First time.. Lifehouse?

Ok la.. lame attempt at a joke for the title there. Tp seronok jugak nyanyi lagu ni di kale diriku tiade idea untuk memulekan progress report for Dr Farhan.

Anyway.. sound familiar? Somehow, agreeing with Ana and Mael, this tag sounds and looks familiar but when I went through the recent entries, there were no similar entries so I guess I'd amuse myself answering these questions :)

1) 1st time naik kapal terbang
Must be when I was 2.. Ikut Abah gi UK for his PhD and Mama pun buat degree dia kat sane jugak mase tu.. There were four of us including Iwan. Adi was 'with' us.. kinda! Made in Malaysia but manufactured in Newcastle hehehe..

2) 1st time beranak
Aiyak!! Diriku tiade jawapan untuk soalan di atas :D

3)1st time gi overseas
Same answer as in Q1. Tapi kalau kire, saya lahir kat Penang and for the first two years of my life duk ngan arwah Pah and Tok kat Kuale Kangsar.. so klau perjalanan balik Kuale itu dikire 'oversea', maknenye time baby dulu la 1st time saya gi oversea :p

4)1st time duduk jauh drp family
Kulim.. heheh, jauh beno la tu, Ayu! Mase matrik nih.. Ishhh, kire jauh jugak tu.. kene naik bas gi Jetty, then kene naik ferry, then kene naik bas ke Kulim. Byk la tu..

5)1st time kerja
Ohh, terase diri sangat kerdil di sini. If kerje in sense of 'KERJA', tak penah!! Tapi klau jadik RA then RO jap pas degree, then tutor tempat tuition for the past 5-6 years and sekarang RO balik before daftar for my PhD this Friday.. erkkk, bleh kire as kerje ke tu?!?!

6) 1st time rasa diri gemuk
Hmm.. secare jujurnye, saya tak penah rase kurus pun.. Uwaaaaaaa.. no wonder sgt low self-esteem!!

7)1st time bercinta?
Ahahahah.. *gelak sampai tak leh jawab* :p

8)1st time rasa diri cantik??
Actually jawapan same seperti Q6.. tp cam tipu je sbb sumer org mesti penah at least rase camtu sekali kan? So I'll say time darjah 2, masuk tarian Inang ramai² ngan kawan² lain n cikgu buh makeup tebal gile.. Rase lawo kot time tu but I guess klau tgk gambo time tu balik, mesti rase cam opera cine ke ape ke eheheh..

9)1st time masuk cinema
Umor berape tak ingat, but it was either mase tengok Teenange Mutant Ninja Turtle (movie dulu, bukan yg baru tunjuk aritu!) with Abah, my siblings, Ayah Chor and his children.. OR mase tengok Batman (jugak bukan movie yang baru tu.. tp tak ingat dah movie Batman yang mane ntah!) with Abah and my siblings! Mase tu tengok kat cinema style Capitol tu jek.. mane de GSC ke ape ke lagik time tuh..

10) 1st time admitted in hospital
Alhamdulillah lah belum lagi..

Hehe.. God is amusing me :)

Hmm.. since the previous entry doesn't spring out balloons and confetti, I thought I'd share a moment that made me smile yesterday, and made me realize that God cheers you up in all sorts of ways :)

Around a year or two ago, my junior Lie had given me this song he dubbed as 'lagu kak Ayu mesti akan suke'. It was a song from the movie Shrek and the first time I heard it, I thought it was too slow for my liking. But as I heard it again and again, I actually find it beautiful.. seriously! I love the music, the lyrics..

I've been trying to pin point on which Shrek movie this was from. I had re-watched the third and second installment but couldn't find the song. Then, last Friday, being a bit free than usual, I thought I'd watch the 1st and and voila! I found the exact moment this song was played on the movie.. and since I always replay all song I liked, I found myself listening to the song again the next day when I went to my class.

At that moment, I was stopping at the red light and this song was on my CD player. As I rested my head on my seat to dream of the song (Echewaaahhh!! Hahaha..), two butterflies flew in the front of my windscreen, making me smile a bit imagining those butterflies hearing the song too.. then, would you believe it or not, a gentle breeze blew some flowers right to my car! I sat up straight and laughed out loud while marvelling at how beautiful it was.. and at that time, I knew God was cheering me up, making me laugh the way He knows I would..

Artist: Jason Wade (Lifehouse)
Song: You Belong to Me

See the pyramids around the Nile
Watch the sun rise from the tropic isle
Just remember darling all the while
You belong to me

See the market place in old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember when a dream appears
You belong to me

And I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember till you're home again
You belong to me

Oh I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember till you're home again
You belong to me

Hmm.. Karipaf ohh karipaf

Why currypuffs eh?

Last Thursday, was talking with Sharil. Suddenly, the topic of currypuffs came up.. truth is, 'something' was practically begging to come outta my head at that time but dengan degilnye Ayu shoved the thought back in her head.. still, the part of me who knew WHAT was the thing trying to come outta the corner of my head felt a bit.. I dunno.. uncomfy? Nostalgic?

Anyway, Friday afternoon, Sharil asked for the extension of this room and when I picked up the phone, he suprised me with.. yeah, you guessed it, home-made currypuffs! Yeay!! He had been meaning to give it to me in the morning but since I only came at 2, I guess I only got to have it that afternoon. So after clearing my things, went to his room to go get them and all the while, the-thing-I-shoved-at-the-back-of-my-head came rearing with its ugly butt back into my head..

You know, I very seldom cook.. except during Ramadhan or when I'm at home la kot. And whenever I cook for friends, I usually only cook things I'm confident of haha.. with family tak kire la, konpiden tak konpiden, korg makan jugak ape kak Yong masak but with friends, I usually only cook things I can prepare with my eyes closed.

So how does currypuffs come in this?

Well, lets see.. around 5 years ago, I had a best friend whom I had the misfortune to fall in love with. Around the time he was finishing his master's degree, he asked me to belanja him something. Me, already feeling confused with what I was feeling for him, was afraid. I didn't wanna go out with him, just in case he could guess my feelings so I tried my best to pretend I didn't mind. Then one day, when I asked him what did he want me to buy him, he just smiled and said, "Karipaf!"

I knew currypuffs were among his top kuih, as most of us. Heck! Who doesn't love them? But yes, I was confused.. nak suh saya beli karipaf ke?

The next time we talked, he told me, not just ANY currypuff, he wanted MY currypuff. One I did myself.. and I went "O-oh!"

Back at home, currypuffs are an occasion. We'd usually do it with Mama giving instructions while me, Adi, Ikram and Izati doing it. It was a family thing, involving everyone at home (yang nak join je laaa..) and we'd make enought to last us for a week haha. Sometimes, when we feel wacky enough, we'd pun our own filling. Once we used fruit preserves. Of course it was fun but try eating it hot. The syrupy fruit burnt our tongue.. padan muke! And when it was cooled down, it was too sweet to eat anyway hahah.. such a waste huh.. but extremely fun! Especially when we'd paint the currypuffs using food colouring just to show who did which currypuff.. macam terre la sangat kaaaan! Hahah..

Anyway, with IM putting his foot down on the currypuff issue, I was panicked! I mean, I've never done currypuffs alone.. and to think that I'm doing it for someone I really liked, it scared me! What if I accidently poisoned him with my first-time currypuffs?

Still, went back to Penang to start doing it. I guess Mama was a bit confused on why I insisted on doing it alone and giler tul, spent the whole morning doing those currypuffs. It has always been my job to take care of the pastry so that wasn't anything new but I was jumpy all the time I was doing the meat-and-potato filling. Was it too salty? Did I put too little salt? Was the spices enough? Was the meat cooked enough? Haha, I guess I really wanted it to be perfect..

Then I sat at the dining table, kneading the pastry then taking the rolling pin and working on it. A good thing Mama had trained all of us on the 'sealing' of the currypuff and the importance of doing it neatly so by this time, I had relaxed a bit.. but still wondering, "Would he like it?"

Made quite a lot as I made some for the family too.. mane leh tak buat utk family kan? Lagi² plak klau diorang suspect nanti hahah.. But since I made A LOT and ALONE, mistakes were bound to happen. I nearly cried when my pastry become ugly after I had accidently left them on the kitchen counter instead of the fridge before frying them. The kitchen was hot and my pastry become.. sheesh! I dunno the right word for it, but it wasn't what it was supposed to be.

I came back to the campus with my ugly currypuffs and nearly threw them away since I thought IM didn't know I had made them but somehow, I still wonder how he does that, he knew.. and of course I had to give them to him.. feeling very ashamed of my currypuffs and fearing what he thought of them.

But him being him, told me he loved it (Though I suspect he might be lying through his teeth.. silap² dia bg kucing makan ape hahah..) even if he thinks (he said this himself) I must've left the currypuffs outside for too long before frying (See! Even HE knows.. cehhh!! Well, he used to help his mum sell kuih so I guess he's more of an expert in this..)..

And though I don't believe the part that he loved it (C'mon, even I could see I had screwed it up! It didn't look one bit like the currypuffs me and my siblings did together!), he still made me smile.. and wish I had done better hahah..

So, well, the past few days, I keep remembering this exact time of my life. The 'Currypuff Story' that nobody knew till now and suprisingly, I find it hilarious haha.. I dunno what I was thinking, making something I'm not confident of, for a boy I really liked. I guess, I liked him enough to risk it all.. tak sangke!

But then, this memory brought back a bit more than I bargained for as last night, once again I found myself opening my Pandora's Box, wondering and questioning the things that went wrong.. and just for today, I think I'm gonna let myself miss my Invisible Friend..

:(

Found in one of my old entries..

Missing someone is a terrible but at the same time, sweet feeling. U will be sitting around wondering if u meant anything to him/her. Thinking if he/she ever cares about u.

Rushing to the phone once it rings hoping that it's him/her.

Looking out of the window hoping that he/she will surprise u by appearing downstairs.

Sitting in front of the television but thinking of him/her missing the final episode of your favourite show.

Lying on your bed, thinking of the last time u went out together.T

hinking of how nice it will be to sit under the stars again, talking about everything, your dreams, plans, future.

Logging on to the internet hoping to see him/her online. When u realise that he/she isn't online and did not return your page, u will start worrying if he/she is okay.

Missing someone is a way of growing up i guess. It exposes you to loneliness. It teaches you how to cope with being lonely and let you know that there is actually a feeling known as emptiness. Sometimes it feels good to miss someone. You know that you really care and you indulge in the feeling of loving/caring for him/her. But missing someone and not knowing if he/she is feeling the same is terrible. You feel as if you are being left alone. So if you miss someone, tell him/her and let them know. At the same time, ask if they miss you.

Don't let the feeling of missing someone become jealousy or paranoid. If u are the one being missed and u know it, let the other party know. If u miss him/her too, tell them. Don't let them wait.

Google Me

Go to Google and search the phrase.

Please include the double quotation marks “…”

Tag friends.

Please use your REAL 1st name.

Use the first thing that comes up that makes sense. Example: "Ayu needs"

Q: Type in “[your name] needs” in the Google search: "Ayu needs”
A: "Ayu needs someone tall to compensate for her height, I guess.." (Ceh!! Sungguh terase..)

Q: Type in “[your name] looks like” in Google search: “Ayu looks like”
A: "Ayu looks like a kid" (Haha.. ceh!!)

Q: Type in “[your name] says” in Google search: “Ayu says”
A: "Ayu says the day the dream ends is like the snow melting under the spring sun" (Uh, Ayu being poetic, huh?)

Q: Type in “[your name] wants” in Google search: “Ayu wants”
A: "Ayu wants a green light saber: It symbolizes Luke Skywalker being a complete Jedi. And a complete friend Ayu is" (Hahah.. tak penah mimpi pun nak light saber.. Adi mungkin, klau Ayu nak pun sebab nak bg kat Adi hehe.. )

Q: Type in “[your name] does” in Google search: “Ayu does”
A: "Ayu does not need a freaking ladder to kiss Yuichii" (Cisss, another 'comment' on my ketotness!)

Q: Type in “[your name] hates” in Google search: “Ayu hates”
A: "Ayu hates high places, what's with her..." (Oitt.. oitttt.. I DON'T hate high places.. just because I'm ketot doesn't mean I hate anything 'high'!!)

Q: Type in “[your name] asks” in Google search: “Ayu asks”
A: "Ayu asks where on Earth she heard that, and denies the Asakusa outing was a real date" ('Ayu' here must be a cartoon character ke ape ke.. sbb Ayu tak penah dating ngan org name Asakusa pun :p)

Q: Type in “[your name] goes” in Google search: “Ana goes”
A: "Ayu goes half deaf." (Waaaa.. tidaaaakk! Mintak simpang!!!)

Q: Type in “[your name] likes ” in Google search: “Ayu likes”
A: "Of course there's a boy that Ayu likes, Kaji." (Nope! Name dia bukan Kaji ahahahah.. :p)

Q: Type in “[your name] eats ” in Google search: “Ana eats”
A: "Ayu eats the chocoball and... turns into a boy! Ayu wanted to be able to be better at sports, and like this, she is!" (Uhhh.. gile! Takmo jadik boy..)

Q: Type in “[your name] wears ” in Google search: “Ayu wears”
A: "Nah, I don't think Ayu wears too much makeup..." (Haha, mane la reti pakai makeup² niiiii..)

Q: Type in “[your name] was arrested for” in Google Search: “Ana was arrested for”
A: "Last year, a transsexual named Ayu was arrested for just chatting with a friend at a bus stop, then was seriously beaten by religious authorities" (Cett.. ade ke gune name Ayu! Uhhhh.. marah niii!!)

Q: Persons Ayu wanna tag; (not from Google)
A: Hahah.. couldn't resist la this tag. Malam semalam dah buat dah and tergelak² bace Ana punye.. So I'm gonna tag the usual suspects la.. Sentot, Soraya, Dr Ina, Dr Dzul, Ayeen, Pojie, Amer, Jida and semua yang bace.. C'mon la.. be a good sport and do it. I found it highly entertaining last night heheh..

My long weekend

Actually nye, tadek idea ni..

Tapinye.. dari tadi my paper duk cam tu gak. No words added nor omitted. Pastu tangan mule la gatal bukak Neopet haha..

Nway, lets talk about the weekend of someone with almost no life :D

On Friday, went to kak Shima's. She hadn't watched The Dark Knight yet and since I loved the movie, what the heck, tengok je la dua kali.. and yes! I noticed a whole lot of things I missed during my first show of it.. "SkyHook" haha.. Got sms from Ellie Cupcake tapi tak pasan, ghalit melihat Batman, especially coz kak Shima kept declaring she's falling in love with Bruce Wayne.. every 5 minutes!!! Hahah..

Slept at kak Shima's and early next morning came back here. Was actually very sleepy (had a Princess Hour marathon at kak Shima's until 5am) and sambung tido on the couch. Woke up when it was nearly 12pm hahah.. and quickly got ready for my class.

Then became the Incredible Hulk jap. Marah at these boys in my class, PMR is just a matter of months tp 'radius' and 'diameter' pun tak tau differentiate. Mane tak ngamuk Teacher Ayu, they couldn't care less. Then did some simultaneous equation and once again THE SAME BOY not only tak tau nak buat, but also boleh bersembang ngan kawan sebelah when I wanted to explain YET AGAIN to him. Grrrr..

And to add insult, mase tengah ngamuk tu the annoying teacher came into my class.. with a smug look on his face saying "This is not how a real teacher should act". Okay la, he didn't say it out loud, but I could surely read that in his expression.. sheesh!! I almost went out to ask him to mind his own business when dia sibuk² intai my next class that afternoon, just because my class was laughing at something.. APE! Ingat I can't make my students laugh ke?!?! Mengong..

And something else, tetibe rase nak beli DVD player after those classes haha.. so guess what, that was what I did.. almost spur of the moment but not quite la as I had been eyeing a few players though didn't really plan to buy it yet. Truth is, when I had bought the tv, I planned to buy my own DVD player but my housemate beat me to it so kadang tumpang la dia nye. But under the recent circumstances, hahah, of course la nak beli sendiri plak kan, lagi plak dia nak kuar dah so memang plan nak beli pun and voila! Spent RM220 on it (Actual price was RM245, same model at Bagan Serai was RM265.. I asked for RM220 and the shopkeeper trus agree.. adesss! Should've asked for RM200 only hahah..)

Malam tu plak had my usual class at Bagan Serai.. and just my luck! Met another teacher who not only annoys me, but also scares me! I'm not sure if I wrote about him in my blog last year, but this teacher is someone I avoid at all cost. Last year, he slapped two Indian students in my class, calling them names (Racist!!) and humiliating them in front of his own son.. who in turn was so ashamed, he ran to sit at the back and avoided looking at me.. sian anak dia, especially coz his son was also in my class and knew that those Indian boys tak buat salah pun.. Ugghh, made me grumpy the whole night!

Balik umah, tried the DVD player.. yeay! Suke!! Now I can watch my pirated DVDs (adehhh!) in peace tanpe conscious I'm using someone elses belongings. Tido lambat that night sebab tgk Pay Check on TV3, then started watching the Supernatural 3 DVD I had bought mase gi Feringghi aritu.. hehe, I find that I pay close attention to the dialogue now.. very creative la the scriptwriter!

Next morning (actually, just a few hours je of sleep pun) kak Zura asked me to have lunch at her house.. yeay! Makan sedap heheh.. Nway, couldn't sleep dah pas tu and I realized, asyik dok complain pasal 'her' mess, tp I biar je so ape lagi., tetibe rase macam touched by the spring cleaning fairy.. Cleared and 'washed' the cluttered fridge (Gile tul, once dah buang sumer bende yg tah pa pe, the fridge was nearly empty!! Tp nak membasuhnye, biase la, mulut Ayu mule membebel sorang².. 'She' just loves to spill things and tak bersihkan!!) Then cleared MY dining table haha.. Cleared the living room.. and guess what: 2 big rubbish bags full of clutter. Mak aiii, saya duk sarang tikus upenye haha.. tanpe rase bersalah, buang je her things yang expired sumer tu haha <--Ayu sangat jahat!

Sedo² dah 1pm. Cepat² sms kak Zura telling her I'd be late. Had lunch with her and got to see lil' Aqil (same je name with anak Sentot!). Then went to school, konon nak sambung paper but I just edited a few alumni-related thingeys, edited the questionnaire for Sg Sedim.. then ngantuk mule menjelma so went back home.. and sambung tgk Supernatural hahah.. Sampai ke malam plak tu :p

Next day (Monday) badan rase tak sedap, then in a matter of minues after waking, got the flu. Adeh! Leceh la plak.. stayed in bed for a couple of more hours then when I couldn't stand laying down, decided to just wake up and watch another 4 episodes of Supernatural. By then, also found the Made of Honour CD so watch jugak la.. by 5pm, felt a bit better and decided to go out and buy things for spaghetti and potato salad sebab dah lame sgt janji with Sharil and Lah. Also kept thinking of the Cadbury Chocolate Mousse Chocolate tapi rezeki ku tiade.. uwaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Okay.. sbnrnye diri sendiri pun dah boring bace entry ni so before I bore anyone to death, guess I'd better stop..

Eh chup! One more thing to add: Aci tak klau I botakkan kepala?!?! This is a serious question!!!

Why so serious?

To those who have watched the movie premiere last night.. or watched it in todays early shows la kan (ayat berlagak sebab dah gi tengok semalam hahah..), you'd know where I got the tag line above as my title :)

Yesterday after watching Hellboy, thought of treating Salimin who had just finished his viva yesterday afternoon so I had bought some tickets to the premiere. Then Fared wanted to join so I asked Aje and Fadhil to join too.. the more the merrier hehe.. After my class last night, I rushed home for Isya' prayers then we headed off to Sunway Carnival for the movie.

I was ready to fall asleep, especially when I realized the movie was for a duration of 2 and a half hours.. gile ape?!?! I didn't actually expect it to be that long (Salah sape tak tengok review?!?!).. but God! There wasn't a sleepy moment throughtout the movie.. and I loved it :)

Not telling much here since everyone keeps telling me 'NO SPOILERS' haha.. but for the rest of you, you'd better go watch it.. Bes ooo!

Bitten by the movie bug.. or rather the nak-tgk-gak-tak-kire bug haha..

Today I arrived quite early (as opposed to my datang-suke-hati arrival I seem to always do now!) at school. Noticed thta kak Ros was here already but that was about it. Seronok gak when once in a while you can choose your parking space hahah..

The plan was for me to finish my paper for this conferance in UniMas, then compose two emails (for the staff of the school and for ex-students of this school) for the Alumni purpose. I've been putting off doing the email just to spite the penyapu baru (Ayu gile ke ape?!?!) haha..

Well, anyway, I'm glad my Yahoo! is back in order. Its been such a nuisance the past few weeks when I couldn't reply ANY email from that account.. I couldn't even compose an email and I had to make use of my un-used Gmail account (which if it could express its feelings, I'm sure it felt so much loved these past few weeks hehe..)

Next on the agenda would be.. would be.. shhh.. a run to Sunway Carnival to watch Hellboy 2! Yea yeahhh, I know, EVERYONE ELSE has seen it and I'm the only one who hasn't :D Diddn't actually plan to watch it, heck, I didn't even watch the first one, but recently when they played the first one one TV, I was suprised to find myself enjoying it. It didn't help that Ana kept being th unofficial promoter of this movie hehe.. Adi, who has been following the comics, told me that to him, it was just mediocre, but he agreed with Ana that for non-followers, it was good.. and Amer, the annoying brat, has been trying to make me envy him for having watched it already.. ceh!!

Truth is, one upon a time ago, the cinema was almost my second home.. especially when I was staying with kak Shima and kak Kathy. And that's actually something considering the nearest comfortable cinema (we only had Capitol here, you know, the old fashion type of cinema.. and yes, its HAD since its now turned into a hawkers centre!) was about an hour's drive from here and going twice weekly wasn't a suprise.. but now, I not only have my hands full with my classes at night, there no one I'd actually consider going with anyway since most of them here prefer to wait for the pirated version of each movie.. *sigh*

But the past few weeks have seen me sneaking to the cinema every Wednesday around noon hahah.. Started with Sepi kot, then Wanted, then Hancock.. adeh! I'm just hoping it won't turn into a habit..

Well, for one, as we all know, Wednesday is the half-price day everywhere (what with a new movie coming every Thursday huh.. making me, of course la, among the last to watch new movies!). And another is because its the only day I'm quite free (before night la when I have my class in Bagan Serai.. the cheek of Cikgu Arun to give me a class on Wednesday when for 3 years straight I've been telling him I DON'T WANT any class on Wednesdays!)

And since this Friday would see us going to Kelantan to visit Dr Farhan's son at KCK, I'm sadly considering the possibility of me watching Batman, The Dark Knight next week on Wednesday.. and NOT this week! (Ye la, Saturday full with classes at Parit Buntar and Bagan Serai and Sunday is my unofficial working day..)

This summer takde la nampak macam banyak citer bes pun. Okay la, there's the Star War's movie(animation la tapi.. the Clone Wars), The Mummy 3, James Bond.. erkkk, tu je ke ek? Hahaha.. heard that Wall-E macam bes, tapi tatau la.. Adeh, hati dah tak rase nak buat keje ni, mate asyik pandang jam.. its 9.25am now and I'm planning on ngulor around 11.oopm as the movie starts at 12.00pm. Two-hour long so I'll be back here before 3pm.. I hope!

Alamak! Gotta dash.. ade claims yang tak siap lagi.. chiao! :)

Can't Smile Without You

Hmm.. arini perasaan cam tak bes.

Yesterday takde ati nak balik umah. Then around 6pm, kak Shima called bgtau kak Zai masuk hospital. After talking awhile, kak Shima ajak berbuke ngan dia as we talked about the Secret Recipe promo. Tak balik umah pun amik baju sbb malas nak ngadap so trus je to kak Shima's place.. tido pun kat sane, pinjam kaftan dia utk tido but bought toothbrushes (ade offer, so beli 2) from Guardian. Facial wash pinjam kak Shima sbb dia pun dah tersangkut ngan Clinique gak heheh..

Nway, arrived back home around 8am tadi. Kuar awal je dari umah kak Shima but went to get some breakfast from McDs.. Tgh tunggu order baru terperasan KFC and remembered Adi kate nasik lemak KFC sedap. Aloo, rugi la plak dah order..

Oppp, lari topik plak.. Arrived back home around 8am. Uik! Magic!! Meja makan ku sudah kosong as opposed to penuh ngan brg dia. Erkk, then terperasan dia susun brg dia atas lantai tepi dinding.. Oooo-kaaaayyy! Hati dah rase bersalah..

Then realized even her plates pun dah dibalut ngan paper, in preparation to move. Uhhh, semakin rase bersalah sbb semalam in the note reminded her brg dlm umah tu is mine. Mule dah tak sedap hati.. and she herself, dengar I balik, trus masuk bilik.. adeh!

Huhu, mmg la I was annoyed, asal balik je dia hogging the TV and washing machine. Atau dok gune dapur tanpa bersihkan pas tu la ape la.. tp bile dia masuk bilik, terase bersalah gak.. adeh! Ayu sungguh teruk!!!

Bersiap la ke school sambil hati rase tak sedap and bersalah (especially bile tgk dia dah susun brg dia skit tepi pintu kuar umah.. adeh lagi!). Sampai school, deputy dean baru panggil untuk agihan tugas for PPKA Alumni. Then tingat, my file for the alumni tertinggal kat umah so patah balik. Kali ni tgk dah bertambah bende kat tepi pintu, and rasenye dia dgr je bunyi kete, trus dia masuk bilik kot.. adeh lagi dan lagi!

So hati dah tak sedap.. then around 11 went to kak Sue's house for kenduri arwah with Irnis, Remy and Fared. We wanted to go for the tahlil and Yasin but we arrived a bit late, dah abis dah pun hahaha.. macam pegi untuk makan je plak.

Then around that time, the other-thing-bothering-me 'muncul' and jadik sedikit tension.. :(

Sampai school, sat at my cube, trying to think. Then noticed Ana nye status and reminded me of a song. Actually, Ana was listening to the song but I initially thought it was something intended for Adi :D Hehe, sowi Ana.. then I told her it reminded me of an old song and she told me that song was actually the reason for the status. She heard it in Hellboy2 so today she was listening to the song repeatedly..

Yeay! Mood Ayu trus baik.. especially when Ana sent the song to me hehe..

So now Ayu dah jangkit ngan Ana, pasang byk kali heheh..

Barry Manilow - Can't Smile Without You

You know I can't smile without you

I can't smile without you

I can't laugh and I can't sing

I'm finding it hard to do anything

You see I feel sad when you're sad

I feel glad when you're glad

If you only knew what I'm going through

I just can't smile without you

You came along just like a song

And brighten my day

Who would of believed that you where part of a dream

Now it all seems light years away

And now you know I can't smile without you

I can't smile without you

I can't laugh and I can't sing

I'm finding it hard to do anything

You see I feel sad when your sad

I feel glad when you're glad

If you only knew what I'm going through

I just can't smile

Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find

Well, I'm finding it hard leaving your love behind me

And you see I can't smile without you

I can't smile without you

I can't laugh and I can't sing

I'm finding it hard to do anything

You see I feel glad when you're glad

I feel sad when you're sad

If you only knew what I'm going through

I just can't smile without you

Camne nak bg puas?

Ughhh.. hari ni Ayu berpuasa, tp pagi² lagi dah rase nak marah..

2 or 3 days ago, I woke up for sahur. I wanted to make some grilled cheese sandwich (Adeh! Trus je perut bunyi..) so I heated up my trustworthy wok while I went to get the bread, shallots and cheese. When I went back to the stove, I noticed the flame looked different. When I peered closely, it turned out SHE HAD BROKEN MY STOVE TOO!!!

Mak aaiiiiiiiiiii.. Incredible Hulk muncul lagi! Trus je perasan bau gas and I really wanted to strangle her. Camne la bleh bg mende tu patah.. no wonder she's suddenly cooking on 'my side' of the stove and memandai je ubah my pan to 'her side'.. Ya Allah! Sabarkan lah hati hambaMu ini.. Masak ke buat ape pun Ayu tatau..

So this morning, woke up and found out dia sahur gak. I guess I should've ignored her tp dalam hati sikit kecewe. After the 'incident' sikit pun dia tak mintak maaf.. even when I smsed with capital letters to show I was mad, dia bleh reply with a laugh. Abg Fadhil kate, my fault is I'm hoping she'd apologize. Tp seriously, takde rase bersalah ke dalam hati.. paling tak pun, takde rase malu ke?

So pagi tadi, realizing yang dah berhari dah I marah, I thought I'd write a note and tinggalkan atas meja for her. Yea yeahhhh, Ayu not only tak leh face dia sebab marah, tp jugak sebab Ayu pengecut, tak tau camne nak terangkan perasaan marah dengan tenangnye bile face to face. Takut kang I say/do things I regret jugak..

I guess a bit harsh jugak la. I reminded her that I don't even ask half of the rent from her.. and bills semua tu I yang bayar. Ikutkan hati nak je ungkit pasal gas la, dapur la, sink tap yg dia patahkan tp sampai skrg tak ngaku (C'mon la, kami 2 org je duk dlm umah tu and it wasn't me!), pasal conquer MY fridge and tv and washing machine (Sib baik tak jadik beli washing machine baru aritu tau!) and semua tu.. tp biarla.. I just told her, "Berpade² lah.."

Then when I went outta my room, tgk note tu dah takde (dia pun dah kuar). Tatau la masuk ke tak dalam kepale dia tu.. harapnye masuk la. I'd hate the last few weeks dia kat umah ni with us being hostile (Okay, Ayu sedang being hostile pun.. but can't you just apologize?! Klau orang lain kene, rasenye dia dah kene halau dari rumah dah.. serious! Pengotor sgt camtu, sape tahan! Oooo yuck, now my tummy mule rase nauseous balik!!)

Okay².. dah kurang pahale puase hahahaha..

Btw, sape dpt promo Secret Recipe tu, pegi lahh.. cheap ah.. 1 chicken chop meal (3 choices) with Iced Lemon Tea and klau campur taxes, you only pay RM11.50..

*Tolong la org Secret Recipe menyedari betape Ayu mempromo kan diorg hahah..*

1st time tagged by Ayeen..

Uhhh.. rasenye la, tak penah kene tag ngan Ayeen. So sbb kan itu, rase obliged to Ayeen (haha.. adekah ini cubaan untuk bg Ayeen rase bersalah hehehe..:p) But seriously Ayeen, though I like tags, I'm stumped with this one. Tak tau nak isi ape, but I'll try my best, ok :)

My Foundation
Hahah.. adeh! I don't wear foundation la, Ayeen.. camne nak jawab ni?! Can I say I wear some baby powder?

My Mascara
Uhhh.. lagi la tak pakai! Pengalaman penah tercucuk mase kecik, by cikgu apentah mase dia makeup kan everyone coz kitorg masuk tarian untuk persembahan akhir tahun, masih terbayang². Besides, tidakkah terase leceh?! And yeah, like you Ayeen, I sometimes wear glasses too.. :)

My Day Cream
Erkk.. stumped jugak! Dulu time sekolah pakai Olay (mase tu Olay tak byk bende merepek² cam skrg.. ade Olay Moisturizing Lotion and Olay Moisturizing Cream saje!). Then tukar to Clean and Clear or something like that just because orang kate Ayu cam org tua pakai Olay haha.. pastu bile kulit immune (i.e. berminyak balik), tukar to other products.. then pakai baby lotion jek sebab muke still berminyak je pun. Then abis degree, kak Wahid introduced me to Clinique that actually improved my skin very, very much :) But now, Clinique nye moisturizer tu dah menjadikan kulitku imune and after 6 years of using it, my skin dah start minyak² balik when wearing it.. so guess what I'm wearing now? Good ol' Olay balik hahahah..

My essential Beauty products
Aiyak.. jugek konpius nak menjawab! Hmm.. still loyal to Clinique's cleanser and toner because it suits me the best. Moisturizer as disebut di atas. Bile rajin, malam pakai Clinique Total Turnaround.. and bile rajin means sgt jarang heheh.. Once in 2-3 days, I use the simple St Ives Apricot Scrub. Twice a week, macam² mask dicuba sambil nengok tv :). Compact powder (pakai pagi je, pastu tak heran dah klau ilang haha..) and lipgloss (pun pakai pagi je.. takdenye nak touch-up².. except klau meeting and want people who don't know me to take me seriously! <-- Ade ke camtu?) And yeah, skrg rajin minum Plum Essence.. my skin texture has gotten better, though I'm not sure if its because of this!

My Favorite MakeUp Products
Like I said, I don't wear them..

My Perfume
I've been using Avon's Celebre eversince I was 18. Sampai my junior, in another school tuuuu, penah tegur, "Kak Ayu ni bau mcm dulu jugak!" Hahah.. Tp skrg dok main² ngan Body Shop sbb murah and byk choice heheh..

My Nails, My Feet
Tiade product khusus.. just lotion every morning after bathing! And nails tgh aim gune this product Irnis introduced to me.. sgt bes! Dah byk kali try :)

My Hands
Same as above on both lotion at that product Irnis introduced to me!

Three things to bring on a deserted island
1. Bottled water
2. Bottled water
3. Bottled water.. and a book won't hurt <--takde kene ngene ngan tag!

Women I admire for their beauty (tak leh nak pk la skrg!)
Pitot <--serius budak ni kulit lawooo.. dia pun sgt cantik!

Women with best sense of stlye
Okay.. klau nak kelentong pun takde idea nii.. tp kak Ina, my friend sgt pandai bergaya!

My Ultimate Dream
Wow! Ape ye.. a white picket fence garden lalala.. hahah.. ntahnye!

How Do I define Womanhood
Can I answer later? Sendiri pun tak rase cam woman lagi huhu..

My Favorite Fashion Publication
Erkkk.. do I sound like an old woman if I admit I don't read those magazines?

Alaaaa Ayeen.. NOW I feel like an old woman!!!!

Of late..

Of late ni, I've been getting a bit tense.. hmm, come to think of it, mase bilenye ye Ayu tak tense hahaha.. (I know the answer to that though, but not sharing hahah..!)

First and foremost, the gossip I heard dah jadik true. Dr Farhan will not be in this school for at least the next two years. He's replacing Prof Raden at the Malaysian Institute of Road Safety Research (MIROS) as the director. Uhhhh, penat diriku tanye berkali-kali with him reassuring me he's not going anywhere, turned out memang betul. Adeh.. camne ni? Even with him around Ayu sangat malas, what would happen to me when he's not around.. worse still, what would happen to my PhD?!?! Uwaaaaaaaaaaa..

Now I'm trying to finish up some papers for a couple of conferances and journals, to send to him before he officially starts there on the 1st of August. Tapi terase diri sangat kehilangan.. He's been the best mentor I've ever had. Alway been around eversince my undergraduate years and you could count on him to make time for you even when he's busy. I had always left his office feeling motivated and as if I can take the world if I wanted to (exagerrating as usual!).

Next one is this new teacher at my tuition centre. A few weeks ago, I noticed this new teacher teaching kak Ina's class when she couldn't come. At first, I ignored him.. until I noticed that he kept glancing at my class. By then, I was annoyed. You see, some 'real' teachers actually dislike us non-teachers who teach there. They are always criticizing the way we teach and all that, reminding us we are not trained teachers. I felt that he was judging the way I was teaching, disapprovingly! It didn't help that the next day I met him again at our other branch when I was replacing another teacher for the day.. and yes! One again he was watching my class as if I'm such a bad teacher (Okay la, I'm not a good one la.. but cut me some slack la.. at least my students like me!)

2 weeks later, I couldn't come to class as I had the Sg Sedim project. Turned out, he replaced me. Tak kisah la kan, especially when my students told me they didn't actually like the way he taught (Yeayyy!! Hahah..) I even had to re-teach my students.. and dalam hati of course la mengata cikgu tu (yeahh, he's a 'real' teacher!). Judge orang sangat tapi dia sendiri cam ampeh..

Then yesterday, once again dia ganti kelas kak Ina. Problem is, for the whole 4-and-a-half hours, my class is just opposite his. And boleh tak, he went out of his class and OBSERVED ME TEACHING! Bengong! Ingat saya tak reti sangat ke nak ngaja? I ignored him la of course, tp dalam hati, sakit oooo..

For my next class, I had given my students a promised test and while they answered in front, I was doing the answers too in the back. Then this teacher masuk my class and sangat menyampah when my females students trus bisik² tengok² dia tu. Tau la cikgu laki kat situ banyak nye dah tua, but doesn't mean bile ade yang mude je, bes! Dah la tak ensem pun.. and boleh tak cikgu tu ask kuat², "Cikgu korang takde ke?" Padehal I was sittting right beside him (Okay la, I was wearing a t-shirt, but it still doesn't make me look like a student.. saje sarcastic la tuu..!)

Bile I angkat muke, he grinned at me and said, "Cikgu ni, tak nampak ke student cikgu dok kacau² saya ni?!?!" Mak aiiiiiiiii.. gile ape dia ni, ingat ensem ke ape ke? Setakat budak sekolah, form 1 je pun tu, bisik² tengok dia pun, dia dah seronok ke? Ceh.. ignore him!

Tp tambah nyampahkan diriku ini when I went to send my register to the clerks, I found them giggling and flirting with him. Ya Allah, korang takde keje lain ke? Nape tak marah je cikgu tu suh dia masuk balik kelas dia?!?!

Tolong la jangan bg me jumpe dia lagi.. dah la last week he had the cheeks to call me 'adik'! Woiiiiiiiiii.. seriously! Tak yah la nak degrade me by making me feel inferior.. seriously pissed!

Third one plak paling mengong. Its something I had never shared in my blog ni, but kali ni dah melampaui batas! My bathroom takde lampu tau, and yours truly sangat malas gi beli lampu. Sometimes I go to the supermarket but totally forget about buying the lampu so as a result, bile malam je, klau rajin pasang lilin, klau tak, mandi la dalam gelap..

Then one night, after I took my bath, I watched some tv while eating heheh... sgt tak senonoh ye makan depan tv :D Nway, I wanted to wash my hands and some sauce that had spilled on the front of my night gown so I went in the bathroom and used the water from the kolah. As I was cleaning myself up, I noticed something floating IN THE KOLAH. Thinking it was just a reflection of the light outside (tgh malas pasang lilin mase ni!), I tried to grab the 'thing' and Tuhan je yang tau macammane marahnye saya mase tu. Turned out it was a used p***y l****r. Terase diri bertukar menjadi Incredible Hulk seketika, especially bile teringat I WAS WASHING MY HAIR EARLIER FROM THE SAME KOLAH!

Ya Allah, this is the last straw. Trus je message the ONLY ONE I know who is responsible (she wasn't at home mase tu, thank God.. klau tak mau je I campak bende tu kat muke dia!!!) and boleh tak dia reply kate, jgn la risau, baru lagi kot bende tu terendam dalam kolah tu!!! Bangang nak mampus!!! Pengotor giler.. Ya Allah!!! Sakitnye hati, Tuhan je yang tau.. now I can't even face her!

I mean, byk dah sabar tau! Dgon aritu dah marah me sebab katenye I bg muke sgt. Bukan ape, My house rent is RM350, I only ask RM150 from her (there's only the two of us!). Then the bills semua I bayar. Tu pun tak boleh count her blessings ke? Tp dishwashing liquid pun tak leh nak beli sekali sekale.. bende lain tak yah kate la. Kitchen towels tu sumer my money tp dia yg perabiskan. Then bile gas tadek, bukannye sekali sekale nak volunteer beli, always wait for me to do it.. padehal, dia yg selalu dok masak, not me! Dah la masak tak lap balik dapur semua tu. Always leaving a mess sumer tu..

Once, she tumpahkan bende RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, tp dia wat tatau.. last² amah ni laaaa yang tolong bersihkan.. sambil menyumpah dalam hati laaaa! Dia ingt dia bayo RM150 tu untuk bibik ke ape ke ntah? Water pipe selalu tak tutup, sampai melimpah².. pasang semua lampu dalam umah tu la, pasang tv tp tak tgk la.. even conquering MY FRIDGE (mule la berkire ni!) Ade ke aritu kuarkan MY THINGS sbb nak masukkan bende² dia.. and to be truthful, my things tak byk mane pun.. orang malas masak kaaaannn! Barang dia jugak yg byk.. sampai empty jam bottle pun nak simpan dlm fridge, apehal?!?!

Then basuh baju tak perah, abis basah lantai. I dah brape byk kali dah nak terjatuh terpijak air sabun dia. Then when she use the washing machine, selalu biar baju dia lame dalam tu. I nak gune gak la, mengong. I always make sure pas basuh je trus sidai, just in case dia nak gune.. but her, kadang tu sampai esok tu pun dia tak kuarkan baju dia. Ikut hati, nak je suh dia basuh tgn je baju dia (Hey, the washing machine is mine too!!!), tp kang lagi la dia tak perah, mau Ayu accident tiap hari!

Then iron and ironing board tu I bg la dia gune. And I bought this clothes rack since the ironing thingeys dalam guest room pun. I told her, tu untuk guests gune but klau dia iron baju and nak tumpang gantung jap, takpe la.. know what she did? Amik nearly her WHOLE CLOSET and gantung semua baju dia kat situ. Ayu nganga tatau nak kate ape.. and bile guests dtg (usually Dgon, Yun, Izati je la punn..) diorg takde tmpt sidai towel ke baju ke.. just because MY RACK I BOUGHT WITH MY OWN MONEY PENUH NGAN BAJU DIA!

I give up!!!

Last month, she gave me good news. Dapat keje tmpt lain so this is the last month she's be staying here. Rase nak sujud syukur!! But after the p***t l***r incident, I feel as if mase tak cukup cepat berlalu.. and she's be hogging on the TV dari haritu lagi. Mak aiiiii.. oiiittt, nak je sebut, THAT'S MY TV! AND MY BILLS! Giler ke, and I plak yang tak bleh nak tengok TV sbb asyik dia je. Dari pagi sampaaaaaaaaaaii ke malam.. argggghhhhhhh!!! I dunno if I could take it anymore!!!

Cepat la mase berlalu.. tolong laaaaa cepat!