Today

Today..

.. I'm gonna wallow DEEP into self-pity for everything that has happened!
.. I'm gonna go through each and everything that has hurt me especially in the past year!
.. I'm gonna let myself be mad at those I should've been mad ages ago!
.. I'm gonna list out all the useless things I've done!
.. I'm gonna let myself cry out all those tears I've tried to hide all this while!
.. then I'm gonna sleep off this fever I've been having the past few days!
.. and I'll wake up just to feel sorry for myself again, and as much as possible!
.. but just for today!

Why?

Because..
.. tomorrow is a new day!
.. tomorrow is a new month!
.. tomorrow is a new year!
.. and by tomorrow, I hope all of the above would leave me alone now so I'd be able to really take good care of all the good memories and special things that I once had, already and still have AND that I WILL have!

Its New Year's Eve everyone..

And a Happy New Year to all :)

..con't

"Ayu, jgn lupa tgk spice girls return ari ni, 7.30pm ntv7"

I got this sms from Ami in the wee hours of Monday but since Dgon was with me, it didn't register much with me, at first..

Then, when I got to school, Ami, my old and 'bestest' buddy, was online so we had a long talk about our lives and all that. with her, I always feel as if I'm 13 again. The giggling and whisperings don't make us look like 27-year-olds and I was reluctant to stop chatting with her at 5.30 but since I had promised to send Dgon along with her sister and brother to the bus station, I had to cut our 3-hour conversation short (short?).

Anyway, when I got back home, I realized I was about to iftar alone as my housemate was still at her hometown. I plonked myself in front of the tv after Maghrib prayers and begun to dig into my Zinger when I switched on the said program Ami had asked me to watch.

Since I was still quite engrossed in my burger, I didn't realize I was singing along with the Spice Girls hahah..

You see, on Monday I had written about my love for one of the first boy bands, BSB.. I guess I forgot to mention, I was also into girl power hehehe.. Those were the chart toppers during my schooling years and since I was still a teenager, of course I loved them and their bubblegum and candy cane tunes.

Spice Girls was actually Ami and Ezrin's fav group but somehow, they managed to rope me into the gazillion fans of Spice Girls. In fact, fyi, I have won Spice Girl contests 2 or 3 times. Mostly I won CDs. Once it was their Spice Up Your Life single and another time it was their full album (which I had sadly lost when I had moved from my old rented house to my current one). I also won their stickers and the so-called limited edition (It was ALSO sold in Sunshine.. duh!!! Limited edition la sangaaaaat!) Impulse body spray (2 cans, mind you!).

During this time, as president of the English Society, I was responsible in the Youth Quake (remember that paper from NST for teens?) subscription for the school, kununnye to help the students in their english. Well, we subscribed to Star or NST, compulsary for each class but which teenanger ACTUALLY reads those page to page? Okay², I actually read NST page to page at home, but that was the geek me! So, Youth Quake was our answer to that :) However, imagine my embarassment when almost the whole school, teachers included (we have a very small student body, around 600 students and 40 teachers only, if my mind serves me correctly!), noticed MY name in the Spice Girls contest results!!! Haha, my name is kinda unique so I can't pretend it was someone else AND I was the one responsible for the subscription. Oooohhh, sangat malu! A role model I turned out to be, huh hahaha..

Well, that was a 10-years-ago incident :) And I still smile when I remember how I avoided my teachers' (especially Mrs Phun, our society advisor AND my english teacher!) gaze for weeks!

And yes, I still find those old Spice Girls songs as one of my favourites.. proven when I could sing along to all songs (except their new single) in that show haha :)

So yeay! Go boy bands and girl power, huh!!! (Sheeshhh, now I'd rather be caught dead than admit THAT hahahahah..!)

Anyway, on a totally different note..

I got a Christmas present yesterday! Well, technically, its supposed to be my birthday (?) present.. a two-year-old birthday present hahah! Two years ago, my friend Long, wanted to give me a birthday present. He even told me he had bought this teddy bear for me but didn't now how to send it. I always told him it was ok, its the thought that counts but once in a while, he'd talk about the still-kept birthday present.

Last week, he told me his sister was in town so he'd give it to his sister. I had already forgotten about it and told him to forget it. Well, actually it was because I'm not really comfortable with people I don't know and I had NEVER talked to Long during my undergraduate years when we were still coursemates. He was in this group that I kinda avoided (not because they were bad or something, but mostly because I was a quiet and shy girl then <--okay, my new friends might NOT believe this hahah!) and towards our final year, they liked to tease me a bit with this guy in their group. So its only now that I sorta chat with him. But then, I still think I'd avoid meeting him (or the other guys in his group) coz somehow, with my old friends, I'm still a bit of the timid girl. Anyway, I also didn't want his sister to think that there was something going on between us (which Long told me she eventually did.. duh!!) so I didn't really want her to come here just to give me the gift.

Still, she came.. and I got my gift! A teddy bear which turned out to be a pretty light purple bracelet.. and I love it! Most of my new (READ: new=post-bachelors degree, old=pre-bachelors degree) friends know I love bracelets (thus resulting me getting thoughtful suprise gifts from them when its not my birthday like the one Remy gave me when he went for his second honeymoon -a bracelet I'm wearing right now!- and the silver princess-crown bracelet Ana gave me recently as well a this cute pink one given by Yun) but the old ones (except Dayah who always bought me bracelets whenever she went anywhere even during our undergraduate years) don't really know so I was kinda suprised.. but I love it! Mekasih Long :)

And ooohhh, forgot to tell you. I had also got a raya gift recently, from Farah. Heheh, she had gone to Padang Besar with her family recently and when she came back, she suprised me during my tuition class by giving me this three-chains-of-stone kinda bracelet. My students ooohh and aaahh at the shiny object since they were in class at that time.. and yes, I love this too! Thank you, Farah! :)

Mama said to me when I showed Farah's bracelet to her, "Suke beno your friends bagi gelang ye.."

And I told her, "Nak buat camne, my friends love me.. hahaha.." <--perasan gile!

Sedikit bosan..

Hmm.. nape la school kosong la plak arini? There's only me and Choong. Ooohh, the holiday blues makes things quiet around here.. Hmm..

Anyway, I recently checked my gmail account (which I really seldom check.. if the account could talk, I'm sure it'll tell me to make it feel a bit more useful than as the address for my PhD Comic feeds) and found an email from Aznor along with an attached MP3 file and lyrics. Feeling a bit confused, I scrolled down to read and smiled when I realized what it was.

A few weeks ago, I had gone blog-hopping (also an activity that I seldom do now especially during the, as Remy would put it, 'proses pemprofessoran') and had noticed these lyrics in her blog. Since the lyrics seemed so familiar, I had asked her about it and voila! Now I remember..

You see, me and Adi always laughed at Izati when she was obsessed with the Tomok-guy whom almost all adolescent girls wanted to marry light years ago. She pretended that she wasn't crazy bout him but her older sister and brother knew better and we would laugh at her whenever she tried her best not to look so excited whenever that Tomok-guy was on tv. However, her dear sister here is quite a hypocrite hahah..

And so, here I ashamedly admit that once upon a time ago in a far, far way land, I was crazy for the Backstreet Boys!

I must've bought all their albums (except their first, surprisingly!) right up until my final undergraduate year. The last album bought was Black & Blue or something to that effect.. and YES! I memorized ALL their songs heheh..

No wonder that song in Aznor blog seemed familiar heheh.. its one of the more memorable songs that I'm sure Un would also identify as she and Cik Wa were my allies in the BSB Mania (with Un being the leader heheh..)

And to Aznor: Thanx for reminding me how I was also a glaze-eyed I'll-support-you-to-the-end superfan of boy bands hehehe.. :p

How Did I Fall In Love With You

Remember when, we never needed each other

The best of friends like

Sister and Brother

We understood, we'd never be,

Alone

Those days are gone, and I want you so much

The night is long and I need your touch

Don't know what to say

I never meant to feel this way

Don't want to be

Alone tonight

chorus:

What can I do, to make mine

Falling so hard so fast this time

What did I say, what did you do?

How did I fall in love with you?

I hear your voice

And I start to tremble

Brings back the child that, I resemble

I cannot pretend, that we can still be friends

Don't want to be,

Alone tonight

chorus:

can I do, to make you mine

Falling so hard so fast this time

What did I say, what did you do?

How did I fall in love with you?

Bridge:

Oh I want to say this right

And it has to be tonight

Just need you to know, oh yeah

I don't want to live this life

I don't want to say goodbye

With you I wanna spend

The rest of my life

chorus:

What can I do, to make you mine

Falling so hard so fast this

did I say, what did you do?

How did I fall in love with you?

What can I do, to make you mine

Falling so hard so fast this time

Everything's changed, we never knew

How did I fall, in love, with you?

*Gasps* A milestone for Ayu

Call it boredom, call it growing up.. but today I just realized something BIG!

I mean.. HUGE!

I mean REALLY MASSIVE here!!

Today, I discovered that I won't die if I don't eat my chips with vinegar. In fact, it tastes quite good just on its own mm-mmm!

Gosh! I seriously didn't know that.. did you?

Esok hari raye :)

Sheesshh.. if it wasn't for my class this afternoon, I'd be safely home right now. But as it is, I'm here in school with only the Iranians as company, while waiting for my class to start at 5.15pm. Lucky that I love that class of form 5 :) Besides, its not as if I have anything to look forward to anyway..

Met Dr Farhan otw up and he was suprised to see me still here.. I was itching to ask him the same thing hahah..

Right now, I'm looking at this plushie Izati bought for me, in the shape of a football. Yesterday abg Fadzil's came while I was cleaning up my cube and asked me, "Kenape Aman tak boleh tendang bola ni? Bola ni lembik sangat la.." Aiyaaaakkkk, its not for kicking la heheh.. Would have to be careful that Izati doesn't know about it, ngamuk la my lil' sis if she knows her present was about to be kicked around :D

God! I AM BORED!!! I wanted to talk about Sharil's yummy chocolate cake (that guy sure knows how to cook!) that he made for me again but right now I don't really have the mood for writing bout anything..

*sigh*

Raya blues, huh..

Well, have the best of raya for all of you.. till then, cheerio!!

P/S

For my cousin Nyah Zai: Bilenye tarikh tu? Bitau laaaaa.. leh wat pa pe ke.. *sambil² kutip berkat sepupu ku kawen duluuuuu :p*

Last Christmas

Hmm.. I'm here in this room listening to my favourite 'festival blues' song hahah.. I've been a great fan of this song eversince, what, I was 6? Huh, gile.. 21 tahun dah dengar lagu ni and still not tired of it, especially time² camni. Christmas je, mesti cari lagu ni heheh..

Bes²! I'm listening to this, and only this song from morning.. and I'm suspecting Choong ngan abg Fadzil dah menyampah asyik ulang lagu ni je heheh..

"My girl I thought you were, someone to rely on.. me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on lalalala.." Sape nak MP3, sile².. I'll be happy to send it to you guys heheh.. enjoy! (Again.. rasenye dah penah post entry pasal lagu ni last year and the year before hehehe..)

Last Christmas,

I gave you my heart

But the very next day,

You gave it away

This year,

to save me from tears

I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas,

I gave you my heart

But the very next day,

You gave it away

This year,

to save me from tears

I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy

I keep my distance but you still catch my eye

Tell me baby do you recognise me?

Well it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me

(Happy Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it

With a note saying "I Love You" I meant it

Now I know what a fool I've been

But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again

(CHORUS)(Oooh. Oooh Baby)

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes

I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice

My God I thought you were someone to rely on

Me?

I guess I was a shoulder to cry on

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart

A man undercover but you tore me apart

Oooh Oooh

Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again

(CHORUS)

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart

(Gave you my heart)

A man undercover but you tore me apart

Next yearI'll give it to someone,

I'll give it to someone specialspecialsomeonesomeone

I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special

who'll give me something in return

I'll give it to someone

hold my heart and watch it burn

I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special

I've got you here to stay

I can love you for a day

I thought you were someone special

gave you my heart

I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone

last christmas I gave you my heart

you gave it away

I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone

Uwaaaaa

Uhh.. ade sedikit perasaan keciwe! Hehehe.. adeh! Nak wat camne, takde rezeki.. rase padan muke pun ade hehehe..

A few days ago.. silap, a few weeks ago, Remy ade tanye pasal Prison Break episode yang latest. Sbnrnye, I didn't actually know if I had the latest ke tak, sbbnye, w/pun Lie dah bg episode² yang dia ade, lum tgk pun lagi huhu..

I AM a fan of Prison Break tapi tatau la nape kali ni cam liat skit nak tgk, sbb gang dah takde kot :( Tpnye, sibuk gak cari episode² baru kat sumer org and when I get it, dah content, tak tgk lagi pun takpe.. Ingt bebile leh wat marathon tgk sumer..

Anyway, aritu la, Lie amik my portable hardisk and save Prison Break 1~7 sekali ngan a few episodes of CSI (also my fav tv show!) and Criminal Mind (jugak adelah my favourite!) and Gossip Girl (tak penah tgk but Lie assured me it was interesting). Sbnrnye the portable hardisk was for my PhD nye purposes tp dah dirasmikan sbg tmpt simpan my fav tv shows hahah.. So sonok la jugak sbb ade sume citer² tu, tp tak cadang nak tgk pun lagi..

Then baper ari pastu Remy mntk citer² yg bleh ditengok sbb dia boring so instead of sending the files to him, I just left my portable hardisk kat tmpt dia and totally forgot about it..

Until a few minutes ago!

Tetibe rase boring and ingt nak start tgk Prison Break dari 1st episode. Tp bile pegi tmpt Remy, tgk² my portable hardisk dah takde. Ingt Remy bwk balik hostel ke so trus sms dia tanye where it was.

After a few minutes, Remy replied saying he thought it was Dr Ismail's so he had given it to Choong. I wasn't worried at this point sbb knowing that when Choong bukak bende alah tu n perasan ade my fav tv shows, dia mesti tau tu bukan dr Mail punye.. But still, I text him asking about it..

Then Choong called..

Cautiously he told me, "Ayu, saya dah format la bende tu!!!"

Uwaaaaaaaaaaaa..

Upenye he had called Dr Mail and somehow Dr Mail must have forgotten but he claimed that that was his. Then, Choong still feeling a bit odd told him that there were tv shows in it and nothing else and Dr Mail told him, yes, he kept tv shows in his portable hardisk too..

We had a good laugh over it.. though I felt a bit.. what do you say.. lost! Hahah..

Padan muke Ayu.. sape suh tamau tgk awal².. kan dah miss sume trus! Ngan Prison Breaknye, CSI nye, Criminal Minds nye..

Uwaaa, Lieeeee, akak nak citer² tu baliiiiiiiiiikkkkk!!!!

Padan muke Ayu!

Pengajaran: Len kali bile org bg tu, tgk cepat².. jgn dok simpan²!

Nasib²

Heheh..

Pagi tadi otw nak gi sch, singgah la kat kedai dekat ngan umah tu for my daily fix of Nescafe Latte dlm tin tu (Ohhhh, Ayu suda ketagih semuleeee!!) Then mase nak kuar kete, terperasan la 2 org budak dlm lebey kurang 7~8 tahun tengah baik je pakatnye, tunduk² sambil pilih chocolate kat kedai tu..

Somehow, something struck me as odd..

Pastu baru pasan, 2-2 budak tu pakai kain pelikat and trus senyum sorang² sbb dapat agak dah, mesti budak² ni baru dapat green light utk kuar umah pas berkhatan. Chumel je tgk memasing pakai kain pelikat sambil suke pilih chocolate :)

Tingat mase Iwan, Adi n Ikram bersunat dulu. Adeh! Me as the one and only kakak they have, terpakse menurut perintah. Temankan diorg la ape la, terpakse miss tgk tv. Dah le diorg gume my room (my room je leh muat 3 tmpt tido, bilik diorg penuh!). Uhhhh, sgt 'tersekse' mase tu, asyik "Kak Yong nak tuuuu" or "Kak Yong nak niiii" hehe.. tp jugek sangat kelakar heheh..

Ikram paling penakut, ubat ape sume tanak makan and sanggup tahan nak weewee sbb takut sakit. Gile tul, pas 3 hari dia tak tahan sgt baru dia nak gi toilet pastu bile dia weewee lame sgt, panik dia panggil Abah sbb dia takut toilet bowl penuh ngan dia punye pee hahah..

Mase diorg baru balik klinik tu, beze je 3-3 org. Iwan masuk umah ngan chatterboxnye, mcm bersuant tu bende dia wat tiap² hari. Adi plak masuk umah dengan wat brave face. Senyum tu terplaster kat muke dia tapi dia tak mo cakap ape pun. Ikram la paling bes, whimpering je panggil Mama. Then bile Abah cakap, "Nape panggil Mama je, Abah kan ade..", dia tuko plak whimpering panggil Abah hahah..

Tapi mase tu mmg dengki la. Diorg dpt byk duit.. uhhh, tak aci! Dah le terpakse jadik nurse melayan diorg, sabo je le..

Mase Iskandar nye turn plak, dia sorg je.. tp sekali ngan our neighbour, Akram. Mase diorg ni bes, sbb student USM nak buat majlis berkhatan. Malam tu diorg sumer (ade dlm 20 org kot) 'bersanding' kat Desa Bakti. Then dapat kain pelikat sorg satu ngan duit and diorg dpt makan bes.

Esoknye, diorg duk kat court Desa Bakti and org bomba datang mandikan diorg gune the fire engine.. Uhhh, kak Yong dia terase nak join sekali heheh :) Then budak² ni kene dukung sampai Pusat Kesihatan and amik giliran nak berkhatan. Akram la kesian, dia takde kakak so dia datang la pegang my hand sebab dia takut. Sembg² ngan dia tamau bg dia takut (sbbnye Iskandar cam tak takut je time ni) pastu Akram nak pujuk diri dia sendiri, dia trus comment, "Kak Yong nnt bile nak bersalin nnt laaaaagi sakit dari Akram kan?" Adeh.. ke situ plak budak ni..

Iskandar nye turn, kitorg relax je sbb dia cam tak takut. tp tetibe dengar org menjerit dalam bilik Dr.. Huhu, upenye Iskandar la paling byk drama. Abah kene pegang kaki dia sumer and dia jerit tak berenti hahahaha.. padehal Dr tak start ape pun lagi.. Ohhh Iskandar, sungguh memalukan heheh..

Senyum sensorg plak bile teringatkan diorg ni.. sekarang memasing dah beso ngan perangai memasing. Kadang² rindu gak ngan diorg yg kecik, tp nak wat camne, sumer org membesar kan..

*sigh*

Erkk.. nape Ayu tulis dalam BM ye? Hahaha..

Tattoo..

I luuuurrrvvvvvee this song ;)

oh oh oh
No matter what you say about love

I keep coming back for more

Keep my hand in the fire

Sooner or later I get what I’m asking for

No matter what you say about life

I learn every time I bleed

The truth is a stranger

Soul is in danger

I gotta let my spirit be free

To admit that I’m wrong and then change my mind

Sorry but I have to move on and leave you behind

I can’t waste time so give it a moment

I realized nothings broken

No need to worry about everything I’ve done

Live every second like it was my last one

Don’t look back got a new direction

I loved you once needed protection

You’re still a part of everything I do

You’re on my heart just like a tattoo

Just like a tattoo

I’ll always have you (I'll always have you)

Sick of playing all of these games

It’s not about taking sides

When I looked in the mirror

Didn’t deliver

It hurt enough to think that I could

Stop

Admit that I’m wrong and then change my mind

Sorry but I’ve gotta be strong and leave you behind

I can’t waste time so give it a moment

I realize nothings broken

No need to worry about everything I’ve done

Live every second like it was my last one

Don’t look back got a new direction

I loved you once needed protection

You’re still a part of everything I do

You’re on my heart just like a tattoo

Just like a tattoo

I’ll always have you (I'll always have you)

If I live every moment

Won’t change any moment

Still a part of me in you

I will never regret you

Still the memory of you

Marks everything I do, oh

I can’t waste time so give it a moment

I realize nothings broken (yeah)

No need to worry about everything I’ve done

Live every second like it was my last one

Don’t look back got a new direction (don't look back)

I loved you once needed protection (no, no)

You’re still a part of everything I do

You’re on my heart just like a tattoo

I can’t waste time so give it a moment (i can't waste time)

I realized nothings broken

No need to worry about everything I’ve done (no need to worry)

Live every second like it was my last one

Don’t look back got a new direction (don't you ever look back)

I loved you once needed protection

You’re still a part of everything I do

You’re on my heart just like a tattoo

Just like a tattoo

I’ll always have you

Hmm..

Hmm.. arini dah setahun dah upenye ye.. :(

Of Ayu

Kate Yokies: Hang ni dah jadi keras hati dah, hang tau tak?

Kate org len: Awak dah banyak berubah!

Kate sorg lagi: Awak dah mcm bukan kawan saya yang dulu!

And said another: You've changed a lot!

And yet another: I can hardly know you now.. what happened?

Kate Ayu pulak: Tak pun, mane ade saya keras hati.. mane ade saya berubah.. saya masih 'Ayu' yang same. Masih 'Ayu' yang dulu!

Tapi kate mereke lagi: Nope! You've REALLY changed!!!

Maybe..

Sekarang Ayu dah tak lagi biar orang kate ape². Klau dulu, semua sindiran diterime dengan fake smile dan muke like she doesn't get the sarcasm at all, tapi skrg, sarcastic remarks more often than not receive counter sarcasm too.. much to Ayu's amusement, and the horror of others..

Sekarang Ayu dah tak lagi nak baik² sangat dengan orang yang baru dikenali, realizing that the people you learn to care for are capable of hurting you more than anything, intentionally or not.. no longer dah any stranger is welcome into my life until they prove they are worthy (which actually means takde sape pun, since Ayu's trust pun dah agak ilang.. lucky for her, old friends kinda understand this!)

Sekarang ayat² nak bg Ayu rase bersalah tak lagi affect hidup Ayu. Klau dulu, she'd take it seriously and try to rectify the situation, but now, sape berani dgn sengajenye buat ayat² kesian supaye Ayu rase bersalah, akan buat Ayu lagi menyampah dah meluat lagi tak mau layan.. enough said!

Sekarang Ayu dah tak lagi burst into tears at anything. Eg. One day a lecturer asked her, kenape Ayu suke sgt melayan budak² ni buat macam² (eg. send cards.. old friends know, this is the real me and Memory Lane sama Hallmark would be proud of me using their cards to full use heheh..) so her simple answer was, "Takpe Dr, sekali sekale menghiburkan hati diorg ni, ape salahnye? Kite pun seronok kan?" But the lecturer, jokingly I assume, said, "Hmm, bile pulak ye ade org nak hiburkan hati kamu nanti?" W/pun hati rase sedih, tp dgn 'berlagaknye' Ayu jawab,"Takde orang nak hiburkan pun takpe.." sambil buat muke stone and trus pergi.. Uhhh, harapnye takde la bunyi cam kurang ajar kan?

Sekarang, w/pun tiap² hari tingt, tapi buat² tak heran je.. bukannye senang, tapi nak buat camne, bukannye boleh dipakse :(

Sekarang bile ade mase lapang, selalu ingat yang buruk² je, pk nak balas dendam je kat sumer org. Nasib baik pengecut, so setakat pk dalam kepale je la, nak wat tak berani hahaha..

N sekarang, dendam macam susah nak ilang compared to before. Dah jadi hypocrite, buat baik je ngan diorg tp mengelak dari nak melayan sangat atau untuk tolong ape² (except for emergencies la, kejam sgt tu klau tak tolong). Buat la hint² nak tengok wayang ke, hint² nak ajak jalan² ke ape ke, Ayu dah pandai wat bodo n tak paham and ubah topik..

Bile pk² balik.. hmm, betul la Yokies, saya dah keras hati dgn sgt negativenye! Betul kate sumer org, Ayu dah berubah.. tapi kenape berubah negatif sgt?

And frankly, for now, I don't even miss the old Ayu!

My raya

Hmm.. raye? Raye ye.. nak cakap ape ye pasal raye?!?!

This years raya is a bit.. what do you say?.. boring for me kot.

The most exciting part was the day before raye where my brothers Adi and Ikram came to Parit Buntar for some baju raya hunting. And may I say, those guys are more fussy than Izati. Sheesh! It took hours for them to find a baju melayu they liked and they were 'quarelling' throughout the 'shopping spree'.. ohhh, kakak mereke terase sgt malu huhu.. but since I had promised to pay for their baju melayu (Adi wanted to use his for his graduation and Ikram, well, he HAD helped pay for my new phone kan heheh..), I had to endure all the humiliation of being their one and only big sis.. adeh!

Then as we were about to pay, they spotted some butang baju melayu.. and once again, it took half an hour for them to choose which one they liked (and to my annoyance, it was the first one they had each picked! Ceh..). You know, I had always remembered those thing as being around RM5 per set, so you could imagine my suprise to find that they now cost at least RM30 per set. Gile tul.. my brooch pun murah lagi..

After that, we walked from Haji Fauzi right through to Billion, while stopping at nearly every shop on the way. Ikram and Adi wanted to buy some decent pants (with Adi who only owns jeans feeling he had to have something formal, and Ikram whom I just realized, doesn't like or even own jeans!) They finally managed to find good pairs of pant but by that time, I was already feeling like I wanted to go sit down somewhere. Then Adi, seeing my tired face asked me where the shoe department was. To my suprise, he wanted to buy me some shoes.. yeay!!!

BUT, I had to buy ONLY what he chose.. hehe, takpe la, free kan hehehe..

Anyway, he choose these high heeled sandals, much to my protests but he dared me to wear them and I told him, I fell flat on my face on raya, it will be his fault!

After that we went to Longwan as Ikram insisted he wanted to buy t-shirts there.. and boy did he buy them. I counted 7 t-shirts and another two pairs of pants! Adi bought two t-shirts too..
Then we went to the pasa Ramadhan to buy some pudding but the pasa Ramadhan had already lost its appeal so we headed back to my house to pray then went to Carrefour to buy Mama's
fav cake.

We had our iftar there and only arrived home in Penang at around 10pm.

The next morning was the most boring raya ever for me. We didn't go ANYWHERE as Abah had asked us to wait for him and Umi (and Annisa and Irfan!). We didn't even take any pictures except the one above where I insisted on taking one even when Adi, Ikram and Iskandar were missing in action..

We went back to Kuala Kangsar the next day with Abah making us promise to meet him at Juru's Shell around 8am. In a-not-so-suprising turn of events, Adi and Ikram woke up late
making the three of us the last to get outta the house (Mama had gone first with Izati and Iskandar, not wanting Abah to wait for us!)

As we were late, I had rushed through the toll before we thought of calling Mama. It was nearly 10 by then and guess what: Abah hadn't even arrived yet and Mama was still at Juru. Since we were hungry, the three of us decided to stop at the nearest RnR and have a leisurely breakfast. We took picture of us eating haha, then sent it to Izati whom we knew was hungry and a bit annoyed at Abah for being late :D

Arrived at Taiping at Mak Yang's house for lunch(?) then headed to Kuale to go for raya. It was around 8 that we decided to finally stop at Wan Chik's, with our stomachs full, mind you! Ayah Chik stared at me and asked me about my loss of weight (?) By God, it hasn't been that long, OR that much weight lost pun but I guess he hasn't seen me for a long time la kot but his comment bought tears to my eyes.. a year ago, I would've been whooping with joy if anyone said that to me, but considering the circumstances, I really felt like crying but pretended to play with my nephews who kept wanting to show me their toys.

Then we went to Mak Yong's house (after a bit of drama from Ikram.. well, I must admit, I agree with him.. but then again, who are we anyway *shrugs*) before finally calling it a day and
headed back to Penang. God, was I sleepy!!!

Anyway, there it is.. my boring raya! Huh.. I dunno, guess I'm just not enjoying things much anymore, huh?

Yesterday I found a raya card from a year ago and was reading it while wondering when did everything all change..

Then from the radio came these words:

"Where'd you go
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've
been gone
Please come back home.."

It didn't help that had I first heard this song when the same friend has played it on his/her song player while we were sitting together with a bunch of friends.. in happier times that is :'(


Hahaha.. Ayu being sentimental here (more like 'mental'!!! Haha..).. and nostalgic.. and stupid! Huhuh.. I gotta stop listening to the radio while doing these kinda things hehehehe..

Iftar at abg Fadzil's

Seems like towards the end of Ramadhan, we're getting more yummy iftars everyday hehe..

This time it was at abg Fadzil's. Kak Nor had come yesterday asking us to come. When I asked her, "Kak Nor nak masak ape?"

She answered, "Apa yang hangpa nak makan?"

Woohooo.. heheh, we get to choose ke?

Hahah, but of course la, we told her we'd eat anything.. and anything it was!

She had cooked enough to feed the whole school hehe.. There was the compulsory rice (compulsory for typical male Malays haha..!) with, lets see, about 5 types of lauk dishes, including two types of large prawn dishes and a chicken dish she called.. aiyak! I've already forgotten the name but it was like curry with a lil' twist. Then there was fried mee and koay teow as well as her style of bolognese spaghetti (it was more like soup.. but yummy!).. I can't even remember what else she cooked but I took a bit of each.. penat dia masak, amik le ati makan sumer and luckily but not to my suprise, it was yummy!

Then, after Maghrib prayers (and being 'forced' outta the kitchen when we wanted to help with the washing up hehe..), we were served with pre-raya cookies and hot tea (though the yummier cookies were dominated by the guys who refused to share with us).

By the time it was Isya, the guys were ready to head to the mosque but me and Farah, having not freshened up before going to abg Fadzil's decided to help kak Nor with the clearing up before and perform our Isya and tarawikh prayers at home.

We went home VERY full.. with some food packed by kak Nor which she insisted we took home. Hmm, yummy!

Another feather in my cap hehe..

Yesterday, feeling a bit adventurous, me and Farah decided to head to Seberang Jaya and take Dgon along with us for iftar at Nandos in Sunway Carnival. Provided that all the while, the nearest Nandos was at Juru Autocity, we decided to check out the latest (2-3 months old 'latest', that is) outlet here.

We had actually planned to go there today but since kak Nor (abg Fadzil's wife) wanted us to iftar at their house today, we had to 'reschedule' our outing. I was wearing a kebaya I seldom wore (ye laaa, ingat tak kuar dah pas balik from school) and terase sedikit malu to go out wearing it but since kak Nor insisted, adeh, I had to make myself comfy

On the way, Azam decided to join us so we planned on meeting at the said Nandos itself. Went to pick up Dgon then we went straight to Sunway Carnival.

Now, I don't really like eating hot things coz my face would go all sweaty and turn red while I try to grab as much glasses of water as possible. Usually, my pick is either Lemon and Herb or Mild but eversince I had tasted (and collected the lil' flag for) Hot, I was actually feeling more adventurous than ever.. though I'm cowardly enough not to order the quarter chicken, instead I opt for EXTRA HOT pita hohoh.. The gleaming red flag was getting more and more alluring to me as iftar neared :D

However, we got our orders a bit late, with mine being the last one. Still, at approximately 7.25pm on the 8th of October 2007, I was already the proud owner of all four lil' flags from Nandos.. hahah, an accomplishment you may ask?

Yup!!! That's my answer :D

Over You <--My current fav song! :)

Sape ade lagu ni, I want this song :)

No.. no.. make it "I NEED this song!" hahaha.. Sangat bes, guess I'm gonna go Daughtry CD hunting after this :)

Daughtry - Over You lyrics
Artist: Daughtry
Album: Daughtry
Year: 2006
Title: Over You

Now that it’s all said and done
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I felt as if I was in way to deep
Guess I let you get the best of meeee

(Chorus)
Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally gettin’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!
(End Chorus)

You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say,
And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of other’s opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for meee

(Chorus)
Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally getting’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!
(End Chorus)

I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you

And I never saw it coming
I should have started running
I’m finally getting better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
And I got over you!!!
And I got over you!!!
And I got over you!!!

The day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you…

Fared cooking???

Fared had suddenly asked all of us 2 days ago if we were free today. Feeling a bit cheeky, I told him we were only free if he'd cook for iftar to whcih he suddenly smiled and told me that an iftar was actually what he had planned, thus another day of makan free hehe..

He wanted to borrow my (unused haha..) plates, pots and pans and whatever cooking utensils he could borrow, knowing fully well that my house is complete with all those utensils.. what is missing is a dedicated chef(ette) that cooks everyday hehe.. The reason was because he was planning on going back to his hometown since he had just goit a job there so he wanted to treat us to makan² before he went.

When I went to his house to sent the items he wanted to borrow, I was greeted with a sight most girls would love to see. The house was full with guys (Remy, Fared, Rashwan, Rai, Azam, Fadli, Lie and a few boys I didn't know) all sitting around in the living area chopping onions, milling the spices, making currypuffs and so on.. wow! THAT's a sight to behold! (Sile jangan percaye gambo Remy di bawah. Dia berlakon je tu hehe..)


I would've loved to stay tapi malu laaa.. I'm a girl remember! I decided to head off to school AFTER I left my camera with Remy so he'd capture those moments haha.. Anyway, they had already started cooking but I think I'd put those pictures in my fotopages one of these day (bile la nak ade mase update fotopages ni, Ayu?)

Here's a pic of Fared at the stove. (I want credit for the pots and pans he's using hehe..) He said all the guys helped with the cooking but knowing him (having cooked with him once), he's the head chef (yang sangat leceh and cerewet, if you ask me hehe..)

By the time we arrived, at nearly 7pm, everything was ready. We girls were suprised by the spread and here is a snapshot of the food on our side of the spread. There was definitely a whole lot more food than that but I could only snap this much hehe.. Yummy, huh? We were definitely full by the time we staggered outta his house :)

Btw, Fared solo lagi.. Sape nak? Please contact me and I'll give your contact num and details to him heheh..

Tagged by Sentot..

Aikkk.. kene tag lagi? Well, here goes..

Five things in my bag

1. My pink purse (People always wonder why I chose pink as the colour for my purse *this is the 2nd pink purse I've used*. Heck! I used to wonder myself why people would choose pink so really, I don't actually know why I chose pink hehe..)

2. My PINK phone. Yup, my NEW phone hahaha.. as opposed to my old blue Nokia 2100 that has always been the object of ridicule for abg Fadzil, Choong, Remy, Ramadhan.. basically all my buddies in the post-grad room. Though abg Fadzil and Remy's phone are just adik-beradik of my monocolour/monophonic phone, but mine was the worst because the battery is gelong too hehe..

3. My pencil box.. full with pens, pencils and stationery I don't actually use that much!

4. My calculator. Hmm, I used to be called Ayu calculator in school since I always had my calculator in my pocket. I had shaken off that habit during my undergraduate years but I guess old habits die hard, eh?

5. My cute kitty pouch. My kakaks had given it to me along with a matching sling bag on my 25th birthday (or was it 24th?) and I now use it for my pressed powder, lipstick and lipgloss as well as a sanitary pad (for emergencies la!)

Five things inside my wallet

1. My I/C (800325 07 5496) <--why the hell did I type that?

2. My driving license which has a picture of me at 22 looking like a 16-year-old haha..

3. My Bonuslink card.. you never know when or where you could collect points :p

4. What I love to call my duit selit² which I fold neatly and put it around the purse that sometime amount to more than RM100

5. Sabir's matrics cards (Hahaha.. only those who know the story would know who he is and why his card is with me heheheheh..)

Five things in my favourite room (Which is my bedroom, the ONLY room I 'own' in my rented house hoho..)

1. My collection of cushions and soft toys which I mostly shove off the bed when I wanna go to sleep now.

2. My Mac which I could no longer use. Adi tried to look into it but I guess its beyong repair now *sigh*

3. Each and every gift/card my friends and family have ever given me. Ohhhh, tak berani tinggal kat umah Penang, ilang nanti Ayu nangis tak berenti :)

4. A whole lot of those coloured and cute cardboard boxes you can buy and assemble with all sorts of things in them.

5. Save the best for last: My book collection, of course!

Five things I would like to do

1. Does 'trying to forget what I guess I'm supposed to forget' count? :'(

2. Try to finish puasa nam and puasa ganti in Syawal

3. Give my Atos a full service (and change the tyres too). I didn't go to the workshop for nearly 6 months but my dear car never complained.. waaaa, no wonder I love it!

4. Buy Adi and Ikram something for Raya. They've always helped me whenever I'm stuck, wish I could do something for them..

5. Smile without feeling as if its something I HAVE to do.. :(

*updated*I'd also like to find my missing watch. I've searched everywhere for it and it kinda has a sentimental value for me.. I just dunno where its gone to :'(

Five things I'm currently on

1. Writing my Raya cards ASAP

2. TRYING VERY HARD (really!!!) to START doing my PhD proposal hahahaha..

3. Learning more about my phone.. while being a 'perak' in the process. When I put 'In perak mode' in my YM status, Ashraf innocently asked me, "Kak Ayu kan ke memang orang Perak (Darul Ridzuan)?" Hahaha.. aparaaaa Ashraf!! Hehe..

4. Reorganizing my cube. Hey! If I'm gonna stay here another 2-3 years or so, I'd better make myself comfy, huh?

5. Giving pep talks to myself everyday on.. well.. on something :( Go, go, go Ayu!!! Hehe..

Five people I'm gonna tag.. Baizurah sgt tak aci. I'm the one usually tagging people but since this time she's the first one to tag, she's taken most of my 'victims'. *sigh*

1. Pojie

2. Amer

3. Yuhyi.. even though ALL THREE haven't even done the previous tag

4. Good ol' Ayeen.. who'd do this tag ASAP.. won't you dear?

5. Jidaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. since your blog is actually alive and breathing now :)

Adi yang degil..

Hmmm.. truth is, it wasn’t supposed to be this way!

Problem is, I have a stubborn brother hahah..

Ok, those of you who’ve read my earlier entries would’ve noticed me quoting Adi on 8 things about me. One of which he said I was gonna buy him that Wings of Redemption Spawn for his birthday. He meant if as a joke (bleh caye ke?) but it got me thinking..

Anyway, after brooding on the subject for a few days (and peering into my measly savings), I decided, what the heck, at least I’d be able to buy him something he really wants for his birthday. However, since I wasn’t familiar with these figurines, I had to ask his girlfriend, Ana, for help. Turns out, Ana was also thinking along the same lines, but being it in the middle of Ramadhan and nearing Syawal, she didn’t have enough money for it. My heart sank when she said this (read: Mahal ke?) and I asked her what was the lowest price she had found on EBay (it seems that it is now a collectors item as it is no longer sold on the shelves) and she told me it was more than RM300.

*Gulp* There goes my already measly saving that would be starving to death if I bought that ‘berhala’ (Abah’s expression on Adi and my collection of toys huhu..) for him.

Then Ana came with the idea for us to both share the cost for it, and it brightened by day instantly hahah.. I wanted to suggest it but malu laaaaa heheh..

So it was up to Ana to bid the ‘thing’ while I had to come up with ways to support us financially (the final date for the bid was before Ana’s paycheck). Ana did most of the hardwork as she had to build a whole new EBay account since we knew the said WOR Spawn was in Adi’s watchlist so he could ‘see’ who else wanted to bid on it. Then, when we ‘won’ the WOR Spawn, she had to fake a stomachache and all that just so Adi won’t follow her when she went to see the seller.

We were ecstatic when it was in our hands.. but it was still around 10 days to Adi’s birthday. It was so hard to keep a secret, knowing Adi would definitely love his present.

Then, something came up..

Adi had found another WOR Spawn on EBay which was a loose item, therefore much cheaper than the price me and Ana had paid. While we paid more than RM300 for the Spawn, Adi found one at RM98. Shesshh!! Just our luck. Like I said to Ana, “Gile camtu, maknenye kotak dia je dekat RM300!”

Adi was excited and wanted to bid. As I had learnt, these bidders prefer to bid at the last minute, just to make sure they get the best price or something like that so Adi was waiting for the 2nd of October (3 days before his birthday) to bid for the item.. Me and Ana were panicky already at this development.

Silently cursing the seller, we had to make other plans. Somehow, we knew that we had to tell him earlier to we settled on telling him on the 2nd, right before he went to bid on the item.

Then, another thing happened. Adi had bid on this figure and it turned out, the seller was the same guy we had bought the WOR Spawn. Once again we panicked. I kept thinking, this Spawn really is cursed haha.. Ana was worried the seller would recognize her and our cover would be blown so last minute adjustments: we had to tell him that night.

We decided right after iftar would be the best time and since Izati was with them, she was bought into the plan too. Whenever Adi bought up the subject of wanting to bid for the item, Ana, Izati (and Maeil, Ana and Adi’s officemate) would make all sorts of excuses to stop him from doing it. It came to a point that Adi felt hurt on why people were not letting him spend his own money. I had called him a few nights (every night) prior to that day pretending I was interested in his collection just to make sure he didn’t bid on it.. we had decided that if Ana or Maeil was the one who asked, he’d guess our plan!

However, as reported by Izati, Adi started to sulk before iftar as Ana kept telling him to postpone his plan to bid on the WOR Spawn (Yeah! We were still hoping we wouldn’t have to give him our surprise BEFORE his actual birthday). Then Ana text me telling me that Adi was sulking, it was then that we knew, we just HAD to tell Adi that night..

So that’s what we did. When they went back to the car after iftar, Ana told Adi, “Ni kak Yong suruh bagi awal!” Why my name only? Hahah..

Adi, still wanted to sulk, momentarily forgot he was supposed to make his hurt Bambi face and quickly proceeded to open the present..

Tada.. He couldn’t stop smiling and Ana kept snapping his pictures while sending them to me. She even caught him on video, my brother the kunun² malu² kucing guy saying thank you over and over.

He called me too, and more than ever, I was glad to note the excitedness (does this word even exist?) in his voice. At least it made me feel a bit better, not being able to be there myself to see his face when he opened his gift (What is it with carefully planned gifts, that you just wanna see the recipient’s face when they open your thoroughly-thought-through present?)

Hehe.. that’s my brother.. and I’m glad we forked out to buy that Spawn for him. The figure he had bought a few minutes before that iftar was even left aside for a few days after haha..