Friday, December 30, 2005


I'm having some mixed feelings here..

Today, I have accomplished something I have never done throughout my 25 years here on earth. Drum roll please.. I became an emcee!

Yeah, big deal! Yup, I can hear most of you saying that. It might not be a big deal to you guys, but ts a WAY big deal for me! You see, I'm this timid mouse when it comes to public speaking and I'd find 1001 excuses to escape. But how was I to know that the senior facilitators at the programme I was involved in had noticed this and decided to give a little nudge to me.. or more like a sudden shove la hehe..

Ironically, the programme is about Communication and Public Speaking. Even before agreeing to be a facilitator, I had question Remy and Yun about how I'm supposed to help these students in this, when I myself am petrified of public speaking but they assured me that I'm just supposed to be a facilitator and just help the group I was assigned to.

So imagine my suprise when I was supposed to be emceeing the pulic speaking competition we held. I was shaking from head to foot but to prove to the cheeky senior facilitators (En Raffic and En. Sezali, who btw are VERY entertaining pak cik² heheh..) that I CAN do it, I put on a brave face and just.. well, just did it! And hey, I didn't do bad, did I?

Well, okay.. at first I DID stumble on my words. Even forgot to talk about the time limit. But once I got the hang of it, it wasn't really as scary as I thought it would be. And to be frank, I'm GLAD I did it.. I'm glad they tricked me into doing it and I owe a huuuuuuuge debt to the both of them.. terima kasih banyak-banyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkk tu!

Really, God must have been smiling when He sent me here haha.. yup, and I GET the joke here, goodnaturedly, I must add! At first I didn't want to go, knowing how my thesis would suffer with a two-day absence, but when Yun and Remy persisted, I finally agree. I mean, not all of you know my weaknesses when it comes to being a facilitator. I guess, to me, this is the only way I can contirbute to the community.

I also had another reason of not wanting to go. You see, this week is kak Shima's last week here and I wanted to spend as much time as possible with this housemate of mine. But knowing how sad I was, I also wanted to hide from her, fearing the tears that would surely fall whenever I think of staying with new housemates, after this. Its not that I don't like new housemates, its just that I've been so comfortable with kak Shima and kak Kathy, that I'm afraid I won't feel as happy when they're not here.. and yeah, I AM a crybaby anyway!

However, only God knows why at last I agreed to go with Yun and Remy and am I glad. I got to know other active facilitators who became our mentors and in the short span of two days, I must've learn a whole bunch of new things I never thought I'd understand. These are the people I really admire as their purpose in the programme is not the money, but the change they hope they can give to other people.. and I really hope we all did!

The first day, we had the icebreaking which took up most of our afternoon. Then I rushed back home to help kak Shima make some coleslaw and turn some leftover salad into.. well, something edible haha! But somehow, all the while, I tried to push away the nagging feeling that this was the last night kak Shima would be my housemate, and I'm missing her final night here. I might have succeeded in doing it, or maybe not since I realized that I was trying my hardest to concentrate on shredding the veggies and figuring out what kind of dip should I make to go with the lettuce someone had mistakenly bought.

That night, we went back to the programme that continued to the next day, which included the 'Lets trick Ayu into being the emcee' thingey. I knew that they had been wanting to ask me to try it out from the very first conversation we had and I thought I had 'expertly' avoided it, forgetting how much more experienced they really are. But hey, I DID it, didn't I.. and really glad I stepped up to the challenge!

I was still basking in the GLORY of being able to do something I never dreamed I would and was already planning of telling this to my housemates. The smile was still on my face when I arrived home but..

I noticed kak Shima's things arranged in the hall.. and her room was already empty. With a heavy heart, I went to my room and found a red parcel there that was a gift from her. Along with the gift was a card, handwritten by her..

..and that's when the hot tears started burning, and with it the realization that everythings already changed.. all that I know is, I already miss my two housemates.. VERY much!

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

You're beautiful.. err, tak jugak, more like 'attractive' haha..

Since I like odd numbers, lets make it the fifth consecutive entry (day) in a row..

After taking a little jog around the campus (Yup! I'm jogging now hehe..), I was ready to go home to take a shower before coming back to school to finish up my work. Noticing that the gas tank was nearly empty, I headed straight to the petrol kiosk with RM50 in my hand (Hah!! The cost of petrol these days..). Turning on the radio, the song You're Beautiful came on air and I was singing along, as usual lah kan. Then outta no where, I saw MBC driving on the opposite lane haha.. talk about how appropriate the song is!

After that, I went to have dinner with kak Shima and Yun and the TV was showing a snippet of Malaysia's Most Beautiful where once again, this song was played. So now, I have this song replaying on my mind and I'm hoping that in pasting the lyrics here, I'd be able to drive the tune right outta my head..


You're Beautiful – James Blunt

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,'
Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Flying high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.

But it's time to face the truth,I will never be with you.

My friend, Mak su told me I've got it bad and encouraged me to 'go for it'! Haha, tak dak la Mak Su, saja suka² ja..

Monday, December 26, 2005

Love is blind.. so should we open its eyes?


Another entry for the forth consecutive day. I'm really getting into trouble here and if my thesis could speak, it'll scream bloody murder to me haha..


I've been thinking.. sape yang nak kate, "Oh! You mean she can think?", my reply to you is, "Haha.. very 'cute'!" I'm trying to be serious here (haha, now I feel like laughing out loud!!)

Hmm.. how should I start? A few days ago, a friend of mine came here. Lets call her C. As usual, when old friends come, we'd be talking about each others lives and so on and so forth. It so happened that my friend now has found her 'soulmate' (I'll call him K) and is very happy. She confided in me that he is THE one and I'm happy for her and pray that 'ada jodoh' for the both of them.

There's also another friend, X. The three of us were having a good time talking and laughing with each other. However, when C was about to go back, X teased her about her boyfriend and instantly she was defensive while playfully warning X not to tease her like that again. To me, thats normal. I mean, sapa nak orang kacau boyfriend/husband dia, betul tak? However, X had a different view.

Just now, we went to a kenduri. Me, X and another friend plus her husband. On the way to the kenduri, we were looking at their recent wedding photos and I was teasing them when the husband said to me,"Cuba tengok gambar K and Ayu!" My friend (his wife) and I scolded him for mispronouncing C's name and using my name. "Nanti marah pulak C nanti", we said. However, I was suprised when X spoke up and said, "C tu jelous tak kena tempat la!", and proceeded to talk a bit about what happened a few days before.. a bit je la but still, I was suprised!

Why, you might ask!

Well, first and foremost, I don't think X has the right to say that, even if it was just a passing remark (she always say things like this even if she doesn't mean any harm but in this case, I don't really like it!). I mean, if there's anyone out there who somehow doesn't deserve some respect in this 'situation', sad to admit, but its her!

X is a good friend, great one even but there's something about her which I really hate. She has this somewhat 'affair' with a married man! What makes me mad about it is that she knows its wrong but still she continues doing it eventhough a lot, and believe me I really mean it when I say 'a lot', of people have been advising her about it. I mean, who's she to say, "Jelous tak bertempat" when she's the kind who makes people feel that way. To me, she doesn't have respect to the other peoples 'belongings' so she shouldn't be suprised when people act defensive.. benda tu normal la especially bila defending hak sendiri. Bukannya defending hak orang lain yang diri sendiri nak pun!!!

To be frank, I don't think this is LOVE! Because love means knowing when to let go. Knowing not to be selfish and to respect other peoples rights. Not to argue,"Hati bini dia je ke yang aku kene pikir, hati aku?" <-- This is pure selfishness that I just couldn't accept!

Its not that I haven't talked to her. The first time I argued about this with her, she avoided me for a month.. and I didn't even raise my voice to her, hoping it'll somehow get 'through' her. I might as well talk to a brick wall! After that, whenever I bring up the issue, she'd be arguing ntahapahapantah with me. Susah cakap dengan orang yang pandai bercakap ni.

For example, a couple of days ago, I asked her if she ever felt guilty for doing this and she just laughed. I reminded her that one day 'awak kene mintak maaf kat isteri dia sendiri, dosa sesama manusia kan kene minta maaf sendiri.. dah bersedia ke?'

Know what she said? "Oh, time ni, nampak la salah aku! Yang kite mengata orang tu tak fikir berapa orang kite kene mintak maaf? Tu lagi ramai yang kite nak kene mintak maaf, lagi susah!" Lailahailallah! I wanted to strangle her! I told her, 'itu dosa yang SEMUA orang buat, SEMUA orang pun mengata and SEMUA orang pun minta maaf bila ada peluang.. tapi ini dosa yang sedikit 'luar biasa'.. tak semua orang sanggup nak buat camni kat orang lain'

Her answer,"Mengata orang tu tak salah la ye?"

Mangkuk ayun!!! (Kan dah kene mangkuk ayun<-- perkataan yang sangat jarang saya guna!) Just look at how she avoids the issue, making me feel berdosa because it was as if I belittled the sin of 'mengumpat orang'! She always does this and since I'm not good in arguing, I always just keep quiet after that.. and I hate being weak like that!!

Really, I wish I could open her eyes to how ugly she is to the eyes of many people.. and ugly here isn't physical ugly! I know some people who don't trust her and who really hate her guts to the point of not wanting to have anything to do with her. Some even don't want to take notice, saying that if she wants to dig her own grave, then be it. And others, sadly, hope that one day she'd get a taste of her own medicine, naudzubillah! But can we blame them? Once, I asked a friend to 'cari someone for X' but he said to me, "Tak nak aku cari orang untuk dia, nanti kesian kat kawan aku tu pulak kalau aku kenenkan (read: matchmake) dengan dia!"

I mean, none of this has directly happened to me but somehow, I understand the feeling of betrayal Mama felt when Abah admitted to his second marriage. The same goes for my friend C who's father also had another wife so its easily understandable if she acts defensive, even though in my eyes, tak dak la over defensive pun, biasa macam orang lain gak je.

How can I shake some sense into her? What does it take to make her realize that she's hurting this guys wife and son, eventhough they might not know anything? Laki tu pun sama tak guna!!

I hate being such a coward to confront her again about this issue but I get too speechless whenever she starts her ntahapahapa arguing and that is just a sign of victory for her! Sometimes her comments also hurt me, really hurt me, when she indicates that I'm jealous of her because, unlike me, 'ada gak orang yang sayang kat aku'. Sayang? Boleh belah la.. macam bangang je 'sayang' camni! I mean, she should be cautious that, if he can do it to his wife, he can also do it to her, betoi dak? She should at least have thought of this (eventhough it sounds selfish!) but benda ni pun dia tak nampak!

Sometimes I really hate it when she talks about this guy and how she plans to meet him sneakily behind the wifes back. I especially hated it when she said she still wants him, no matter what. I really hate her when she does this but all that aside, she's a great friend! God, help me!!

I dunno, maybe I think too much about things that don't concern me. Maybe I should just let it be. Maybe I don't want this happening to me. Whatever it is, I hope one day she realizes what she's done and REALLY regrets it. Its not a nice thing to do, and it might backfire towards her one day so before anything really bad happens, I pray that she realizes what has she done and leaves it ALL behind!


Sunday, December 25, 2005


Case 1
Saw MBC on the way to school, but somehow, it didn't bring the usual smile to my face (okay, maybe it made me look twice la.. but thats it!). Not even a twitch, more like, "Oh! You again!"

Case 2
Was staring at my thesis, knowing I HAVE to show SOMETHING for my fourth chapter (Data and Analysis) to my superviser on Wednesday but was overcome with this feeling of indifferance. It seems like I've lost the feeling of, "Mati la saya, keje tak siap lagi tapi Dr nak tengok!"

Case 3
Had the radio on and heard the cue to sms so absentmindedly I sent and sms. And yes, once again I've won a CD, this time Jamie Cullum's but I didn't feel as ecstatic as I usually feel. In fact, Aldeena was more excited about it than me.. but still, I won a free CD hehe..

Blame it on the rainy weather. Blame it on the holidays. Blame it on everything! Errkk, tak baik la pulak.. but yeah, its as if I don't have any feelings today. Numb..

I mean, what the hell has come over me today?!? And I've also noticed how many entries I've posted for the past few days and this is not a good sign, thesis-wise! I don't even feel like LOOKING at my data..

This is bad..

This is very bad!!!

Saturday, December 24, 2005

'Tis the night before Christmas!

Hehe.. some of you might wonder; what the heck is she talking about Christmas for? Well, its just that right now I'm in the school, bored to death (takde la sampai nak mati) about my thesis and playing online games while listening to my favourite station. Seems like the deejays are in the festive mood and I've been listening to loads of Christmas songs since I came (including my favourite 'Last Christmas').

Yesterday while day dreaming (as usual <-- Yun kata!! Haha..), my mind went back to a few years back when I enjoyed the childhood bliss of Christmas. Being in multiracial schools at that time, even WE were treated to visits from Santa and it would be a grand (from a childs point of view la..) event when the whole school would assemble in the hall. For those four years over there, I received multiple gifts that includes toys, colouring books, painting sets, childrens make-up kit, bags, candy and the works. Ayeen, I'm sure you remember all of this, right!

And if it wasn't enough, all of us would have our own class party with yet another visit from Santa or Santarina. With Christmas crackers and traditional Christmas putting (Haha.. still remember Brian cracking his teeth into a pice of coin inside the pudding.. at least dia dpt gak, I never got anything form the pudding!). Somehow, the teachers were conscious of us Muslims so we'd have a separate spread, just to make sure we won't miss the fun.. *sigh* childhood memories..

Anyway, I wanna share a Christmas song my brother Iwan loved to sing when we were small. Hmmm, wonder if he remembers this song??

C is for the candles trimmed around the Christmas tree
H is for the happiness with all the family
R is for the reindeers running by the window pane
I is for the icing on the cake as sweet as sugarcane
S is for the stockings, on the chimney wall
T is for the toys around the tree so tall
M is for the mistletoe, where everyone is kissed
A is for the angels who make up the Christmas list
S is for old Santa who makes every kids his pet
Be good and he'll bring you everything in the Christmas alphabet

Friday, December 23, 2005

Last Christmas..

Why is it that hearing one of my favourite songs on the radio seems more fun than listening to them from the cd?

A few weeks ago, Ikram, my third brother, was showing off his phone to me. Ye la, kakak dia guna Nokia 2100 ja tapi adik² semua guna phone ade camera la, MP3 la hehe.. Anyway, he had downloaded this karaoke version of the song Last Christmas and was playing it on the phone while asking me to sing this song hahah.. yup, this is one of the songs, pre-Ikram, which he knows..

Back home (read: umah sewa), I went through my CDs and yuppie! I found my Wham! cd.. yeah, back when George Micheal was still in this duo, and when I didn't know he was gay. Popping the disc in the player, I keep repeating this song as it DOES coincide with the festive season, though its not a real Christmas song anyway.

Yesterday, while doing my work, with the radio on, as usual, this song came on air and before long I was singing along with this song. Somehow, it sounds more fun on the radio and though the azan was being announced outside, rasa sayang nak tutup radio, padahal cd dia ade je dalam keter (Haaaa, ngaku pun buat dosa semalam!). Naudzubillah..

And as expected, my drive home was filled with this song played repeatedly.

Anyway, I first heard this song when I was 5 or 6 (thats why I call it pre-Ikram!) and I could vaguely picture the videoclip and can only remember lots of snow and a fireplace.. obviously la kan! Back here, when I was 17 (I think) I went to Popular with my family for some school supplies. While waiting for Iwan, Adi, Ikram and Izati (saje je nak senarai bg nampak banyak hehe..), I went into CDrama and wonders of wonders, I found this CD. I practically begged Abah (without much hope pun masa tu, knowing how Abah is) for the CD while he kept reminding me of whats more important (our stationery and stuff) so I sadly put the CD back on the rack.

But I guess, behind that Abah I know, there sometimes comes this part of him that suprises us. Back home, he handed me the CD and I whoopped with joy, instantly played it on the CD player and sang along with the family (except Ikram, Izati and Iskandar la who didn't have the slightest idea why we were singing 'old' 80s songs!)

Untuk Nomi: Tul cakap Nomi, klau la pandai godek² internet, cari coding, dah lama buh lagu ni kat blog :-p~

Artist: wham!
Song: Last Christmas Lyrics

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day,
You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day,
You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye
Tell me baby do you recognise me?
Well it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me

(Happy Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I Love You" I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again

Chorus (Oooh. Oooh Baby)

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice
My God I thought you were someone to rely on
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man undercover but you tore me apart
Oooh Oooh Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again


A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
(Gave you my heart)
A man undercover but you tore me apart
Next year I'll give it to someone,
I'll give it to someone special
I'll give it to someone,

I'll give it to someone special
who'll give me something in return
I'll give it to someone
hold my heart and watch it burn
I'll give it to someone,
I'll give it to someone special
I've got you here to stay
I can love you for a day
I thought you were someone special
gave you my heart
I'll give it to someone,
I'll give it to someone
last christmas I gave you my heart
you gave it away
I'll give it to someone,
I'll give it to someone

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Masters Disaster Pt 3




I need help!

Its been a few days and I haven't done anything for my thesis. I've come to the point of having a strong urge of throwing up whenever I think of my dissertation. I feel sick to the pit of my stomach whenever I see the School of Civil Engineering looming in front of my face every morning as I drive through the campus and I hate waking up in the morning.. knowing that I have this 'writing up' to tend to!

Yesterday was the worst. I came to the point of gasping for breath as I sat in front of the pc. My hand were shaking I was overcome by this iresistable feeling of wanting to cry and scream at the same time.. God, I've never felt this way before!

Even the thought of MBC didn't help. In fact, today I feel sick of him too! Too much bumping into him these past few days have made me wonder: What was I thinking? I guess this ends my short term crush for now..

Today, I still feel shaky.. but as Erwan and Keon told me to take it easy, I've made up my mind NOT to even peek at my thesis for today and to tell you the truth, I'm starting to feel a bit calm.. a bit je la..

But in the meantime..





Saturday, December 17, 2005

Because of you

I've been making frequent visits to Ayeen's blog, just to hear this song hehe.. First heard it on the air and I was instantly attracted to the little bits of the lyrics I heard (ye la, apart from the knowledge this song was sung by the most successful IDOL yet), though I didn't really understand the song much since I didn't hear the whole song..
And now that I get the chance to listen it, courtesy of Ayeen, I'm starting to like it.. Meaningful because sebenarnya its true for a lot of people kan, tak kisah la they want to admit it or not.. Ape pun, tak baik salahkan orang, dak? It doesn't matter if it's lessons learnt from your friends ke, parents ke or the people around you. But still..

Ayeen, thats why I've been ranting about how hard it is to go to your blog pun.. (tp your archives kak Yong tak leh bukak la, yang!).. I can only hear it on my colleague's pc, on mine, ampeh tak leh baca your blog, what more to listen to the song :-P~
P/S For Ayeen, kene bayo royalti ke sbb 'curi' this form you? ;-P

Because of You by Kelly Clarkson
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you

Sunday, December 11, 2005

A little too much haha..

Okay.. now I'm freaked out!

I suddenly feel like a stalker and that is sooooo, errr, 'degrading'(?).. haha, bit funny if you ask me.

A few days ago, I was on cloud nine.. and happy to be there. But today, I seem to have dropped down a few levels. Nope, not on the seventh heaven, I won't mind that.. more like having my feet planted firmly on the ground once more. Err, ok, maybe just floating a teeny bit :-)

A few days ago, I had a very close encounter with MY BIG CRUSH but as usual, I pasted my tak-kisah-pun face and pretended to look somewhere else (big, fat liar, huh! Hehe..). Then 2 days ago, I was 'somewhere' (not telling here.. like I said, I'd rather keep his location a secret :-p) waiting for a friend and pacing around the corridor. Then outta the blue, I came 'nearly' face-to-face with MBC as I was turning around but I managed to whip out my phone while pretending to call my friend. Then just now, I was stalling myself from getting outta the car by skipping through the newspaper I just bought. Imagine how dreadful I felt when I finally emerged form the car, just to see MBC passing by.. I mean, if he had ever noticed anything (which I'm hoping he hasn't), it DOES seem like I was delibrately sitting in my car and going out ONLY when he passed.

Thats not to mention some other recent encounters that, though they made me smile silly a few days ago, now make me cringe with horror! I mean, its just a silly crush, for God's sake so please don't torture me, ooo my crazy, psycho mind!

Yeah, I'm sure its all in the mind really, but hey, my mind has a powerful grip on me and it sure isn't making things better for me! I won't mind a few glimpses now and then but not to the point it makes me feel like subconsciously, I'm stalking MBC! Gosh, better tone down the feeling and throw away these silly crushes that were meant for teenagers ONLY.. Help me!!!

Saturday, December 10, 2005


I just looked up this word in the dictionary and found out that it meant fortunate accidents or making fortunate discoveries by accident.. well, something to THAT effect! I DO wonder whats the connection between the word and the story..

You see, I've just been watching the movie a few minutes ago and since I'm still on cloud nine with MY BIG CRUSH, the story has contributed to another silly grin on my face haha.. Anyway, as any of you who have seen this picture know, this story is about fate and how strong the belief is that no matter what you try to do, you could never change your fate.

I liked the way the story went. The girl wrote her name and number on book while the guy, on a dollar note. Then they sent of the book and note to no-one-knows-where-itll-end-up and as the girl believed, if they were meant to be together, one day the note AND book would end up in their hands.. waaaahhh, so sweet ah!

I like the way the story implied that sometimes, SOMETHING is good for you BUT not at that particular moment. For example, the guy and the gal (John Cusack and Kate something yg berlakon citer Pearl Harbour tuh..) went to this hotel and they made a pact that if the both of them chose the same floor from different elevators then they were meant to be together. Somehow, they chose the same 23rd floor BUT, since the time wasn't yet right for them, Sara (Kate Beckinsale ke apentah nama dia) had no problems arriving at the floor but the guy had the misfortune of having this cheeky boy with him, who pressed ALL the buttons thus making him arrive VERY late to the 23rd floor and missing Susan for just a few moments.

But as all sweet love stories go (ok la, nearly all la..) in the end, they DID end up together la.. we, as the viewers would notice all the 'signs' that would pave their way together but they themselves were confused about all those 'signs'.. yup, more like our real life experiences, huh?

Here.. I'm posting the synopsis given by

Jonathan Trager and Sara Thomas met while shopping for gloves in New York. Though buying for their respective lovers, the magic was right and a night of Christmas shopping turned into romance. Jon wanted to explore things further but Sara wasn't sure their love was meant to be. They decided to test fate by splitting up and seeing if destiny brought them back together... Many years later, having lost each other that night, both are engaged to be married. Still, neither can shake the need to give fate one last chance to reunite them. Jon enlists the help of his best man to track down the girl he can't forget starting at the store where they met. Sara asks her new age musician fiance for a break before the wedding and, with her best friend in tow, flies from California to New York hoping destiny will bring her soulmate back. Near-misses and classic Shakespearean confusion bring the two close to meeting a number of times but fate will have the final word on whether it was meant to be

*sigh* I'm still wearing this silly grin!

Hmm.. wonder what MY 'signs' are gonna be like???

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Wipe that silly grin off your face, girl!

For the past few weeks, I've been noticing something different in me.

It started a few days ago when I suddenly felt so stiff in my jaw, I had stop my work just to rub it. I was suprised to notice a silly grin on my face and suddenly it downed to me that I've been having these silly grins and fits of 'senyum sorang²' quite frequently. Yup, there was also a noticable extra spring in my step and suddenly the world seems so much more colourful haha..

Ok Pojie, akak told you 'I dunno why I'm having this silly grin on my face' but I guess I DO know now haha.. just don't laugh at me, okay!

Most of you might say, "She's fallen in love" haha.. That's probably half the truth since I don't believe much in Love At The First Sight but lets just say I've developed a severe crush on someone. No prizes for guessing who and I'm not giving out any clues, just in case one of my juniors stumble upon the truth. Okay la, one clue, to broaden your horizons a bit.. someone NOT from Civil Engineering (School? Field? Take your pick!)

I feel like a school girl, senyum tak tentu pasal and believe me, its been a long time since I've felt this giddy. Well, some of my friends during my undergraduate studies tell me that I never notice anything else outside the academic field, I was always into assignments and lectures.. but if they saw me right now, I'm sure they'd laugh their heads off.. AND finally realize that I AM NORMAL like everyone else.

A mere glimpse would make my day and no matter what Dr Wan says (about my thesis that seems to be getting worse by the minute) to me, I'd still be smiling as opposed to the rasa-nak-nangis-je feeling I had before. And to make it worse, I seem to keep bumping into him (I swear it isn't on purpose) so its no wonder that the smile keeps staying on my face every second.

But, I DO realize that
1. He doesn't even know I'm alive
2. He's WAY outta my league

..but still, it doesn't hurt to be on cloud nine, does it?

Besides, I've also realized something VERY interesting.. I haven't been thinking of IM at all for a very long time, eversince the developement of this 'plague' in me and I think thats something I should really be thankful for. Somehow, I think I have my crush to thank! Its not like I've never had seen anyone interesting, but I keep comparing.. stupid huh? Not to mention wasting my precious time.. But this sudden crush either surpasses everything or has really managed to take my mind of IM.. whatever it is, thanks! (Though I won't really say this to him la haha..)

Oh well, enough time back on earth, I'm going to walk on air again to my comfortable cloud nine and keep this smile that hasn't really gone away from my face while enjoying the view of a face that keeps popping into my mind.. cheerio!