Google+ Followers

Monday, December 31, 2007

Today

Today..

.. I'm gonna wallow DEEP into self-pity for everything that has happened!
.. I'm gonna go through each and everything that has hurt me especially in the past year!
.. I'm gonna let myself be mad at those I should've been mad ages ago!
.. I'm gonna list out all the useless things I've done!
.. I'm gonna let myself cry out all those tears I've tried to hide all this while!
.. then I'm gonna sleep off this fever I've been having the past few days!
.. and I'll wake up just to feel sorry for myself again, and as much as possible!
.. but just for today!

Why?

Because..
.. tomorrow is a new day!
.. tomorrow is a new month!
.. tomorrow is a new year!
.. and by tomorrow, I hope all of the above would leave me alone now so I'd be able to really take good care of all the good memories and special things that I once had, already and still have AND that I WILL have!

Its New Year's Eve everyone..

And a Happy New Year to all :)

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

..con't

"Ayu, jgn lupa tgk spice girls return ari ni, 7.30pm ntv7"

I got this sms from Ami in the wee hours of Monday but since Dgon was with me, it didn't register much with me, at first..

Then, when I got to school, Ami, my old and 'bestest' buddy, was online so we had a long talk about our lives and all that. with her, I always feel as if I'm 13 again. The giggling and whisperings don't make us look like 27-year-olds and I was reluctant to stop chatting with her at 5.30 but since I had promised to send Dgon along with her sister and brother to the bus station, I had to cut our 3-hour conversation short (short?).

Anyway, when I got back home, I realized I was about to iftar alone as my housemate was still at her hometown. I plonked myself in front of the tv after Maghrib prayers and begun to dig into my Zinger when I switched on the said program Ami had asked me to watch.

Since I was still quite engrossed in my burger, I didn't realize I was singing along with the Spice Girls hahah..

You see, on Monday I had written about my love for one of the first boy bands, BSB.. I guess I forgot to mention, I was also into girl power hehehe.. Those were the chart toppers during my schooling years and since I was still a teenager, of course I loved them and their bubblegum and candy cane tunes.

Spice Girls was actually Ami and Ezrin's fav group but somehow, they managed to rope me into the gazillion fans of Spice Girls. In fact, fyi, I have won Spice Girl contests 2 or 3 times. Mostly I won CDs. Once it was their Spice Up Your Life single and another time it was their full album (which I had sadly lost when I had moved from my old rented house to my current one). I also won their stickers and the so-called limited edition (It was ALSO sold in Sunshine.. duh!!! Limited edition la sangaaaaat!) Impulse body spray (2 cans, mind you!).

During this time, as president of the English Society, I was responsible in the Youth Quake (remember that paper from NST for teens?) subscription for the school, kununnye to help the students in their english. Well, we subscribed to Star or NST, compulsary for each class but which teenanger ACTUALLY reads those page to page? Okay², I actually read NST page to page at home, but that was the geek me! So, Youth Quake was our answer to that :) However, imagine my embarassment when almost the whole school, teachers included (we have a very small student body, around 600 students and 40 teachers only, if my mind serves me correctly!), noticed MY name in the Spice Girls contest results!!! Haha, my name is kinda unique so I can't pretend it was someone else AND I was the one responsible for the subscription. Oooohhh, sangat malu! A role model I turned out to be, huh hahaha..

Well, that was a 10-years-ago incident :) And I still smile when I remember how I avoided my teachers' (especially Mrs Phun, our society advisor AND my english teacher!) gaze for weeks!

And yes, I still find those old Spice Girls songs as one of my favourites.. proven when I could sing along to all songs (except their new single) in that show haha :)

So yeay! Go boy bands and girl power, huh!!! (Sheeshhh, now I'd rather be caught dead than admit THAT hahahahah..!)

Anyway, on a totally different note..

I got a Christmas present yesterday! Well, technically, its supposed to be my birthday (?) present.. a two-year-old birthday present hahah! Two years ago, my friend Long, wanted to give me a birthday present. He even told me he had bought this teddy bear for me but didn't now how to send it. I always told him it was ok, its the thought that counts but once in a while, he'd talk about the still-kept birthday present.

Last week, he told me his sister was in town so he'd give it to his sister. I had already forgotten about it and told him to forget it. Well, actually it was because I'm not really comfortable with people I don't know and I had NEVER talked to Long during my undergraduate years when we were still coursemates. He was in this group that I kinda avoided (not because they were bad or something, but mostly because I was a quiet and shy girl then <--okay, my new friends might NOT believe this hahah!) and towards our final year, they liked to tease me a bit with this guy in their group. So its only now that I sorta chat with him. But then, I still think I'd avoid meeting him (or the other guys in his group) coz somehow, with my old friends, I'm still a bit of the timid girl. Anyway, I also didn't want his sister to think that there was something going on between us (which Long told me she eventually did.. duh!!) so I didn't really want her to come here just to give me the gift.

Still, she came.. and I got my gift! A teddy bear which turned out to be a pretty light purple bracelet.. and I love it! Most of my new (READ: new=post-bachelors degree, old=pre-bachelors degree) friends know I love bracelets (thus resulting me getting thoughtful suprise gifts from them when its not my birthday like the one Remy gave me when he went for his second honeymoon -a bracelet I'm wearing right now!- and the silver princess-crown bracelet Ana gave me recently as well a this cute pink one given by Yun) but the old ones (except Dayah who always bought me bracelets whenever she went anywhere even during our undergraduate years) don't really know so I was kinda suprised.. but I love it! Mekasih Long :)

And ooohhh, forgot to tell you. I had also got a raya gift recently, from Farah. Heheh, she had gone to Padang Besar with her family recently and when she came back, she suprised me during my tuition class by giving me this three-chains-of-stone kinda bracelet. My students ooohh and aaahh at the shiny object since they were in class at that time.. and yes, I love this too! Thank you, Farah! :)

Mama said to me when I showed Farah's bracelet to her, "Suke beno your friends bagi gelang ye.."

And I told her, "Nak buat camne, my friends love me.. hahaha.." <--perasan gile!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Sedikit bosan..

Hmm.. nape la school kosong la plak arini? There's only me and Choong. Ooohh, the holiday blues makes things quiet around here.. Hmm..

Anyway, I recently checked my gmail account (which I really seldom check.. if the account could talk, I'm sure it'll tell me to make it feel a bit more useful than as the address for my PhD Comic feeds) and found an email from Aznor along with an attached MP3 file and lyrics. Feeling a bit confused, I scrolled down to read and smiled when I realized what it was.

A few weeks ago, I had gone blog-hopping (also an activity that I seldom do now especially during the, as Remy would put it, 'proses pemprofessoran') and had noticed these lyrics in her blog. Since the lyrics seemed so familiar, I had asked her about it and voila! Now I remember..

You see, me and Adi always laughed at Izati when she was obsessed with the Tomok-guy whom almost all adolescent girls wanted to marry light years ago. She pretended that she wasn't crazy bout him but her older sister and brother knew better and we would laugh at her whenever she tried her best not to look so excited whenever that Tomok-guy was on tv. However, her dear sister here is quite a hypocrite hahah..

And so, here I ashamedly admit that once upon a time ago in a far, far way land, I was crazy for the Backstreet Boys!

I must've bought all their albums (except their first, surprisingly!) right up until my final undergraduate year. The last album bought was Black & Blue or something to that effect.. and YES! I memorized ALL their songs heheh..

No wonder that song in Aznor blog seemed familiar heheh.. its one of the more memorable songs that I'm sure Un would also identify as she and Cik Wa were my allies in the BSB Mania (with Un being the leader heheh..)

And to Aznor: Thanx for reminding me how I was also a glaze-eyed I'll-support-you-to-the-end superfan of boy bands hehehe.. :p

How Did I Fall In Love With You


Remember when, we never needed each other
The best of friends like
Sister and Brother
We understood, we'd never be,
Alone

Those days are gone, and I want you so much
The night is long and I need your touch
Don't know what to say
I never meant to feel this way
Don't want to be
Alone tonight

chorus:
What can I do, to make mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

I hear your voice
And I start to tremble
Brings back the child that, I resemble
I cannot pretend, that we can still be friends
Don't want to be,
Alone tonight

chorus:
can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

Bridge:
Oh I want to say this right
And it has to be tonight
Just need you to know, oh yeah
I don't want to live this life
I don't want to say goodbye
With you I wanna spend
The rest of my life

chorus:
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this
did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
Everything's changed, we never knew
How did I fall, in love, with you?

Saturday, December 22, 2007

*Gasps* A milestone for Ayu

Call it boredom, call it growing up.. but today I just realized something BIG!

I mean.. HUGE!

I mean REALLY MASSIVE here!!

Today, I discovered that I won't die if I don't eat my chips with vinegar. In fact, it tastes quite good just on its own mm-mmm!

Gosh! I seriously didn't know that.. did you?

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Esok hari raye :)

Sheesshh.. if it wasn't for my class this afternoon, I'd be safely home right now. But as it is, I'm here in school with only the Iranians as company, while waiting for my class to start at 5.15pm. Lucky that I love that class of form 5 :) Besides, its not as if I have anything to look forward to anyway..

Met Dr Farhan otw up and he was suprised to see me still here.. I was itching to ask him the same thing hahah..



Right now, I'm looking at this plushie Izati bought for me, in the shape of a football. Yesterday abg Fadzil's came while I was cleaning up my cube and asked me, "Kenape Aman tak boleh tendang bola ni? Bola ni lembik sangat la.." Aiyaaaakkkk, its not for kicking la heheh.. Would have to be careful that Izati doesn't know about it, ngamuk la my lil' sis if she knows her present was about to be kicked around :D

God! I AM BORED!!! I wanted to talk about Sharil's yummy chocolate cake (that guy sure knows how to cook!) that he made for me again but right now I don't really have the mood for writing bout anything..

*sigh*

Raya blues, huh..

Well, have the best of raya for all of you.. till then, cheerio!!

P/S

For my cousin Nyah Zai: Bilenye tarikh tu? Bitau laaaaa.. leh wat pa pe ke.. *sambil² kutip berkat sepupu ku kawen duluuuuu :p*

Monday, December 17, 2007

Last Christmas

Hmm.. I'm here in this room listening to my favourite 'festival blues' song hahah.. I've been a great fan of this song eversince, what, I was 6? Huh, gile.. 21 tahun dah dengar lagu ni and still not tired of it, especially time² camni. Christmas je, mesti cari lagu ni heheh..

Bes²! I'm listening to this, and only this song from morning.. and I'm suspecting Choong ngan abg Fadzil dah menyampah asyik ulang lagu ni je heheh..

"My girl I thought you were, someone to rely on.. me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on lalalala.." Sape nak MP3, sile².. I'll be happy to send it to you guys heheh.. enjoy! (Again.. rasenye dah penah post entry pasal lagu ni last year and the year before hehehe..)


Last Christmas,
I gave you my heart
But the very next day,
You gave it away
This year,
to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas,
I gave you my heart
But the very next day,
You gave it away
This year,
to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye
Tell me baby do you recognise me?
Well it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me
(Happy Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I Love You" I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again

(CHORUS)(Oooh. Oooh Baby)

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice
My God I thought you were someone to rely on
Me?
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man undercover but you tore me apart
Oooh Oooh
Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again

(CHORUS)
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
(Gave you my heart)
A man undercover but you tore me apart
Next yearI'll give it to someone,
I'll give it to someone specialspecialsomeonesomeone
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special
who'll give me something in return
I'll give it to someone
hold my heart and watch it burn
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special
I've got you here to stay
I can love you for a day
I thought you were someone special
gave you my heart
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone
last christmas I gave you my heart
you gave it away
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Uwaaaaa

Uhh.. ade sedikit perasaan keciwe! Hehehe.. adeh! Nak wat camne, takde rezeki.. rase padan muke pun ade hehehe..

A few days ago.. silap, a few weeks ago, Remy ade tanye pasal Prison Break episode yang latest. Sbnrnye, I didn't actually know if I had the latest ke tak, sbbnye, w/pun Lie dah bg episode² yang dia ade, lum tgk pun lagi huhu..

I AM a fan of Prison Break tapi tatau la nape kali ni cam liat skit nak tgk, sbb gang dah takde kot :( Tpnye, sibuk gak cari episode² baru kat sumer org and when I get it, dah content, tak tgk lagi pun takpe.. Ingt bebile leh wat marathon tgk sumer..

Anyway, aritu la, Lie amik my portable hardisk and save Prison Break 1~7 sekali ngan a few episodes of CSI (also my fav tv show!) and Criminal Mind (jugak adelah my favourite!) and Gossip Girl (tak penah tgk but Lie assured me it was interesting). Sbnrnye the portable hardisk was for my PhD nye purposes tp dah dirasmikan sbg tmpt simpan my fav tv shows hahah.. So sonok la jugak sbb ade sume citer² tu, tp tak cadang nak tgk pun lagi..

Then baper ari pastu Remy mntk citer² yg bleh ditengok sbb dia boring so instead of sending the files to him, I just left my portable hardisk kat tmpt dia and totally forgot about it..

Until a few minutes ago!

Tetibe rase boring and ingt nak start tgk Prison Break dari 1st episode. Tp bile pegi tmpt Remy, tgk² my portable hardisk dah takde. Ingt Remy bwk balik hostel ke so trus sms dia tanye where it was.

After a few minutes, Remy replied saying he thought it was Dr Ismail's so he had given it to Choong. I wasn't worried at this point sbb knowing that when Choong bukak bende alah tu n perasan ade my fav tv shows, dia mesti tau tu bukan dr Mail punye.. But still, I text him asking about it..

Then Choong called..

Cautiously he told me, "Ayu, saya dah format la bende tu!!!"

Uwaaaaaaaaaaaa..

Upenye he had called Dr Mail and somehow Dr Mail must have forgotten but he claimed that that was his. Then, Choong still feeling a bit odd told him that there were tv shows in it and nothing else and Dr Mail told him, yes, he kept tv shows in his portable hardisk too..

We had a good laugh over it.. though I felt a bit.. what do you say.. lost! Hahah..

Padan muke Ayu.. sape suh tamau tgk awal².. kan dah miss sume trus! Ngan Prison Breaknye, CSI nye, Criminal Minds nye..

Uwaaa, Lieeeee, akak nak citer² tu baliiiiiiiiiikkkkk!!!!

Padan muke Ayu!

Pengajaran: Len kali bile org bg tu, tgk cepat².. jgn dok simpan²!

Nasib²

Friday, December 07, 2007

Heheh..

Pagi tadi otw nak gi sch, singgah la kat kedai dekat ngan umah tu for my daily fix of Nescafe Latte dlm tin tu (Ohhhh, Ayu suda ketagih semuleeee!!) Then mase nak kuar kete, terperasan la 2 org budak dlm lebey kurang 7~8 tahun tengah baik je pakatnye, tunduk² sambil pilih chocolate kat kedai tu..

Somehow, something struck me as odd..

Pastu baru pasan, 2-2 budak tu pakai kain pelikat and trus senyum sorang² sbb dapat agak dah, mesti budak² ni baru dapat green light utk kuar umah pas berkhatan. Chumel je tgk memasing pakai kain pelikat sambil suke pilih chocolate :)

Tingat mase Iwan, Adi n Ikram bersunat dulu. Adeh! Me as the one and only kakak they have, terpakse menurut perintah. Temankan diorg la ape la, terpakse miss tgk tv. Dah le diorg gume my room (my room je leh muat 3 tmpt tido, bilik diorg penuh!). Uhhhh, sgt 'tersekse' mase tu, asyik "Kak Yong nak tuuuu" or "Kak Yong nak niiii" hehe.. tp jugek sangat kelakar heheh..

Ikram paling penakut, ubat ape sume tanak makan and sanggup tahan nak weewee sbb takut sakit. Gile tul, pas 3 hari dia tak tahan sgt baru dia nak gi toilet pastu bile dia weewee lame sgt, panik dia panggil Abah sbb dia takut toilet bowl penuh ngan dia punye pee hahah..

Mase diorg baru balik klinik tu, beze je 3-3 org. Iwan masuk umah ngan chatterboxnye, mcm bersuant tu bende dia wat tiap² hari. Adi plak masuk umah dengan wat brave face. Senyum tu terplaster kat muke dia tapi dia tak mo cakap ape pun. Ikram la paling bes, whimpering je panggil Mama. Then bile Abah cakap, "Nape panggil Mama je, Abah kan ade..", dia tuko plak whimpering panggil Abah hahah..

Tapi mase tu mmg dengki la. Diorg dpt byk duit.. uhhh, tak aci! Dah le terpakse jadik nurse melayan diorg, sabo je le..

Mase Iskandar nye turn plak, dia sorg je.. tp sekali ngan our neighbour, Akram. Mase diorg ni bes, sbb student USM nak buat majlis berkhatan. Malam tu diorg sumer (ade dlm 20 org kot) 'bersanding' kat Desa Bakti. Then dapat kain pelikat sorg satu ngan duit and diorg dpt makan bes.

Esoknye, diorg duk kat court Desa Bakti and org bomba datang mandikan diorg gune the fire engine.. Uhhh, kak Yong dia terase nak join sekali heheh :) Then budak² ni kene dukung sampai Pusat Kesihatan and amik giliran nak berkhatan. Akram la kesian, dia takde kakak so dia datang la pegang my hand sebab dia takut. Sembg² ngan dia tamau bg dia takut (sbbnye Iskandar cam tak takut je time ni) pastu Akram nak pujuk diri dia sendiri, dia trus comment, "Kak Yong nnt bile nak bersalin nnt laaaaagi sakit dari Akram kan?" Adeh.. ke situ plak budak ni..

Iskandar nye turn, kitorg relax je sbb dia cam tak takut. tp tetibe dengar org menjerit dalam bilik Dr.. Huhu, upenye Iskandar la paling byk drama. Abah kene pegang kaki dia sumer and dia jerit tak berenti hahahaha.. padehal Dr tak start ape pun lagi.. Ohhh Iskandar, sungguh memalukan heheh..

Senyum sensorg plak bile teringatkan diorg ni.. sekarang memasing dah beso ngan perangai memasing. Kadang² rindu gak ngan diorg yg kecik, tp nak wat camne, sumer org membesar kan..

*sigh*

Erkk.. nape Ayu tulis dalam BM ye? Hahaha..

Tattoo..

I luuuurrrvvvvvee this song ;)


oh oh oh
No matter what you say about love
I keep coming back for more
Keep my hand in the fire
Sooner or later I get what I’m asking for

No matter what you say about life
I learn every time I bleed
The truth is a stranger
Soul is in danger
I gotta let my spirit be free
To admit that I’m wrong and then change my mind
Sorry but I have to move on and leave you behind

I can’t waste time so give it a moment
I realized nothings broken
No need to worry about everything I’ve done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don’t look back got a new direction
I loved you once needed protection
You’re still a part of everything I do
You’re on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo
I’ll always have you (I'll always have you)

Sick of playing all of these games
It’s not about taking sides
When I looked in the mirror
Didn’t deliver
It hurt enough to think that I could
Stop
Admit that I’m wrong and then change my mind
Sorry but I’ve gotta be strong and leave you behind

I can’t waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothings broken
No need to worry about everything I’ve done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don’t look back got a new direction
I loved you once needed protection
You’re still a part of everything I do
You’re on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo
I’ll always have you (I'll always have you)

If I live every moment
Won’t change any moment
Still a part of me in you
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything I do, oh

I can’t waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothings broken (yeah)
No need to worry about everything I’ve done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don’t look back got a new direction (don't look back)
I loved you once needed protection (no, no)
You’re still a part of everything I do
You’re on my heart just like a tattoo

I can’t waste time so give it a moment (i can't waste time)
I realized nothings broken
No need to worry about everything I’ve done (no need to worry)
Live every second like it was my last one
Don’t look back got a new direction (don't you ever look back)
I loved you once needed protection
You’re still a part of everything I do
You’re on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo
I’ll always have you