...just a place for me to go rambling over everything currently happening in my life, sometimes, even to the tiniest detail. And whatever that's unfortunate enough to happen to cross my mind at the very moment when I feel like jotting down something ;)
Monday, January 29, 2007
Today..
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
I'm bored
Its not that I've got nothing to do, I've got tons to do but I'm still bored! Still waiting for my hard cover thesis binding.. though thats supposed to good news eyh? Then my 'boss' told me to take a few days off while waiting for the equipment to arrive.. arrggh, mane tak boring!!
Know what I did? Haha.. went out to do these blogthingeys hehehe.. So here they are :)
Your Power Color Is Blue |
![]() Relationships and feelngs are the most important things to you. You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict. If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well. You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart. |
| Your Aura is Blue |
![]() Your Personality: Your natural warmth and intuition nurtures those around you. You are accepting and always follow your heart. You in Love: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone. Your Career: You need to help others in your job to feel satistifed. You would be a great nurse, psychologist, or counselor. |
Haha.. I'm a great nurse huh? Psychologist, huh? Counselor? Macam keje orang baik² je hehe.. Whatever! But I DO like the colour blue so, ok la.. my aura is also blue.. NOT blue in the 'blue' way ok? I'm too pure for that haha.. But then again, 'good at avoiding conflict'? Hmm.. no comment..
Lets see the next one..
| Your Scent is Rose |
![]() |
Wahahah.. 'Delicate, soft and feminine'? Anyone who knows me.. no wait! Let me rephrase that. EVERYONE who knows me are probably laughing their heads off.. I wish la! when I was little, I was always wishing I could be more feminie, but as I grew up, I get more clumsy everyday.. *sigh*
Bile la gaknye leh tengok the more feminine Ayu ye?
| Your True Love Is a Cancer |
![]() Why you'll love a Cancer: Cancer's loyal and sincere heart makes your own sensitive heart melt. Caring and devoted, a Cancer will take the lead in pursuing you - and not give up! Why a Cancer will love you: You're laid back enough to deal with Cancer's little mood swings and freak-outs. A fellow homebody, you know how make Cancer comfortable and at home with you. |
Hehe.. was having fun trying THIS out! Waaa.. Cancer ek? "Loyal and sincere heart makes my own sensitive heart melt" <-- wow! "Caring and devoted.. take the lead and not give up" <-- *daydreaming now*! So to all single available guys born at the end of May to early June, I hereby call upon all of you hahah..
| You Need to Grow Up a Little |
![]() You're definitely not a kid anymore, though sometimes it's hard to tell. Your life is somewhat adult, but chances are, you aren't really satisfied with it. Whether this means getting a better job or dumping a loser boyfriend... It's definitely time for you to start living a fully adult life. |
Aiseh! Hit me right on the face there.. yeah! Tak bagitau pun dah tau.. I HAVE TO GROW UP!!! Heheh..
| You Are Spring! |
![]() Playful Sweet Fresh Airy |
Yeay!! I'm spring.. my favourite season of the year :) :) :) A season that symbolizes a new beginning after the great winter has passed. Full of flowers bursting with colours, fresh air, blue skies, yellow duckies bobbing in the pond, birds chirping loudly..
Opssss.. my 'boss' is calling me.. gtg!
My friend is getting married.. :)

Yesterday I got an sms from Toroque. He asked if I was going to a mutual friends wedding.. I was a bit surprised though as I had just YMed with that friend a few weeks ago and he didn't mention anything. Still, I'm glad for him, though a bit upset that he didn't invite me to it..
For a few friends (yup Sentot, that includes you and especially you la kot haha!!!) whom I know would be wondering about it, let me stress here: He is one of the good friends that I've had. We went to the same matriks centre but I didn't know him then. I only knew him at the end of my first year when we joined in PEWARIS and found him to be quite funny and pleasant to be around with.
In my second year, I realized he was among Toroque's and Yokies's housemates a.k.a good friends thus making him one of my good friends too as with Toroque and Yokies, I'll never run outta friends. They were always into motivational projects and all that, and these were the type of people who'd wanna do all this with their friends. By this, I had already labelled this friend as the matchmaker of the group :)
This was proven to me in my final year when he became the middleman between me and his friend after a bit of misunderstanding. Everyone else, even some friends whom I'm not that close to suddenly came to me and wanted me to proceed with this guy but it just didn't feel right and this friend was the only one who was willing to sit down with me and listen to all my reasons and explanations.. and I was grateful for at least having someone to listen since everywhere I went, people kept telling me to give it a go. I guess, it was after that that I started being close to him. I even warned him if he dared to matchmake me again, I was gonna force him to marry me haha..
Anyway, we kept in touch after finishing our degrees. We always kept ourselves updated on each others life, though he was the one who usually made the calls as I cruelly pointed out that he was the engineer and I was the penniless student haha.. He even disobeyed my 'orders' of not matchmaking me with anyone and tried again, only to be disappointed again haha.. padan muke! Dah cakap dah kaaann..
As a friend, he's ok. As a guy pun he's okay. I even tried to matchmake him with one of my best buddies but he wasn't interested though me and some of the others tried our best to get them together. Budak kecik Salam also wanted to matchmake him with his sister. So you can see what kind of person my friend here really is.. though he's also a not-so-failed product of religoius schools (look who's talking haha..!) but he's quite concerned in religious matters. He's a good listener, and could really make me laugh (unlike my other 'friend' [who btw has already married to.. dah ade anak pun] who couldn't understand when I told him he didn't have any humour in him as he didn't seem to find anything funny!). I liked being his friend.
Then one day, things got a bit sour between us. I became a bit annoyed with him at first and then he stopped calling me. Then, a few months later, he contacted me again but just as we were getting to be close, he annoyed me again about the same thing. This cycle repeated itself a few more times until one day, he got the others involved. Aiyak.. a bit bengang here already! Good thing I had good ol' Toroque on my side when the others weren't haha.. for quite a few month, I avoided those other friends :(
Anyway, yesterday, when Toroque smsed me, I was a bit surprised as just a few weeks ago, this friend had YMed me, asking if I was still mad at him. Hey, I could never really be mad at my friends for long, especially those I consider close to me so I told him that. We chatted a bit more but he never once told me he was getting married..
A bit hurt la jugak.. but who am I to feel hurt?
Still, I'm happy for him :) He deserves to be with someone better. His wife is lucky and I pray they'd have a whole lot of babies and be happy till the end of their days..
Which brings me to a question someone asked me yesterday: "Dia ni dah kawen.. dia tu plak dah ade anak sorang.. IM yang Ayu suke sangat dulu pun ntah² tgh tunggu hari je nak dapat anak jugak.. Ayu sebenarnye tunggu sape lagi?"
Frankly: I don't know!!!
Sunday, January 21, 2007

Keep Holding On
You're not alone
together we stand
i'll be by your side
you know i'll take your hand
when it gets cold
and it feels like the end
theres no place to go you know I wont give in
no I wont give in.
Keep holding on
'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
just stay strong
cause you know i'm here for you, i'm here for you
theres nothing you can say, nothing you can do
theres no other way when it comes to the truth
so keep holding on
cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.
So far away I wish you were here
before it's too late this could all disapear
before the doors close, this comes to an end
but with you by my side I will fight and defend i'll fight and defend yeah yeah.
Keep holding on
'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
just stay strong
cause you know i'm here for you, i'm here for you
theres nothing you can say, nothing you can do
theres no other way when it comes to the truth
so keep holding on
cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.
Hear me when I say, when I say
I believe nothings gonna change, nothings gonna change destiny
what ever is ment to be
will work out perfectly yeah yeah yeah yeah
lalalalalalala...
Keep holding on
'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
just stay strong
cause you know i'm here for you, i'm here for you
theres nothing you can say, nothing you can do
theres no other way when it comes to the truth
so keep holding on
cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.
Keep holding on
'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
just stay strong
cause you know i'm here for you, i'm here for you
theres nothing you can say, nothing you can do
theres no other way when it comes to the truth
so keep holding on
cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Last Castle

I had nothing much to do last night. Went to kak Yun's house to return a book I had borrowed then I went back home and switched on the tv. The Gilmore Girls was on so I watched it. I used to never miss the Gilmore Girls but since I missed the first few episodes of this season, I have never really followed the series anymore but I could still understand the plot though. Nothing much different there since I last watched it.
Then after it had ended, I proceeded to read a book I had bought last week but then another tv drama was on. Nip/Tuck. Never really watched it before but I haven't missed the past three episodes. Still deciding if I'm gonna continue watching the series or not as its not as intruiging as Prison Break, CSI bla.. bla.. nor does it bring out the busybody in me like Desperate Housewives. But for now, I think its an ok series.
Then I switched off the tv, went to brush my teeth and wash my face and wanted to go asleep. However, as I've been having trouble sleeping these past few week, I was a bit frustrated when I realized I wasn't sleepy yet. I hate it when I'm not sleepy coz I'd be pondering on thoughts I'd rather push aside. Didn't help that I felt so alone last night after Elie had went to retire in her room.
So once again, I switched on the tube.
I had read in the papers that there was a midnight movie, The Last Castle. Wasn't really planning to watch that as if I'm not mistaken, this was already aired a few weeks ago and during that time, I had only watched the movie for the first 5 minutes and decided it was quite boring. However, the next day, Erwan (who does not really watch movies that much) told me he loved the movie and it had kept him awake since he wanted to know the ending of it. Still, didn't believe him much then haha..
But then, just my luck, there was nothing else on tv so as I was ready to switch off the tv, my hands once again pressed TV3. It was showing a scene where the main character, General Irwin, was meeting up with his daughter after he had entered prison. Remembering Erwan's word, I decided to give this movie another try..
Turns out, I forgot all about feeling down and lonely and was finding myself getting engrossed in the movie. I didn't watch it from the beginning so I had to quickly try understand what was going on.
Apparantly, it was about this high security prison for the U.S. Army offenders. Gen Irwin was 'admitted' into this facility on an offense I'm not sure of as I didn't watch the earlier part. He was known to most of these soldiers whether they were the prisoners or the guards. The warden, Colonel Winters was especially impressed with Irwin as Irwin has always been an example for the U.S. Army. However, this view changed when he found out Irwin did not share his opinion on how to run the prison.
Though during his job as the warden, there has been no escapes nor extreme fight where guards or prisoners were killed, he failed to gain the respect of the prisoners as he ruled with an iron fist (?). Irwin who has always been loyal to his men, always confronted Winters and criticizes his methods. To Irwin: once a soldier, always a soldier. So the pride of once being the servent of the U.S. Army should always stay in their hearts, though they are prisoners.
The problem was, Winters methods not only made them lose the pride of being in the army, but also the pride of being a human being as he made the prisoners see themselves as low lives. This changed when Irwin entered the jail and he repeatedly reminded the prisoners that they should have respect for themselves and never stain the name of the U.S. Army they once worked for.
One of the first scenes I managed to see that somehow touched me was when this Cpl. Ramon Aguilar met with Irwin. He stuttered a bit when he talked, already making us feel a bit sorry for him before we even saw how lowly he saw himslef. Then Irwin asked him how many years did he serve the army which he answered 2 years. And how long was the duration of his wrong doing that made him be sent there and he answered it was a 5 second moment of anger. So Irwin told him,"From my calculations, you're more a soldier!" which made Aguilar happy.
He asked Aguilar why they kept raising their hands and holding their hair so Aquilar explained, they were not allowed to salute in the prison and would be punished if they did, so this was what they did as means of a salute. However, Irwin told him to have pride in the salute and told him about the history of the salute which I didn't even know until yesterday. This led to Aquilar being punished to stand in the yard while raising his hand in a salute all night after Winters saw him saluting.
You sympathize him when you saw him standing in the rain, shivering. When the morning horn was sounded, Aguilar wanted to go back but was ordered to continue his punishment. However, Irwin interfered by stopping the guard with his hand and telling Winters that the regulations of the prison was that no punishment exceeded the morning horn. This however, led to his own punishment of moving rocks. You'd feel very mad when Winters ordered Irwin to still continue moving rocks, though he had already finished his pile, till the evening horn.
But this made him gain the respect of the other prisoners, so slowly he installed the pride back into them. This was clearly seen when Aguilar, who had always been picked by the other prisoners became more confident in himself and when the guards wanted to destroy a wall the prisoners had made together, he defied orders and stood in front of the bulldozer which ended in him being shot by a guard.
However, this just made the prisoners even more determine to topple Winters as the warden. They didn't mind being in prison as they knew they had done wrong, but they didn't want him as the warden.
At the end of it, the prisoners took over the prison. Yates, a prisoner who was once sceptical, in the end was the one who stole the American flag to be raised upside down to show that the prison was out of control and needed help from outside.
In the end, it was revealed that Irwin even gained the respect of the guards. They did not obey Winters orders to shoot him so Winters took matter into his own hands as Irwin tried to raise the flag as they had planned. However, the true soldier in Irwin also emerged to show how much he respects the flag as he didn't raise it upside down at all.
Haha.. I'm not a good story teller here but you gotta see it to believe it. I won't mind watching it again :)





