Friday, March 30, 2012

When the heart talks..

I didn't realize how much I've missed you until this week.. ='(

I managed to ignore the fact that you forgot my birthday this year. I managed to convince myself that I didn't care and that it wasn't important.. and that I manage to let slip outta my mind that I've lost something I've had for the past few years.

And then I found myself suddenly in tears as I went to class the other day. Try as I might, I couldn't stop them BUT I managed to tell myself, I'm just a sad and pathetic person generally.. and THAT effected me the whole time, making my students think I was not well and down with a fever..

Next, I catch myself jumping everytime the phone rings..

Today, I found myself wearing one of the baju kurungs you gave me. Telling myself I'm only wearing it coz it, well, Friday.. and coz I like the colour!

And to think that I'm not even talking about IM this time..

Monday, March 19, 2012

Imps from my past hehe..

"Bg kerja..tunggu bdak2 ciap wat kerja..p kedai runcit beli 2 tin nescafe..minum 1 tin smpai abis dalam masa 10 saat sambil duduk bawah meja..pastu wat muka malu (malu la sgt)..abis tusyen,,balik naik ATOS..minum lg 1 tin masa drive balik umh..umh ckgu penang kan ?? Hahahahaha.....power x otak sy, igt lagi tuh.." ~ Zaim

"Skng dh maju la skit xnek bsikl dh..hehe..tingt gak msa dlu kmi je yg thegeh2 lmbai2 kt ckgu..yg ckgu sengeh tolak idong..hahaha...lwk gila..lmbaian yg x drhgai..hahahaha...pas 2 ckgu bwk keta folow bkng kmi nek bsikl..dok2 hon2..mcm la xleh lalu tepi;D" ~ Izzat

"Ckgu nk tau x ?? Baru je 3 ari lepas tringat kt ckgu..tetiba td lam inbox dpt mcg x caye je.." ~ Zaim

Oh God! I had a really fun weekend.. and I didn't even have to go out (except for my classes la kan)

On Friday, I was asked to sub for Khairi's class in Bagan Serai. When I arrived for the class, I realized it was one batch I had taught for two years (Form 1 and Form 2) BUT, only 5 of my ex-students were in that class.

I didn't notice how frustrated I was when I realized that as this was one of my 'nightmare' classes (a nickname I gave them, proven in this entry haha..). Why do I call them that?

Well, prior to that year, my classes were usually small.. and I actually prefer them that way. Tu la baru tuition kan, instead of classes like I have now yang kadang bleh sampai 50 students *pengsan*

Anyway, I was used to small classes too much that whenever my students exceeded 20 students each, I'd panic.. Like seriously ketaq lutut style while feeling like running outta the class every few minutes. My problem was, some of thsse students noticed that and lagi la depe dok naik kepale kaaann.. to which I'd actually cry during class sbb tak tahan.. Yeah, I know, sgt pathetic bile ingat balik..

Still, some of them don't relly mean it, I guess. They thought they were just being cheeky, without realizing the limit their lame teacher ni bleh terime..

In this class, at least the girls were great. Typical girls yang tak pernah tak buat kerja and will shut their mouth while doing their work, thus making the boys always telling me, "Cikgu ni sayang budak perempuan je kan!"

Anyway, I admit, the last day I had with them (In Bagan Serai, I always taught only form 1 and form 2 so I knew I wouldn't be teaching them again), I felt a bit sad. As annoyed I am sometimes (more like in each and every time I teach them) with them, I'd grown attached to most of them. Wpun kadang tu exasperated coz dalam baru lepas kene marah tu, bleh lagi dok sengih².. haiyaaaa~~

Back to the present day, I found myself thinking of this class as I went back home, especially after Muhsin (one of my ex-students) had talked about Zaim so it didn't suprise me much when I searched on Zaim on FB.

Now, as a rule, I NEVER add my students.. approve ye, add tu tidak la coz sometimes teenagers ni kan agak annoying (Ok! Now I sound like an old aunty!) Well, you know la how they are kan.. Hahah, ok, only 'old aunties' like me kot bleh paham the annoying 'relationship statuses' la.. the annoying ejaan pelik² la.. the annoying mulut² itik kunun cute abis laaa.. well, all that stuff. But if my student adds me, I usually approve je coz they made a bit of an effort kan (while hoping against hope they don't 'amuse' be by being annoying like I said before)

As for Zaim (a.k.a The ORIGINAL Budak Kecik), somehow, I'd been thinking of him a lot for the past few weeks actually. He was this TINY boy during form 1, always teased by his friends sampai dia majuk and I always laughed even if I backed him (thus the reason why Izzat said, "Takpa Penyu, mentang² la cikgu Ayu sayang hang!") During form 2, he and Izzat somehow managed to get my phone number and as kids would be kids, asyik la dok misscall kaaannn~~

Anyway, I was really suprised when the first profile that came up was in fact Zaim's (Actually, I'd forgotten his name and had been trying hard to remember saaaampai la si Muhsin sebut) Around half an hour later, when I checkd my FB, I realized that Zaim had accepted my request and had already conteng on my wall..

God! I didn't realize I was smiling so broadly =) =) =)

Turns out, the reason I was thinking so much of him was because he was also thinking of me.. if you believe that psychological BS laaaaa heheh.. Seryesly, I was VERY happy.. and to think that the whole week I was actually a bit sad with some old stories I'd rather forget.

Zaim had already moved back to Terengganu, his actual hometown (NOW I know why they called him Penyu dulu!) with his family earlier in the year. When asked why didn't he wait until after SPM, he told me that his mother was the one who wanted to go back to Terengganu as soon as his father retired. He said he'd begged but the decision was already made.. sian plak kat dia..

I asked about Izzat and not even 5 minutes later, I received a request from Izzat.. waaahhhh~~

I was happy to realize that they were still close friends and they were actually chatting at that very moment. Habis la kan I kene perli with them sbb deme seronok la plak cakap, "Cikgu rindu kitorg!"

And what made me smile was that Izzat's first reaction was to tell me about the fun times.. instead of the time depe asyik kene marah je! Heheh.. I was expecting him to remember the bad times only since he was always so cheeky in class so selalu la kene marah. When he was form 1, dia pernah kene panggil with Sir Sany during MY class sbb Sir Sany kesian tengok me kene bully with them, boley? Mase tu, I remember how he tried to pretend dia tak kecik ati kene marah camtu because of me hehe..

Izzat's now in Teknik Seberang Jaya so I was really lucky that it was a school holiday, klau tak, tak sembang with Izzat ape mlm tu =) I really laughed when he told me he still remembered my Budak Kecik nickname for Zaim.

Izzat slept early that night, around midnight, dah lebur! But me and Zaim continued till 3am.. and wouldn't have stopped klau memasing tak ngantuk ape.. habis sumer citer kluar hehe..

I went to sleep smiling that night. I kept remembering how cheeky they were, and funnily, like Izzat, I couldn't remember WHY I was always mad at them. I only remembered the times they made me smile. I also forgot about the things that have been troubling me lately and it was all thanx to them!

I thought we had finished then and since Saturday was usually my busy day full of classes, I didn't have time to go online until late that night. And to my suprise, I got a message from Izzat, asking me when I was gonna be online. Alaaaaaaaahaaaiii, anak murid ku ini.. terharu ok!

So that night I spent my time with Izzat pulak and kept laughing all the time. He's still as cheeky as he was dulu and kept asking me if I remembered this or that. He talked about his new school and such.. gosh! I sure miss those cheeky imps!

Turned out, the reason Zaim was quiet that night was because he spent the day going back to Terengganu after spending his school holiday in Bagan Serai, THAT means, during the time I was teaching Khairi's class, he was just in the area. Sian pulak dia, rindu kawan² dia sampai sanggup turun Bagan..

On Sunday plak, I had to sub Cikgu Yazid in Jawi so I only went online in the afternoon and was smiling again when I got a message from Izzat inviting me to go visit him in his hostel whenever I'm free. He gave me his latest phone number (stating, "Cikgu nak amik number ni amik la, tak mau pun takpe la.. sy pasrah!" Hahah..) and sheepishly admitted that he had lost my phone number. He was already getting ready to back to his school.. alaaa, sekejapnye la.. =(

That night, Zaim plak online sampai pukul 2.00am lebih kot.. I had fun teasing him again as I did before and he told me proudly that I couldn't call him Budak Kecik anymore coz he's now 176cm tall.. whaaaa~~ Dulu dia kecik giler, ok!

Along the way, someone else plak added me, MIRZA! Wahahaha~~ Baru je Muhsin cakap aritu, "Musuh cikgu tak mai.." when I was taking the attendance for the class on Friday. Coz Mirza was one of the most cheeky ones ke tahap annoying and selalu kene marah then majuk ngan Cikgu Ayu.. and even he has changed! And though I'm VERY sure he remembers the bad times with me (Heheh..), he also chose to 'mengungkit' ONLY the good ones..

Waaa.. ni yang sayang kat korg ni!

And till today, I'm still smiling like crazy kot for my fortune! Thank God for the reason to smile and laugh after a few weeks of feeling blue.. and thank God jugak for giving me these kinda students! Like I told them la after Izzat was teasing me saying that I miss them coz I must've loved them so much dulu: Garang, garang jugak.. Marah pun, marah la jugak.. Tp sayang tu dah mesti! ~ ♥

Friday, March 16, 2012

Jage awak, Arep! Hahah~~

Of course Googled.. I'm not THAT old.. not THAT thin.. errrkkk!! Heheh

Just came back from my form 5 class in Pt Buntar and couldn't wait to share hehe..

My student Nadhirah (also daughter of one of my lecturers in PPKA) usually sits in front during my class. However, due to something yang I pun tak paham, just now she kept changing her seat. Kejap duk depan, kejap duk belakang, kejap duk tengah²..

When I asked her why, she just smiled and shook her head.

However, when she had changed her place too many time for me, I teased her about this old wives tale that says, you shouldn't change places frequently or you'll get married a lot of times. Actually, this only applies to your seating at the dining table je kot rasenye but I still wanted to tease her so I used it against her so I said to her loudly, "Nadhirah, tak baik tukar tmpt bnyk kali, nnt awak kawen bnyk kang baru tau!"

Suddenly Arep, another student looked up at me and said to me, "Cikgu mesti tak pernah buat dulu kan mase kecik².." with a VERY kunun-innocent smile.

I smiled back at him and told him, of course I never did such thing.. thinking he was praising my good behaviour..

..UNTIL I realized he was laughing while running away from me!

Cisss.. bengong! Hahahah.. but couldn't help laughing at how spontaneous he was when he teased me back =)

Takpe korang.. siap!!

Saturday, March 10, 2012

LOTR lagi~

Heheh.. so last night, the 2nd installment of the LOTR was shown on TV2 (I thought it would be shown throughout the weekend kan last week.. salahhhh!)

Of course I'm excited to talk about it BUT I also know the craze was so long ago so mcm malu la kan nak ckp bnyk² lagi pasal LOTR ni kan hehe..

Still, wanted to update something..

Remember I said during the craze, I went and bought the books? Well, agak bongok jugak terase bile mau ngaku yg I NEVER FINISHED THE BOOKS! Hahah..

I'm guessing that these are among my few (read: VERY few!) book that I never finish.

Of course, I did start dengan semangatnye! After buying those books, I quickly wrapped them in plastic covers before choosing the Fellowship of The Ring as my night cap.. and mmg jadik bacaan tido coz I like tidoq sungguh lepaih baca, abaq ang!

The next night, I tried again with the same results hehe.. in the end, I gave up and just put the book back on the rack. Ok, there's nothing wrong with the book (klau tak, how could Soraya and Uncle Ahyauddin read it together as their father-daughter activity?) but the languange was too errr, complicated for me.. hmm, yeah! Complicated!

Where the book has been residing since..

I felt my eyes roll back into their sockets whenever I tried hard to read it, no matter how many time I tried. Thats why I decided, this is the one and only time I'd ever admit that a movie is better than its book!

Still, wanting to give myself a chance to prove I can handle 'difficult' English, I decided to skip Fellowship of The Ring and read The Two Towers (since THAT movie was due during the time I bought the book).. BUT, with the same results..

..and once again, I put the book back on the shelf!

Things didn't improve a year later when The Return Of The King was due. I tried agan, unsuccessfully, to read the book but still found it to be a great-for-trying-to-sleep kinda book (though I admit, I managed to understand the part when Gollum was the one who went down with the Ring at mount Doom)

So there, I actually DO have books that I never finish! I still keep those books though, just to pretend I'm intellectual.. pffffttttt..

But hey, a few days ago due to the frust-sbb-depe-bleh-plak-takmo-pasang-LOTR-tiap-hari, I decided to go through the books again.. and this time there a wee bit of improvement coz I suddenly realize The Return of The King is not that hard to read hehe.. the other two books tu still no comment la from me.

And just to share (sgt mengade kan!), I realized that 25th March (Ehemm~~ A special girl punye birthday.. ehem²! Heheh..) is the day of the fall of Sauron, thus, in Gondor, they have declared the 25th of March as their new year. And not only that, Sam Gamgee's first born, Elanor, was also born that day.. yeay!

Ok, I know la its fiction.. but its pretty cool kan hehe..

Saturday, March 03, 2012

LOTR on TV2.. I likey!

Coming home from an exhausting class last night (I swear, these Form 5 kids act more like 9-year-olds whenever they're in the midst of exams, making me lose my patience more than once last night), I switched on to 8TV to watch some Idol action. Not wanting to go to bed yet after it had ended, I decided to flip to TV2 to see what movie they were showing (those without Astro know that Friday nights are movie nights on TV2 and TV3 kan heheh..)

..and almost yelled in delight when I saw a familiar scene: The council for the Fellowship of The Ring! Yeayyyyy

Its been years since the LOTR craze kan but its still among my favourite movies.

To tell you the truth, I wasn't even interested in it at first. I read classics, but not one as epic as this so even when the movie was out, I didn't know who John Ronald Reuel Tolkien was nor did I ever hear of The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy.. err, haha, ok! I admit, I wikied his full name just to sound smart hahahah.. yeah²! Its not working, I know =p

To me, the title sounded a bit.. boring! *Errr, mati la kene sula kot ngan LOTR fans ni klau depe tau*

Anyway, when the first movie came out around the time I was in my final year, I didn't go watch it. I had no interest to watch it and didn't even Google (time tu Google takde kot lagi.. tak pun, blum glamer cam skrg kot heheh..) about it. To me, it was just another over-exposed, over-promoted and over²-yang-sewaktu-dengannye kinda movie..

..and was I proven wrong!

When the second movie, The Two Towers, was about to come out, kak Yani, my roomate was excitedly talking about it. Now, I loved movies even then, but I couldn't really make myself as enthusiastic as her when it came to this.

It so happened, a student club in USM (I don't remember which club) did this fundraising and for the price of RM2 (I think la, can't remember the exact amount), we were given a ticket to a screening of the first movie, The Fellowship of the Ring. It wasn't anything fancy pun, they just projected the movie to the screen in one of our lecture theatres but it was good enough to most students since it was a full house that night.

I hadn't planned to watch but kak Yani wanted to watch it again before the Two Towers came out.. to refresh her memory katenye. Since we had nothing better to do, all of us went to the screening since it was just a 10-minute walk from our hostel.

And the rest is history!

Well, ok la, tak la camtu sgt. The first few minutes still didn't seemed to pick up my interest but as the movie developed, I found myself lost in it. When finally it was over, I realized only one thing..

..I missed out on a great movie!

I immediately asked kak Yani when she wanted to watch The Two Towers (it was due to be out that week jugak rasenye).. and yeah, THEN the rest is history! Heheh..

It was great to watch the movie again after almost 10 years.. and I still find myself immersed in the movie just as much as I did, maybe even more, than the first time I watched it in that darkened lecture hall all those years ago.

Who could forget the main character.. The Ring! Hahah..

And Frodo (Lie still calls me Frodo till now.. cisss!), Sam, Merry and Pippin, those Hobbits from Shire. I love all scenes that have Merry and Pippin in it coz they are so entertaining. From stealing Gandalfs cart of fireworks to volunteering to accompany Frodo during the meeting that they weren't invited in hahah..

I also like the scenes with Legolas and Gimli where at first, they didn't like each other and Gimli was always trying to show how much better dwarves were compared to elves. I like how their friendship progressed through all three movies and they DO have the best dialogues whenever it is scene involving both of them hehe..

Ahhhh.. Legolas! This was my desktop for quite a time after that. In fact, I'm quite sure if I switch on Abah's old Mac I used back then, my desktop is still some form of Legolas smiling back at me *sigh*

So dia jambu.. so what? Hahah.. most like Aragorn, macho katenye (ni kak Shima and kak Yani nye ayat!) but to me, he looks like he needs a bath =p

Ohh.. and Gandalf.. I love Gandalf! Was a bit frustrated when I saw him perish in the first move but The Two Towers brought him back to life.. yeay!

Anyway, the Two Towers is gonna be shown tomorrow so I can't wait. The Two Towers is my favourite amongst all three so I'm definitely not gonna miss it. Also not planning on missing The Return of The King jugakkk.. mane blehhh.. hehe..

So there, my weekend will be full of tuning into TV2 just to watch one (or more like THREE) of the greatest movies ever made!

Thursday, March 01, 2012

It's March..

I thought I'd be dreading this month, knowing this year it would be different..

..instead, I find myself being happier than I've been for the last few months!

No, my financial issues haven't gone away nor have the other problems hovering around at the back of my head. BUT, I just realized, I haven't even pondered on THAT for a very long time now.. and even if my mind starts wandering towards the rrot of it, I find myself no longer as unhappy as before.. wow!

Good riddance perharps?!?! Or merely trying to stop myself for being hurt knowing that its gonna be different?!?!


In the mean time.. happy thoughts! ONLY happy thoughts =)

Bile la nak terre wat cupcakes gini?