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Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Random thoughts..

My 'eldest' wisdom tooth is starting to bother me more than is has been doing the past weeks. Oh dear tooth, I feel as if my mouth is already too full with teeth so why should you wanna squeeze in too? And yeah, I'm sounding like an ungrateful brat coz I don't 'suffer' the same fate as my friends when their wisdom teeth were pushing its way out. I mean, most had fevers and couldn't eat for days but for me, it was a breeze (except for now la, obviously!) <-- better bear with it as no one would wanna 'entertain' my whining (especially those who 'suffered'!)

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I had quite a chat with my brother just now.. and well, it got me thinking! At least my mind was off my tooth for a few minutes. He was going out with his girlfriend when, wonders of wonders, he met a 'girl form his past' at the same restaurant they were eating.

Well, obviously, she was more than just a 'girl from the past' and I guess it won't be too much to say that this girl was his first love (?) Err, betoi ka? I dunno, but though he said he felt 'ok', I'm sure the encounter stirred a whole cauldron (Harry Potter influence here!) of memories that were not only painful, but that could also bring a smile on his face.

Anyway, like he said, "luka lama berdarah kembali" <--Haha.. Okay la bro, I'm not laughing at you lah! Its really true when they say, the first love (cut) is the deepest. Though it might have happened during the school years (or even through out it!), and might have started from innocent puppy love but still, its the one that you remember the most. My other brother had the same girlfriend from standard 4 through form 5 and a couple of years after that. Like I said, it started as puppy love but developed to be more than that. When they broke up, my family was more on the girl's side instead of on my brothers side haha..

But during the last couple of weeks, while having heart-to-heart discussions with him, I started to respect their childish love affair that started 14 years ago. During that time, I always laughed (not unkindly la..) at them but now, I realize how great the impact of their friendship was to each other. Through those hard adolescent years, they supported each oher and though they are not on speaking terms anymore (my brother's fault!), they still find ways to get information of each other.

As I said, it got me thinking.. haha, yeah, it sure did! I wonder what would happen if one day I accidently meet IM? How would he react, and what should I do? 15 years from now, would I still feel the pain of it all (like my brother), or would I laugh at the memory of it? Now I no longer mope around thinking of what would have happened, but that doesn't mean that I've forgotten all about it.. There are times when I'd rather hope I never met him at all. So yeah, whats it gonna be like in those years to come?

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I was sleeping, and dreaming, mind you! I haven't had a dream since I-cant-remember and it was so pleasant to finally have a dream when my phone rang! Glancing at the name before picking it up, I noticed the familiar nick name of a junior whose been outta touch for the past year.

Still half asleep, I answered and was suddenly wide awake when I heard his cheerful voice asking about me at the end of the line. We exchanged the usual pleasantries while my mind was wondering, what on earth was his reason in calling me so early in the morning? But remembering how 'slumber' he was, I guess he was just being his usual self.

Then he started talking about his girlfriend (they just had a fight) and how he misses the time in USM.. Ahah! So this is it la.. Me, being he usual 'kakak' I've always been, just listened to him and gave in my two cent worth whenever he asked my opinion. In the end, we said goodbye with the empty promises to keep in touch everyday.

As I tried to go back to sleep, I remembered this blog I read recently.

you know babe, i had a talk about this with my friends. it is like, don't you have some nights when you feel desperately lonely and you scroll down the lists of numbers on the phone but don't tell anyone about it?

When I think about it, this quite sums it up, huh? Maybe not all of us have really done it, but we've been close to doing it. I sometimes find myself scrolling down my address book late at night (nope, I don't call la, most of my friends are married!), while going thru all the names. Once or twice, I'd smile, remembering a story or two about any names that pop up from the screen.

Like this junior, from the way he talked about his undergraduate years, I sensed a hint of loneliness. Well, who can blame him, those years were the best. No big responsibilities except to study! Though it might not be true, but I suddenly had this image of him doing just what that blog had said and maybe when he came to my name, he had this urge to call me..

I guess the Lonely Bug DOES get to us once in a while.. but as long as we have friends, maybe it'll be ok!

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I bought a magazine yesterday and this article caught my mind. It was about 'blogs' being the reason for some people to get fired!

As a blog addict myself, I wondered what the article was implying and to my suprise, I found out that actually, some blogs have resulted in the owners being fired by their respective companies.

Well, maybe I'm the ignorant one but I can't really understand why is it that this girl was fired after she took a picture of herself in an empty airplane, when she was off duty. Okay, she's an air stewardess but the picture wasn't even a little bit undecent. The other blog highlighted in this article about this person who was unhappy with her work situation, but when the 'people from above' found out about her blog, she was fired!

Mende ahh..

Its her blog la, she's entitled to say whatever she wants to and I don't think she'd be stupid enough to put in some names apa? Tak tau la pulak klau dia bubuh but logically, she wouldn't, right?

Hmm.. makes me wonder, is my blog content considered 'okay'?

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