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Sunday, February 12, 2006


I'm beginning to get comfy with my rollercoaster emotions that have gone up (and down) a few (hundred) notches eversince I started my writing up. COMFY? Yup, comfy! Hahah, why comfy huh? Because I no longer feel alarmed whenever I realize I'm laughing one moment and crying the other one (as opposed to this suspicion of having a double-personality disorder, like I feared earlier haha!)

But along with that, I've noticed how much I've developed some bad habits. For example, I think (more like I'm sure) I'm having some kind of sleep disorder. I mean, eversince my school years, its always been hard for me to go back to sleep after Subuh prayers (complimentary of Abah who couldn't stand seeing us back in our beds once we've got up for Subuh!). Even while I was staying in Desa Lembaran, I used to take long walks around the campus after Subuh since my roomates almost certainly fell asleep after praying, leaving me all alone with nothing to do.

And though I've almost always stayed up late at night, eversince staying with kak Kathy and kak Shima, I've kinda disciplined myself to sleep early since they sleep early too and it'll seem funny to talk to myself after they've gone to bed! So my sleeping pattern for the past 3 years have been the same (sleep at 12.30am and waking up at 6.15am).

However, now I don't feel sleepy until nearly 4.00am in the morning. I shouldn't really be suprised as I spend my nights in the post-graduate room (sometimes till 3.00am) for my thesis. This leads to feeling sleepy after Subuh that 'forces' me to sleep and there has been more than one occasion where I wake up after 12.00pm. Tu tak masuk lagi masa untuk guling² atas katil lagi tu!

So yeah.. I'm a bit worried but I guess I have to put that worry on hold UNTIL I finally submit my thesis. A bit frustrating though, for example, last Friday I was supposed to meet my supervisor but until 5.00am, I couldn't sleep a wink, forcing me to drag myself outta my bed at nearly 6.50am for Subuh prayers and to get ready. I arrived at the school at 7.45am, wanting to quickly meet my supervisor then go back home BUT unfortunately, he forgot to inform me he was GOING TO KL! And there I was, looking stupid waiting for someone who's NOT coming.. Pojie had to endure my moaning about it over our weekly nasik lemak, though! Hehe, sorry Bro..

Speaking about nasik lemak, my eating habits have also changed. And this really worries me as I don't want to have another 10kg added to my already 'abundant' weight! My breakfast time is already demolished la kan, since I wake up late sekarang ni, but I manage to squeeze in a hot cup of milo (konon leh ganti breakfast la tu..). Then I go to the school (if I go la..) and have lunch with Yun and Nasrin, tu pun kalau sempat. But if I don't, I'll be hunting for kuih after 3 o'clock and end up with A LOT of kuih or buns.

I also get hungry in the middle of the night and have quite a hard time trying to NOT think about being hungry. Then when I wake up the next morning, my tummy would growl as if it hasn't had any food for days, thus the milo haha..

Even my dinner has gone higgledy-piggledy! If I have time, I'd eat a lot, but if I'm rushing for my nightly tuition classes, I might skip dinner entirely. However, sometimes, after classes I'd go hunting for tosei masala (after 10.oo pm, mind you!) <-- very bad here!

*sigh* I guess I just hafta try my best to curb these habits from staying permanently with me, huh?

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