrics cards (Hahaha.. only those who know the story would know who he is and why his card is with me heheheheh..)

Five things in my favourite room (Which is my bedroom, the ONLY room I 'own' in my rented house hoho..)

1. My collection of cushions and soft toys which I mostly shove off the bed when I wanna go to sleep now.

2. My Mac which I could no longer use. Adi tried to look into it but I guess its beyong repair now *sigh*

3. Each and every gift/card my friends and family have ever given me. Ohhhh, tak berani tinggal kat umah Penang, ilang nanti Ayu nangis tak berenti :)

4. A whole lot of those coloured and cute cardboard boxes you can buy and assemble with all sorts of things in them.

5. Save the best for last: My book collection, of course!

Five things I would like to do

1. Does 'trying to forget what I guess I'm supposed to forget' count? :'(

2. Try to finish puasa nam and puasa ganti in Syawal

3. Give my Atos a full service (and change the tyres too). I didn't go to the workshop for nearly 6 months but my dear car never complained.. waaaa, no wonder I love it!

4. Buy Adi and Ikram something for Raya. They've always helped me whenever I'm stuck, wish I could do something for them..

5. Smile without feeling as if its something I HAVE to do.. :(

*updated*I'd also like to find my missing watch. I've searched everywhere for it and it kinda has a sentimental value for me.. I just dunno where its gone to :'(

Five things I'm currently on

1. Writing my Raya cards ASAP

2. TRYING VERY HARD (really!!!) to START doing my PhD proposal hahahaha..

3. Learning more about my phone.. while being a 'perak' in the process. When I put 'In perak mode' in my YM status, Ashraf innocently asked me, "Kak Ayu kan ke memang orang Perak (Darul Ridzuan)?" Hahaha.. aparaaaa Ashraf!! Hehe..

4. Reorganizing my cube. Hey! If I'm gonna stay here another 2-3 years or so, I'd better make myself comfy, huh?

5. Giving pep talks to myself everyday on.. well.. on something :( Go, go, go Ayu!!! Hehe..

Five people I'm gonna tag.. Baizurah sgt tak aci. I'm the one usually tagging people but since this time she's the first one to tag, she's taken most of my 'victims'. *sigh*

1. Pojie

2. Amer

3. Yuhyi.. even though ALL THREE haven't even done the previous tag

4. Good ol' Ayeen.. who'd do this tag ASAP.. won't you dear?

5. Jidaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. since your blog is actually alive and breathing now :)

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Adi yang degil..

Hmmm.. truth is, it wasn’t supposed to be this way!

Problem is, I have a stubborn brother hahah..

Ok, those of you who’ve read my earlier entries would’ve noticed me quoting Adi on 8 things about me. One of which he said I was gonna buy him that Wings of Redemption Spawn for his birthday. He meant if as a joke (bleh caye ke?) but it got me thinking..

Anyway, after brooding on the subject for a few days (and peering into my measly savings), I decided, what the heck, at least I’d be able to buy him something he really wants for his birthday. However, since I wasn’t familiar with these figurines, I had to ask his girlfriend, Ana, for help. Turns out, Ana was also thinking along the same lines, but being it in the middle of Ramadhan and nearing Syawal, she didn’t have enough money for it. My heart sank when she said this (read: Mahal ke?) and I asked her what was the lowest price she had found on EBay (it seems that it is now a collectors item as it is no longer sold on the shelves) and she told me it was more than RM300.

*Gulp* There goes my already measly saving that would be starving to death if I bought that ‘berhala’ (Abah’s expression on Adi and my collection of toys huhu..) for him.

Then Ana came with the idea for us to both share the cost for it, and it brightened by day instantly hahah.. I wanted to suggest it but malu laaaaa heheh..

So it was up to Ana to bid the ‘thing’ while I had to come up with ways to support us financially (the final date for the bid was before Ana’s paycheck). Ana did most of the hardwork as she had to build a whole new EBay account since we knew the said WOR Spawn was in Adi’s watchlist so he could ‘see’ who else wanted to bid on it. Then, when we ‘won’ the WOR Spawn, she had to fake a stomachache and all that just so Adi won’t follow her when she went to see the seller.

We were ecstatic when it was in our hands.. but it was still around 10 days to Adi’s birthday. It was so hard to keep a secret, knowing Adi would definitely love his present.

Then, something came up..

Adi had found another WOR Spawn on EBay which was a loose item, therefore much cheaper than the price me and Ana had paid. While we paid more than RM300 for the Spawn, Adi found one at RM98. Shesshh!! Just our luck. Like I said to Ana, “Gile camtu, maknenye kotak dia je dekat RM300!

Adi was excited and wanted to bid. As I had learnt, these bidders prefer to bid at the last minute, just to make sure they get the best price or something like that so Adi was waiting for the 2nd of October (3 days before his birthday) to bid for the item.. Me and Ana were panicky already at this development.

Silently cursing the seller, we had to make other plans. Somehow, we knew that we had to tell him earlier to we settled on telling him on the 2nd, right before he went to bid on the item.

Then, another thing happened. Adi had bid on this figure and it turned out, the seller was the same guy we had bought the WOR Spawn. Once again we panicked. I kept thinking, this Spawn really is cursed haha.. Ana was worried the seller would recognize her and our cover would be blown so last minute adjustments: we had to tell him that night.

We decided right after iftar would be the best time and since Izati was with them, she was bought into the plan too. Whenever Adi bought up the subject of wanting to bid for the item, Ana, Izati (and Maeil, Ana and Adi’s officemate) would make all sorts of excuses to stop him from doing it. It came to a point that Adi felt hurt on why people were not letting him spend his own money. I had called him a few nights (every night) prior to that day pretending I was interested in his collection just to make sure he didn’t bid on it.. we had decided that if Ana or Maeil was the one who asked, he’d guess our plan!

However, as reported by Izati, Adi started to sulk before iftar as Ana kept telling him to postpone his plan to bid on the WOR Spawn (Yeah! We were still hoping we wouldn’t have to give him our surprise BEFORE his actual birthday). Then Ana text me telling me that Adi was sulking, it was then that we knew, we just HAD to tell Adi that night..

So that’s what we did. When they went back to the car after iftar, Ana told Adi, “Ni kak Yong suruh bagi awal!” Why my name only? Hahah..

Adi, still wanted to sulk, momentarily forgot he was supposed to make his hurt Bambi face and quickly proceeded to open the present..

Tada.. He couldn’t stop smiling and Ana kept snapping his pictures while sending them to me. She even caught him on video, my brother the kunun² malu² kucing guy saying thank you over and over.

He called me too, and more than ever, I was glad to note the excitedness (does this word even exist?) in his voice. At least it made me feel a bit better, not being able to be there myself to see his face when he opened his gift (What is it with carefully planned gifts, that you just wanna see the recipient’s face when they open your thoroughly-thought-through present?)

Hehe.. that’s my brother.. and I’m glad we forked out to buy that Spawn for him. The figure he had bought a few minutes before that iftar was even left aside for a few days after haha..

Monday, October 01, 2007

My guest room..

This past weekend have been quite good for me. Hehe, a lot of thins have happened but I'll take my time to write it.. IF I have the time anyway..


What I'd like to 'flaunt about' in today's entry is about the extra room in my rented house.

As some of you know, I had at first decided that I wanted to stay alone but when Rusya wanted to find a room, I decided to let her in. But then this house has 3 rooms so I decided that I'd take the extra room (and pay two-thirds of the rent, of course!). The reason: Yun, Dgon and Izati visit here frequently and when they do, they usually sleep on the couch or if its Izati, she'd prefer a sleeping bag in my room.

I had actually decided to convert the middle room into my library and the other room into a guest room (if I was staying alone, that is..) but since Rusya has taken the other room, I had to do a bit of plan-changing.

The extra books in my room now sit in the living area in two new book racks.. Kunun like an intellectual person living there la tu kot ahaha.. so now my bedroom, though still full with books, its no longer too full with them.

The middle room was my next project. If before, it was quite bare and empty.. but now heheh..

It took a few weeks and some careful planning on my budget (I don't exactly snort out gold coins, do I?). Basically, this weekend was the buy-assemble-and-prepare the room phase.. and yippee!!! I finally made the room look.. well, like a room heheh..

The room now sports a matress peninggalan Yana my old housemate hehe.. (I'm not gonna buy a bed la for that room, a bed for myself cukup le..) complete with my old pillow and bedsheet. I bought a bamboo mat and a full length mirror (my friends always say, "Umah Ayu ni takde cermin la.." Sowi, I don't really use mirrors hahah <--no wonder my tudung always looks berserabut, huh?) for it too.

Then I had moved the ironing board (we usually iron near the laundry area as all rooms were usually occupied) and iron into the room and bought this clothes rack.. you know, the two-tiered one where my guests (huhuh..) could hang their towel on the lower tier and their clothes on the upper one.. and yes, had to buy new clothes hangers for the rack too..

Okay, it might not seem much, but for someone belonging to the lower income group, since I'm not actually working yet, I'd take it as an accomplishment. Now I don't mind having overnight guests as opposed to always wondering where on earth am I gonna put my friends in case they come here..

Huh.. but it sure is tiring (and not to mention, reducing the weight and volume of my pink purse hehe)! And I think I'm gonna get some shut eye in the musolla.. cheerio!!

Friday, September 28, 2007

Puddings.. yummy!!!

Yesterday I had teased Fared about iftar when he suddenly said he had planned one but he was hoping us girls would come up with the dessert. Yippee, Fared nak masak heheh.. I told Farah of Fared's plan and she told me about this pudding she had bought at a stall, suprises of suprises, just at the corner of my house.

Now, even though we're halfway through Ramadhan, I still haven't got the chance to even set foot in the local pasar Ramadhan.. and last year I went there nearly EVERYDAY. One of my favourite stalls was this mak cik who sold all kinds of puddings so you can imagine my frustration on why I still can't go to the pasar Ramadhan.

However, listening to Farah, I decided to go have a taste at the particular pudding at this stall, imagining it to be a normal kuih stall. However, to my pleasant suprise, the pak cik who looked like a school teacher who owned the stall sold PUDDINGS ONLY.. and I was spoilt with choice. I bought 5 types of pudding yesterday hehehe.. and believe me, were they YUMMY.. hmm mmm!!!

Knowing that since I have class this afternoon, I can't possibly go to the pasar Ramadhan yet.. but today I don't regret it. I've still got a lot more pudding to taste from this kindly pak cik with a twinkle in his eye (why do I think I sound like Enid Blyton?) when he watched me and Farah go ga-ga over the puddings.. yeayyyy!!!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Bangun lambat!!!!

As I was lamenting yesterday, the night before I couldn't sleep at all, resulting me in going to school at the wee hours of the morning (7am still considered 'wee hours' ke?)

Then, arriving at school, I just remembered I had promised Farah to help her in her lab.. and I made the mistake of wearing a silk baju kurung.. adeh! Still, a promise is a promise. Uhhhh, no wonder Farah needs help, doing a reseach in concrete technology isn't exactly my cup of tea. Her blocks weighed around 13kg each and we had to haul them around the lab on both floors.. Gimme a traffic cont under the scorching sun anyday!

So naturally, last night I was VERY tired. I must've hopped into bed around 11pm.. Nope, make that 12am. I had called Adi first..

And I had a most peaceful sleep in a very long time..

So peaceful that I didn't wake up at the sound of the alarm at sahur..

And even when a friend had sent an sms (and believe me, Iskandar's phone has the most boisterously noisy tone for a received sms!!!), I still didn't wake up.. sheesh!!! And I was counting on those sounds to wake me up.. uwaaaaaaa!!!

I only woke up at 7.35am..

Ohhhh.. lapoooo!!!!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Tummy tum tum..

Its 7.00 am and I'm wondering what I'm doing in school mase ayam pun tak bangun lagi (kate si Nabil laaa..)

Truth is, I had trouble sleeping last night. After tossing and turning until 1am, I decided to read this boring book I had bought years ago.. somehow, last night the book didn't seem that boring, thus dashing my hopes of making it help me sleep. Then around 1.45am, the power went out and I was left in total darkness.. sheesh!

I tried reading with my flashlight, but reading with your flashlight looks good only on tv, or when you were smaller. Before long, my hands were tired from holding on to the flashlight, so once again I tried to sleep.. without succeeding that is! The next thing I knew, it was time for sahur and after Subuh, I still couldn't sleep.. thus explaining the reason why lil' Miss Ayu seems a little bit rajin to come early today.. *sigh*

Sitting infront of the pc, I think I have to write something (Dr Farhan said,"You have left your writing for too long now.. you should start practicing!" Hmmm, wonder if blog writing counts heheh..)

Yesterday morning, I woke up to sahur with an uneasy stomach. A quick calculation made me realize it was nearly my time of the month anyhow.. but somehow, this tummy ache felt a bit different.

As I tried to get some shut eye before Subuh, my tummy became a bit more uncomfortable so when I heard the azan (without getting a chance of a nap), I decided to head to the toilet and get done with it once and for all.. hah!!

Turned out, it was pure torture!!!!!

Adi had diarrhea a few days earlier and sounded so weak when I called him.. this time it was my turn I guess. But seriously, I've never felt anything like this before.. gile sakit perut mase tu! I felt like crying.. (tipu, dah nangis pun haha..)

I'm not sure what I ate. I mean, I was avoiding eating the chicken soup again for iftar that day so I had bought maggi goreng ayam at A.Rahman after my class.. which btw, I have bought numerous times before. I just dunno what happened..

When it started, I really felt like fainting. Seriously! I was holding on to the tap till my knuckles were white as I was afraid of falling down. Cold sweat broke all over my body and before long my pyjamas were wet.. and I wasn't wearing a thin nightdress ke ape ke.. I was wearing cotton pyjamas that could be squeezed as it was so soaken (ade ke word ni?) through. Then I started vomitting.. sheesh! And the cramps in my bowels hadn't even stopped though I think I had nothing else in me anymore.. but the pain was terrible!!!!

I was whimpering in the end.. pathetic! But seriously, I've never been in such pain :(

When the duration between the cramps got a bit more longer, I managed to walk slowly to my room to change my wet pyjamas but the cramps came again so I just wrapped my towel around me and went back to the bathroom and before long, even the towel was wet with my sweat.. adeh!

I tried to lie down but everytime the cramps came, I started whimpering again.. oohhh, seriously pathetic this time!

It was around 7am that the cramps finally stopped and I didn't feel nauseous anymore. Then only did I manage to perform my Subuh prayers while hoping that the pain was FINALLY gone. I then slept for 4 hours straight (didn't go to school in the morning then..) and woke up feeling better with no temperature whatsoever except for a bitter taste in my mouth..

I seriously don't know what is it that I ate, but I guess I'm gonna skip A.Rahmans maggi goreng for a while.. I certainly DON'T want to experience THAT again!!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Ayu and her soup ahaha..

I'm not the type who actually spends my days cooking. In fact, I usually only cook during Ramadhan or when I'm bored with bought food or when I'm at home and feel like, what the Malays say as, bagi dapoq berasap hehe..

I'm not saying that I'm a good cook too.. just so and so. Enough for me to survive. Though I do love trying out new recipes that catch my attention. However, there is one dish that I really suck at making.. and you may be suprise when I say that I suck at making soup!

Yup.. the simple clear soup.. and I dunno how to make it. Laugh at me if you want to, but thats the truth.

However, a few weeks prior Ramadhan, I had made up my mind to at least be able to make edible soup, thus started my journey toward the enlightenment in soup-making ahaha..

And I found out, just as everyone says, its not really that hard. I'm beginning to wonder why I was never confident enough in soup making before. Not that I find out my soup is outta this world, far from it! But at least it tastes like everyone else soup.. but made by my own two hands.. yeay!!!

The reason I was happy for this was because I love chicken soup with lots and lots of mushrooms and the pasar malam is usually bursting with these fresh ingredients so now I don't have to go to Bagan Samak for a dose of soup (except when I want delicious soup la.. as opposed to my biase² soup). The second reason is, as a potato lover, I've always loved potatoes when cooked in soup or spicy curries.. yummy! At home, when I make the chicken curry for the family, I put an abundance of potatoes in it.. and I won't need rice. Just a plate of steaming chicken curry heaped with potatoes and maybe a slice or two of bread.. Ooohh! Even my tummy is grumbling at the thought of it..

Anyway, last Friday, I was suddenly craving for some chicken and mushroom soup (besides the fact that I wanted to improve my soup making skills hahah..) so at noon, I went home and sauteed the shallots and garlic then proceeded to make soup kosong first with only potatoes (well, potatoes DO take long to soften, don't they!) I hadn't bought any chicken or mushroom yet as I didn't have a fridge at home but since my class ended at 6.30, I expected to be able to pop to the pasar malam for some chicken (there's this stall that sells cut up chicken where you can choose whichever part you want.. and they've cleaned the chicken too!) and mushrooms then head home and leave them to boil in my soup kosong while I take my shower or something.

However, I was disappointed to find the particular stall closed, much to my dismay. Shessh! Now I had to buy chicken which I had to wash myself haha (ayat pemalas). At first I thought of cancelling it all, but then I remember, I had already prepared the soup at home so nak tanak, terpakse la beli ayam jugak. And you know la the usual stalls sell chicken by the whole thing or paling sikit pun you have to buy half the chicken.. which was what I had to do! Gile banyak.. sape nak makan???

Back home, I had to add some seasonings to my soup as the prepared soup was actually for just a small portion, then I had to cut and wash my half-chicken before dumping them into the soup. Then, I realized the pot I had used was too small thus I had to dump all its contents into a larger pan.. uwaaaa!!! Sangat gile banyak dah ni..

As a result, I got what I wanted.. but on a larger scale. Gile tul, I had chicken soup for that iftar, then for sahur the next day. Then for iftar on Saturday and sahur on Sunday.. AND for iftar on Sunday and sahur on Monday. The differance was just that some days I took it with bread and some days I took it with pasta. By then, I was sick of chicken soup. On Sunday, the potato lover in me couldn't even take another potato in soup anymore so I fished out all the potatoes and fried them and ate them with ketchup hahah..

So yesterday, I told abg Fadzil and Farah of my soup weekend (being just eaten another bowlful of soup that morning for sahur *ughhhh*). Abg Fadzil even asked me, when I had told him about the fried potato incident, "Awat hang tak buat cucoq ubi ka.. begedil (burger-dil kate Pojie hehe..) ka.. wedges ka.. kan hang suka ubi.. amik la semua ubi kat hang!!" Uwaaaa..

That afternoon, while we were sitting quietly in our cubes (Farah in Choong's cube), abg Fadzil suddenly asked us what we were having for iftar?

I for one know, whatever it is, it WON'T be chicken soup!!!!

Monday, September 24, 2007

*contented sigh* & drums in my head


Its been days since I last felt at least this bit of contented. Since last week, it has felt as if I' m in a lost world.. lonely and dark. The reason: I don't have my pc with me!!!

Last week, I came to school full of hopes of being able to start on my proposal and papers (Tipu!!! Niat nak main game dulu tu..). As usual, when I get into my cube, I switch on the pc first before putting down/arranging my bags on the seat beside me. Usually, by the time I turn around, my pc is already on. However, on that particular day, I was met with a blank screen..

Aik.. ingat dah switch on..

So I switched it on again only to find out something wrong with my pc which refused to be switched on. Asking abg Fadzil for help, he suggested I call Hurman and that was what I did. Hurman then godek² my pc whilst I had to help this final year student with her thesis. Around half an hour later, after Hurman had tried all the tricks in his trade, he concluded that I had to replace the power supply.. and since the one at school was too big for my cpu, I had to send it to the shops outside of USM.. sheesh!!!

I had already seen Hurman try to replace mine with the one in school and it only took him 5 minutes. However, I had to leave my cpu at the shop itself and I knew it was gonna take days.. uwaaaaaa!!!

For days I wandered around aimlessly <--Ayu exaggerating hahah..

Anyway, I just got my pc back today.. yeay!!! Wanted to do a 'Welcome back' party complete with banners, balloons and food, but since its Ramadhan, I just welcomed it back with a cleaner desk (gile byk habuk bawah pc tu selame ni..) hehe..


This morning, I had this splitting headache that I definitely don't wanna experience again. Have you ever seen cartoons with natives banging large drums? Well, I felt as if I had a group of them in my head.. and not only that, they also had other drum beaters banging on THEIR respective drums ala dragon boat drums style, giving encouragement for those natives to bang even louder! I could even imagine someone doing the tarian naga in my head to the beat of those drums.. and its was a very energetic tarian naga there..

Okay, my imagination is getting the better of me here..

Still, it hurt like h***! When I went to take my wudhu' this morning, the bathroom felt like it was swaying and by the time I wanted to raise my head, it felt as heavy as lead :(

It didn't help that I haven't had enough sleep throughout the weekend. I mean, tossing and turning but eventually going to sleep (even if its at 3am) is soooo much different than staring at the ceiling without being able to sleep at all right till sahur. I managed a few winks while waiting for Subuh for those three days (including this morning la..) but thats about it..

No wonder my head hurts like mad!!

And I was starting to regret my decision to never counsume any panadols or pain killers when the rain suddenly came down very lebat la around 6.10am. The noise kinda was in rythm with the beating of drums in my head.. though it just hurt much more, it was kinda therapeutic..

Gasp!!! Look at Ayu.. me thinks she's already lost it!!!!

Haha.. anyway, luckily right now, the headache has gone away for quite awhile. Still, that doesn't account for another 'headache' I'm having right now regarding something I'm trying to 'repair'..

Well, wish me luck guys.. and pray that I'll get to sleep tonight, will ya?

Monday, September 17, 2007


Hmmm.. today is the 5th day of Ramadhan and to all Muslims, I'd like to wish all of you a blessed Ramadhan with hopes and prayers that by the end of this holy month, we'll be better Muslims :)

I'd also like to ask for forgiveness for all wrong that I've done, intentionally (which I hope didn't actually do) or unintentionally and may the ukhuwah bestowed upon us be stronger and better.


Hmm.. being the 5th day of Ramadhan, I've been unfortunate enough to not get a chance to perform the tarawikh prayers at the mosque nor musolla..

The first night, I had a class that my 'boss' didn't allow me to change the time of it. Sheesh! Luckily, my students backed me up so the next class for this particular group has been moved to a more suitable time.

The second night was with a class with no Muslims whatsoever.. so no chance of the students backing me up, huh? *sigh* Good thing these classes are only till the end of this month :)

The third night, I had promised my family to go for iftar at Abah's place. However, I was stuck in the traffic on the highway and only arrived at Abah's place at 8pm. By the time Abah wanted to go for tarawikh, I still hadn't taken my shower so I had to decline going along with him and Iskandar.

The fourth night was more because of the rain. It had been raining non-stop all day and though it wasn't actually flooding, water was rising along the roads dangerously. Even the short drive from my tuition centre back to my house ended in my car giving out strange noises that I didn't dare go out.. the rain didn't even stop the next day..

The fifth night, I was finally thinking I'd get to go to the musolla but just at 7.09pm, Murphy's Law decided to give me a visit so naturally, I heard my phone (more like Iskandar's phone.. yup, he still won't give my phone back!) ringing while I was in the bathroom, struggling with my hair which had too much shampoo making my head resemble a McDonald's sundae.. without the chocolate fudge that is! I scrambled trying to wash it all of when I heard it stop ringing but just as I was starting to relax, it rang again. Turned out it was kak Yun reminding me about iftar at her house.. sheesh! I totally forgot about it. Then, as usual, when there's a lot of people, there'd be so much to talk about that by the time I returned home, it was already way past Isya'.. so I missed it again.

Hmm.. I'm crossing my fingers that I'd be able to go tonight.. wish me luck!!!


Now about the pasar Ramadhan, this is also another Ramadhan specialty which I haven't been able to go to.. *sigh*

The first day was because I had class in Bagan Serai, so I thought I'd be able to go to the pasar Ramadhan over there. However, much to my suprise, they had changed the venue to only-God-knows-where! Had to iftar with KFC.. uwaaaaaa!!!! Didn't feel like puase la when iftar with KFC.. I want ayam percik! I want all kinds of pudding! I want nasik kerabu!!! :'( <--I sound tamak gile kan?!? Hehe..

The second day, like I said earlier.. iftar on the highway otw to Abah's. Luckily I had bought an apple with me.. uhhh, tapi syahdu je berbuke camtu.. tak proper langsung...

The third day, determined to break fast with kuih, I decided to go to this stall I had noticed otw to my class and though it was raining heavily (like I said, nearly flooding), I braved the rain to get my hands on the only kuih left at the stall. A curry puff, two fried popiahs and and agar² santan.. yeay!!! By the time I reached home, my car was giving out strange noises, being in the rain I guess, and I was soaked to the skin.. gile ah! Even my underwear was soaking wet, so you can imagine how wet my jeans were.. and they're supposed to be heavy duty, huh? But, I had a prized possesion in my hands.. kuih!!!! :)

The fourth day, I went for iftar at kak Yun's. Originally I had wanted to go to the pasar Ramadhan but then I noticed that my apples were to the last one. Knowing the only place I could buy good apples was at the pasar malam, I decided to head to the pasar malam instead (which turned out to disappoint me as the fruit vendors were ALL missing!!!) By the time I got back home, it was too late to go to the pasar Ramadhan so I had settled myself to just make a sandwich or something. However, kak Yun called hehe.. We had fried ikan merah, vegetable soup with lots and lots of mushroom (yummy!) and stir fried prawns. Kak Na bought along with her tempoyak masak that is outta this world (I like it but I usually eat only a tiny bit coz my Pah love to cook lem with shreded daun kunyit that I'd have to pick out when I wanna eat it.. but kak Na didn't use those leave and I found myself eating A LOT of the sambal tempoyak masak.. waaahhh, sedap gile!!!!) and bubur kacang. For fruits, we had guava and mangoes :)

Today? Hmm, I'd really love to go to the pasar Ramadhan but I've got a class till 6.30pm which translates into: You've got no time at all to go to the pasar Ramadhan! I'm thinking of making a tuna sandwich though *sigh*

Tomorrow I've also got a class.. at Bagan Serai. And the next four days also full with classes right before or right after iftar so I'll just toss the thought of going to the pasar Ramadhan outta the window, huh?

*sigh* I wish I could go... uwaaaaa!!!


A few days ago, I noticed that the tissue box in my car was empty. remembering that I had no more tissues at home, I quickly went to Billion to buy those packets of tissue boxes. I love using Kleenex heheh.. not only are they soft enough to use when I have one of my sneezing fits, the boxes come in a variety of designs hehe.. this time I choose these boxes with rose motives (I haven't seen them before).. really sweet!

When I arrived home, I arranged the extra boxes in my room and suddenly noticed that there seemed to be more boxes than usually and I was wondering why when I suddenly remembered the reason I was feeling that way.. see, usually when I buy theses packs of tissue, I'd give half of it (2 boxes from the 4) to this fella who insisted on using pink serviettes for his nose whenever he has his sneezing fit. This time, I don't share it with anyone, so thats why it seemed like so much hehe..

I didn't know whether to laugh.. or to cry at the memory of it! But still, it bought a smile to my face so I guess, I'll just do that :)


Anyway, enough of my laments heheh.. Selamat berbuke puase everyone :) :) :)

I've been having a blissful sleep these couple of days.. okay la, tipu skit! Blissful sleep ONLY when I get to fall asleep la, and provided that we ignore the fact that I ALWAYS get up at 3.30am.. sheesh!!!

Anyway, the reason was because I just changed the sheets (suda lebey 3 minggu tak tuko ahahah <--anak dare pemalas!) AND washed my blanket. Like I said in my tag, I can't sleep with my blanket and since I just washed it it smell mmm-mmm hehe..

I use the normal Softlan for everyday clothes coz the smell is just heavenly. But I also love using the Lavender Softlan Ultra that I use solely for my telekungs, towels, bedsheets and blanket.. and the smell has been lingering for days.. waahhhh, like sleeping in a field full of flowers (okay, Ayu suda mule merepek heheh..) Seriously, you should try it out.. though I should warn you: I didn't believe that you didn't have to use much of the Softlan Ultra and proceeding to use a tad more than recommended. The results: I had to wash my telekungs all over again as the smell was too overpowering haha..

*Softlan should pay me for the free advertisment!!!*

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Kekasih Gelapku

Kekasih Gelapku - Ungu

Ku mencintai mu, lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu
Ku mencintai mu, sedalam-dalam hati ku
Meskipun engkau hanya, kekasih gelap ku

Ku tahu ku tak kan selalu ada untukmu
Disaat engkau merindukan diriku
Ku tahu ku tak kan bisa memberikanmu waktu
Yang panjang dalam hidupmu

Yakinlah bahwa engkau adalah cinta ku,
Yang ku cari s'lama ini, dalam hidup ku
Dan hanya pada mu ku berikan sisa cinta ku,
yang panjang dalam hidup ku,hidup ku…

Ku mencintai mu, sedalam-dalam hati ku
Meskipun kau hanya, kekasih gelap ku
Kekasih gelap ku…

*Lagu ni sgt bes.. tp sangat sedih jugeeekkk*

Friday, September 07, 2007

The 'rojak' entry

...dream... makes us feel better... and lying to ourself is more easy than to other but it's a deeper wound than u know... being lied in the face when u know its a lie but pretending nothing happens... or lying to someone when she or he knows you're lying... which is deeper?

Read that in Adi's blog. I felt a tug at my heartstrings when I went through those words.. Ishhh, Ayu being sentimental haha.. Must've struck a nerve somewhere..

Adi, must you make me cry in the early hours of the morning?


This morning I went to buy some nasik lemak kuning. Its been a long time since I last went there and I was suprised to see that they have extended their shop just a bit.. to accomodate their 'herds' of customers la kot hehe.. and I was also suprised when the adik and pak cik there still remembered me..


Abg Fadzil told me, he finally DID sing that Lelaki Ini song to kak Nor ahahah.. and kak Nor told him he was a romantic :D Huhu, orang dah lame kawen, tapi still cam baru bercinta.. chumel!!!


Ooohhh, did you guys hear about this girl's phone?

Its an ancient phone she's been using since 2003, I think. the phone's been giving her problems but she hasn't given up on it (Come to think of it, she seldom's give's up on things that she REALLY should, anyway :( )

Anyway, a few days ago, when a friend had called her, she noticed once again the screen on the phone 'vanished'. Sighing, she just picked up the phone which was luckily NOT from someone she didn't actually wanna talk to hahah.. then as the call ended, her phone was stuck.. you know, like when you computer hangs? Well, THAT's what happened to her phone?


When she managed to switch it back on, the key pad were not working properly at all.

Double s***!!!

Yeah², I know.. I can hear someone saying, "I know you're talking bout your own phone!" Hahah..

Yup, my phone is trying to send signs to its owner to make her understand that it wants to retire.. but then I'm pretending to not understand haha.. But sheesh, its so hard to deal with a phone like this. I mean, it'll work for a couple of hours, then mogok again where I can't use it for texting messages or anything..

Went home a couple of days ago and told Ikram and Mama of my plight and they gave me the obvious solution: Buy a new phone! Thats not to mention what my fellow friend here tell me to do haha.. but I'm broke la *sobs*

Then, what do you know: This morning, Mama otw to Tangkak came to my house. Along with her was Iskandar who was waving one of his phones (Yeah, my brother who's 15 owns more phones now than I ever did in my whole lifetime!). When I asked what did he mean by doing that, he promptly took my aging phone and transferred my entire phonebook into his unused phone before handing me his phone..

Ayat dia: Ndar sian tengok phone kak Yong!


Then, Mama told me, Ikram had resolved, for his next pay check, he's gonna buy me a new phone. And not just any phone, but the phone he knows I've been eyeing for quite a while (more like nearly a year now hahah..) He's always been asking WHEN am I finally gonna buy the phone anyway and even calls it phone Mr Bean as he had seen the phone on the recent Mr Bean movie which the French actress was using.

Of course la I declined! Not only do I think the phone is too expensive for him to buy for me (more than RM1k IS expensive for me!!!) but also sangat malu laaaa hahah.. I'm 6 years older than him la, I should be the one buying HIM phones hehe..

But like Mama said, thats his way of showing how much he loves me and if I don't go and buy a new phone quickly, I should expect him to buy it for me already with his next pay check..

What she meant: Pegi la beli cepat² klau kesian kat adik tu!!!! Hehehe..

Double and triple and quadruple ADEH~~

I only have half the price of the phone in my 'tabung tepon kak Yong'! Hmm, maybe I should jual kuih pagi² to top it up heheh.. (Pandai ke wat kuih, Ayu?)

P/S Iskandar's phone is very 'unfriendly'.. sakit jari nak text sms. But don't tell him, or he'll think I don't appreciate his help huhu..

Ohhh my brothers.. I love you guys too :)


Erwan told me some updates on the allowance for postgraduates. It seems that the allowances are being raised. From RM 1300 to RM 1500 for M.Sc and RM1500 to RM1800 for PhD candidates..

To someone who has never had a real pay check (my RO period tu tak kire), THATs a lot. Leh wat macam² tu and for Erwan, he's glad as he wants to get married with his girlfriend as soon as possible..

Hmm, wonder what I would do with that extra money???

*Suare hati yg sedo diri: You should start saving balik la, silly girl! Your account yang dulu simpan tu dah nearly nil ape???*


Oh ye.. yesterday when coming back from tuition, I noticed a lizard just right outta the car at my door.

It was looking at me intently as if asking me to drive slowly as it was hanging on to its dear life at my door. But then..

If there's something else I hate as much as I hate frogs, its lizards! Especially since an incident when I was a wee girl of 7 or 8. I had worn my favourite blue dress and Mama had asked me to take the trash out. As I closed the lid on the large bin outside our home, I looked down and saw a lizard clinging to my dress right on my chest looking up at me. I screamed all the way inside the house before throwing the dress of me..

I never wore that dress again..

But back to the present day.. when I arrived at home, I tried my best to knock from the inside of my car to try to shoo it away from the door. I didn't want it coming INSIDE the car, did I? But the lizard was as stubborn as Iskandar haha.. I had to climb outta my car through the passenger door and try to shoo the lizard away with a roll of paper.. very LONG roll of paper!

Aaaahhh, why can't those creatures leave me alone? :( <--Ayu sounds stupid here heheh..

And last but not least: I have a new housemate!!!

Not that I was looking anyway. Truth is, I had thought that I was better off staying alone. I'm sick of housemates who make me annoyed haha.. I never talked about it before coz they were still my housemates, but could you believe one of them taking away my precious potato peeler (those who know me, KNOW I'm a potato freak hehe..) and some knives.. and some forks and spoons.. aiyak! Tu pun nak amik ke? Sangat tak paham.. thats not to mention other missing things..

Thats why I wanted to stay alone. At least Mama or anyone in my family can come whenever they want to.. even Ikram or Iskandar can come spend the night if I'm staying alone. I had already converted the middle room into a guest room and was planning to convert the third room into my library. Besides, staying alone means I can go dancing butt naked throughout the house while putting the radio on full blast haha.. NOT that I do it laaaaa.. just to show how 'private' being alone could be.. I mean, I'd be free! Hahah.. I don't have to think of anyone besides ME, ME, ME! (Now I sound like Syuhada's blog hehe..)..

You see, having a housemate would mean having my privacy invaded hape..

Anyway, this girl is my junior but I just got to know her a few weeks ago as Dgon's friend. She told me she couldn't find a house and asked if I still wanted to find a housemate (I had asked around, at first, when my previous housemate left..). Seeing that she couldn't possibly find another house in the short period of time (she only had a few more days to stay in her previous house), I guess I just agreed. Besides, she looked decent enough :)

So I've had a housemate for almost a week now.. hmm, ok la! Just hope she thinks I'M ok too la hehe.. I'd hate it if she doesn't like me.. kan..


Yikes! I havent prayed yet!!!