About a crush Pt. 2

I just read Nomi's latest entry. Hahah, I guess I've been giving everyone an overdose of MBC, why else would she've wrote,"syok ada sumber inspirasi ni kan. semua benda yang kita nak buat bersemangat...hmmm...agaknya...sebab tu ler kak ayu rajin basuh kete ek?rajin gi kafe...rajin gi skool...??? ye kan KAK AYU??? :-p"

Hehe, tapi betul la Nomi, entry Nomi tu buat akak senyum sorang²! Then teringat pulak kat kawan² who used to say,"Kami ingat hang tak dak perasaan!" Just because I don't seem to be interested in anyone.. well, for THOSE friends, this entry is dedicated specially for you..

Let me see; my first crush ever was this guy named James when I was 5 years old. I can still picture his crinkly eyes whenever he smiled. I don't remember if we were in the same class but he always came to talk with me and whenever we played dressing up, he was always my partner. Once, a few years back, I found a picture we took on our nature walks. He still looks cute, though he had a pouchy middle full of baby fat haha.. Wait a minute! Come to think about it, I don't remember if his name was James or Mark..

My second one was when I entered primary school. His name is Azlan (Haha, I can see you laughing Soraya!). I met him in standard one when we were in the same class (this was zaman pre-Soraya hehe..) Since we sat together and since we were both south-paws , we grew quite close as we (and Razil, another south paw) argued with everyone else that we were special and NOT freaks. However, halfway through the year we were 'separated' (Haa, ni baru masuk zaman Soraya) but I continued my crush on him until I learnt that everyone was teasing him with me everytime I passed his class. I should've been overjoyed, huh? But I freaked out (especially when his friends kept 'stalking' me -->kecik² dah pandai jadi stalker --> and I had to hide in the toilet sometimes, just to run away from them).

My third crush (sape ehhh..?) Haa, it must've been (alamak! Soraya's gonna laugh at me again) a boy who entered my class in standard 2. He was cute back then and a lot of my classmates were talking about him but truth is, I wasn't interested at first. That was until Adam started teasing me with him and kept asking if I liked that boy or not (To Soraya: Adam being Adam la kan.. the pest! Hahah..) However, it was a short-lived crush. As we grew closer as a group (him and me plus Soraya and Adam --> this is because of our love for books I guess.. we were forever swapping books with each other), he swore me to secrecy about the girl he liked at home and even showed me a picture of her (kecik² lagi dah pandai bercinta, siap tukar gambar lagi tu). And to think that I was the only one who knew.. ampeh!

The next one was when I was in standard 4, I think. To a standard 6 senior. He was a prefect and kept asking about me to my friends. I didn't like him at first coz he was painfully shy. But I guess, when a guy is shy, he's adorable (I've always felt that way eversince!). Tapi ape la nama dia eh.. dah tak ingat la.. But because of him, I was always neat and tidy haha.. cam Nomi kata, semua benda pun bersemangat!

In standard 5, I had a crush on another senior. This I remember the name: Nizam! To my suprise, Muazzah also had a crush on the same person and we were forever 'fighting' over him. During the end-of-the year prize giving ceremony, this guy was one of the 'Panca Sitara' performance by the standard sixers so me and Muazzah would be fighting to sit in front, just looking at him haha.. Once, I caught him smiling at me and was gloating happily to Muazzah, only to learn that he was teasing his friend who konon² liked me.. cehhh!! Buang karan jaaa..

Masa darjah 6, ade tak eh? I don't think I liked anyone in standard 6, I felt the guys were too boyish I guess. Even in my secondary school, I don't remember having a crush on anyone.. ade tak eh?

No wait, I don't know if you can count this as a crush but in form 5, I had this classmate during tuition. I really hated him as he was always sneering at me everytime our tutors praised me (Yup! Unbelieveably, I was a very good girl back then.. always made my teachers proud of me! Sekarang, macam hampeh je..). We only had Maths and English together but that was enough to make me bersemangat pegi tuition just to prove that I wasn't just all praises. I don't really think it was a crush, but I've always wondered, why the hell did I wanna prove anything to that guy anyway?

During matriculation, I had another crush on a friend, but aiyooo, this is too dangerous to reveal here as he might read it and I'm not giving him the pleasure of knowing it. As you might know, I hated matriculation as I wanted to go to UIA but he was one of reasons that made me like it a tiny bit. When my friends told me that he said I was cute, haha, I was on cloud nine.. serious punya suka! But lets just say, the infatuation didn't last long.. And nope, not telling more here as, like I said, its too 'dangerous'!

How about my undergraduate years? Hmmm.. never really had a real crush here as I was too shy to even look around. Maybe I liked the look of one or two people, but once I got to know them, I won't feel as excited a I initially was. Like this guy I wrote about in one of my earlier entries.. the 'bad boy' one. When people started to notice him, I started watching him too, and like I said, the bad boy image he had attracted a lot of attention. However, once he started taking a little bit of interest in me, the feelings I once had instantly turned neutral and I didn't exactly feel anything after that! Hmmm, maybe Yokies was right when he said.. never mind what he said!

The most severe one was to IM. It wasn't just a crush, but it was more than that. I laugh when I think of all the stupid things I did back then. Like I wrote to Nomi, "Hehe.. tetiba teringat kisah dedulu.. Nomi lah ni!Dulu kene tgk gak motor dia sblm p keje, klau tak, rasa tak sedap ati jek.. pastu bile balik, mesti tgk tingkap bilik dia, w/pun tak semestinya dia ada kat bilik tu.. pastu, tgk school dia pun rasa cam dpt tgk dia hahah..Pastu selalu siapkan keje cepat², sebab tau mlm² mesti online ngan dia w/pun siang tu dah sembang.. pastu, klau ujung minggu je, lepas pukul 10mlm tak bg sesapa call (klau ade org call, buat² tak perasan), sebab nnt dia nak call.. siap charge phone sampai full tuh sbb tak mau bateri abis masa tgh sembg ngan dia..Pastu pagi² nak pegi keje, kene control sbb klau tak nnt mesti dapat msg dia dok kutuk kata akak jln melelong ka apa ka.. tu kire sama time ngan dok jeling moto dia la..Heheh.. lawak la pulak bile pk skrg..*dia* = tiada kene mengena ngan MBC.."

And that is just a teeny weeny bit of it!!!

But, well, it was very teruk la. I lost interest in ANYONE else after our fight and couldn't help thinking of him everyday for THE PAST 3 YEARS!!! Gosh, I DON'T EVER wanna feel THAT way again! *shudders*

On a lighter note, the most recent one is the one I''ve been shouting about kot.. no need for elaboration there but lets just see how long it'll last!

Haha.. see, I'm not totally takdak perasaan, apa! Maybe I'm just good at hiding it all from you guys, huh?

*Alamak, tetiba je rasa: Gatal jugak aku nih!!!*