Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I got to know her a few years ago, around March 2003, I think. At that time, was a bit reluctant to meet anyone. My family was going through the rough patch that suprised all of us and I was upset everyday. I felt as if I was blamed by both sides, just because I refused to tell them whose side I was on.. when I really didn't wanna choose sides :( Both of them were mad at me and I was just so confused on what was happening.
Thats why I wasn't in a make-new-friends kinda mood. But because of him, I went and met her..
At first, I was in my usual 'Oh-no-look-what-I've-got-on' mode I'm always in when I meet new people. But as we had dinner and talked (or rather they talked while sy control nak makan depan org haha..), I started to relax a bit.
But what made my hardened heart then melt a bit was when, as we were heading back to the campus, she hugged me.. I felt tears prick at my eyes, even as I tried to blink them away. Suddenly, nothing else mattered except a loving gesture was bestowed upon me.
I remember blushing when he told me how she felt about me, while trying to change the topic as I suddenly felt a bit shy about it.. and as time went by, I began to get to know her bit by bit and to recognize the heart that was filled with so much love even when it had lost a bright star forever.. her only daughter.
Somehow, the knowledge that her birthday was just two days before me also made me happy during that rough time in my life..
Then, suddenly another thing happened, and I was lost.. I didn't have anywhere to turn to, even to the two important people in my life, as they themselves were still blaming me for something that happened between them saying I didn't make the effort to make the other one understand their situation. I started hating mornings where I knew I'd be facing a day filled with my head going all sorts of places.. and I also hated nights where I knew I faced nightmares.
I couldn't turn to her, as I was so sure she'd be on her son's side and I couldn't tell my friends as I've always been secretive anyway so I started drifting farther and farther away..
Until one day.. kak Ana took me aside, looked me in the face and told me she had called kak Ana asking about me. She was concerned about me, and pak cik was also worried. They asked kak Ana to look after me, try cheer me up and make me happy..
I was suprised! I thought they'd hate me too.. blame me too for the other thing that had happened. Though I hold no illusions that they were on my side and blamed their son, I was touched by what they did and though that didn't instantly jolt me into reality, I slowly woke up from the dreamlike state I had been in for God knows how long.
Then one day, she called me. She never asked me what happened, but she asked me how I was. I almost cried but managed to compose myself as I was out to dinner with my housemates. Then pak cik asked to talk to me too.. and never once did they say they blamed me. They were just concerned about me, hearing from kak Ana on how much a bad shape I was in after it happened.
After that, I got closer so her. Sometimes I'd be the one to call her and sometimes she would call me. At first she kept trying to talk about what her son was currently doing, but I guess she realized how much it hurt me as I kept changing the subject, so she stopped doing that, Instead we talked about other things, and I enjoyed those conversations.
Then one day, more than three years after it had happened, the news I dreaded arrived. I was just returning a very 'belated' call to her when she told me they were getting ready for the 'kenduri' and there and then my heart dropped. I didn't have to ask whose but I still pretended to not know. Apparantly he couldn't tell me himself and asked her to tell me about it.. and the heart I thought could never be more shattered than it already was, broke into a million pieces again. The whole postgrad room knew I crying so hard even when I was so sure I had made the littlest noise possible but I couldn't head back home yet as I was in such a mess. I just remember pretending that my battery was low and promised to call her later..
For a long time after that, I didn't call.. and she too was silent. But one day, she called. By then, I was a bit okay but we NEVER spoke his name again.. once again, she and pak cik were worried about me and once again I assured them I was okay..
Now and then, we still talk to each other, with pak cik in the background :) Now and then, they ask me if I've met anyone to which I would always laugh. I realize, though the initial connection I had with them is now severed, I'll always have them in my life. I thank Allah for giving me the oppurtunity to meet them, to love them and to be close to them..
They are my 'family' and just like my other relatives which I can't choose (hahah..), they will always be in my doa..
Happy birthday, mak cik! :)
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Hmm, I think I'm gonna hafta swallow my words..
Yesterday, since I was too lazy to make something on the stove, I decided to do that salad thingey I did last week.. you know, the one with the baked cheese? The differance this time was that I used the whole head of those corally leafy thingeys.. as a result, I got this huge bowl of salad that I was sure could last me until dinner.. added with something else heavy that is!
So I sat in front of the tv, taking a quarter of the portion I had prepared (ni berlakon je ni, I knew a quarter portion won't be enough pun, tu sbb I bought the whole salad bowl sekali depan tv pun hehe..) and munching on the greens. Mind you, this was around 11am. And true to what I had said, greens don't make you feel full.. as the next thing I knew, I HAD FINISHED THE WHOLE BOWL.. and this coming from a girl who hates greens!
Then know what.. I didn't need to eat anything ELSE right until this morning!! I, of all people was suprised coz like I said earlier, these things don't make you full.. and my day was actually full of activity right after Zohor where I had two classes, Maths F5 in Jawi 2.15 to 4.15 and Maths F5 in Bagan Serai 5.15-6.45 AND Maths F2 8.15-10.15pm.. and I wasn't hungry, even a bit!
Wow! I was wrong!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Tp ini adelah marathon yg sy sgt suke buat.. movie marathon! :D
Monday, March 16, 2009
Now this is picture I enjoyed. It was during my first year but all of these girls are actually my dormates in KMK. They came to my house for a BBQ during convo that year and we slept in the living area, more than 10 of us. Giggling and laughing like the teenage girls we were then. I love it then, I really enjoyed that night :) In the front there with the 'victory' finger is my dorm captain whom until now, I still call DC
And what would talking about 'canoeing every afternoon' be without some 'proof' heheh.. We loved doing this together.. but I'm not sure if I remember how to kayak now.. Hmm..
Now, this bunch of girls are some of my coursemates through out my 3 years here. This was during the Aidilfitri celebration in our final year..
P/S to Jida: Ingat tak gambo ni? Heheh.. skrg belakang tu dah HIJAU! :p To others, this is Jida, someone who's saved me from a lot of trouble, someone whom I can 'kacau' when she wakes up late, then make her get up even later by talking non-stop with hehe..
Once we finished our degree, most of my coursemates got job so not much wanted to stay and pursue higher education. But I got to know these girls from TI who came to our campus since their school was 'relocated' in our campus. From left: Me, Aina and Zaiza
Now, these are my buddies.. my girlfriends who make me smile and laugh every single day :) Up there are Ad, Irnis, Farah and kak Win
This one's for the girls
This is for all you girls about twenty-five
Yeah, we're all the same inside (same inside)
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Monday, March 09, 2009
*masih gelak lagikk!*
Upload your favourite picture of you...
Why do like that picture?
When is your last time you ate pizza?
The last song you listened to..
What are you doing right now beside this?
What name do you prefer besides yours?
People I Tag
Who is number one?
Number three is having relationship with?
Say something about number five?
2.Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
3.What happened at 10am today?
4.When did you last cry?
7.What's your favourite thing to do on the bed?
8.Do you tend to make the relationship complicated?
10.What was the last movie you caught?
14.Who did you talk on the phone last night?
15. 4 people that I tag are
Oittt Mael.. kate 16, why are there only 14 questions?! Hehe..
This tag is to get everyone to read the list below carefully and identify which products affects your life and the lives of the Palestinians most! You can also compare your list with your friends and see: if they can boycott one product that you haven't been boycotting, why can't you start to boycott the product too?
5 products I'm boycotting
5 products that I find hard to boycott
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Friday, March 06, 2009
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Well, I also had another type of book that I collected. Remember those 'skim membaca' books sold in school book stores? The ones sold for RM1.90 each? Translated children mystery books by Enid Blyton, the Nancy Drew series and the Hardy Boys series? Those were also books I hunted down, even my brothers (whom I think really seldom read books) loved to buy those books. Giler murah and soooo many titles..
Anyway, for a while, those were the only books I looked for.. that was until Firdaus came into my class in standard 3.
I actually kinda despised him at first haha.. on our first english test, he got the highest marks, surpassing me and Soraya who were usually the top scorers for this subject. Guess it was more of jealousy then. Anyway, me and a few friends (Soraya, Adam and Alfy mostly) liked to talk about books and Firdaus somehow tried to give his piece of mind on books too but mostly I ignored him.. jelous kan haha..
Then one day, he bought The BFG to school. He sorta forced me to read it, hinting it was a 'buku budak besar' when compared to Enid Blyton. It was the first time I heard of Roald Dahl and though at first I didn't wanna listen to him, his remark on me reading childish books made me step up to the challenge of a new author..
..and I was impressed!
Not that I'm saying he's better than Enid Blyton (In fact, I still love reading Enid Blyton books every now and then hehe.. seriuosly, I love her! My very first favourite author..), but he was another great story teller in a different way than Enid Blyton.
I finished the book that very night (and read it again the next morning) and haughtily gave back the book to Firdaus the next day while pretending I didn't care much for the book. But when he asked me if I wanted to sample another of Roald Dahl's creation, I quickly agreed.. and he gave me The Witches (which was already in his bag.. adeh! He must've guessed I'd like the book)
So that started my love affair with Roald Dahl (though funnily enough, I NEVER got hold of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory!). But since Abah only allowed one book per book-shop-visit, I never chose his books and prefered collecting Enid Blyton's books (I remember me and Bibbi, on our birthdays we always knew what we'd get from each other: Enid Blyton books, of course!)
Well, I grew up and got to know other authors (I read Sidney Sheldon's The Other Side of Midnight when I was an innocent standard sixer.. and was terrified when I read the 'steamy scenes' in the book! Little did I know that was normal for adult books but I was afraid someone might say I was reading some porn material hahah..), bought other books aside from Enid Blyton and enjoyed them..
However, a few days ago while browsing in Popular for Stephen King's Rose Madder (Uwaaa, nape takde kat sini?), I came across a collection of Roald Dahl's books.. and they were at a bargain price of 3 book to the price of 2. I quickly searched for my fav 2, the two first Roald Dahl books I read. I was delighted to find Charlie and The Chocolate Factory in the set too and by the time I was queueing at the cashier, I had a total of 7 of his books..Hahah.. thats what you get when you deprive your childhood of your favourite books kot. Nice lot kan? And I'm a happy girl and don't care if anyone tells me I'm to old for these books :p
Oppss, to not let these books feel left out (as if..).. I also bought these books too :) Been wanting to own Digital Fortress for year now as I kinda like the book compared to Deception Point.. and Benjamin Button which I didn't get to watch..