I was clearing up my room this morning. Byk barang siuuuuutt! All the boxes had to be unpacked and yesterday was a back breaking day when we had to move ALL our things from our old 'home'.
Since the tv didn't have an ariel yet, and my Apple wasn't connected at the time, I used the dvd player to play my song cds. Singing on top of my voice along with my favourite songs, I unpacked all my things. Suddenly, a song I haven't heard for a long time was on the player. It stopped me right in my tracks!
I remember, once, in a not such a distant time ago, I listened to this song about 20 times per day. Kononnya, very connected la to this song, but during that time, I really felt I was. Without realizing it, I kept repeating the song, with all the memories I have chosen to forget, flooding into my mind. But this time, though I still felt sad, it wasn't as bad as it was a year ago. Still regret everything, but maybe, I've finally come to terms with what happened.
Kena pulak, when I was going through my things, I found a momento my now-invisible bestfriend gave me years ago. Written on it was 'Thanks for being my bestfriend'. Once, this was the piece I held on to when I started being confused with my own feelings. I lost it after our fight, but suddenly I found it again. I hope this means a great new beginning for me. Kak Shima told me to just throw it away but I have kept it in a box where I keep everything he ever gave me, just for keepsake.
However, through it all, this song was played repeatedly, right to the moment where I stuffed the 'scared piece' into the box. I guess like Baizurah said, sometimes, we just WANT to feel sad but I'm glad to learn that its different for me now. I hope I can now go on with my life, without pondering on what happened.
And for all of you, I present 'My Song of The Year 2004'
How Could an Angel Break My Heart - Toni Braxton
I heard he sang a lullaby
I heard he sang it from his heart
When I found out thought I would die
Because that lullaby was mine
I heard he sealed it with a kiss
He gently kissed her cherry lips
I found that so hard to believe
Because his kiss belonged to me
How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart
I heard her face was white as rain
Soft as a rose that blooms in May
He keeps her picture in a frame
And when he sleeps he calls her name
I wonder if she makes him smile
The way he used to smile at me
I hope she doesn't make him laugh
Because his laugh belongs to me
How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wish our love apart
How could an angel break my heart
Oh my soul is dying, it's crying
I'm trying to understand
Please help me
How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart
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