Say (All I Need) - One Republic

Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted

Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you make it

Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it

Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Yeah, better than you had it
(Better than you had it)

I said all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it

Mael's tag..

This is an old tag (Ayu ni suke je ckp old tag.. bukan nak wat awal² tu..!) Saje simpan (lupe sebenarnye.. bukak je blog, dah lupe nak update ape.. penyakit tua.. adeh!) Anyway..

Nama-nama timangan oleh org tersayang.

• Ayu - most used nickname which I share with a million other people haha.. C'mon, sape kat sini tak penah ade at least ONE friend name Ayu?
• kak Yong - for my brothers and sisters alike-with and without blood relations :)
• Ayong - my lil sister Annisa calls me this sebab pelat lagi tatau panggil kak Yong.. Izati jeles haha..
• Ikhwani - fav of Cikgu Pah, my add maths teacher. She always seems to stress the 'niii' in the end
• Idayu - mostly used by those who don't quite know me
• Ida - there was this mak cik who used to call me this everytime she saw me
• Nur - Hahah.. this by someone who refused to call me Ayu, kunun wanting to call me something other than what other people call me
• Wani - jugak mostly my teachers at AlMashoor.. and kak Ros used to call me this before I asked her to call me Ayu
• Tomato - Syida always called me this as was so prone to blushing at the slightest things!
• Bulat - nick name used by my dear 'cousins' Toroque and Yokies yang telah dijangkiti ke Salam and Bebe. Pastu, tak cukup ngan budak EE, diorg ajo plak budak Awam panggil camtu.. cetttt!!! Tak silap, this nickname originated from Tok Wan..
• Ketot - Stopa mengong!
• Spidergirl - Hmmm..

Updated: I once wrote an entry on my nicknames here.

Anda seorang yang...

• Giler clumsy - Ughhh, I'm wondering if I'd ever grow outta this trait!
• Tak tahu beza kiri dan kanan - Hahah.. and I become the butt of jokes among my family and friends because of this!
• Loves day dreaming a tad too much
• Suke buat bende tak fikir dulu.. pastu nyesal! - On a lot of serious things, tapi on funny things pun ade. Yesterday was on the phone with someone, dalam gelap sebab malas bukak lampu, while my hand was playing with something. An hour later, pas letak phone and on lampu, I realized I was playing with a tube of henna, thus the orangey right hand (Quite terang la sebab henna tu duk kat tangan dekat sejam kaaaan!) I'm displaying today hahah.. Giler buruk tangan ku hari ni!
• Ketot!!

Insan teristimewa. Describe apa yg membuatkan die terlalu istimewa di mata anda.

• Family - Depending on your point of view, they are a blessing and a curse, nak tanak, you're stuck with them heheh..
• Friends - Kate abg Fadzil, I love my friends because of my name :)
• Nak tau lagi ke..? Hahah..

Makanan favourite anda.
Hmm.. this is hard!!!

• Koay teow goreng/Char Koay Teow - pendek kate, adik beradik koay teow yang tidak bersup
• Nasik ayam especially nasik ayam Halimah Bachik in Tronoh and nasik ayam Periuk Besar in Kulim - now ade branch here in Pt Buntar tapi tak rase lagi
• Nasik apetah at Lot 10 Taman Maju, Tronoh.. sedap giler! Ade ayam masak cam sweet n sour gitu..
• Homemade chicken pie Sg Ara mariiii.. hehe..
• Almost entire menu of McD's
• Sharil's chocolate cake.. giler dah ketagih ni!! Secret Recipe pun kalah..
• Nasik beriyani kedai Nuar
• Nasik goreng ketam Juru
• Nasik goreng hailam Bangkok Tomyam, Bayan Lepas
• Nasik lemak kuning Pt Buntar - not exactly sedap giler.. tp sebab serve panas², dia jadik sgt yummy!
• Cheese Naan A.Rahman
• Tosei masala and puree kedai Nuar
• Pegedil mak Bart buat - gi raye umah dia pun mntk kat mak cik nak pegedil hehe..
• Chicken satay - especially klau ber'gang' ngan Salimin carik satay!
• Murtabak Pak Ku in Penang night market
• Kuah kacang+perut by arwah Pah Chu
• Mee Rebus Ramli in Ipoh - the only mee rebus I could eat hehe..
• Tok Chik's rendang - pagi raye, byk giler rendang kat umah dia, paling kurang mesti ade 3 jenis
• Keli bakar tepi sungai, air asam dia byk jenis ooo.. - apetah name kedai nye tu.. Ibu kot?!
• Erkkk.. kan dah kate its hard. Byk sgt dah niiii..

Favourite color

• Blue
• Pink
• White

Favourite songs
Ohh.. giler banyak!

• Currently tengah dengar balik lagu² Westlife yg lame, 1st album! Entire album pun suke :) Found the CD two nights ago. Kinda bitter sweet find..
• "Why do birds suddenly appear.."
• From Ana, "I can't smile withouuuut you.." hehe..
• "Rainy day", "Irresistable", "Breathless", "Don't Say You Love Me", "All the Love in The World" by The Corrs tp Rainy Day paling suke, lagu chumel!
• Tak mo list la.. byk sangat huhu..

Sikap yg membuatkan anda stress.

• Bile diri sendiri mule emo..
• When other people make me late - klau setakat nak gi jejalan, takpe la jugak. But when i'm late for work sbb org len, sgt la bengang!
• Bile duk ngan housemate yg bg tension hehe..

3 bende yg mesti ade dalam handbag anda....

• Purse (wajib!!)
• Spectacles - in case kene drive at night!
• Wet wipes

Kali terakhir anda menangis beriya-iya....kenapa??

• Hmm.. 2 nights ago.. :( Ade kene ngene ngan listening to Westlife today haha.. -no wonder I had a lousy weekend, huh? Tapi thanx to Adi sbb mau layan kakak dia emo..

I wud like to tag:

• Mael
• Ana - saje buh name depe w/pun depe la mulekan tag ni :p Bg nmpk byk name haha..
• Adi - budak pemalas jawab tag :p
• Amer
• Ayeen
• Pojie
• Nomi - jangan buat tak nmpk tag ni :p
• Dr Ina
• Dr Dzul
• Sentot - yang menggunekan alasan lupe password blog dia!

For you, a thousand times over..

Last week I went out with Bart outta total boredom (I think I wrote about going out with her in an earlier entry..). What I didn't write was that I had bought a book entitled The Kite Runner.
Now, I must say, its actually kinda late for me to notice this book, huh.. I read about it in a few of my friends blog.. Ayeen or Adura, I think. Then Dzul wrote about how he watched the film itself and somehow it made me wanna go find the film. But when I was out with Bart at Popular (she was searching for Ayat² Cinta), I found this book and despite having only RM50 in my purse, I bought the book.
Even then, I didn't read the book yet as I still had tons of other books I wanted to read. However, last night outta the blue, I suddenly remembered today was IM's birthday. Heck, I haven't thought about it for years and suddenly I'm remembering a lot of things. Made me a bit nostalgic and not to mention the ever-famous Ayu-being-emotional feeling. Couldn't sleep after that and was just deciding to watch a CD or something when the book caught my eye. It was still on my bookshelf, unwrapped yet with protective plastic cover (I usually wrap my bookms first before reading..)
I was debating whether to read it or watch a CD when once again the synopsis of the book caught my eye.. so it was decided then, I was gonna read the book!
..and I couldn't put it down!
It was a beautiful tale of friendship. Not just once or twice did I feel a lump in my throat when I read about Amir and Hassan. Hassan was such a loyal friend, you wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be okay. The part where he was sodomised after getting the prized kite was told very simply but effectively. You could feel the shame in Amir when he ran away, in fear he would get hurt. You could feel Hassan's sorrow in the days that followed.. and feel Amir's confusion in what he had done and what he could have done.
You'd feel amazed at how Hassan still told his son, Shorab and wife (can't remember her name) that Amir was his bestfriend in the world, even when he knew Amir had ran away when he was being victimized by Assef, Wali and Kamal.. and even when he knew, Amir had betrayed him, accused him of stealing just so he had an excuse to rid himself of the loyal Hassan.
But you'd also understand Amir's hope to win the approval of his father that he never understood.. and how he felt when the secret of Hassan's parentage was revealed by Rahim after Amir's father had passed away.. and how he felt when Rahim told him, "It's time to be good again.."
I especially liked the part when Hassan told Amir, "For you, a thousand times over.." when Amir wanted him to go run after the fallen kite. And how it became the tagline of the book. I wanted to cry along with Amir when Farid had said that to him in the hospital as you could see how much Hassan actually meant to Amir (even when Farid was confused on why Amir broke down after those words..) and I liked it in the end when Amir mouthed those word to Shorab as he took the little boy kite flying..
This is one book I'll really treasure.. and I've already made Ija read it heheh..
I'm not a good story teller but to those who'd like to know more about it, you can go here. And believe me, the book is worth every cent. Written in simple english and is suitable for everyone.. I even feel like buying it for my friends, just to share the beautiful story with all.
There are other elements in this story, about Afghanistan, about Taliban, about Islam (See, we're not terrorists! Only sometime people twist the words of Allah to suit their own sick mind, while they themselves immerse their wholeself in sin..) but what I liked most, and what I think dominates this book is the friendship between the two..
Friendship, when sincere, indeed is beautiful!

One year ago..

Semalam, kitorg (me, Irnis, ang Fadzil and Fared) went to the main campus of USM in Penang to meraikan our graduates. Yang di raikan termasuk lah Ramadhan and Salleh, both graduating with their masters degree.. Congrats!

Today, will be the day for the undergraduates from our campus so congratulations to Falha and Fahmi. I'm not going.. lari budget maaaaa! After paying the fees for my PhD, terase sedikit miskin dan rendah diri bagi diriku yang sememangnye rendah ("Bonsai" kate kak Shima hehe..)

Today is also exactly one year after I had my M.Sc convo. The picture above was taken, yup! Again, exactly one year ago. From left is Pojie, Fared (same Fared as the one who went with us yesterday.. so its his 'anniversary' too!), me, Erwan (tersorok sikit) and Leong. Heheh, rose among thorns! Picture was taken while the MC was saying, "..dan anda dilarang sama sekali mengambil gambar di dalam dewan ini!" Hahah.. budak² Awam yang degil!!!

It was a great event.. maybe coz I had to wait nearly a year after my viva for my convo. Lots of our friends came, not to mention the family yang konpem la datang kan! Gambar amik banyak giler.. bunge and adiah pun byk giler sampai tak cukup tangan nak membawaknye . I think I wrote an entry about it.. (tipu, dalam hati mmg tau ade tulis entry pasal konvo!)

Jap nak cari..

Hmm..

Tada!!! --> here

Was a great day walaupun pagi tu terkecoh² jugak la nak bersiapnye :) Went to pick up Pojie first as his parents had to check out first then rushed to USM. Luckily, I'm a supposedly Penangite so I knew which roads to take that weren't as busy! Nak pakai jubah pun can tuanggang terbalik, sib baik kak Shima and Nura helped me with that. Then spent a couple of hours trying to stay awake while there was a talk after a talk after another talk.. zzZZZZzzzzZZzz! The only thing that made me forget to be sleepy was when Erwan nudged me while asking me to spot WHO on the stage was SLEEPING with his mouth open (We were seated in the front row so we had a great view of the sleepy 'significant' on stage.. and believe me, there was more than one hahah..!)

When it was our turn, as usual, the wait was more longer than the event but we were satisfied and happy it was over. Pastu mule la jubah pun dah tak betul semua tu, tak yah control dah!

Then went out and took pictures.. and more pictures.. and more pictures! Heheh.. I sometimes think our friends were more excited than us, judging from the photos I keep.. and yes, I love them all for making it a great day!

Now a year has passed, new graduates are coming out from that hall and lots of things have changed. One person who had promised to come to my graduation didn't come but given the circumstances, I understand why and though I regret it, I'm not mad. One person I didn't really wanna see came into the graduation hall with me for the convo (Yup, the person was also a graduate!) hahah.. Things I felt that day, I still feel today, especially the good feelings.. and as for the not-so-good ones, they are better left buried and forgotten..

Thinking back on that day to today, I guess I've grown a lot in between.. and not only physically haha.. yup! I'm somehow gained some of the weight I lost a few months prior to the convo.. and I'd like to think that as a person, I've also grown. The path to be a better person still seems very steep, but I hope my baby steps towards it matters..

And as for the graduates: Congratulations!

The love of my life.. and diminishing passion(?)

Hmm.. felt like days since the last entry, when its actually not even a week. Been wanting to update since Monday but had my first Geomatic class (thus the diminishing passion haha.. passion in teaching laaaa..) which only took the whole afternoon but my nerves weren't right eversince that morning.. giler takut! Nnt diorg tanye soklan tak leh jawab, camne?

Anyway, last week, I just realized something I would've never admitted.. and never thought was true! I actually love food haha.. and food makes me smile! Uhh, patut le rase berat hahah..

Wednesday saw me with the walnut-and-carrot cupcake as well as the blueberry ones, which I happily distributed to everyone as I know, they too love food! Then Thursday was the suprise cuppies made by kak Ana (which somehow made the smell of strawberries+chocolate still fill my days till now) and given by sweet Ana (Ana mesti buat muke bace ni haha..), crazy Adi and cheeky Mael :)

Friday saw me going to Sunway with Bart as we were both in need of 'lonely company' haha.. besides, haven't met her for a while. Went to eat at Noodle Station but I ordered the nasik goreng tomyam.. tasted more like the nasik goreng tomyam we did at home, but more 'kosong' haha.. 3 ekor udang jek?!! Lapo nye pasal, nearly finished the whole plate gak. Then went to grab the apple slices of Secret Recipe yg very generous with the apples.. yummy!

Eh.. lupe plak! Lunch for that day was the yummy nasik beriyani kedai Nuar :) Only sold on Fridays heheh..

On Saturday plak had my usual classes except my form 1 class that had to be postponed to Sunday due to the hari ganti cuti Raya or something like that. Still, was feeling a bit tired by the afternoon so my temper was a bit short that night during my form 2 class. One boy kept playing around and when I asked him what I just taught him 5 minutes ago, he just said "I dunno.."

Ayu mule la marah.. I wouldn't be mad if I knew he was slow, I was mad coz I knew he was talking while I was teaching, maka bermulelah sessi leter meleter heheh.. tengah sedap berleter, got a phone call from a familiar ringtone. A bit confused her but I just picked up the phone while pointing to the boy to do his calculations.. and the phone call made me smile again!

Tau kenape..?

Ni la sebab kenape heheh.. the 'promised' nasik dagang! Yummy.. sedap tu, berbaloi tunggu dekat setahun untuk budak ni tunaikan janji. The pic above is just a quarter portion given to me. Gile byk.. ni nak cover setahun punye janji ek?

Then on Sunday, had my form 1 class in the morning and went straight to Sunway Carnival. Just remembered I had my Geomatics class starting this week, and had no t-shirts to wear during the field work. Bukan le takde langsung, just dah buruk sangat.. Went there at 12.30pm and arrived back home at 2.30pm hehe.. laju tak saya shopping?!?

That night, while praying, got an sms. A bit confused jugak here coz I thought it was yesterday's sms yang baru dpt arini.. you know, sometimes Maxis kan memang camtu but the person assured me it was a new sms. And this made me smile lagi.. know why?

Waaaaaahh.. currypuffs!! As I said in one of my previous entries, "Sape tak suke karipap?!". Mau plak this is also a promised karipap sardin, nyum²! The picture above was only taken after I had gone through few currypuffs haha.. the rest here was kept for sahur! Thank you!!! :)

Then next day on Monday, my mind was going to the nasik tomato Bamboo Inn. Used to be my favourite when me and the HiTEG group would go there for lunch. After the HiTEG group was 'disbanded' a while, I usually went there with my housemates (when I stayed with kak Kt and kak Shima) then after that, usually went alone to tapau for iftar.

I had actually debated whether to fast or not since I had my first Geomatics class, and seriously, by 3.30pm I was already thinking of glasses of icy water. It didn't help that the students had bought bottles of cold 7up Revive and for the first time in many years, I wanted to drink a carbonated drink.. or more exclusively, the 7Up Revive! Gile tul, watching them drink it was soooooooooooooo refreshing and it took a whole lot of willpower to not go to KM and buy one for myself haha..

After the class, a VERY exhausted Ayu went back to school.. was debating with myself whether I really liked teaching or not as I still remember the panicky feeling I had when Dr Sanusi announced, "Miss Ayu is our fellow here and any difficult questions should be referred to her. Only simple questions should be asked to me.." Ceh..

Was also debating whether I still wanted nasik tomato for iftar. Luckily, cikgu Farah was here so she wanted to go to and we had a nice dinner of nasik tomato though didn't get a chance to take a photo of it since I was soo hungry by the time our dish arrived. Opps, forgot to say here.. went to Muaz to buy 7up Revive before going to Bamboo Inn.. and finished half a bottle in one gulp hahah..

Also ordered some yong tau foo (jugek tiade gambo di sini..). I've always loved Bamboo Inn's Yong Tau Foo as it taste like the one you could get at Taiping.

Now you see why I said food is the love of my life?

Anyway, got this just now.. chumel tak?

Still smiling..

Funny how when something makes you sad, you can still hide it.. once.. twice.. trice.. but once you can't hide it any longer, it feels as if you'd never feel happy..

But say amidst feeling low and down and sad and miserable, ONE thing comes up to make you smile.. you find yourself smiling for days heheh..

Kak Ana smsed me this morning while I was doing my laundry and told me she had updated her fotopages. For all of you, her complete fotopages can be found at my side bar, but the entry she wanted me to see was this. To kak Ana, saya ngajar kat sini bukan as lecturer but as a graduate assistant je, saya ni budak baru belajar.. But thanx, gambar di fotopages kak Ana (as can be seen above) cantik compared to the ones I took using my phone (as can be seen below hehe..)! And also, thanx for the smiles (which also applies to Ana, Adi and Mael!)

Hehe.. Ayu sangat happy!

..continuing from the previous entry!

Okay, got the call from kak Ana, the cupcake maker where you can find here, who told me she had arrived and was waiting for me. But to tell you the truth, I was chatting with Ana and right before I went down, I saw her change her status to "La la la la la :p~".. and somehow, I guess soemthing clicked in me. But then again, even as I was suspecting kak Maria, when I saw Ana online, something told me she was on to something hahah..

And look what I got..

Okay, the pics might be a bit misleading.. takkan diorg bg 4 je kot? But those four are the ones I 'hid' haha.. Reason being: I'm fasting today and counting the seconds until iftar.

The message wrote: To Ayu.. Be happy and smile always! Suprise from Ana, Adie and Mael. We love you, take care!

And kak Ana told me, they wanted her to make me something that would make me smile, considering the state I've been in the past few days (emotional was more like it hahah..). True enough, I can seem to stop smiling yet.. and maybe I should say, this is the first time I've been really suprised. I've been trying to remember the last time I was suprised but I can't seem to remember so I guess the award goes to these three people who are more family than friends to me (except Adi la whom like it or not is still my blood! Heheh, jgn marah Adi!)

First thing I did was run up to the postgraduate room.. or more like first thing I wanted to do! The actual thing I did was go to Hurman and Sham's room to give some to them. They've been very helpful to us postgraduates even if some may argue its their job. There was a new staff in their room so he got one too..

Then went to give some to Sharil, Lah, Pojie and En Hanif who also have been quite big helps to us. I could say they were smiling more than me at the cupcakes, considering I had just given them some blueberry and walnut/carrots cupcakes yesterday, but I guess the sight of chocolate and strawberries makes everyone happy, huh? Especially considering that all of us have been quite busy, what with the OBE and everything..

Then went to share with my fellow HiTEGians. But 2 were on leave so I only got to share with 6 of them.. and was called the cupcake girl too hahah.. Kak Bibah told me, she just earlier told everyone how she'd like to eat strawberries and now she had one in her hands :)

In the postgrad room, Yee and Ad were tense because of their undergraduate classes they had to teach (Strength of Materials which I talked about in yesterday's entry) and how the students were bugging them even during their lab. So both were smiling happily at the cupcakes, and even Yee who doesn't eat much finished hers in record time while telling me how delicious it was. Then gave to another two student who didn't wanna eat them because 'they were too pretty too be eaten' hehe..

So, as I said to Ana, kak Ana (and Mael if he read this entry), the intended one smile for me has branched into 3+4+6+4=17 more smiles! Thanx guys.. you're the best! And I love all of you too :) :) :)

P/S

So tak leh la nak emo² esok ye, Ayu heheh..

P/S2

To kak Ana.. sgt sedap cupcakes tu! Choc byk giler and the smell of choc+strawberry sgt² bes and made me sgt tak sabo to iftar :)

Suprise?

I'm supposed to have a day off today. Doing nothing but watching reruns of House (which reminds me: I went to Feringghi to buy the complete 4th season but just my luck, the police were doing a patrol hahahah.. tu la Ayu, buat 'jahat' lagi :p) then going for Cikgu Wan Shukri's form 4 class tonight.. but I got a phone call requesting me to go to USM for a suprise..

I'd like to say I'm excited, but mostly I'm confused! I mean, as far as the perasan me is concerned, the only person I know who loves to suprise people is ME! So its kinda weird when the girl told me it was from a friend who wanted to suprise me.. and this is actually the kinda thing I would've done.. NOT my friends! So yes, I'm confused..

The only person I can think of is kak Maria who sometimes brings me teddy bears (eventhough she was the one pregnant then..) and even 'kain' for baju kurung..

We'll see..

Roller coaster day

The day started ok enough, I guess..

Was avoiding someone, so in order to avoid this someone, I had to meet another someone. Somehow, the other someone came late. And when the other someone arrived, the first someone was the someone who told me the other someone had just arrived. I wonder why the other someone had asked the first someone to inform me? It was a bit awkward as I usually meet the first someone. And now, THIS someone a.k.a Me dah pening bace ayat² di atas hahah.. (Feeling sad and guilty..)

Anyway, felt a bit.. dumb? I dunno, not really comfy after that but just sat quietly in my cube minding my own business. Oh, almost forgot! Yesterday I had bought some cupcakes from kak Wan again. Yummy carrot and walnut with cream cheese topping.. though only one entered my tummy.. and bagus jugak! Been feeling a bit heavy nowadays hehe.. Distributed the rest to my 'family' here.. and they loved it! Bleh la order lagi ye, kak Wan :) (Feeling really happy!)

Then got a letter that should be a blessing but I took as a catastrophe in disguise! Panik².. Didn't know what to do then Dr Hamidi was also MIA so didn't know who to ask. On other circumstances, I would've loved this letter.. but not now. Though I was touched that Dr Hamidi wanted to help me, thus THE LETTER! And thus the starting of the roller coaster of feeling panicky, touched, happy and worried :D

Solat pun tidak khusyuk! Had to re-pray (Uhhh, Ayu making up her own words again!) as midway I forgot how many rakaat I had performed.. teruk sungguh! Then went up to see Dr Hamidi and had Dr Sanusi calling me to set my teaching schedule. Told him about my problem and he laughed, "Orang nak bagi duit pun you tak nak ke, Ayu?" (Feeling stupid and as if I made a mountain outta an anthill)

Still, I accepted the Geomatic class (Ayu perasan dia masih ingt Geomatics hahah..) and will start on Monday and already begged Zabidi to give me a clue on the next class haha.. Truth is, it was a choice between Strength of Materials and Geomatics. Both are not my strong subjects but at least I enjoyed Geomatics in my first year so naturally, I chose that particular subject. Hey, if I'm gonna spend the next few months living and breathing in the classes, trust me, I WON'T choose Strength of Materials! Anyway, Dr Sanusi asked me to meet Pn Mona on the issue, and she too laughed at me. (Feeling not really prepared for the class.. and feeling malu sbb asyik kene gelak!)

Adeh! Truth is, as far as my knowledge on the matter, its wrong.. but in the long term, its better than what I have now. Still, I'm obliged to stay till December so agak panik. But Pn Mona assured me it was okay and though I'm still not convinced, at least I feel a bit relieved that InsyaAllah I won't be off the list. And yes, also a bit malu since I had cause a storm in a tea cup by asking the opinions of kak Ja and kak Ros and abg Fadzil beforehand. (Like I said in this paragraph.. feeling relieved and ashamed!)

Now that the matter is solved (at least to me la since they told me tak yah pk dah), I'm feeling a bit blue balik though a bit gladly suprised to see Cikgu Farah coming to school after such a long time away. I'm also reading the manual for Geomatics that Zabidi told me to understand while crossing my fingers that he's not pulling my leg and make me embarassed on Monday when I realize I've read the wrong thing.. (Feeling a bit blue, a bit suspiscious and a bit glad!)

Somehow, I don't think the roller coaster ride is over yet. My heart tells me something else might just happen before the day ends and I'm NOT looking forward to another plunge in the day and since I only have my form 1 class after this, I'm suspecting they're gonna be trouble for me today..

Uhhh, Ayu sangat negative today hahaha.. (Feeling negative!!! Hahah..)

*tension*

Kenape kene avoid it?!?!

Ughhh Ayu, what are you doing?

Help me..

Yes! I'm serious!! Pt 2

Hohoh.. di pagi Sabtu ini, Ayu berade di school! Miracle!! Selalu time ni berguling lagi ngan selimut sambil memeluk bolster kesayanganku itu..

Ini semue gare² nak berubah selepas mendaftar.. tp kot ye pun, sweet mind o mine, tunggu la Isnin! Of course I planned to be a good student after I've registered.. that means coming to school before 8am and do my research for most part of the day (Ye, saye sedie maklum, addiction to read other people's blog tetap menjadi agenda utame diriku setiap hari.. berserta rase tanggungjawab untuk memberi Neopetku makan dengan secukupnye agar dia membesar bagai juare!) Tapi tolong la wahai Ayu's conscience, hari ni Sabtu laaaaa.. kasik la can bgn lambat!!

Yesterday after registering, dan jugak bersempene Salimin menghantar final 3 copies of his thesis AND menggunekan jugak sebab Falha boleh grad tahun ni, the three of us decided one final movie together (before Salimin goes back to Sarawak this afternoon.. and before, seperti doa Ayu, Salimin sambung PhD gak temankan kak Ayu dia ni heheheh.. Klau Salimin tau, konpem roll his eyes sampai nak terkuar matenye ahah!) We went to watch the Mummy (apetah tajuk nye kali ni?) but were quite disappointed. Hmm, maybe we had to high of an expectation here, sbb tu kot.. the movie was ok² laaaa.. but I won't say great movie. I like the previous two Mummies better la, in short.

Then pagi ni, we went for breakfast together (Yup! Us Three Stooges again) at the nasik lemak kuning shop. Gile lame tak makan sini.. dah lupe dah rase nasiknye hehe.. the adik air there sengih je nampak me, tanye nape la akak dah lame tak datang makan sini, dah tak suke ke? Hahah.. nice to know you are remembered kan! :)

So now I'm in school coz I know, going back home to try and sleep jugak would be pointless. I'm having my class at 2.15pm though so by 1pm I'm going back home.

Truth is, perasaan terketor pas bayo yuran semalam is still with me (wpun sedikit konpius coz the whole week I've been insomnic, then last night plak I selpt like a baby!). Sheesh! Seriously, smlm termimpi² beli oven uwaaaaaaaaaaaa! Mane tak nye, once I've registered, it means no turning back.. and frankly, that scares me! (And I'm not just talking about the semesterly fee yang jugek akan membuatkan rambutku beruban-hepp! Blum beruban lagi yeeee!)

Yesterday, talked to Fahmi (also an RO like me but he's my junior by a million years! Yup! Thats how old I feel..) and told him, "Pasni akak nak serious la, tanak buang mase cam MSc dulu. Kali ni nak banyak konsentret research so cepat habis. Nak bykkan publication semua tu.. so pasni I have to be serious, takde nak main².."

Dan hatiku telah menjerit, "Cetttt!" apebile Fahmi menggelakkan diriku yang sedang serious. Hahah.. mmg cett! Bukan nak bg sokongan, ade dia gi gelak.. Okay la, now when I think of it, it DOES seem farfetched hehe.. uhh, tapi tak baik la gelak kat org.. dah le suh org jadik mentor dia (mane dia dpt the ridiculous idea pun tatau)! Babap jugak kang budak kecik sorang tu..

Hehe, still remember yesterday when taking the picture for the smartcard, Ija rechecked her photo, wanting a 'nice' picture. But the technician was a bit dumbfounded kot when I didn't wanna check my photo. Ughh, still hate taking pictures, lantak le gambar ku macammane nnt.. Had smsed Dr Farhan (He too, 'registered' at the ministry today hehe..) and mesti dia lege, klau tak risau je kang student penakut dia ni lari haha..

Anyway, still wondering, can I manage?

Ayu ni dah la pemalas..

..tak pandai plak tu!

..tambah plak pemalas lagik

..pastu otak pun tak berape bijak

..dan dia jugek sgt malas!

*sigh*

Tgk tu, tak sempat ape lagi dah ngeluh.. ape ni, Ayu?!?!

Haha.. I dunno! Sometimes I wonder, where does the path of my life lead to? Tau², Tuhan dah tetapkan semua tu even before we were born, but I wish I had a bit of a clue here. Other people would muntah hijau dah asyik duk USM jek.. and if you count those years when I practically was raised in USM since I was small, I think mine won't just be green, but various shades of the rainbow.. (Okay, its starting to sound gross here!)

Alamak! Starting to feel the startings of self-pity here.. shooh! Shooh! Okay la, better stop.. kang I ramble tah pa per la pulak nanti hehe.. till next time! Ciao!

Yes! I'm serious!!

Dengan ini, saya, Nurikhwani Idayu mengisytiharkan saya sudah selamat mendaftar sebagai pelajar penuh masa di Pusat Pengajian Kejuruteraan Awam dan bakal meneruskan pengajian saya walaupun dirasakan otak saya sudah teroksida dengan teruknya akibat sudah lama tidak serius dalam pembelajaran. Doakan lah saya semoga berjaya menghabiskan sisa² masa belajar ini dengan cara yang berfaedah dan keputusan yang memuaskan..

*Uhhhhh, takuuuuut!! Ketor tangan membayo yuran nye tadi. Terase sungguh berat melepaskan duit yang di tangan sejak malam semalam dan terbayangkan washing machine front loader brand new serta oven untuk membuat kuih raya beserta microwave untuk memanaskan makanan kesukaan saya berterbangan di dalam kepale*

P/S Gambo courtesy of Ana gune Facebook nye application with no doubt heheh..