(Hahahah.. Tajuk puuunnn 😂 Mengundang btul 😂😂😂)
He was my best friend but my first impression of him was of complete dislike.
I was in the college bulletin club and we were having our 2nd meeting. The first meeting was with the advisor and the few interested students namely me, Ima, Adha, Amli & Ruzaimi. It's was more for knowing each other and getting a rough idea on what was to be in the bi-weekly (ke monthly eh?) bulletin. The 2nd one was without the advisor and we were supposed to delegate tasks while discussing what to publish.
These 2 new students joined the meeting saying they were new to the club. I would've just ignored them if they didn't come chewing gum AND wearing their walkmans throughout the whole meeting. I know laahh it wasn't a formal meeting sgt dh since the advisor wasn't with us tp I still felt more than a little bit annoyed thus setting the feeling I would feel for him everytime we met for meetings.
Didn't help that one time our college hosted the Majlis Sukan MARA or something like that. Every other students not involved in the event was allowed to go home except the bulletin club. We were expected to come up with daily newsletters about the day's sport events. I was already a bit bummed that we couldn't go home. Then this guy had the guts to mansplain Excel to me when I wanted to compose my piece for the day. Took all my patience to not look him in the eye and tell him I've been using Excel for years by then.
Then at the end of our study there, I joined this Belum Expedition. Suprises of suprises, he had joined too. I was determined to ignore him totally but I guess he knew I hated his guts so he tried being friendly.
Funny thing I remember the most, one night we had this bonfire activity tp I can't remember what we did. I was watching everyone else and he suddenly came up behind me trying to make small talk. He asked me, "Kampung kt mana?" and I answered, "Sabah!"
Guess I already had an obsession towards Sabah long before I married a Sabahan 😂
Balik tu, someone had asked for everyone's emails so there was this back and forth group email happening while we waited for our results. I never joined in the email chain, I was just a silent reader when one day this guy replied to the group email. At the end of the email, he said something about me that I read in horror (Nope! Wasn't that bad.. He was just teasing me about the president of our bulletin club).
In my haste fuelled with embarassment, I replied there and then but I made the mistake of clicking Reply All instead of Reply so there, my humiliation just got bigger.
Funnily, because of that we became friends. Of course he just had to email me personally about my outburst in the large group but after that, I realized he wasn't so bad.
We continued our emails back and forth until we realized we managed to get into the same campus, just different schools. In fact, his was the first recognizable face I saw on the registration day.
I was still not really that sociable with guys but he understood so we just continued our emails even when we see each other everyday. I never talked to him face to face so not many people knew we were close. Our emails continued till our final year. Long, looooong emails.. I dunno what we talked about anyway but there was always something to share.
During our final year on the new campus, each room had internet access so we graduated to YMing each other every day. But our emails still continued. I'm not even sure how that worked sbb topics in YM and email jarang sama 😂
By then some close friends had started interrogating us about, well, us but we were best friends that looked out for each other, and that's what we told them.
Once there was this fellow student from another school who was keeping in touch with me. Ini cerita lawak skit actually, kerja Un ngn Nazomi lah ni but I won't dwell on that 😂 He wanted to talk with me face to face but me being me, didn't really want to cuma last tu dh Un pujuk (and we felt a bit guilty pun yaaa 😅), I agreed. Boleh pulak, the very first time I agree to meet someone wpun kt cafe yg penuh org tu pun, I kantoi with my bestfriend. I didn't notice him until he was near and my heart felt like it fell to my feet when I saw him sbb I knew, mesti kene tegur punyaaaa laahh 😅
As suspected, balik bilik there were long YM messages and an email from him 😅😅😅
(I actually also kantoi with my 'cousin' in EE jgk who also bombarded me with questions, siap ajak gang, the 'other cousin' to join in on the interrogation 😂)
Anyway, we were good. We were fine. We were still close, still bestfriends until we graduated.
He had registered for a postgrad program in his school while I was delaying my registration because I really didn't wanna do my MSc. So somehow, we found ourselves still in campus.
By then, it felt different. Maybe because most of our friends had left, or maybe because we grew up a bit but I guess we felt free to explore our feelings. I still didn't want to go out with him or anything but we started talking, as in, in person. Since the postgrads and ROs had their own student housing (just different wings), we'd sometimes crossed paths with each other at the parking lot so we talked.
During this time, I met his family. His extended family.. And I was wearing ratty jeans and a faded tshirt. Way to go for a first impression, Ayu 😂 We had dinner together at his home and this was during a very hard time in my life so I really felt loved then. His granma was the sweetest, his mum even so. His dad loved to tease but for the first time in a very long time, I felt calm.
For completing his MSc, he told me I needed to belanja him so when the time came, I was a bit nervous to ask him where he wanted to go. Not because I was afraid of what place he would choose, but more because I really didn't know how was I supposed to go out with him 😅 Luckily, he understood so he just asked me if I would make him currypuffs as that was his favorite kuih.
So for the first time in my life, I made them from scratch 😂 Gigih 🙈🙈🙈
Like I said, we were okay.. We were fine. We just didn't notice the grey skies coming our way.
It started with a misunderstanding, something I was sure he would understand since he knows me in and out. Then it escalated into.. I dunno what it escalated into, it just did.
I was heartbroken. More so when he accused me of being embarrassed of him, which was the last thing on mind. How could I ever be embarrassed of him? He was my best friend, first and foremost.
We never got to repair what was broken. I tried, but I didn't seem to get it right. Everyday I picked up another piece of my broken heart until one day, I got used to it..
I still hoped we would reconcile but one day, a few years later, I was returning his mother's call. Though we were not talking, his parents were still concerned about me. They'd call once in a while to share about wjat they were doing and stuff and no, we never talked about him. But I once talked to his grandma who asked me, "Knp Ayu ngn **** gaduh?" and I burst into tears then sbb I really didn't know what to say. So his mum had been calling me for the past few weeks but around that time I was missing him a lot, wpun it had already been years since we talked, that I didn't have the energy to talk to anyone who reminded me of him so I had ignored the calls (rude, I know).
When I called, she seemed a bit cautious. I asked about her and what she was doing. She told me she was doing the final touches for the kenduri. And just like that, I knew.
I could barely hear her voice saying she had posted me an invitation card as requested by her son and I was in a dreamlike state when I went up to the postgrad pigeon hole and found the card.
Turned out, he already sent a card too but to my home address. My sister had called few weeks earlier informing me of a card but I never thought to ask her to open in.
I never thought my broken heart could be shattered even more. That day, unintentionally the whole postgrad room knew of my broken heart. I didn't cry like wail mcm banshee or something but my cube was near the entrance door andy pc was not playing songs like it normally did.
I had to cancel my class that day, thanks to Fared who willingly took over for the day and I cried till I my face was stiff and hurt, till I couldn't breathe. I couldn't even go home then because I didn't want the pak guards to ask (sbb diorg rajin tegur kan)
The upside of this was, I quickly finished my writing in no time. Klau tk sebelum tu dok delaaaaayyy sgt kan so it became a distraction for my feelings but a great thing for my studies 😂
So that's the short (short ke? 😂) version of my story. As most first love stories go, it was a learning experience. It taught me a lot of things, but mostly taught me to grow up and take everything as a lesson.
Would I want to go thru all of that again? Hell, no! But I'd take all those lesson with me to go, thank you!
#30dayswritingchallenge
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