Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Finally :)

Yeay, I’ve finished the book!!! :) :) :)

Yup, finally finished the book I was waiting for! Of course, I still had my class, but I didn’t carry out my initial plan to give the kids some tests so I can read the book peacefully in class.. sgt keji la if I do that, huh? Though I have to admit, the thought DID cross my mind a couple of times hehe..

I’ll come to the book later. What I’d like to say is that the so-called draft I had received is nonsense. No wonder I felt like calling it a bogus script on my last entry. I regret not reading it earlier as I was afraid I’d spoil the book for me. Turned out, I’m now looking forward to reading the so-called draft I have, just to see the story from another J.K. Rowling wannabe’s point of view.

Anyway, I arrived at kak Shima’s house around 8.45pm as I had prayed and ate an apple for my bukak puase first, at home. Then I had gotten lost at Bandar PERDA haha.. explaining why a 40-minute jouney turned out to be a more-than-an-hour journey.

When I arrived, clutching my overnight bag, sling bag, telekung bag and giraffe (the only bedmate I managed to hold on to as I was rushing outta the house haha.. sib baik, if I managed to hold on to more, tak ke haru! I only realized it in the lift as the girl who was in the lift kept looking at me curiously haha..), I noticed this man looking at me. He seemed familiar and at last I noticed it was Cik Wan, Abah’s cousin. I had known that he was no longer living in Penang Island, but I didn’t know he was in the same block as kak Shima. Salam with him then promised to go meet him and Mak Cik Bada later that night as kak Shima was laready waiting for me.

At kak Shima’s house, I only managed to go to the toilet before we rushed out. Kak Shima wanted to take me to Laksa Shack at Sunway Carnival (betul ke name ni?). Had a great meal of Nasik Kerabu Ayam Percik (Oooohh, lame dah tak makan nasik.. asyik tak sempat je..) while kak Shima had some lakse Johor that was yummy! Then she ordered roti jala, served with 5 roti jala and a small bowl of chicken curry with two medium sized chicken pieces. The curry was exactly like what our mother’s would’ve cooked, showing that they’re not ‘cheap’ on the spices but then again, that whole plate was priced at RM7.90, so they SHOULD cook it deliciously like that, right?

For the first time in days, my jeans felt snug haha.. Then we went to Carrefour, just to check on the book promotion there. Satisfied (only the first 100 customers would get the orange paper bag, while we were confirmed of getting it.. but turned out not as nice as Half-Blood Prince punye paper bag), we went to buy some things to munch on before heading back to kak Shima’s. Then I went to Cik Wan’s apartment which was exactly four floors beneath kak Shima’s for the promised visit and only went back upstairs when it was nearly 12.00.

I couldn’t sleep that night, maybe outta excitement or maybe.. well, maybe coz of something else. The last time I looked at the watch, it was nearly 4.00am and the next thing I knew, my alarm was ringing at the set time of 5.55am. Kak Shima was already awake, finishing her report she was supposed to submit before 8.ooam. Performed my Subuh prayers then took a shower and got ready. We arrived in front of Megamal around 7.15am and a short line was already formed. I took my place and was smiling to myself while remembering how we had rushed to be the first when we picked up the last book. I must’ve been around the 20th person or something but the workers were busily taking photographs of everyone.

When it was my turn, I excitedly signed the form and paid my balance. However, I was disappointed when I received the adult’s version as I had ordered the children’s version. When I insisted that I had ordered the children’s version, the salesperson explained that since my name was in the adults version list, I had to take it.. so, sighing a bit (but still happy for getting my own copy), I just accepted it along with the orange paper bag (the Half Blood prince was prettier), the HP t-shirt and a RM5 voucher (yeayyy!).

Then, we headed off to Borders in QBay. It was already open by then but kak Shima didn’t get the orange paper bag. Thankfully, her plush owl was still around heheh.. I had noticed this box containing wrapped gifts and asked the guy at the counter what was it for. Turned out, they had prepared some gifts for people who came dressed up as HP characters (Yeah right.. that’ll be the day! This is Malaysia la, dude! Duhhhh..)

Kak Shima received this voucher. 10% off, I think, so we wandered along the store to find other interesting books. Hahah.. huge mistake here! We were holding THE book so of course no other book could hardly catch our attention. So instead, kak Shima bought this pair of keychains and gave me one for my belated birthday present while she took the other one. Mine wore a light blue sweater while hers wore a dark blue one. I thanked her but was flabbergasted at how pricey it was.. gile ke keychain harge camtu? Haha.. but what do you expect from it kan.. still, its cute :) Thanx kak Shima..

Then, after that, we went to McD Sunway for some breakfast, kak Shima’s treat again. Untung kawan ngan orang keje Intel ni kot ye hahahah.. Sowi kak Shima, just kidding.. but really, thanx a LOT ! You were a great hostess :)

Anyway.. truth is, I wanted to write my own review of the book but I don’t think I have the time yet (Baizurah’s gonna kill me hahah.. but I like Soraya’s review) so I guess I’ll put that in another entry..

Btw, here's a picture of both our books and the gifts we received hahah.. Ayu cam poyo :D

Friday, July 20, 2007

One more day :D:D:D

One more day to go.. I can’t wait :)

I’d pre-ordered the book a few months ago, parting with a much-needed RM50 note when I saw the advertisement for pre-ordering at the Popular Book Store in Megamal. But the urge to have the book was stronger.. naturally :)

Then there were bogus ‘drafts’ of the story circulated in emails which I read a tiny bit out of curiosity but stopped as I didn’t wanna spoil the book for me. But now the wait has finally come to an end.. only one more day to go!

I remember the first time I saw the Harry Potter book. I was in my first year in USM Tronoh and I had gone out with my friends to Kinta City. They had this MPH over there and since I love book stores, I’d always drop by to check on new books. It was then that I noticed the Philosopher’s Stone, neatly stacked at one end of the store, but without anyone taking notice. I picked up a book and went through the pages for a second before my friend called me as she was already starving, so I just put the book back where it was and followed her, without a second thought of the book.

A few days later, while at the library, I came across a book review section in the NST and guess what, they were reviewing The Philosopher’s Stone! Looking at the picture, I remembered that it was the same book I had picked up a few days earlier and somehow, I kinda regretted not buying it then as the reviews were kinda great.

However, destiny didn’t want us to be together yet, as every time I went to any bookstore to buy the book, I’d always find another book from other familiar authors that I’d find more interesting, and since I was a student on a one-book-per-visit-to-the-bookstore budget, I seemed to never get the chance to buy the book..

Then, towards the end of my first year, I heard that the book was to be turned into a movie.. and THAT finally grabbed my attention. Now, I don’t really remember if I watched the movie first or if I read the book first as the time between both events were only a couple of days.. but lets just say, the rest is history! I was hooked :D

In a matter of weeks, I had bought the complete 4-book set (the Order of the Phoenix was still in the making during this time) and I was glad to find a few friends who shared the same interest. It was the kind of book that changes every time you reread it.. yup, its THAT good!

Then, a few years later, I bought The Order of the Phoenix at Popular and by now, I had a housemate, kak Shima, who was as enthusiastic as I was and sometimes, when there was nothing else to do, we’d love to talk about the book, much to the confusion of my other housemate, kak Kathy, who couldn’t understand why we loved the series so much.. and as most fans would agree, to know it is to love it! Those who don’t read it would, I’m afraid, never understand.

The Half-Blood Prince was the first book I had to pre-order. I remember ordering it at Popular in Megamal and keeping the pre-order slip as if it was made of gold haha.. Parting with RM50 didn’t seem a lot to everyone, I guess, when it came to the book. Then, since kak Shima’s birthday was around the corner, I decided to surprise her with ordering the book for her as well, and I’m glad I did as I knew she LOVED the series as much as I did, and was glad to see her happily surprised face when I handed her her own slip. I had planned to pay for the whole book for her, but in the end, she insisted on paying the remaining balance for the book. Hoho, the book was price at RM99.90, I think!

When the day came for us to pick up the book, we woke up early and went to McDs for some breakfast, excitedly chatting about the book the whole way there. As I was about to eat, Baizurah happily text me, gloating on how she was the first between us to get the book (Cisss..). Oooohh, was she cruel, eh awak, Baizurah? :p She had ordered it at Prangin, I think, and they had this book launching party where she received a witch’s hat, scented candles, Hogwarts flag (or was that someone else?) and some other stuff I can’t remember.. I was soooooo jealous (and imagine, I was 25 at that time hahah!!! Not an 11-year-old!), vowing to get back to her haha..

After eating, we rushed to Megamal, only to be disappointed to know that the store only opened at 10.30. 10.30 am!!! Imagine that! Every else had already received their books and we were still waiting for the store to open. Right there and then I vowed that I WON’T pre-order the next book here (which turned out, I DID! Duhhh..)

While waiting, I saw this kindly apek, wearing apek shorts, a t-shirt and selipar jepun also peeking into the store. We smiled at him then he asked if we were waiting for the book to. I was surprised haha.. Turned out, he wanted to surprise his daughter (or was it grand daughter) with it as she was a great fan of Harry Potter. *sigh* So sweet la the apek..

Then, as the doors opened, we almost ran to the counter haha.. God! I must’ve looked like an impatient girl!

I was the first, yeay!!!!

The book came in a paper back depicting the cover of the Half-Blood Prince and I was smiling the whole time my book was being packed and handed. It was until I heard a voice telling me to face their way that I realized, a long line had formed behind me, mostly of children and school-goers. But since I was the first one to get the book, they wanted my picture while they handed me the book..

Ok, now I was embarassed..

Even kak Shima raised an eye brow and stifled her signature big laugh when she saw how horrified I was haha.. After the picture was taken, I quickly ran outta the store, opting to wait for kak Shima outside. Was laughed at by kak Shima all the way home.. cett!

Back home, we each chose our favourite settee to curl up with our book. I only had a couple of hours to read as I had classes the whole afternoon, and how I envied kak Shima as I went out for my class, while she was still engrossed in her book.. and thinking of Sentot who was, undoubtly, also not putting down her book.

When I came back home, nearing Maghrib, we had a quick bite before resuming our position in the living room. Kak Kathy didn’t even wanna watch tv that night, as she said the living room looked and felt like a library, with us hanging around there with heads buried inside our books.

Know how teruk you can be when competing with your housemate on who finishes the book? When I stopped to get a drink, I caught my housemate checking on what page I was reading haha.. but then again, I also did the same thing by frequently asking her what page she was on.. so childish, huh? :D

Before long, I had managed to surpass her.. yeay! Good thing I’ve always been a speed reader (though it seems to have slowed down now) so I was able to take more 5-minute-breaks without worrying about kak Shima finishing before me.

Then, suddenly I had this thought haha.. I went to kak Shima and told her Dumbledore was gonna die. Then I text Baizurah and told her the same thing hahah.. Then I was ‘hampeh’ly laughing at them wailing on how I was spoiling it for them. Truth is, I just made it up to tease them..

BUT, I didn’t know it was actually gonna happen at the end of the book!


I had already apologized for teasing them and they already knew I had made it up, but by then I didn’t wanna really spoil it for them anymore.. let them find out themselves.

But yes, they wailed again, thinking I really did wanna spoil it for them in the first place haha.. I honestly didn’t know Dumbledore was gonna die..

And yeah, I finished first.. but the end was a bit sad. Like the beginning of something you know won’t be the same, as most fans would know by the end of this book that the last book won’t be all fun and games anymore. Didn’t feel like gloating to kak Shima and Baizurah anymore (though I can’t remember if I told Soraya or not?!?)

Anyway, tonight, after my class, I’m going to kak Shima’s (she’s no longer my housemate, but I’m sleeping over at her place tonight) and gonna go bukak puase with her, then sleep and wake up real early to line up at 7am for the final installment of the series. Both of us pre-ordered them at different stores, but we’re going to both stores to pick up our books, then go have a quick breakfast at McDs (in honour of the last time we went to pick up our HP book together) and go back to our respective homes to read our books, yeay!!! Can’t wait..

But still.. :( *nothing to do with the book.. its just something that’s bothering me*

Btw, Baizurah a.k.a Sentot has vowed to NOT open ANY sms from me UNTIL she finishes the book hahaha..

Thursday, July 19, 2007

2 more days to go :)

2 more days to go. I've finalized the plans with kak Shima.. or thought so last night.

We had planned to go for McDs for breakfast after Subuh (tak pose la saye hehe..) then head to Queensbay to Borders and pick up kak Shima's book.. and plush owl *envious here*. This was because, the last time we went to pick up Harry Potter's at the Popular Book Store in Megamal, weh ad to wait until 11.ooam (and we had arrived around 9.00am) as we didn't know what time it was opened. I had actually dreaded picking up my book here at that time as Baizurah was already starting on the book while we were waiting..

However, this year, since I didn't know where else to pick up the book, I thought, "What the heck!", I still get the book anyway. Still, felt a bit envious (cam budak²) when I knew kak Shima would get Hedwig.. I'll only be getting a Harry Potter t-shirt.. but thats better than nothing, huh?

Anyway, we had planned to go to Megamal after Queensbay to pick up my book. However, just now, the lady form Popular called me and told me there would be a launching of the book at Megamal in front of Starbucks starting at 7.00am. And guess what, all guest would be treated to a McDs breakfast.. yeayyy!!! Morever, I could also just pick up my book there, instead of going inside :) :) :)

Huhu, kene pujuk kak Shima ni amik my book first! :D <--cam susah skit kot, we both wanna get our books FIRST! :D

Cobweb in my attic..

This is an old entry, a few months ago punye.. dulu I put in in my Yahoo! blog. Then after a bout of mendungness, I put it in my Friendster. Tatau nape ari ni I was looking at it again, and sekali lagi the entry merantau ke blog lain..

"Had opened my Yahoo! 360 blog and came across this entry I wrote a few months back.. ntah, tetibe rase sedih. Then rase cam nak put in this blog. Don't ask me why, since the person(s?) involved doesn't have a Friendster account anymore so why bother, you may ask.. tapi ntah, bak kate abg Fadzil, "Ade orang mendung je 2-3 hari ni.."

Hari ni rase hibe.. pilu menusuk ke kalbu.. echeeewwaaahh!! Heheh..

Tapi betul, rase sedih dalam hati ni, sape yang tahu? Nak gelak tp ade masenye tak tahan nak lepaskan rase kecewe dalah hati.. rase rindu kat yang dah pergi. W/pun mungkin ade je depan mate, tapi dah tak same ngan dulu.. dah lain sangat..

Mane ilangnye the ol' one? The one yang selalu bercerite, susah dan senang, sedih dan gembire? Skrg, semuanye klau nak tau, kene dengar dari org lain.. bile empunye diri dah tamau share, tamau bercerite lagi.. mcm smlm, dengar dari org lain je, tuan punye diri dah tanak cerite, and even when hinted, dia anggap kite dah tau.. lupe kot dia, camne bezenye tau dari diri sendiri dan tau dari org len? Lupe ke ye?

Yang selalu berusaha untuk ketawe bile dia tau hati tengah sedih.. dan selalu kaver rase amuk, sebab 'malu' klau org nampak. Kadang² rase nak gelak, bile tengok rollercoaster dalam diri dia. Ade masenye macam budak² memanjekan diri, kadang² macam org dewase yang sentiase mengawasi, kadang² mcm kawan yang sentiase sama² menghiburkan diri, kadang² cam wise scholar, dengan nasihat yang ikhlas dari hati.. tp tu dulu.. skrg?

Mane ye hilangnye teman yang dipercayai itu? Sekarang dah rase macam tak kenal dah.. banyak bende yang dah berubah dan bukan sekali dua penah tertanye² ngan diri sendiri, "Adekah ini org yang same?"

Rase mcm berpaling sekejap je.. klau selame ni pandang pade an enchanted forest, penuh ngan surprises, penuh ngan beauty.. tapi pusing kejap je untuk tengok guruh dan kilat yang tibe² muncul dan bile pusing balik, enchanted forest dah jadi vast desert. Kosong. Ade angin dan pasir je. Mungkin ade satu dua bunge liar, tp takde langsung bukti penah wujudnye enchanted forest kat situ.. except bukti yang wujud in the mind, dalam memories..

Dari sebesar² bende, sampai sekecik² bende.. kt YM pun bleh perasan bezenye, ejaan 'mekaceh' pun dah tukar jadi 'makasih'. Gelak pun dah berubah. Sampai camtu sekali berubahnye.. bukan la tak suke perubahan camtu, nak berubah, berubah la.. cume rase sedih kot, sbb tak tau pun mase bile perubahan ni jadi.. rase macam dah tak kenal dah..

Lepas tu, trus ingat to the ol' one and trus tanye diri sendiri, "Mane dia pegi ye?"

Mane pegi nye suare yang selalu menyambut di awal hari (tak kisah la 'awal' tu pukul berape pun hehe..). Mane pegi gelak yang kuat cam guruh bile ade yang gelikan hati? Mane pegi kawan untuk bersembg pasal movie? Mane pegi peneman bile perut minte diisi, yang ajar makan itu dan ini?

Camne cube pun, tiap² hari terpk, teringat.. Banyak bende yang bagi tingat.. tengok kedai pun leh tingat.. ni la yang org kate, kadang² bende yang penah bg kite gelak pun leh bg kite nangis. Sbb ape? Sbb yg tinggal cume ape yang captured dalam memory.. bile bende dah ilang, ini je lah yang kite ade..

Cari² jugak, mane dia sembunyi, tp bukan rezeki, tak jumpe pun lagi. Cumenye, klau satu hari dia muncul balik, nak dia tau camne hati rindukan kawan penghibur hati, teman yang paling dipercayai..

Tp paling rindu kat org yang penah tanye, "Majuk senyap² ke?" Padehal tak majuk pun mase tu, cume rase terharu, ade yang amik berat.. sekarang, bile betul² majuk senyap², tak peduli pun kan..

Sedih.. balik lah ke sini.."

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Harry Potter and Avril Lavigne

To my friends, need not I remind you: 3 MORE DAYS!!!! Yeayyyy!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows are just around the corner. Come Saturday, all Harry Potter fans would be curled up with the final installment of the series.. and Sentot, lets just see if I don't 'torture' you like I did before hahaha.. Then again, you still have a chance to finish the book before me coz I've got loads of classes this weekend (or should I just give tests to all of my students while I lose myself in the book.. hmmm, that seems like a good idea haha..)


Hmm.. seems like whenever I switch on the radio (which means: ONLY when I get into my car.. eversince radio kat umah rosak, sgt leceh coz I happen to like listening to the radio sebenarnye..), this song seems to be playing on air.

First time I heard this song, I couldn't believe it was little Miss Avril as this song doesn't actually seem to.. well, seem to be her usual genre. And sedikit cam tak leh terime haha, coz it sounded a bit 'odd' from her, but this song has grown on me and I kinda enjoy it la jugak.. but haven't found the MP3 yet *sigh*

"When You're Gone"

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd
Need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear
To always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you,
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now


We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah


Saturday, July 14, 2007

..:'( Pt.2

There are some people in this world, who could hurt me and make me sad and wonder what did I do wrong.. usually, these are the closest people.. maybe family or close friends, or people I think of as my family too..

However, there's this other type people who could hurt me and make me cry and sad and all that. But instead of making me wonder what did I do wrong.. in the end, they just make me plain pissed off. I mean, REALLY pissed-off-and-wishing-I-could-piss-on-you type of pissed off. This group usually consists of people I'm not even close too.. but once in a while, a certain family member would pop up in this group, and believe me, this is NOT the first time!

During school, I was known to ALWAYS talk about my siblings to the extend my friends sometimes feel as if they know who my siblings are. I, as everyone else, love my siblings to bits and as all of us know, the reason to have a sibling is to love and be mad at whenever it suits us.. but this siblings seemes to have tipped the scale in the unfavourable side more often than not and right now, I really am mad at him.

For starters, let read what my dear brother wrote in his blog --> here

FYI, the person he's writing about is ME!

Wow! I feel sooooooooooooo honoured to be featured in his blog that I might just pay a tribute to him too in MY blog.

But lets just say, I'm not gonna give him the satisfaction of it.. But yes, though he is trying to degrade me (Know what! He has MY friends reading his blog.. and this is actually stupid coz unlike him, MY FRIENDS know me! Just like what he said about me not knowing about him like HIS friends know him.. yeah right, just for the record, I know his friends AND guys who weren't in his circle too.. and yes, I have an image of who he really was at school so don't talk about being a legend la.. you were a lagend, I guess, but imfamously and haha, you KNOW it.. so I won't really tell everyone how much of a lagend I was, if I were you la!), I think I have a few things to say..

Hmm.. lets see, when Mama and Abah were off to hajj, the leader of the house was supposed to be him, NOT me. But would any of us look up to him? Na-ah! Sorry naik lorry kate budak sekolah rendah.. Only those in our household KNOW why.. Not many people know of this story, I've only told them to one or two people, I guess, and I never really thought of saying it to other people.. but right this moment, I DO have some things to clarify..

He sure had a lot of activites.. what activities, don't ask me. But PFS is only half an hour away from home, one hour tops and he'd arrive home at 11 or 12pm.. go figure! I never questioned his activities, as long as he's home when I wanna go to bed was enough for me as well, I've known him for so long, and even if I don't really know him, I know what pushes his button and what doesn't.. and apparently, he thought I was stupid enough to believe his school activites ended at 10.00pm (yeah right..!) so I just let him believe that I trusted him.

And oh, yeah, right! About his female seniors from a religious school (cakap je la AlMashoor (P)) calling him 'sissy'.. let just say one thing, at school, I'm not a 'lagend' like he claims to be in his school but I'm not actually a nobody in mine. Still, my relationship with my seniors weren't as close as my relationship with my juniors, therefore, what the hell would I be doing telling everyone I had a sissy brother? Tak ke itu hanye mamalukan diri saya sendiri (and just FYI, I never called him a 'sissy', never even THOUGHT he was one *wonder how come dia terase sendiri? Haha*.. he's the one who loves to use that on Ikram coz Ikram never fought back whenever he hit Ikram)

Hey, I know those girls he were talking about. Cute seniors at my school (and he has this weakness for cute people, pursuing them cam hape even if they were 3-4 years older than him.. once even pursued my own friend.. cett!) so I guess dia yang terase coz those seniors DON'T EVEN KNOW I EXIST! Bongok tul la adik aku ni.. nak wat citer pun, investigate la the facts dulu!!! Haaa, kan dah kuar 'aku'..

This person is gonna pay for the humiliation and ‘the damage’ done. <-- banyak cantik muke hang! You digged your own grave.. but we'll come to that later

.. :'(

I used to wonder what it meant to feel like 'butter being spread on too much bread'. Not that I'm saying its what I feel, but I guess I was feeling a bit upset yesterday.

I just wish some people would understand that even though some days you can find me absorbed in my Neopets games, I still have days where I'm busy and have things to do, even if those days don't come that often anymore..

Recently, a friend got some good news and all of us were happy for her. I even promised to help her in these early stages as I really wanted her be happy with what she had just got because she's been waiting for something like this for the last few months now.. but I guess, I should've said, I'd help her ONLY if I was free..

Yesterday morning, I had promised Dr Farhan to meet up with him for a discussion on my PhD (?) so as I was getting ready, this friend texted me asking me to help her on something. I was feeling a bit torn now as I remembered that I had promised to help her but yesterday I had this line up of tasks I had to do.. meet Dr Farhan, complete the travel claims (had to discuss with kak Hafsah as I didn't know the current 'value' of my mileage and we became a bit confused on the figures as my status was a bit 'undetermined'.. and those who know the 'office' would understand why this is a problem haha..) for June and July for myself, then helping Erwan do his (too lazy ah guys!), submit the claims and go see Leong (Dr), fax something to the IPS, print a few more pages of a friends thesis as abg Joe wanted them by the end of the day and send a parcel through the post office while checking the postal fees for a few letters I had to send (eversince Pos Malaysia changed the fees, I've had a hard time keeping up with it.. I mean, what happened to 30 cents for every letter? Now its sometimes 50 cents, sometimes 60 cents.. suke hati korg je ek?).

I told her about my upcomiong day and that I'd try to finish up my tasks as quickly as possible and then take her wherever she wanted to go, but I had doubted I'd be able to finish it up quickly. I was even feeling disturbed when she just answered, "K".. hahah, this because it being my standard answer when I was feeling hurt and trying my best not to type something that would hurt the other person as well.. (kirenye terase sbb sendiri klau wat camtu, means I'm upset la kot hahah..)

The meeting with Dr Farhan didn't last long but the other tasks consumed some time as the printer was making quite a fuss (Fared was using it earlier with no problem at all!) and I had to print a whole lot of things too. I didn't even get to warm my seat at my cube as I was constantly going up and down the stairs at the school.

Apart from that, I wasn't feeling quite well. Been feeling a bit feverish since the past few days and my head was pounding all day long. It didn't help that it was Friday and the offices were closed at 12.00pm so I had to wait till 2.45pm.

But finally at 4.00pm, everything was done and I got to sit down. But just as I was sitting down, I remembered my friend and quickly went to her asking about the help she had asked me earlier.

Well, I was already a bit tired by now. I didn't have time to get any lunch and my breakfast consist of 2 fishballs wrapped in pastry ONLY. My head was pounding even more loudly and quickly and I was hungry and exhausted and weary and all that, but remembering how happy my friend was of the news, I knew I had to go to her and ask about it.

But when I went to her, not only did she not wanna look at me, she ignored me completely even when I directed my questions towards her. I was feeling a bit hurt but ignored it, being tak malu and still asking if I could help her the next day, even telling her my plan of it as I had a class too. What she did was, fold her arms and tell everyone around us very loudly that if she knew this (she didn't actually specify what 'this' was, saying something like, "Kalau tau camni..") was gonna happen, it was better she didn't accept the offer and just go back to her home town. I was a bit hurt as I was the one who had encouraged her to try her luck here, I had earlier even pretended to scold her if she didn't wanna just give it a try.. :(

When I asked her why she said that, she just said, "Takde pa pe.."

But then she repeated that she wanted to go back to her hometown saying, "Nak balik ****** la camni. Klu tau jadi camni, baik tak payah. Bukannye ade orang nak tolong pun"

I was feeling like crying by then. Luckily, I remembered that I hadn't went up to see abg Joe yet so I excused myself and hurried upstairs, all the while wishing she would understand that I couldn't just leave all my work for her, especially since I was dealing with Dr Farhan (my supposedly future supervisor), Leong (my senior who is a lecturer, help me a lot in my M.Sc.. and Leong had to send the report this week so I still had to see her yesterday anyway) and abg Joe (who had kindly agreed to help me that day and even a lot of times before.. even let me use the laminator and photostat machine for free sometimes)

Its not that I didn't wanna help, but I was busy.. and when I had told her of my plan for the next day (today), she just pretended to be abosorbed in the computer screen another friend was doing and kept telling me, "Tengok dulu". When I told her I have to plan early as I can't leave my class, she made this annoyed face that hurt me even more.. :( I mean, EVERYONE knows my classes are my main source of income and that I can't just leave a class like that as I usually have to find a replacement before I can leave a class..

I left the school feeling upset but was cheered up by my class who have somehow gone into a happy mode (as opposed to the depressed mode they've been using quite a lot nowadays as it gets nearer to thier PMR), making me laugh.

But then, that night I had promised kak Yun to go with her to watch Harry Potter.. My class ended at 6.45 and she made me promise to arrived at her house at 7.00 (aiyak, mandi kambing la saya camni..) but, as expected, I was late. She called as I was pulling on my jeans and I panicked, knowing how kak Yun is with time. Drove as fast as I could to her house, with my hijab worn carelessly, being pinless with the pins, my watch and my bracelet in my pockets. Just threw some money in my bag and only arranged the money in my purse as we were on our way. Thank goodness I wasn't driving as I took the time to wear my hijab as presentable as possible while kak Yun was driving.. and a good thing that the pounding in my head started to slow down as I relaxed.

I really wanted to sleep.. tp nak mampus kene marah ngan kak Yun hehe..

Nway, I enjoyed the movie.. though I like the book better :)

However, this morning, I woke up to a dream of losing not only one tooth, but two. Old folks tales say, dreaming of losing a tooth means there a death in the near future.. how bout two? *shudders* I never really believed in this stuff, but losing a lot of things recently have actually made me feel a bit afraid of it.. But its just a dream, kan?

Thursday, July 12, 2007


You know, I was driving along back from the main campus this noon, and maybe I was feeling a bit off and upset.. maybe! Then, as my mind was pondering on some thoughts, I noticed the sky turning grey and before long, the pitter patter of rain was seen across my windshield. I know, this is a normal scenario, but I suddenly remembered what abg Fadzil had told me..

"Ayu, hang tau dak satu benda? Aku boleh tau mood hang dengan senang ja.."

"Macam mane?"

"Klau mendung ja kat luaq, hang pun mendung laaa.. tak caya, cuba hang tengok!"

(This was around the time I WAS quite mendung for quite some time)

..and I found myself smiling haha! Yeah right, if I could just control the weather using my mood, huh? Hehe..

Anyway, on a lighter note, lets talk about the convo :D

Got an offline message from Soraya excitedly talking about her convo with Tan Sri Razali, whom she had written about in her blog a few entries ago (few ke?). As for me, I get to go on stage on the first day of USM's Convo, on the 15th of August this year (Baizurah, nak bungaaaaa.. :p. I'm not just saje² writing about this hehe..)

Truth is, I haven't really been looking forward to this year's convo as only me and Erwan would be from the Civil Eng. school for the research mode. Han and Quazzi, though supposedly graduating with us have gone back to their respective countries and have already told us they won't be coming for the ceremony..

Looking back on my convo for my degree, it was more exciting. The preparation and the day itself was superb and I went thorugh the few pictures I had scanned --> here (up there is a picture of me on my 1st convo, btw!). I guess it was not only because it was our first convo, but also because we were graduating with friends (all 800 of them from the engineering campus) from our own batch whom we've ate and slept with for 3 years. This time though, I had thought I'd be graduating alone.. :(

I didn't even search for an appropriate baju (haha, compared to the 1st convo where we were spoilt for choice) and haven't even went to look for proper shoes (takkan nak pakai sandal kot!). For my 1st convo, I even took nearly two months preparing the gifts for my friends, prefering the personal touch to bought items (thats why it took so long haha..) but this time, I haven't even listed down (ceh, if only me and Erwan graduating, who else am I supposed to list down.. and since I'm not close to Erwan, cam konvo sensorg je laa..) compared to every year doing it for my juniors :D

However, this morning, when I went for Dr Farhan's signature, while going through the forms he was supposed to sign, he asked me..

"Baju konvo dah beli?"

..which I didn't answer at first but just laughed at thinking how I haven't even thought about it. The thought lingered all through my time at the IPS, where I went to after seeing him, but by the time I left the IPS, as I said, I was feeling a bit upset, I guess so my mind abandoned the thought..

Then, after the rain thingey I talked about earlier, I went to Queensbay to pick up something I had ordered and since it was still early for lunch at home, decided to just walk around. To my suprise, most gift shops were already selling gifts for graduation.. well, the graduation 'season' IS coming up anyway.

I've always loved gifts, be it receiving them or giving them and I found myself drawn to these shops, mentalling ticking away names and gifts AND PRICES (tu tak leh la lupa kaaan hehe.. kang lari budget baru tau!) and before long, I found myself more in the spirit of graduating than I've been for months.. especially when finally realizing, this year, I'm actually not gonna be graduating alone.. yeay!!!

Back home, I told Mama about the date of my convo and another yeay here when I pouted saying I didn't have any shoes, she asked me if I wanted her to buy them hahah.. Ayu sangat jahat! :)

Even Ikram was looking forward to it, but was a bit worried if he didn't get a workleave on that particular day..

So now, I guess I am looking forward to my convo.. at least a bit la :)

Hmm.. but lets see what'll happen in the next few days, huh :) :) :)

Salimin and Falha had given me this piece of cloth for my birthday and maybe, if I still don't have time to search for one, this would be my baju (maybe?).. one thing though, its nearly the same colour as the baju I wore for my first convo.. :D

Friday, July 06, 2007

Terbaik Untuk Mu

Terbaik Untukmu- Tangga

Aku sadar kalau kini
Kita sudah smakin menjauh
Sempat aku berfikir ini
Kau yg menginginkannya
Lepas dari pelukku

* Oh kini aku sedari
Ini salahku
Tak ingin ku terlambat dan sesali

reff: Maafkanlah bila ku selalu
Membuatmu marah dan benci padaku
Ku lakukan itu semua
Hanya untuk buatmu bahagia

Mungkin ku cuma tak bisa fahami
Bagaimana cara tunjukkan maksudku
Aku cuma ingin jadi, terbaik untukmu

Aku ingin kau tetap di sini, bersamaku
Jangan Pergi
Berikan satu kesempatan
Untuk ku membuktikan
Sesungguhnya cintaku

repeat *
repeat reff

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Yesterday and today

Malam semalam, otw ke tuition, tetibe teringatkan Sentot.. tatau nape..

Then.. Teet.. teet.. teet.. aisey, msg masuk plak mase tgh drive ni.

Tengok², memang cik Siti Nur Baizurah kite yang anto.. silap, PUAN!

Dia bgtau dia suke lagu Maroon 5 yang lirik ade dlm blog ni a few entries ago hehe.. mesti la besh, sebab tu la saya masukkan kat sini, Baizurah :) Nice song kan.. and nice lyrics too!

Dia forward sekali this message I wrote to her yg dah berkurun, mesti time dia baru bertunang dulu coz it sounded something like this, "Tengah dating hahaha.. lagipun tak mo kawan ngan org yg dah bertunang =p"

Sekarang awak dah kawen pun Baizurah.. tp message tu ade lagi ye :)


Then mase kelas, ade budak baru masuk.. well, so I thought la! Turned out, budak yang penah I ajar last year.. tp mak oiii, suda tinggi!!! Heheh.. dulu Afif tu selalu je giggle dalam kelas, selalu kene tegur, then songkok plak tak pernah lekang kat kepala. Tetibe semalam, dah la muke dah lain, songkok pun dah takde. When I asked him, dia sengih je kate, "Dah ilang la, teacher!"

Tapi serius, tinggi giler dah dia.. dulu ketot je.. (kate kat orang, Ayu ni tak sedo diri tul hehe..)


Pas kelas, gi tuition, nak on pc tapi nmpk Remy tgh sibuk bace thesis Erwan hehe.. Dia takut viva dia, pastu bace thesis orang lain plak. Bace plak thesis yang examiner punye, mesti la byk correction, saje nak menakutkan diri sendiri la budak tu..

Saje sembang ngan dia.. last², tak sempat bukak pc pun. Then ajak Abdullahi makan and diorg sibuk la sembg pasal viva coz Abdullahi pun Jumaat ni kan. Minggu ni memang minggu viva. Diri sendiri pun rase cam teringat je time viva dulu, camne tak leh tido nye the whole night hehe.. malam ari Selase tu pun tak ley tido.. cam lawak, orang lain yg nak viva, tapi Ayu yang tak leh tido whole night heheh.. cam replaying my own viva :D

Balik minum, bukak pintu and comment la kat Remy, "Awat rasa lain ja bila bukak pintu ni?". Then baru perasan, pintu dah tak bising laaaa.. Heheh, kate Remy, ade orang dah buh minyak kat the door, so skrg, takde la bile nak kuar bilik postgrad, satu bilik tu leh dengo bunyi pintu yang cam spooky house punye pintu je..


Pagi tadi plak, bangun kul baper tah. Sempat anto satu message then ttido balik.. bangun.. tido balik.. ish, dah jadik malas balik. Sampai la dapat this mimpi.. Erkk, tak suke la mimpi² camni..

Like the dream I got a few months ago. Tapi mase mimpi yg dulu tu, I datang kat school tgk orang bace Yassin for a friend and I was the only one yang tak leh accept ade kawan tu dah takde, jenuh sumer orang pujuk suh accept but I didn't want to. Siap marah sumer org lagi sebab cakap camtu and bgn² tu tgk mate pun basah sebenonye, nangis betul plak jadi nye.. tp mimpi kali ni cam bende same jadi.. bezenye, Ayu dah boleh accept (the same friend plak tu yang dikatekan dah takde) dan tengah bace Yassin, tapi orang lain plak sumer tak leh accept and tanak bacekan Yassin.. sampai nangis² dalam mimpi tu ajak sumer org bace Yassin. Tapi sumer orang tanak.. :(

Astaghfirullah! Tak mau dah mimpi² macam tu.. lege sangat bile bangun and sedo bende tu tak betul. Trus tamau tido dah pastu.


Bawak bekal gi school sebenonye. Grilled cheese and tomato sandwich, first time wat gune kuali hehe.. tp ni memang antara my favourite sandwiches :D Tak gi ikut diorang lunch pun, w/pun Fared tersenyum suke sebab abis viva, makan je bekalan (rase cam sekolah² dulu balik plak)

Then, dalam petang tu, tetibe Dgon msg suh turun. Upenye ade kenduri durian kat lab Geomatic hehe.. bes²! Ayu sangat jarang makan durian sebenonye.. tp bile mam ramai², macam menarik kan :) Technicion, kerani², lecturer² and muke² nyibuk kitorg memenuhkan lab tu.. panggil Remy sekali sbb tau dia antu durian skit.. Kak G ngan kak Hafsah wat bubur kacang campur durian, then sapentah bwk pulut sekali.. tp Ayu amik durian 2-3 ulas je hehe.. seronok tgk org makan sebenonye.. Duk gelak² ngan kak Ros yg duk usik Shahril yg sopan itu :D

Tengah² makan, Dr Farhan pun join.. aiyak! Heheh.. he's my mentor, the best I ever had tapi selalu je takut jumpe dia hehe.. Abg Shidi ampeh, saje panggil name org kuat²! Hahah, sian Dr, nape la student dia ni suke lari dari dia ek? Padehal, kunun nak smbg PhD ngan dia.. Ayu²~~


Hmm.. sebenarnye tak paham je tujuan entry ni hehe.. and jugak tak paham, nape entry ni dalam BM ye?