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Monday, February 27, 2006

About a crush?

My status yesterday bought along many questions from some people. Those who knew it just laughed and told me to stop being so obvious haha.. What was my YM status anyway?

'MBC.. MBC.. MBC.. MBC.. MBC.. MBC.. MBC.. '

No wonder la hehe.. anyway, suddenly kak Zai asked me what MBC meant and I was so surprised (and embarrassed) that I told her a little white lie. Just a tiny one, saying I was teasing my friend. But I was truthful enough to tell her it meant MY BIG CRUSH though at first I said it meant Mat Bala Chandran :-) So to those who still dunno and think its an acronym of someone's name, there, I've told you what it really stands for.

So talking about crushes, she was trying to write a poem (sajak bodo are her exact words though I don't find it bodo) and I asked her to send me the poem once she finishes it. So here it is..

If fixation is a must
this obsession never last
It originates from the deficient of trust
and that seeking sweet feeling of a rush

there is no fine line between a harmless crush
And being a total maudlin foolish lass
But it must last
And indeed it must last
If one can see there is no point of the kind of crush

Or is it a mere test
the lass must able to pass
Control over the mushiness she must
Or can it be minimised and let be passed
nevertheless deal with it she must

When will the age be not twenty three
When will the age be not one three
When will the age finally reach its thirty
And when the age comes around finally

Ought she must to be thrifty
Behaves to the best of being thirty
Consider her responsibility
As lass soon will turn into a lady
Crush must last as she is approching fourty!

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Can't take my eyes off you..

Its just song I heard last night during dinner with the staff at Bkt Merah. This song has been playing on my mind (mind you, I DO love the oldies) and I've been wanting to sing it out loud eversince I heard it yesterday so when I came back home and was finally alone, haha, I sang it non-stop for quite a long time.

To those who somehow know what I mean, hahah, sekali sekala kaaaan, apa salahnya!

Can't Take My Eyes Off You Lyrics
by Frankie Valli

You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

Pardon the way that I stare.
There's nothing else to compare.
The sight of you leaves me weak.
There are no words left to speak,
But if you feel like I feel,
Please let me know that it's real.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

I love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To warm a lonely night.
I love you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby.
Let me love you.

You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

I love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To warm a lonely night.
I love you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay..
And let me love you, baby, let me love you..


Haha.. lets just say that God is humouring me now.. and I, in turn, am humouring my friends with my 'OMG sms' to everyone who received them last night :-)

P/S
My entry a few months ago for 'I've been tagged'

7 traits I look for in the opposite sex
1. Must be able to be an Imam for solah --> Yup, somehow I've noticed the differances between those who can and those who can't!


Go figure!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

A 'high' in my carrer as a tutor!

Nope.. I'm not 'high' on drugs la, if thats what's on your minds!

I just came back from my class in Jawi and I’m having one of my silly fits of smiling right up to my ears. I mean, I can’t help it, its one of those times when you’re glad you’ve been given a chance to teach someone, something new!

Where shall I start?

About 4 weeks ago, I received two new students. Both were male students and both were so shy, I couldn’t even hear them speaking. But one thing I noticed about them immediately was that they came for some ‘intense’ tutoring in maths and had very low confidence. However, one of them was the kind of student who’d bury his head in his book whenever I asked a question. He’d avoid any eye contact whenever I asked if they understood or not and this kinda’ frustrated me as I felt it so hard to reach out to him.

His behaviour continued like this for the next two classes and by then, I had somehow comforted myself that I had tried my best with him though I can’t really see any difference. You see, his other friend, though still a bit quiet didn’t hesitate when asking questions and has even started making eye contact with me.. but with him, I’m at total loss!

However, he surprised me in my class just now. As usual, whenever I start my class, I’d revise what we learnt the previous week. When I asked if they’d understood last weeks lesson, all of them nodded, including the boy.. though he seemed to be uncomfortable with the nodding.

When I was teaching them, he listened as usual but the surprise came when I gave them exercises to complete. To my surprise, the boy started asking me questions so I cheerfully answered him. However, it didn’t end there, in a matter of minutes he had finished his work and though there were still mistakes, he was smiling, instead of trying to hide his face and he was asking me about his mistakes.

Towards the end of the class, when I gave them new exercises, he was humming while doing his work. Instead of his usual frown, he had this smile on his face that made me wanna pat him on the back. And, I guess, to his own suprise, he was showing his other friend how to answer the questions as he had completed his own set of questions.. and they were all correct! He was especially pleased when the cleverest girl in class asked him to help her with one of the questions and it was obvious that THIS incident boost his confidence!

However, what touched me the most was when he told me, "Seronok nya bila saya boleh jawab sendiri kan, cikgu!" while giving me the most adorable smile ever and his 'thanks' at the end of the class was what had triggered this smile. Though he insisted that I had helped him, I hope one day he realizes that he HIMSELF had made it possible.. and I pray that he'll grow to love maths, instead of shrinking away from it!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Try la..

I got this from the net last week and only TODAY have I got the chance to post it here. Haha, I dunno about you guys, but it left me looking like a clown: waving my finger in the air while watching my feet and I was left giggling like a giddy kid.

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep trying it at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot. But you can't!!!

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

Your foot will change direction!!!I told you so... And there is nothing you can do about it.

I forwarded it to my friends through YM an within minutes I got replies from my friends who were also, sadly, looking just like me a few minutes earlier. Ina even told me that she eaned curious looks from her father after she tried it out while sensible (and I mean VERY sensible) Azral made me laugh when he admitted at wasting his precious minutes trying to outdo his foot. Ami as usual laughed out loud while telling me, "Tak boleh, memang tak boleh!" and I can't imagine how she laughed at her office, knowing how loud she is hehe.. sorry Ami!

Quite pissed-off!

I'm offally mad (British accent please!!)

And upset..

Most of you who know me will also know that I've been searching for housemates since November last year. My former housemates kak Kathy and kak Shima have moved to greener pastures (Kak Kathy got married-- lucky her! While kak Shima is now working in INTEL) so I was left all alone since December. While searching for housemates, I made sure that I made it clear of certain things.

I only wanted two housemates. 1 for each room.. I mean, c'mon la, we're not undergraduates anymore to lived cramped in one house and besides, I've been so used to this minimum number of housemates. Our house is at the junction of the road so a minimum number of cars is best and won't interfere with the traffic and I'M SURE I MADE IT CLEAR! Thats not to forget that the landlord also didn't want too many people in her house. I mean she's right, 'banyak sangat orang, banyak sangat ragam nye nanti!'

Two weeks ago, one of my housemates cheerfully came back and told me she'd already asked her friend to move in with us. I was shocked that she didn't consult with us first and just did what she wanted to do. Though I was a bit annoyed, I just kept my mouth shut and told her that we'd have a problem of parking (we already have two Kancils and one Atos and its already crowded! Tu keter kecik je tu..) since her friend uses a Wira or Iswara but she shrugged it off saying, Pandai² la kita nanti! Nak je cakap, yang kak **** pandai² ajak orang tu kenapa?

Another thing is, all of us go to work at nearly the same time so the bathroom is a place where 'first come, first serve' is applied, especially since we have only ONE bathroom (except if anybody WANTS to bathe in the toilet la, then only I'd count it as two!). Hey, we've had this problem before but me, kak Kathy and kak Shima have found ways to go round it. However, with the addition of these people, some of us are going to have to wake up EXTRA early just to use the bathroom and from the looks of it, some people are going to make sure THEY get bathroom privelleages since I'm already hearing excuses of having workplaces that are much more far away than ours. I mean, kalau ye pun, why can't it be that you guys are the ones who wake up early? Klau tak pun, "Go and find your own bloody place la!"

Since I didn't want to prolong the issue, I just kept quiet and somehow, nearly forgot about it. However, yesterday I was really upset. Once again she came cheerfully to me and told me that her friend had asked another friend to come stay with us and I sudenly felt so pissed-off, I wanted to say, "To the hell la all of you!"

Okay la, I'm being a bit harsh here!

She explained that since her friend was moving in, her friend's housemate didn't want to live alone and had decided to move in too. I was like, who the hell do you think you are to make decisions like that? I mean, you didn't even pay me for the deposite of the house and now you're acting as if you own the house, making decision WITHOUT consulting me or Elie! Mangkuk ayun yang bangang! <-- Sorry, but I'm not erasing those words!

My first reaction was to ask her, Ingat ni hostel ke? However, the konon² sensibile part of me just kept quiet while trying to hide my suprise and annoyance. Once she went out, I was already mutering words I don't normally use in everyday conversation and today, it seems my favourite word is, "BANGANG!"

I tried to sleep my temper away last night and avoided my housemate and her friend. However, waking up for Subuh this morning, my temper just rised even more when I saw about TEN BAGS (maybe I'm exaggerating!) cluttered in the laundry area. Thats not to mention an addition of dirty plates piled up in the sink and left on the table.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghh!

I'm losing my temper in a dangerous speed!

And to think that I accepted her because she was a friend of a close friend! Aaaaargghh, I should have accepted someone else (btw, three other people had wanted to move in with me, two who are my friends, but since this girl had asked first, I felt obliged to accept her.. besides, what would kak Ana say? However, I do feel she's taking advantage over the fact that I accepted her because of kak Ana..)

Btw, anyone interested in having TWO (or maybe THREE if the other girl comes) new housemates? I'll gladly give mine away..

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Tayar ku pancit..

I went to see Ikram just now. He seems to have adapted to his renewed life as a student and he looked happy when telling me about his classes and all that. I'm happy for him and I really hope he studies well. He even told me of his plan to continue for the second level and for that, I'm really thankful to God for making my brother realize how important education is.

After saying goodbye to him, I headed straight home to pray and watch tv before going to the pasar malam with my new housemate, kak Sufi. While waiting for kak Sufi to get ready, I waited outside the house. It was then that I noticed somthing wrong with my car and to my dismay, I realized that I had a punctured tyre. Frustnye! However, since I still wanted to go to the pasar malam, we went there first.

We walked to the pasar malam (and I saw MBC there pakai baju biru gak haha <--Ayu sudah gila!) and for a while I forgot about my flat tyre. However, the sight of my car when we came back reminded me of the tyre and it was then that I started calling around, asking for assistance. Help came in the form of my ex-housemate, kak Kathy and her husband!

Terharunya rasa when kak Kathy came in the middle of the rain eventhough I told her it was ok and it was raining! She promised to come that night once the rain had stopped and though I told her not to, she still came with Shidi. Dekat pukul 10 pulak tu.. Shidi helped to change the tyre (more like he did all the work la) and adviced me on my tyres semua tu lah. They went to fill my (also) flat spare tyre with air at Petronas before once again coming to my house to finish up the job. Kesian Shidi, sampai luka² tangan..

After the tyre was changed, they were ready to go home. It was already late so they declined the offer to have some tea and they jokingly asked me to belanja them whenever I was free.. to compensate thier time spent on me haha..

In a way, malu pun ada. Kacau a husband and wife tengah² malam just to change my tyre. But on the other hand, they made me realize that, though I've always felt alone (and I was a bit pissed-off with SOME people that night!) eversince kak Kathy and kak Shima moved, I'll always have them nearby and the friendship bond is still as strong as it was once upon a time ago. And hahah, I guess I'll always be the 'adik' of us all.. who's always stuck into trouble and seems to have a knack in attracting them :-)

To kak Kathy and Shidi, THANK YOU!

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Freebie!!

I have this routine: After lunch, me and my colleagues would go to the Kedai Mahasiswa (KM) for some tid-bits to take upstairs and to munch when we're sick of the computer haha..

So as usual, after eating some nasik lemuni (yummy!), me and kak sue went to KM for our daily dose of Bang Pek (nickname for the coverted Apek whose in charge of KM). Now, the two cashiers of KM are two sweet girls whom we've grown quite close too, since we frequently go there (tp, ape eh nama diorg? Sorang Shakirah.. yang sorang lagi tak tau pulak saya nama dia!).

Whenever I buy more than one item, I'll always claim that there's an offer. For example, if I buy a note book a bar of chocolate, I'll always say that there's an offer over there that states :Buy one note book, FREE a bar of chocolate! Err, something to that effect la kan.. We always laugh at my cheap way of joking (haha, bukan pandai buat lawak pun!) but I always make sure they know that I'm joking.

However, just now, while paying, I played my usual game of telling them that my chocolate was a free gift when suddenly Bang Pek boomed from behind the cashier, "Nak barang free ye?"

Note: Muka Bang Pek sangat garang!

Mak oiii.. terkejut teman! I suddenly felt embarrassed that Bang Pek had heard what I was joking about and I stammered while trying to explain that I was just joking. He looked at me straight in the eye and told me to wait there and I wanted the floor to swallow me up right there and then. I was already looking at kak Sue, mouthing the words, "Tolong la saya!" at her while she was also rooted on the spot.

When Bang Pek came back, I expected him to come with a broom or something (influenced by Lat's cartoons about chasing someone with batang penyapu!) but he came with a box and asked me who else had come with me. I quickly pointed to kak Sue and to my suprise, he gave us two bowls, saying that he had extra stock of these bowls for a purchase of apentah..

Whew!! Lega.. ingat nak kena marah dah tadi.. I thanked him and quickly walked out of KM, bursting with laughter once we were outta eyesight of Bang Pek!

Still, I resolve to NEVER joke about getting freebies again! Malu weihh..

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Untitled..

I'm beginning to get comfy with my rollercoaster emotions that have gone up (and down) a few (hundred) notches eversince I started my writing up. COMFY? Yup, comfy! Hahah, why comfy huh? Because I no longer feel alarmed whenever I realize I'm laughing one moment and crying the other one (as opposed to this suspicion of having a double-personality disorder, like I feared earlier haha!)

But along with that, I've noticed how much I've developed some bad habits. For example, I think (more like I'm sure) I'm having some kind of sleep disorder. I mean, eversince my school years, its always been hard for me to go back to sleep after Subuh prayers (complimentary of Abah who couldn't stand seeing us back in our beds once we've got up for Subuh!). Even while I was staying in Desa Lembaran, I used to take long walks around the campus after Subuh since my roomates almost certainly fell asleep after praying, leaving me all alone with nothing to do.

And though I've almost always stayed up late at night, eversince staying with kak Kathy and kak Shima, I've kinda disciplined myself to sleep early since they sleep early too and it'll seem funny to talk to myself after they've gone to bed! So my sleeping pattern for the past 3 years have been the same (sleep at 12.30am and waking up at 6.15am).

However, now I don't feel sleepy until nearly 4.00am in the morning. I shouldn't really be suprised as I spend my nights in the post-graduate room (sometimes till 3.00am) for my thesis. This leads to feeling sleepy after Subuh that 'forces' me to sleep and there has been more than one occasion where I wake up after 12.00pm. Tu tak masuk lagi masa untuk guling² atas katil lagi tu!

So yeah.. I'm a bit worried but I guess I have to put that worry on hold UNTIL I finally submit my thesis. A bit frustrating though, for example, last Friday I was supposed to meet my supervisor but until 5.00am, I couldn't sleep a wink, forcing me to drag myself outta my bed at nearly 6.50am for Subuh prayers and to get ready. I arrived at the school at 7.45am, wanting to quickly meet my supervisor then go back home BUT unfortunately, he forgot to inform me he was GOING TO KL! And there I was, looking stupid waiting for someone who's NOT coming.. Pojie had to endure my moaning about it over our weekly nasik lemak, though! Hehe, sorry Bro..

Speaking about nasik lemak, my eating habits have also changed. And this really worries me as I don't want to have another 10kg added to my already 'abundant' weight! My breakfast time is already demolished la kan, since I wake up late sekarang ni, but I manage to squeeze in a hot cup of milo (konon leh ganti breakfast la tu..). Then I go to the school (if I go la..) and have lunch with Yun and Nasrin, tu pun kalau sempat. But if I don't, I'll be hunting for kuih after 3 o'clock and end up with A LOT of kuih or buns.

I also get hungry in the middle of the night and have quite a hard time trying to NOT think about being hungry. Then when I wake up the next morning, my tummy would growl as if it hasn't had any food for days, thus the milo haha..

Even my dinner has gone higgledy-piggledy! If I have time, I'd eat a lot, but if I'm rushing for my nightly tuition classes, I might skip dinner entirely. However, sometimes, after classes I'd go hunting for tosei masala (after 10.oo pm, mind you!) <-- very bad here!

*sigh* I guess I just hafta try my best to curb these habits from staying permanently with me, huh?

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Crazeeeee..!!

OMG! I did the unthinkable.. and now I dunno whether to scold myself, laugh at myself silly or to pretend nothing happened! But to tell you the truth, right now I'm laughing at myself for suprising even my ownself hehe..

What is it, you may ask (especially Sentot who just loves the expression, "Cita la kat saya! Cita la kat saya!" <-- no offense, Baizurah.. thats why I like telling things to you! You always give the right 'ooohhss' and 'aaaahhhhsss' at the right places *wink²*)?

Well, two words --> Not telling!!!

Heheh.. at least for now la :-p~

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Random thoughts..

My 'eldest' wisdom tooth is starting to bother me more than is has been doing the past weeks. Oh dear tooth, I feel as if my mouth is already too full with teeth so why should you wanna squeeze in too? And yeah, I'm sounding like an ungrateful brat coz I don't 'suffer' the same fate as my friends when their wisdom teeth were pushing its way out. I mean, most had fevers and couldn't eat for days but for me, it was a breeze (except for now la, obviously!) <-- better bear with it as no one would wanna 'entertain' my whining (especially those who 'suffered'!)

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I had quite a chat with my brother just now.. and well, it got me thinking! At least my mind was off my tooth for a few minutes. He was going out with his girlfriend when, wonders of wonders, he met a 'girl form his past' at the same restaurant they were eating.

Well, obviously, she was more than just a 'girl from the past' and I guess it won't be too much to say that this girl was his first love (?) Err, betoi ka? I dunno, but though he said he felt 'ok', I'm sure the encounter stirred a whole cauldron (Harry Potter influence here!) of memories that were not only painful, but that could also bring a smile on his face.

Anyway, like he said, "luka lama berdarah kembali" <--Haha.. Okay la bro, I'm not laughing at you lah! Its really true when they say, the first love (cut) is the deepest. Though it might have happened during the school years (or even through out it!), and might have started from innocent puppy love but still, its the one that you remember the most. My other brother had the same girlfriend from standard 4 through form 5 and a couple of years after that. Like I said, it started as puppy love but developed to be more than that. When they broke up, my family was more on the girl's side instead of on my brothers side haha..

But during the last couple of weeks, while having heart-to-heart discussions with him, I started to respect their childish love affair that started 14 years ago. During that time, I always laughed (not unkindly la..) at them but now, I realize how great the impact of their friendship was to each other. Through those hard adolescent years, they supported each oher and though they are not on speaking terms anymore (my brother's fault!), they still find ways to get information of each other.

As I said, it got me thinking.. haha, yeah, it sure did! I wonder what would happen if one day I accidently meet IM? How would he react, and what should I do? 15 years from now, would I still feel the pain of it all (like my brother), or would I laugh at the memory of it? Now I no longer mope around thinking of what would have happened, but that doesn't mean that I've forgotten all about it.. There are times when I'd rather hope I never met him at all. So yeah, whats it gonna be like in those years to come?

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I was sleeping, and dreaming, mind you! I haven't had a dream since I-cant-remember and it was so pleasant to finally have a dream when my phone rang! Glancing at the name before picking it up, I noticed the familiar nick name of a junior whose been outta touch for the past year.

Still half asleep, I answered and was suddenly wide awake when I heard his cheerful voice asking about me at the end of the line. We exchanged the usual pleasantries while my mind was wondering, what on earth was his reason in calling me so early in the morning? But remembering how 'slumber' he was, I guess he was just being his usual self.

Then he started talking about his girlfriend (they just had a fight) and how he misses the time in USM.. Ahah! So this is it la.. Me, being he usual 'kakak' I've always been, just listened to him and gave in my two cent worth whenever he asked my opinion. In the end, we said goodbye with the empty promises to keep in touch everyday.

As I tried to go back to sleep, I remembered this blog I read recently.

you know babe, i had a talk about this with my friends. it is like, don't you have some nights when you feel desperately lonely and you scroll down the lists of numbers on the phone but don't tell anyone about it?

When I think about it, this quite sums it up, huh? Maybe not all of us have really done it, but we've been close to doing it. I sometimes find myself scrolling down my address book late at night (nope, I don't call la, most of my friends are married!), while going thru all the names. Once or twice, I'd smile, remembering a story or two about any names that pop up from the screen.

Like this junior, from the way he talked about his undergraduate years, I sensed a hint of loneliness. Well, who can blame him, those years were the best. No big responsibilities except to study! Though it might not be true, but I suddenly had this image of him doing just what that blog had said and maybe when he came to my name, he had this urge to call me..

I guess the Lonely Bug DOES get to us once in a while.. but as long as we have friends, maybe it'll be ok!

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I bought a magazine yesterday and this article caught my mind. It was about 'blogs' being the reason for some people to get fired!

As a blog addict myself, I wondered what the article was implying and to my suprise, I found out that actually, some blogs have resulted in the owners being fired by their respective companies.

Well, maybe I'm the ignorant one but I can't really understand why is it that this girl was fired after she took a picture of herself in an empty airplane, when she was off duty. Okay, she's an air stewardess but the picture wasn't even a little bit undecent. The other blog highlighted in this article about this person who was unhappy with her work situation, but when the 'people from above' found out about her blog, she was fired!

Mende ahh..

Its her blog la, she's entitled to say whatever she wants to and I don't think she'd be stupid enough to put in some names apa? Tak tau la pulak klau dia bubuh but logically, she wouldn't, right?

Hmm.. makes me wonder, is my blog content considered 'okay'?