And its done!

My heart should probably be breaking right now.. 

..but for the first time in years, I could finally breathe~~

15:15 20122012

Suffocating..

Nightmare~

I just had one of the worst nightmares EVER!

I was back home in Sg Ara, with only Mama there. Iskandar had gone to work so there was just the two of us.

Well, as dreams go, it gets blurry and hazy la kan but at one point, Mama told me she had to go out so I was left alone in the house. I was contemplating on a quick doze on the settee when my back rubbed against something hard. Turns out, it was a hard bound book with this colourful jacket and me being me, just couldn't resist a book in my hand la kaaannn..

BUT.. somehow, the words in the book didn't make sense and seemed quite off compared to the jacket. It was then that I took of the jacket and..

HORRORS OF HORRORS..

How I picture my face must've looked like!

It was a copy of "50 Shades of Grey"!!!

Waaaa.. I woke up terus with my heart beating so fast. It took me a few moments to clam down and realize it was just a dream..

But dang! Now I'll forever picture my mum reading "50 Shades of Grey".. Tidaaaaaakkkkk~~~

Bile tak boleh tido..

It was way past midnight.. the perfect time for their rendezvous. Though hundreds of miles were between them, a thin strip off the Straits of Malacca too, the virtual world was just within reach for this encounter. No promises were made prior to it, nor were appointments made. They just knew that they'd find each other during this witching hour at this exact location.

They asked the usual questions, knowing their answers won't be that much different from each other. Life as scholars on their break in their own hometowns don't vary much from one another. Usual jokes and teasing went back and forth before sleepiness started to engulf them.

Before the last bid of goodnight, he asked her about her plans for the next day before they returned to their varsity. She told him of her intention to go to Sunshine for her usual habit of scrutinizing each and every single Eid card they sold before choosing the ones she wanted to purchase.. knowing fully well he'd laugh at her, as always, for disliking the common practice of bulk buying in packs of multi-choices preferred by others.

He in turn lamented on the fact of classes on the the day after that prevented him staying a little bit longer at home to enjoy just another iftar with his family.. full of knowledge that she'd tease him of being mummy's boy which he is proud of and has never been ashamed to admit.

It was late when they finally retired, with only a few hours to sahur..

The new day was a fine one. A calm one.. a kind of day Muslims welcome during Ramadhan.

She had assumed he was on his way back as he traveled alone with his bike. She was luckier this time as her family had decided on a quick trip so she didn't have to travel by means of the public transport. The plan for a quick stop at Sunshine was fulfilled late morn. After other Eid preparation purchases were made, she could be found on the second level with her lil' sis and lil' brother, all in the spirit of Eid, choosing small tokens to be given to their close companions.

As her lil' sister and lil' brother ran around, trying to outdo each other on their choices, she took a few choices for further scrutinizing while picturing who would be the most suitable recipient of them. So engrossed was she in her task, she didn't realize a shadow come upon her.

It was not until another card was waved in front of her face that she took her glance off the one in her hand to the intruder in her space, not without an annoyed look on her face. Her frown turned into a suprised laugh when she realized who was the one who dared to invade her space.

It was him. He had somehow found the idea of crossing the bridge en route his way back, across that thin strip of the Straits Of Malacca, just to buy some Eid cards at her favourite store, was his brightest idea ever.

She laughed at him, knowing she now had another thing to use against him. Her smile turned into a big grin as she realized her best friend was right here beside her just as she was choosing something to give him. She scolded him for ruining the suprise and he just laughed. She was about to give another lashing to him when she realized who she was.. and who she was with.

She quickly felt her face burn as she realized her family were around her. She wasn't embarrassed with him, it was far from that. She was proud to be his closest friend, the one he said knew him more than anyone else in this world aside from his mum. It was just that she had somehow managed to not tell her family about him, even though they'd been good friends for years. It did confuse her on why she could never talk about him at home when all her other male friends knew her family and came to her house every year, especially the ones she knew after him even if they were not as close to her as she was to him.

She suddenly had this in-explainable feeling of shyness overcoming her so she just smiled at him and waved him away. She quickly went to the other aisle and made her choices quickly before turning to him and waving to him in a gesture to show that she was leaving. She was relieved when he returned her smile with an even bigger grin and a wave back to her.

All the way back, she was still filled with regret, worrying she had offended him or, worse, hurt him.

She didn't see him for days after as they weren't in the same circle and she became even more worried when his usual emails were late..

Then, one day, there was a card on her desk, with the familiar handwriting she'd been used to seeing for the past 3 years.

"Assalamualaikum..

Ooo.. awak.. Ingatkan haritu nak jugak berkenalan ngan mak awak, tapi awak tak introduce pun saya so macam mana nak kenalkan diri.. Apa lah awak!

Ok lah, lupakan hal tu. Sempena ngan hari raya nih saya nak mintak maaf bebanyak kat awak. Saya tau saya banyak kutuk awak, jadi skang saya nak mintak maaf la.. lain kali saya buat lagi.. he.. he.. Nanti bile makan kuih raya jgn lupe simpan unt saya tau..!

P/S Raya nanti jemput la datang rumah.. (gerenti awak tak datang punya)

Your best friend"

The smile on her face was apparent enough to earn questions from her roomates. It grew even wider with the arrival of the awaited email where he admitted, somehow, she was also the only friend he had that his parents didn't know about.. but she didn't share the secret that she was relieved enough to know that she was forgiven. What had happened was acknowledged, instead of avoided (which would mean it has turned into something taboo in their friendship). She made a promise to herself that next time, she would do what he wanted..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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..not knowing that that day would never come..

Bayam Merah Pah Aisyah

Yesterday morning I found myself at the PB market. I had planned to go buy some things for some curry mee but as usual, I loved to browse all stalls. In the end, in addition the the things actually needed for my curry mee (which I bought in excees sbb kunun bleh freeze and use next time), I also bought some bananas and some vegetables.. particularly red spinach!

Usually there are so mane people at the market that no matter how early I go, some veges have already left the shelf by the time I arrived (even klau sampai there at 7.20am, ok!) This time I was lucky, they had a large fresh supply and without hesitation, I bought some.

Why am I talking about 'without hesittion'? Its because I very seldom cook leafy vegetables. I prefer the non-leafy ones (cucumbers, tomatoes, baby corn, green peppers, mushrooms and such) coz they are longer lasting in the fridge since I sometimes take time to even consider what to do with them haha..

Nway, since yesterday I'd already done my curry mee, I decided to make something different today and remembered the bayam merah I bought yesterday. I decided to try and see if I could make a respectable dish outta it. Yeah, I know, takat bayam merah je pun, not rocket science. But still..

In the end, I managed to make something that looked like what my arwah Pah would've done for us when she was still alive and strong.. tadaaa~~

I remember the first time I was introduced to this leafy vegetable. We had just come back to Malaysia and were staying at Kuala Kangsar for the time being. Pah had made lunch and I was suprised to see some red vegetable soup. It intrigued me that it was red in colour and I assumed Pah had put some red colouring in it.

A few months later, after entering school, I had learnt about the fable Raja Bersiong and instantly, my mind went to the bayam merah dish.

It worried me a bit and somehow Pah noticed this the next time we balik kampung. She then asked me if I wanted to help her prepare the dish and since my curiosoty was very high, I went along with her.

It was like magic when I realized the red colouring came from the spinach itself and Pah must've been amused seeing me so relieved that it wasn't actually cooked in blood, as in Raja Bersiong haha..

So thank you, Pah, for that lesson in kitchen magic. I always think of you whenever I see bayam merah, cooked or uncooked.

My first try at preparing bayam merah 

Alfatihah..

Those Whom I'll Always Love

It started with Afo's FB post tagged with me, Razin and Izzani. Memandai je budak tu cakap kat diorg, "Cikgu Ayu teringin Char Koay Teow".. Next thing I know, we'd already set the time and date for our CKT gathering haha..

This wasn't the first time though. Before they all went to their respective colleges after SPM, I was 'tricked' this way too. I guess "Fool me once, shame on you.. fool me twice, shame on me!" Haha, but I'd gladly be fooled by them as they've always had a special place in my heart.

I decided to ask Nazleen to join us too since we had planned to go to Omaq's and Nazleen's house is just 5 minutes from the eatery. Besides, I haven't seen her in a long time. Nazleen in turn thought of asking Aminah and I just thought, why not? The more the merrier ☺

Thats how we found ourselves in a corner table at Omaq's.

The biggest suprise came in form of Afo. I taught him eversince he was in form 1 right till he was in form 5, with the exception of form 3 since I didn't have that class yet then. He had always been a chubby boy.. not fat, mind you.. but chubby. Somehow, his one year in matriculation has shrinked him into half his usual size. I'd already noticed that in his FB photos so I told him I wanted to see his change LIVE hehe.. he assured me, I'd see in it high definiton.. and I sure did! Jeles kot hehe..

Razin plak, I only met him when he was in form 5. He's a bit big-boned but we used to tease him Baby Boy coz thats what his mother calls him (his mother is a teacher at their school kot klau tak silap.. thats why his friends knew bout his nickname) Chumel ok~~ Hehe.. He's in UiTM Seri Iskandar, doing Town Planning.

Here's a snapshot Afo and Razin

Next is Izzani whom I also only met when he was in form 5. I don't think I was that close to him when I was teaching him but I'm closer to him now, thanx to FB. He loves sharing pictures of his student life, the most recent, his Mandarin redition of the Dikir Barat. Dapat number 1 plak tu hehe.. he's in UiTM Merbok (if I'm not mistaken) doing Business plak. He's always been good in Maths anymay.. tho through my experience, accounting is way different from Math.. like WAY different.

Then comes two of my ex-studetns who are now my juniors in USM.. boley? Hehe..

Nazleen I taught in forms 1, 4 and 5. I still keep the Teacher's Day gift she gave me when she was in form 1. She's one of those hardworking students who think its (almost) the end of the world if she doesn't get A's hehe.. and she's been striving for it eversince the first day I knew her. She's a bit worried about university as most of us know, A's aren't that easy to get. I hope she'll adapt to this sooner rather than later coz when she worries, she really worries and she's such a nice girl. Well, she's in the EE school in our campus and she seems to like it.. particularly since she could go home everyday hehe..

Next is Hilmi, who's my definite junior since he's now officially a student at the School of Civil Engineering! Waaahh.. so proud of them! I taught Hilmi in forms 2, 4 and 5. One of those talkative student TAPI dalam dok banyak cakp, his hands still do the sums I give them.

Last but not least is Aminah. I also met her in the exact same classes I met Hilmi. She's doing her STPM. In fact, its actually happening right now. We had a great time calling her budak skola that night.. dia redha je lah hehe..

From right anticlockwise: Razin, Afo, Hilmi, Izzani, Nazleen and Aminah

Nway, I had a really great time catching up with them. I am so proud of all of them for coming this far, and I pray that they would get even farther.

Not Wednesday.. but Wordless anyway..

Short joy lah kot.. but worth millions for their fans! ~ ♡ ♥ ♡

Yeah.. I know.. its already 2 weeks since the final and only now I'm updating hehe..

Well, blame it on melayan kekecewaan or anything.. truth is, I've been a bit busy since. Last weekend we had our yearly River Expedition which I hope to update on ('Hope' being the keyword here since I seem to haven't updated on it for the past 2 years) and this weekend plak went to celebrate 'My Best Friend's Wedding' hehe.. Ok, mcm la weekend je bleh update..

So as most who followed the tournament knew, my team wasn't one of the favourites to win. In fact, it wasn't even considered to go past the quarters. Even my ownself, who has been supporting Italy eversince I started watching international football, had already considered my 2nd team (which hilariously, at least from my point of view, is Spain! All because I have a football crush on Casillas since the first time I saw him defending haha.. Argentina would've been close behind but they're not in Euro..).

These two goalkeepers have actually been the reason on why I choose to support their teams. And since you don't consider them as handsome, nmpk sgt la I don't like them sebab their looks, kn! =p

So imagine my suprise (and I imagine other Azzuri fans jugak) when sedikit²  dan merangkak² the Azzuri managed to go into the finals against La Furia Roja!

It would've been a dream come true for me (especially since I missed a great game between these two in the group rounds earlier.. and to think that everyone was egging me about how I missed one of the greater games of the tournament!).. right until half hour into the game..

By then, Spain had scored 1 goal. To me, the game was still quite balanced and it only made the Italians play even harder but STRIKE 1! One of their players were injured and had to be switched..

Now, I'm not one who watches football coz I understand the game, but in my humble opinion, switching players early in the game usually is a sign of bad luck..

..and I so wanted to paint my face!

From then on, it just went downhill. By the time La Roja scored for the second time, it could be seen that the morales of the Azzuri were quite down.. but thankfully, there were no chest kicks (or headbutts, God forbid!) seen here even though they were clearly frustrated.

During the break after the first half, I was already feeling.. not confident! Not that I was confident before haha.. but somehow, seeing them fight their way to the top when they weren't even considered by most had made me kinda hope for a win, I guess.. or at least a good game which regretfully, was also not the case here jugak *sigh*

Still, I was hoping that the 15-minute break would somehow help boost their spirits especially for both my favourites, Buffon and Pirlo, whom have been on the first ever team I supported when I first decided that football wasn't much of a waste of time, after all..

..and they didn't upset me! The first 15 minutes of the 2nd half was great. I was beginning to feel a hope of at least a great game by then but then, STRIKE 2!

Prandelli had already subbed 3 of the players (and I actually only knew then that that was the maximum number of exchanges you could make) and the 3rd player whom I don't know the name, coz tak minat tgk dia main kot haha, had a torn hamstring or something (but it sure looked painful when they replayed it) and he was taken of the pitch.. and left the Azzuri with a 10-man team..

It was then that it was clear the Italians had lost the fire they had rekindled just a few moments before. Then I saw how old ('Old' being a word used loosely here since they are around my age je pun haha..) Pirlo and Buffon looked like.. well, they were like the oldest team there anyway but somehow it didn't hit me much till then.

After the blow, they seemed to just want the game to get over. Even Pirlo, whom I always thought played with a poker face, looked so crestfallen..

It didn't help that Torres scored a third goal (Thus taking the Golden Boot Award right outta Balotellis hands!) and assisted a fourth one..

It must've been the worst final ever.. and imagine being on the losing side.. 4~0!

It didn't help that pictures of Kodak Moments between Torres and his children were splayed everywhere..

..while Trolls of all sorts popped up on Balotelli.. sian kot haha..

Still, I managed to find a 'tender moment' between Prandelli and Balotelli right after the match.. see, Italians have feelings too.. =p

So it was a great tournament for me (except for the terrible final je la kot). Other teams were great, for instance the Germans who have played better than I've ever seen them play and even Holland managed a great last game for their fans.

But what I'd like to remember the most is the surprise the Azzuri gave to their fans whom, I'm sure, never thought they'd get the treat to be able to support the same team right through the final.. Grazie!

As for now, I rest the inner football fan in me until the next World Cup..

Thank God I no longer follow the leagues and only watch these two tournaments je hehe.. =p

Half-time for Italy vs Germany

What a great first half.. woohoo~~

And to think that they were the underdogs for this match but look at that, TWO beautiful goals from Mario Balotelli..

..and I was afraid when I saw him coz, though I’ve never really seen him play, I’ve heard people say he performs depending on his mood which is at the end of two extremes.. either VERY GOOD, or very bad.

But when he had ran into Gomez and quickly apologized, I was assured that this was the GOOD Balotelli.. yeay!

And as I said in my FB status earlier: 

Clash of the two Marios.. one who is in for the Golden Boot and the other who has (Gian)Luigi on his side hehe.. Since Mario and Luigi always save the day, I'm thinking, this could be the case for today, perhaps? =p

*crossing fingers.. BOTH hands! Hahah..*

Kesian kat diorg ni..

Zakumi dulu for World Cup sgt sumer org kenal.. these guys, people know them, but I doubt if people remember their names..

Pasta ala Aglio Olio

Ok.. this is kinda unbelievable.. Italy have gone a step further than they did in the last Euro. We’re in the semis now, beaten England in penalty shots with a score of 4~2.. in the semis?!?!

Hell, yeahhhh~~

It kinda tickled me when friends were updating me (excitedly ok!) bout it as they knew I couldn’t watch the game as it was only shown on Astro. Paling suprising, Prof Ismail from my school, lepas Subuh je dia dah comment on my wall bout Italy’s triumph over England hehe..

So.. When they managed to enter the quarter finals, I had made two batches of beef bolognese to give around haha.. over kn!

For the semis plak, I decided to make something I’ve never tried but have wanted to try for so long now: Aglio Olio. It literally means ‘garlic + oil’ so at first I was kinda sure it was gonna taste quite boring.

So yeah, I added some prawns (name pun org Malaysia, makanan mesti kene bnyk kaler haha..) but I didn’t stray far from the original recipe: lots and lotsa garlic and a generous drenching with olive oil. I added some dried chillies too, more for the colour coz pasta+garlic+olive oil kinda have the same colour so I figured it’d look VERY boring and monotonous.

Turned out I was wrong.. in a GOOD WAY!

I can officially say now that I’ve found my favourite way to cook pasta. Kinda regretting that I never tried it earlier.. yummy~

So here’s to a great semi (which btw, I can watch.. yeay!). Against Germany, ok.. takut tak?

Well, crossing fingers till the match on Friday morning ni nnt ☻

Forza Italia~~

And who’d’ve thought, Italy has gone to the quarter finals.. yes! Yes! Yessssss!!

*running round the house like mad*

And what way to celebrate than by making the simplest and most famous Italian food: spaghetti bolognese hehe..

Ok, tipu.. actually I wanted to pulangkan bekas my student. She gave me some pulut durian a few weeks back and this is the ONLY thing I’m confident enough to cook.. and no this isn’t Prego’s ka apa ka ok.. made from scratch..

Tuck in, everyone! Heheh..

Van Persie vs CR7

So yeah, I’ve supported Italy eversince I started watching football but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the other matches too.. which I almost never miss (the ones on TV3 je laa =p)

Now, this morning wat the best match ever (at least for me la) in this Euro.. It was between Portugal and Holland.

Now, I don’t care much for Portugal as I’ve always kinda been a bit ‘allergic’ to Ronaldo.. but once upon a time ago, when Italy was kicked outta the World Cup after losing in the group stage, I started to watch other teams too. I had started to notice Holland and Spain in the last Euro, two years before the last World Cup la kan so obvoiusly, I wanted to watch them in action lagi. But Holland put me off after their terrible sportsmanship in their match again Spain.. you know, the giler-kasar one where De-Jong kicked Xabi Alonso in the chest.

Still, I kinda felt for them when they had lost the first two games in the group stages so I was rooting for them jugak la kot when they were up against Portugal and was sure they’d give a good game (with not more of the kicking something other than the ball)

As for Portugal, I was also sure of a good game especially form Mr CR himself as he hadn’t even scored ONE goal in both games.. so much for the ‘akulah paling terre’ kinda aura he likes to give around..

..and I’m glad I was right!

Haaahh! Now, I only watch football for its ‘moments’. I don’t squat about anything tactical or technical about football and I rate a good game by how I can’t sit still during the game.. which was the case here (though yes, I am a bit biased coz during the Italy~Spain match which I didn’t watch pun I was pacing around waiting for results jugak hahah..)

The game started a bit slow la kot but not 10 minutes in the game, the ball was everywhere.. cheq sokaaaaa~~

Depe pakai baju itam, mcm tau je nak berkabung dah pas game ni hehe..

Well, tantrums were thrown.. by Robben botak itu after he was subbed towards the end of the game. He got outta the field but jumping over the, tatau la depe panggil ape, triangular thingeys around the stadium yg sports the advertisement tu. He’s face was.. mad! Hahah.. priceless

In the end, the Dutch still lost la with CR giving his first goal of the tournament (pas dia score tu, baru dia reti nak senyum.. klau tak, mcm ape je muke.. nyampah!) They went home with not even 1 point to their name.. mcm kesian pun ade..

BUT: To me, it was a great game.. I onl realized I wasn’t sitting when the last whistle was blown hehe.. aci kah?

And to think that a few years ago, I’d be sleeping peacefully through each game, huh!

Whatttttt?!!?

I AM SO MAD!!

Ape ni Italy.. mmg tamau masuk quarter ka? Mau get kicked outta the group stages again?!?!

Ngan mamat² baju kotak² pun bley seri kaaaaaaa..?!?!

Yess.. tak kalah! Heheh.. boley?

So two nights ago was Italy's opening match against Spain.. AND I COULDN’T WATCH I! Arrrggghhhh~~

Still, the good news is, Italy and Spain were tied, yeay! Hahah.. why ‘yeay’ instead of ‘dang’ you might say? 

Coz Spain is now the number 1 team in the world. The reigning Euro champios as well as the World Champions ok.. ingat nak kene belasah teruk dah but being tied is sooo much better.

Didn’t help that all the while, Lan kept updating me on how great the game was.. ughhhh.. But good ol’ Kay was kind enough to say only GOOD things about the Italians (she was also watching) as she too gave me periodic updates.. God bless ‘em hehe..

And to think that even if I could watch, I probably wouldn’t have coz I had a workshop in Penang the next morning which means lepas Subuh (yg awal.. bkn ala gajah style!) already kene siap for the two-day SMART Ranger Workshop tu..

..NAHHH~~ Konpem sy tgk jugak punye hahah. Ngantuk is like belakang kire dah la kot coz this is MY TEAM we’re talking about.

I DID got to bed but got up not 10 minutes later.. just knew I couldn’t sleep till I knew the results coz though Italy is my favourite, Spain come close! AND, my fav two goalkeepers are there!

And to think I miss their first match.. haiyaa~~ Tp seb bek korang TAK kalah, tak la ralat sgt.

Hmm.. 2^nd game with Croatia pun bakal miss gak ni.. Can also watch the one against Ireland! Ireland?!?! *sigh* 

Jadik la.. just hoping it won’t be the ONE AND ONLY Italy game I get to watch. The nightmare of being kicked out the group stages during World Cup still haunts me ßdrama or what?

Annnnnnnddd its time..

As usual, my blog is like the ol' Chipsmore ad.. "Now you see it, now you don't!" On a hiatus just like its on a vacation or something..

Well.. whats new? Nothing.. except, once again I find myself drinking loads of Nescafe to stay awake!  Heheh..

What happened to my resolve to ban Nescafe from my life, eh? Heheh.. *grins sheepishly* Got to put that resolve on hold for a while since its that time where the TV is my bestfriend again..

Tonight will be the opening of EURO2012.. yeayyyy!

Poland vs Greece tonight and though I'm not familar with both teams, I'm still gonna watch it coz its the game that would set the pace for the whole tournament.. can't wait!

As for my team, I DID consider changing sides after Italy's bad performance in the two major tournaments RIGHT AFTER they won the World Cup dulu (Sheeshhh.. you'd think they'd wanna defend their title kan.. ini tidak, serah je kat Spain gitu.. huh!) but after thinking, I don't think I could do that. Not much because tak sampai hati (boley?) but more outta loyalty. Besides, this was the team that first made me hooked up on football ☻

Still.. I'm not putting my hopes up high for them anyway.. cukup lah hatiku kuciwa in the last Euro (kick out in the qurter finals) and World Cup (group stage pun dah tak pass weihhh) but I'm still supporting Azzuri.. well, at least as long as their in the competition la kan hehe..

The opening game for Italy.. is against Spain? Huwaa~~ Menakutkan and exciting all at the same time!

Anyway.. here's to a great tournament.. and sleepless nights for the next three weeks hehe.. 

For This I Blame: NESCAFE!

When I was younger, I got used to being compared with my sister, Izati. You see, she was fair, even as a child (whilst Mama told me Abah's first reaction to me when I was born was, "Hitam!"). She has long eyelashes that are as curly as a pigs tail and mine a short and razor sharp straight.. and well, the list goes on lah kot hehe..

I'm thinking that it was blessing that I waited for a baby sister for 9 years before getting one.. and had to endure THREE brothers before her as I adored her enough to agree with everyone. The only thing that miffed me was that whenever people praised her in front of me, and I'll be there agreeing with them (while actually telling them to notice how long her eyelashes were.. yeah, I was amazed by them since none of us before her, and after actually, have eyelashes like that!), they'd suddenly look at me as if they'd just noticed me.. AND they'd give me a lame praise, just to make me not feel left out.. I think la!

That annoyed me to hell as
1. I wanted them to look at how beautiful my baby sister was
2. Even as a kid I KNEW those praises weren't sincere hahah..

However, there's one praise that I got frequently enough to make me believe this was the ONE AND ONLY thing that was true.. and that is about my teeth!

And I guess the only reason I believe this one thing is because even my dentist (no matter how many of them I meet) always say the same thing.. I've got surprisingly white teeth!

So yeah, I grew to love my teeth after that la kot since I was always insecure about everything else about myself hehe.. evenmore when a few coursemates came to me one day (and these are people I've never spoken to before) to ask me how do I take care of my teeth (any treatments or whatsoever).. ok! Mcm lawak, kan hehe..

My friend, Mazrizul a.k.a Bob till now calls me Hantu Gigi Putih (don't ask me why ade 'hantu' kat depan tu)

Anyway, on the previous Teacher's Day, some students had wanted to take a picture with the camera-shy me.. I was trying to get away but somehow they managed to capture a picture of us together and a few days later, they had posted it in FB.

To my horror, my teeth were terrible!!

Lemme show you:

See!

Huwaaaa.. no longer pearly white.. now I have nothing to be proud of <--Ok, seryes mengade!

But still, I couldn't believe how 'yellow' they were and I kept racking my brains trying to figure out why.. and then it downed to me: Nescafe!

You see, I only started drinking those Nescafe Lattes a few years ago.. 6 years ago to be exact! I remember it coz it was during the time I was doing my write-up for my MSc dissertation. Before that, I almost NEVER drank Nescafe. You can ask my family, I use to only drink tea and if Mama made Nescafe for breakfast or tea, I'd usually make a pot of tea (or milo). If we went to somebody's house and they served Nescafe, I'd only drink a bit, just to be polite. When I started drinking then, I only drank Nescafe to help me stay up during my writing.. but then I go hooked up!

Grr.. now look at what it has done to my teeth!

Whatodo?!? Whatodo?!?

I'm thinking.. maybe I should lay off on the Nescafe. I still have 5 tins in my fridge (I usually keep them there so I don't have to buy before my classes). I guess I'm gonna finish off these 5 tins then I'm gonna go on a Nescafe strike..

Huh! See if I don't!! *cross finger*

Ohhh.. my teeth~~

A Face I've Forgotten

This week has been full of trips down memory lane for me and my fellow KMK-ians (if there is such a word!) You see, a friend had updated the page made for our batch (we actually had a few pages before but its gone too quiet there haha..) and, maybe because of the age we are now where you tend to appreciate that time of your life when you thought nobody understood you, there was a rush of invitations to friends.

Within a day, there were posts and posts about 'remember this' and 'remember that' and from the looks of it, everyone was enjoying it.

As for me, I once again became the girl I was in KMK where I tried to be as invisible as ever while taking in my surroundings. I enjoyed reading the posts and what people were talking about and reminiscing.

Photos were posted, old stories were dug up, well-kept secrets (until now) were revealed and so on. Din even commented on how 'free' everyone was since there was a steady string of updates popping up every minute.. to which most of them replied that they haven't been able to do any work coz they were busy being the the group haha.. some took the liberty to scan old photos (this was the pre-digital camera age, remember!)

Since most of the people posting weren't from my class, heck, not even my 'kuliah' for that sake, I didn't join in the discussions or anything but that didn't stop me from reading and laughing along with all the comments generated..

Anyway, on Friday, I was doing some work (while FBing as usual) when a picture popped up on the updates and from its tag, I knew it was a picture someone had posted in the group. I hadn't really wanted to look at it that much since most photos are from other 'kuliahs' but something (or someone) in that photo caught my eye.. and breath..

I'd forgotten how he looked like. I remember thinking to myself, "Ahh, so this was how he looked like then.." Then catching myself in the act as once upon a time ago, I'd have laughed if someone told me one day I'd forgot his face.

I know, a few months ago I had written about the dream I had where he was in toward the end of it but as dreams go, you know the faces are never clear, always blurry.. but since its your dream, you always know who you're dreaming of.

Well, that made me realize, its actually possible to forget a face.. even if it was so familiar to you before..

The next few days, somehow it was as if almost every picture they uploaded included him.. and no, he's not in the group.. at least I think he's not.

Sometimes, it bought a lump in my throat.. sometimes, I just find something else more important to look at but one day, another picture surfaced. It was of someone's book where he had his friends write something in it. At first I didn't know what drew me to that picture since it was just a scanned image of a page from a book with no headshots whatsoever.. but after reading through the entry right to the signature in the end ONLY did I notice who's handwriting it was.. and to think that once upon a time ago, I always recognized his handwriting no matter where I see it.

It feels somehow.. surreal..

And it didn't help that a few days before, his mother had smsed me. On my birthday, she had sent a text wishing me for it. I couldn't reply as my phone was still barred then and once my phone was reconnected a months later, I had forgotten about her sms. It was during Mother's Day that I remembered about her text and I decided to apologize for not replying as well as wishing a Happy Mother's Day to her.. I felt really guilty when she replied, "Terima kasih sbb ingat kat Mak Cik.. sbb Mak Cik sentiasa ingat kat Ayu.."

Its times like this I wish I didn't have these ghost-like memories.. =(

When you're annoyed..

Breathe in..

1..

2..

3..


Breathe out..

4..

5..

6..

Breathe in..

7..

8..

9..

Breathe out..

10!

Hmm..

*Doing some 'breathe-in-breathe-out' repetitions just to make sure*

Hmm..

Hmm...?!?!!?

Nope! Still pissed~~

8th Challenge ~ A Song That You Know All The Words To

My blog is dusty.. and this 30-day song challenge has also been ignored for a bit too long so I decided to give in to my insomnia and do an update on this challenge. This entry would be the 8th one and I have 22 day to go.. whatt?!?! When I first took up the challenge, I was so sure I'd finish it within 3 months tops. I'm fairly sure its almost a year now haha..

Anyway, the 8th challenge is a song I know all the words to.. which not only to me, but to anyone pun there'd be thousands to choose from. I wasn't sure what to choose but somehow while pondering, this song came to mind.

Its a sweet song with beautiful lyrics.. and I think I should include into my 'soundtrack kawen' hahaha.. not that I'm getting married in the near future la kan.. but its wise to be prepared <-- Ok! Muntah hahah..

Back to the song.. I just knew, that this song was actually sung by Tim McGraw and his wife, Faith Hill.. yeah, after 15 years la kan this song dah on air. I always thought it was She Moves punye song. But I like the She Moves version the most (Gil also sang a cover of this song around the same year jugak lagu ni kuar).

Well, to tell you the truth, I have no 'story' to relate to this song, as opposed to ade je story nye for the other entries kan. Just wanted to share a beautiful song here. Enjoy ~ ♥

Day 08 ~ A song that you know all the words to

Its Your Love ~ She Moves

Dancin' in the dark, middle of the night

Takin' your heart and holdin' it tight

Emotional touch, touchin' my skin

And asking you to do

What you've been doin' all over again

Oh, it's a beautiful thing

Don't think I can keep it all in

I just gotta let you know

What it is that won't let me go?

It's your love

It just does something to me

It sends a shock right through me

I can't get enough

And if you wonder

About the spell I'm under

Oh, it's your love

Better than I was, more than I am

And all of this happened by taking your hand

And who I am now is who I wanted to be

And now that we're together

I'm stronger than ever, I'm happy and free

Oh, it's a beautiful thing

Don't think I can keep it all in

If you asked me why I've changed

All I gotta do is say your sweet name

It's your love

It just does something to me

It sends a shock right through me

I can't get enough

And if you wonder

About the spell I'm under

Oh, it's your love

Oh, oh, oh, baby

Oh, it's a beautiful thing

Don't think I can keep it all in

I just gotta let you know

What it is that won't let me go?

It's your love

It just does something to me

It sends a shock right through me

I can't get enough

And if you wonder

About the spell I'm under

Oh, it's your love

It's your love

It's your love

*Beautiful song kan ☺

Sleepless in Taman Sempadan..

*This is gonna be a long boring entry with an avalanche of self-pity that I'm sure I'm gonna cringe at when I reread it in a few years time*

Gosh.. its been quite some time since I've had my last insomnia bout.. well, even a month would be LONG for me, so..

I can't believe I cried in class today..

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*loss at words*
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Ok.. THAT was a "long boring entry with an avalanche of self-pity that I'm sure I'm gonna cringe at when I reread it in a few years time"

Great! I suck at being lame too.. ='(

Something for the chocoholic ~ ♥

Jeng³! Sile tgk ape sy dpt dlm kelas tadi heheh..

Thanks Nadhirah! I really needed it (says the chocolate-crazy teacher who thinks that lifes problems could be temporarily solved by these treats.. nyum²!)

Nak? Heheh..

Treats for my sweets ~ ♥

Last week was what I always dubb as my birthday week since I'll be busy making cupcakes for my students. Its a tradition dating from.. ntah! Hahah.. I just remember that before I started making cupcakes, I'd usually buy cake slices for my students during this week but since I've learned (and had the tools) to make them myself, nasib la korg asyik makan cupcake Teacher Ayu buat sendiri.

Well, I shouldn't have been suprised when one of my student told me her birthday was the next Wednesday (yesterday to be exact). She wasn't actually hinting to me yang dia nak cake ke ape ke.. but, you know.. hehe..

Nway, knowing that I usually stay away from the oven for quite a while after my birthday week (Gile laa, everyday ngadap oven.. if the oven could talk pun it'd tell me to buzz off!) I tired to come up with something else and remembered something I loved doing last year..

Jeng³.. apekah?

Heheh.. yup! Diana's apam polkadot =)

I was actually outta practice and agak la terkial² nak buat but I managed to make some.. successfully!

Successfully lah sgt.. dot tak seropa dot!

So here's what I bought to class yesterday for the birthday girl and for the whole class.
 

Happy birthday, Shahkina! Blajaq rajin² naaaa~~

When the heart talks..

I didn't realize how much I've missed you until this week.. ='(

I managed to ignore the fact that you forgot my birthday this year. I managed to convince myself that I didn't care and that it wasn't important.. and that I manage to let slip outta my mind that I've lost something I've had for the past few years.

And then I found myself suddenly in tears as I went to class the other day. Try as I might, I couldn't stop them BUT I managed to tell myself, I'm just a sad and pathetic person generally.. and THAT effected me the whole time, making my students think I was not well and down with a fever..

Next, I catch myself jumping everytime the phone rings..

Today, I found myself wearing one of the baju kurungs you gave me. Telling myself I'm only wearing it coz it, well, Friday.. and coz I like the colour!

And to think that I'm not even talking about IM this time..

Imps from my past hehe..

"Bg kerja..tunggu bdak2 ciap wat kerja..p kedai runcit beli 2 tin nescafe..minum 1 tin smpai abis dalam masa 10 saat sambil duduk bawah meja..pastu wat muka malu (malu la sgt)..abis tusyen,,balik naik ATOS..minum lg 1 tin masa drive balik umh..umh ckgu penang kan ?? Hahahahaha.....power x otak sy, igt lagi tuh.." ~ Zaim

"Skng dh maju la skit xnek bsikl dh..hehe..tingt gak msa dlu kmi je yg thegeh2 lmbai2 kt ckgu..yg ckgu sengeh tolak idong..hahaha...lwk gila..lmbaian yg x drhgai..hahahaha...pas 2 ckgu bwk keta folow bkng kmi nek bsikl..dok2 hon2..mcm la xleh lalu tepi 2..haha..kn??;D" ~ Izzat

"Ckgu nk tau x ?? Baru je 3 ari lepas tringat kt ckgu..tetiba td lam inbox dpt mcg ckgu..cm x caye je.." ~ Zaim

Oh God! I had a really fun weekend.. and I didn't even have to go out (except for my classes la kan)

On Friday, I was asked to sub for Khairi's class in Bagan Serai. When I arrived for the class, I realized it was one batch I had taught for two years (Form 1 and Form 2) BUT, only 5 of my ex-students were in that class.

I didn't notice how frustrated I was when I realized that as this was one of my 'nightmare' classes (a nickname I gave them, proven in this entry haha..). Why do I call them that?

Well, prior to that year, my classes were usually small.. and I actually prefer them that way. Tu la baru tuition kan, instead of classes like I have now yang kadang bleh sampai 50 students *pengsan*

Anyway, I was used to small classes too much that whenever my students exceeded 20 students each, I'd panic.. Like seriously ketaq lutut style while feeling like running outta the class every few minutes. My problem was, some of thsse students noticed that and lagi la depe dok naik kepale kaaann.. to which I'd actually cry during class sbb tak tahan.. Yeah, I know, sgt pathetic bile ingat balik..

Still, some of them don't relly mean it, I guess. They thought they were just being cheeky, without realizing the limit their lame teacher ni bleh terime..

In this class, at least the girls were great. Typical girls yang tak pernah tak buat kerja and will shut their mouth while doing their work, thus making the boys always telling me, "Cikgu ni sayang budak perempuan je kan!"

Anyway, I admit, the last day I had with them (In Bagan Serai, I always taught only form 1 and form 2 so I knew I wouldn't be teaching them again), I felt a bit sad. As annoyed I am sometimes (more like in each and every time I teach them) with them, I'd grown attached to most of them. Wpun kadang tu exasperated coz dalam baru lepas kene marah tu, bleh lagi dok sengih².. haiyaaaa~~

Back to the present day, I found myself thinking of this class as I went back home, especially after Muhsin (one of my ex-students) had talked about Zaim so it didn't suprise me much when I searched on Zaim on FB.

Now, as a rule, I NEVER add my students.. approve ye, add tu tidak la coz sometimes teenagers ni kan agak annoying (Ok! Now I sound like an old aunty!) Well, you know la how they are kan.. Hahah, ok, only 'old aunties' like me kot bleh paham the annoying 'relationship statuses' la.. the annoying ejaan pelik² la.. the annoying mulut² itik kunun cute abis laaa.. well, all that stuff. But if my student adds me, I usually approve je coz they made a bit of an effort kan (while hoping against hope they don't 'amuse' be by being annoying like I said before)

As for Zaim (a.k.a The ORIGINAL Budak Kecik), somehow, I'd been thinking of him a lot for the past few weeks actually. He was this TINY boy during form 1, always teased by his friends sampai dia majuk and I always laughed even if I backed him (thus the reason why Izzat said, "Takpa Penyu, mentang² la cikgu Ayu sayang hang!") During form 2, he and Izzat somehow managed to get my phone number and as kids would be kids, asyik la dok misscall kaaannn~~

Anyway, I was really suprised when the first profile that came up was in fact Zaim's (Actually, I'd forgotten his name and had been trying hard to remember saaaampai la si Muhsin sebut) Around half an hour later, when I checkd my FB, I realized that Zaim had accepted my request and had already conteng on my wall..

God! I didn't realize I was smiling so broadly =) =) =)

Turns out, the reason I was thinking so much of him was because he was also thinking of me.. if you believe that psychological BS laaaaa heheh.. Seryesly, I was VERY happy.. and to think that the whole week I was actually a bit sad with some old stories I'd rather forget.

Zaim had already moved back to Terengganu, his actual hometown (NOW I know why they called him Penyu dulu!) with his family earlier in the year. When asked why didn't he wait until after SPM, he told me that his mother was the one who wanted to go back to Terengganu as soon as his father retired. He said he'd begged but the decision was already made.. sian plak kat dia..

I asked about Izzat and not even 5 minutes later, I received a request from Izzat.. waaahhhh~~

I was happy to realize that they were still close friends and they were actually chatting at that very moment. Habis la kan I kene perli with them sbb deme seronok la plak cakap, "Cikgu rindu kitorg!"

And what made me smile was that Izzat's first reaction was to tell me about the fun times.. instead of the time depe asyik kene marah je! Heheh.. I was expecting him to remember the bad times only since he was always so cheeky in class so selalu la kene marah. When he was form 1, dia pernah kene panggil with Sir Sany during MY class sbb Sir Sany kesian tengok me kene bully with them, boley? Mase tu, I remember how he tried to pretend dia tak kecik ati kene marah camtu because of me hehe..

Izzat's now in Teknik Seberang Jaya so I was really lucky that it was a school holiday, klau tak, tak sembang with Izzat ape mlm tu =) I really laughed when he told me he still remembered my Budak Kecik nickname for Zaim.

Izzat slept early that night, around midnight, dah lebur! But me and Zaim continued till 3am.. and wouldn't have stopped klau memasing tak ngantuk ape.. habis sumer citer kluar hehe..

I went to sleep smiling that night. I kept remembering how cheeky they were, and funnily, like Izzat, I couldn't remember WHY I was always mad at them. I only remembered the times they made me smile. I also forgot about the things that have been troubling me lately and it was all thanx to them!

I thought we had finished then and since Saturday was usually my busy day full of classes, I didn't have time to go online until late that night. And to my suprise, I got a message from Izzat, asking me when I was gonna be online. Alaaaaaaaahaaaiii, anak murid ku ini.. terharu ok!

So that night I spent my time with Izzat pulak and kept laughing all the time. He's still as cheeky as he was dulu and kept asking me if I remembered this or that. He talked about his new school and such.. gosh! I sure miss those cheeky imps!

Turned out, the reason Zaim was quiet that night was because he spent the day going back to Terengganu after spending his school holiday in Bagan Serai, THAT means, during the time I was teaching Khairi's class, he was just in the area. Sian pulak dia, rindu kawan² dia sampai sanggup turun Bagan..

On Sunday plak, I had to sub Cikgu Yazid in Jawi so I only went online in the afternoon and was smiling again when I got a message from Izzat inviting me to go visit him in his hostel whenever I'm free. He gave me his latest phone number (stating, "Cikgu nak amik number ni amik la, tak mau pun takpe la.. sy pasrah!" Hahah..) and sheepishly admitted that he had lost my phone number. He was already getting ready to back to his school.. alaaa, sekejapnye la.. =(

That night, Zaim plak online sampai pukul 2.00am lebih kot.. I had fun teasing him again as I did before and he told me proudly that I couldn't call him Budak Kecik anymore coz he's now 176cm tall.. whaaaa~~ Dulu dia kecik giler, ok!

Along the way, someone else plak added me, MIRZA! Wahahaha~~ Baru je Muhsin cakap aritu, "Musuh cikgu tak mai.." when I was taking the attendance for the class on Friday. Coz Mirza was one of the most cheeky ones ke tahap annoying and selalu kene marah then majuk ngan Cikgu Ayu.. and even he has changed! And though I'm VERY sure he remembers the bad times with me (Heheh..), he also chose to 'mengungkit' ONLY the good ones..

Waaa.. ni yang sayang kat korg ni!

And till today, I'm still smiling like crazy kot for my fortune! Thank God for the reason to smile and laugh after a few weeks of feeling blue.. and thank God jugak for giving me these kinda students! Like I told them la after Izzat was teasing me saying that I miss them coz I must've loved them so much dulu: Garang, garang jugak.. Marah pun, marah la jugak.. Tp sayang tu dah mesti! ~ ♥

Jage awak, Arep! Hahah~~

Of course Googled.. I'm not THAT old.. not THAT thin.. errrkkk!! Heheh

Just came back from my form 5 class in Pt Buntar and couldn't wait to share hehe..

My student Nadhirah (also daughter of one of my lecturers in PPKA) usually sits in front during my class. However, due to something yang I pun tak paham, just now she kept changing her seat. Kejap duk depan, kejap duk belakang, kejap duk tengah²..

When I asked her why, she just smiled and shook her head.

However, when she had changed her place too many time for me, I teased her about this old wives tale that says, you shouldn't change places frequently or you'll get married a lot of times. Actually, this only applies to your seating at the dining table je kot rasenye but I still wanted to tease her so I used it against her so I said to her loudly, "Nadhirah, tak baik tukar tmpt bnyk kali, nnt awak kawen bnyk kang baru tau!"

Suddenly Arep, another student looked up at me and said to me, "Cikgu mesti tak pernah buat dulu kan mase kecik².." with a VERY kunun-innocent smile.

I smiled back at him and told him, of course I never did such thing.. thinking he was praising my good behaviour..

..UNTIL I realized he was laughing while running away from me!

Cisss.. bengong! Hahahah.. but couldn't help laughing at how spontaneous he was when he teased me back =)

Takpe korang.. siap!!

LOTR lagi~

Heheh.. so last night, the 2nd installment of the LOTR was shown on TV2 (I thought it would be shown throughout the weekend kan last week.. salahhhh!)

Of course I'm excited to talk about it BUT I also know the craze was so long ago so mcm malu la kan nak ckp bnyk² lagi pasal LOTR ni kan hehe..

Still, wanted to update something..

Remember I said during the craze, I went and bought the books? Well, agak bongok jugak terase bile mau ngaku yg I NEVER FINISHED THE BOOKS! Hahah..

I'm guessing that these are among my few (read: VERY few!) book that I never finish.

Of course, I did start dengan semangatnye! After buying those books, I quickly wrapped them in plastic covers before choosing the Fellowship of The Ring as my night cap.. and mmg jadik bacaan tido coz I like tidoq sungguh lepaih baca, abaq ang!

The next night, I tried again with the same results hehe.. in the end, I gave up and just put the book back on the rack. Ok, there's nothing wrong with the book (klau tak, how could Soraya and Uncle Ahyauddin read it together as their father-daughter activity?) but the languange was too errr, complicated for me.. hmm, yeah! Complicated!

Where the book has been residing since..

I felt my eyes roll back into their sockets whenever I tried hard to read it, no matter how many time I tried. Thats why I decided, this is the one and only time I'd ever admit that a movie is better than its book!

Still, wanting to give myself a chance to prove I can handle 'difficult' English, I decided to skip Fellowship of The Ring and read The Two Towers (since THAT movie was due during the time I bought the book).. BUT, with the same results..

..and once again, I put the book back on the shelf!

Things didn't improve a year later when The Return Of The King was due. I tried agan, unsuccessfully, to read the book but still found it to be a great-for-trying-to-sleep kinda book (though I admit, I managed to understand the part when Gollum was the one who went down with the Ring at mount Doom)

So there, I actually DO have books that I never finish! I still keep those books though, just to pretend I'm intellectual.. pffffttttt..

But hey, a few days ago due to the frust-sbb-depe-bleh-plak-takmo-pasang-LOTR-tiap-hari, I decided to go through the books again.. and this time there a wee bit of improvement coz I suddenly realize The Return of The King is not that hard to read hehe.. the other two books tu still no comment la from me.

P/S
And just to share (sgt mengade kan!), I realized that 25th March (Ehemm~~ A special girl punye birthday.. ehem²! Heheh..) is the day of the fall of Sauron, thus, in Gondor, they have declared the 25th of March as their new year. And not only that, Sam Gamgee's first born, Elanor, was also born that day.. yeay!

Ok, I know la its fiction.. but its pretty cool kan hehe..