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Friday, July 14, 2006

Another insight


Quickie: What you need to do is obvious. There are no more excuses, it's time to take action.

Overview: The more you focus on a competitor, the quicker you'll lose sight of your real goal. It's time to examine where your real interests lie. It's time to reenergize your sense of purpose. Pay attention to the task at hand.

Daily extended (by Astrology.com) Like a neon arrow flashing and sirens blaring, what you need to do today is terribly obvious. The fact is, if you've been waiting for push to come to shove, your wait is over. Push has definitely grown into shove by now. You'll be sure about your actions, but they might require you to step out of your personality comfort zone. It's true: Being more aggressive or domineering isn't easy. But it's something you simply must do if you want to get somewhere (or get something started) with someone.

Erk.. okay la! Not really should believe in astrology but todays horoscope sure says something about my state of mind right now. Something I should've done weeks ago, tapi tatau la, asyik nak tangguh je.. maybe mengenangkan banyak bende yang sangat sayang untuk ditinggalkan if I go on with it.

*sigh*

I'm confused! Yesterday, I received another call, urging me. But I DO know what I should do, cume maybe pushing my luck to put if off till the last minute.. haha, very 'mature' la, Ayu! When I look around, I see so many things that sorta pull me back, but before sleeping, my mind clearly tells me what I should do and I know I always agree with my head though my heart might say likewise.. but then again, my heart has always felt it hard to let go and to forget and to move on.

Still, today I'm gonna do it.. am I? I really should do it.. shouln't I? I'm determined to settle it today.. am I sure about it?

I dunno, if I know I should do this, why do I still feel so sad..

Friday, July 07, 2006

Amused!

Okay, this is an 'even-Im-confused-of-myself' entry! Hehe, but not in an 'Im-mad-at-myself' way.. more like an 'Im-as-amused-as-you-are' type of entry haha..

Where shall I start?

A few weeks ago, with the starting of the World Cup, I retreated back into my I-cant-understand-football self like I always do whenever it comes to soccer. I had planned to ignore the World Cup buzz as I had done 4 years ago and had almost managed to get away with it when I realized that I was staying in the post graduate room, full of football fans! Aiseh..

It didn't help with matters that Lil' Success kept talking about it and if at first I had listened like masuk telinge kanan, kuar telinge kiri, by the starting of the World Cup, I was interested enough to at least pay attention to the final scores in every game.. besides, I still had my thesis to think of so I wasn't really THAT concerned about 11 sweaty shorts-clad guys (handsome takpe gak..) chasing a black and white ball all around the field.

Ahaaaa.. but that was where the confusion starts!

Pre-thesis submitting
I didn't really HATE soccer, just wasn't interested enough. But still, whenever My Lil' Success excitedly reported on what was happening on the field, it was infectious enough to make me REALLY curious, but not attractive enough to make me leave my thesis. Still, whenever I received an 'sms update', I'd leave whatever chapter I was correcting and clicked here, to read about the updates of the game myself.

Then, a few matches later found me asking questions I thought never interested me, but hey, I didn't understand half of what I was reading so of course la I'd ask. Good thing I had a great and patient teacher who'd answer even the most stupid question I asked :-) Then to my surprised, I finally understood what I was reading and it bought an odd kind of satisfaction to me.

Still, my thesis was the reason of me staying up till 5 am..

Post-thesis submitting
Ok.. first I blamed it on my hay wire sleeping pattern. Eversince I had been concentrating on my thesis, I've been staying up till the wee hours of the morning, then wake up a bit late (not really wanted to wake up late as I still had a lot to do!).

Then after submitting, I still couldn't control the pattern of my sleep. I wasn't tired until 5am, and thus, this leads to me watching anything on TV.. guess what IS on TV anyway? Hehe.. okay, okay, maybe I'm trying to blame my sleeping pattern, but the truth is, the 'seed of interest' has been planted by some individual (yup, I'm blaming SOMEONE else hehe..!) and has somehow started to grow inside me.

Arrrgghhhh..

Kate Misa, "Ayu tengok bola?"

Iskk.. iyer Misa! The 'sad' truth of it all haha..

And to my surprise, I enjoyed some of the games.. okay then, MOST of the games.. though there are some games that make me sleepy, but not sleepy enough to send me sleeping. And though I've curi² watched some games before (during the thesis writing.. alaaa, balik kul 4am, sempat gak tengok a bit kaannn?!), I never imagined I'd never miss even one game after I submitted my thesis haha..

Even the Astro-only games (ade 2 je pun after I submitted my thesis!) I didn't miss both and even watched one of it at the Mamak's haha.. Well, I didn't see that coming either, it was a spur of the moment decision where me, Izati and Iskandar went to 3 shops before returning to the first one, and by then I had missed 8 minutes of the game.. shoot!

Anyway, I DO feel a bit amused of myself. Kutuk bukan main lagi ari tu but suddenly I'm the one who's NOT missing any game.

Well, people change.. err, right?!?

Na'ah.. its only for the World Cup.. trust me!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

This I Swear - Nick Lachey

You're there by my side
In every way
I know that you would not forsake me
I give you my life
Would not think twice
Your love is all I need believe me

I may not say it quite as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
So open up your heart and let me in

And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear

I'm wondering how I ever got by
Without you in my life to guide me
Where ever I go the one thing that's true
Is everything I do I do for you

I may not say it quite as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
So open up your heart and let me in

And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear

So whenever you get there
Just reach out for me
I'll never let you down my love

And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear


Heheh.. suddenly I'm listening to this song for the tenth time in a row.. pasaipa ntah! Lagu lembik kate Izati hahah.. Takpe² Ti, nanti kak yong cari sape nak tolong nyanyi lagu ni kat kak Yong heheh..