Bile 1st time accident~

This has got to be among the worst days of my life kot.. though it only became the said 'one-of-the-worst' around 5pm this afternoon.

I was on my way to Honeys for some last minute cookie-ingredient purchase and had planned to go to the Sg Bakap bazaar for my iftar. I was THiS close to achieving my target.. =(

On the way, I was observing the windy day and remembering how it felt like to go kite flying with my brothers. Maybe it was because I was to engrossed in the memory, or maybe because I was glad of the rather cold day in exchange to a few hot ones with had this much.. I guess I wasn't thinking much when I went through this junction.

It was my fault, I was on the minor road but I had looked both ways to see the only car moving was still quite far away so I just pushed the accelerator without realizing the moving car was also doing the same thing.. and since he was driving a Perdana V6, guess what happened?

I quickly pulled up my car to the nearest curb, and tho I knew my car was in trouble, I was more concerned on the other guys car coz it was plainly my fault.

Okay.. so sy kene maki.. and I deserved it.

He forced me to go see at what had happened to his car so I went tho I knew I would never understand all those parts he was talking about. The only thing I herad was, "Sy cat tu pun RM5 000, baru siap semalam.."

Dan sekali lagi sy kene sumpah.. but I deserved it.

I kept saying I was sorry tho I knew 'sorry' doesn't make everything better at all.. as what he told me after I told him I was sorry and admitted to my mistake.

Then he went to everyone who had come around us saying the same thing over and over again and I felt like such a loser that I didn't realized I was shaking all over until and kindly Indian Uncle came up to me and asked me if I was okay. I tried clenching my fist as not to show how much I was trembling.

And once again they guy came up to me, he deserved to be angry, telling me dia nak balik jauh la (Sg Petani), dia dah abis bnyk duit kat kereta dia la (mmg nmpk cam bermodify bagai), was I blind kah (Okay, that hurt, but it WAS my fault) and he demanded I paid him RM550 for the towing cost from here to Sg Petani..

Fine, it was an understandable demand.. but I'm not exactly what they say as, 'cap duit' here. I tried telling him that I'm only a student whose only source of income is from my tuition classes but he didn't wanna listen and kept asking everyone to tell me to pay up by giving examples to them such as, "Klau dia langgar kete korg pun korg buat mcm tu jugak kan?"

Finally,  those people took me away from that guy and asked me to just wait by my car and not to go near that guy as he's still angry.. tp dia pulak ikuuuuuuttt sy smpi ke kete.. aduh!

I didn't realize how upset I was until out of no where, kak Ros (a fellow tuition teacher) came up beside me and asked what happened..

..it was then that sy yg cube nak macho just broke down unexpectedly!

Seriously, you don't think I wasn't upset do you?

I've had my license for 11 years now and not once have I been even in a minor accident. I'm not the most careful driver, but I think I do my best. Yes, I've had speeding tickets but only on highways, never on federal roads.

On top of that, I was all alone. All my friends had gone home for the raya holidays (even Puga!) and the only person here I could rely on before doesn't wanna be my friend anymore..

..and thinking about the cost the guy had demanded me to hand over to him made me shudder coz the pay I just received last week was to be stretched into to months expediture since there were no classes for Ramadhan, thus no pay for next month!

I.felt.so.lonely

I really didn't wanna cry. I didn't want that guy to think I was the kinda girl who'd ask for sympathy through tears (and NO! I'm not one of those.. I'm just a lame crybaby even dari dulu, not because I wanted to 'pancing' some sympathy.. my friends could vouch for that but would he know?!) but when I heard kak Ros asking me softly how I was, I couldn't stop myself..

It felt so bad when the guy talked to me as if I was this lousy driver who met with accidents every other day and who, since I knew I was wrong, I couldn't even defend myself coz I didn't wanna sound whiny. And it felt so stupid when I started crying tho I was trying my best to hide it by looking at the other direction all the time while discreetly trying to wipe the tears that just wouldn't stop falling.

God.. sometimes I wish I was more the defensive kinda person.. just to shut the person up!

I know I was wrong, but just because I rushed outta my car to apologize, didn't mean that I could take all that. I'm sure if I was more defensive, went out of my car and instead of apologizing, tried to point out his fault jugak, defensively I mean, mesti dia pun takde la melampau sgt kot nak kate kat sy mcm tu. Ni, mmg terpakse dengar and terime je ape dia nak cakap =(

..sedih tau!

And I didn't know WHERE to ask for help.

The people from the workshop told kak Ros to take me to the police station to file a report and back in kak Ros's car, I just let myself cry without trying to hide it anymore.

Ye, memang la sy sy salah.. memang sy deserve pun org tu ckp mcm² kat sy.. I just wish I could.. could ape? Ntah.. just wished it never happened..

At the police station, I told the police about what happened and they took the report (which somehow made me smile a bit through it when they told me NOT to say it was my fault) coz I kept insisting that it was.. depe pun penat kot dengar haha..

I really didn't know what to do, I had to ask the police what was the normal procedure and all that because that guy kan mntk me bg RM550 tu jugak² kat dia and when I went out, he wasn't around the police station so I didn't know how (or where I was gonna find the money) to pay him. I also didn't know how do you claim from your insurance or what was actually covered and all that.

But then I saw the guy from the workshop and since the police (Sarjan Nazri who was very kind) couldn't help me much there coz they didn't know much beyond the police report, I was kinda glad to see him. Nathan nama dia and he told me to bring a photocopy of the car grant, car insurance, my i/c and driving license to the workshop tomorrow. When I told him I didn't have any transport to go there, he was kind enough to offer to come and get it from me. Selamat tak yah nak pk call taxi ke ape ke coz number taxi stand tu pun sy dah tak simpan sejak² pakai kete..

..and it also turned out that they had asked kak Ros to send me to the ploce station just to get me away from that guy who had kept demanding at least RM550 there and then tu. I just hope they didn't do it out of pity (which I really hope was the case after Nathan made a face and told me to ignore it when I told him I had to pay the guy the money he wanted) I don't think I can stand any pity here.. =(

In the end, I asked help from Mat as I suddenly remembered about him. Thankfully, since his mother is staying with him at the moment, he didn't have to go back to Kulim for raye.. I felt a bit guilty for asking help from him as his house was on the opposite direction so he had to come pick me up mcm jauh la jugak kot but I'm glad he wanted to help me coz it turned out, taxi susah giler nak dapat from the police station in Jawi tu. He had offered to take me to the bazaar as I hadn't had a chance to buy anything for iftar but at that time, my appetite had gone AWOL and I wasn't really in the mood to be in a public place. I also didn't want to trouble Mat more so I just asked if he could send me home..

..so here I am now, in front of the computer with a grumbling tummy which suddenly decides to go hungry and a major headache. I do not even want to start thinking of whats gonna happen, how much I'm gonna have to pay or the perils of being without my dear, loyal PFK..

Hope you guys will have a WAY better end-of-Ramadhan-early-Syawal than me..