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Sunday, May 14, 2006

Where have all the years gone?

14 May 2006 00.25am

Another entry, in exactly 24 hours..

Mama sent me a message just now, informing me that Izati had been offered a place in UIAM. I shouted out the news to Yun who was watching tv in the living area and was as excited as can be. However, as I replied Mama's message, a big question loomed in my head..

Where have all the years gone to?

My baby sister is old enough to be on her own now!

Gosh! I just can't believe it.. I still remember the time she was born not 17 years ago. I had lived my first 9 and a half years on earth being the only girl in the clan. My ally and enemy were my three brothers, Iwan, Adi and Ikram and though I loved to boss them (but hated being bullied by them!), I yearned for a sister to play with. I kept persuading Mama and Abah to give me a sister but they just laughed so I had to make due with the three monsters.

When I was in standard 3, Mama announced that I was to have a a new sibling. Masa tu la pun rajin beno semayang.. nak adik perempuan la katakan hahaha.. and on the 10th of July 1989, my sister Nurikhsan Izati was born.

I hovered over her, took care of her, made sure not even a mosquito could fly around her until I became quite a bore to the boys. But who could blame me, this was the long awaited sister I always wanted :-)

At home, I was in charge of her, and happy for it. I made her milk, changed her diapers, bathed her, chose what she would wear for the day before carefully puttting the clothes on her, played with her and all things an excited big sister would do. When she was older, I taught her to read and write and count.. and for a while, my love for books was passed down on her (though now she prefers lovey dovey books la pulaaaaak)..

When she was in standard 3 and had just passed her PTS, I asked what she wanted and she told me she wanted her ears pierced. Hahaha.. kakak dia punye telinge pun tak bertindik, in fact, I must have cringed more than she did when I finally fulfilled my promise to her. After that, whenever I saw any cute earrings, I'd buy them for her.. maybe to 'compensate' my own earringless ears :-D

My relationship with her wasn't all sunshine. There were times I'd merajuk with her and stubbornly pretend to not notice her trying to make it up to me. Sometimes, it wasn't even her fault, more like the sensitive me feeling hurt when people compare me to her.. and people tend to do that A LOT! Once, I found her crying and when I asked her why (though I was still trying to pretend to be mad at her!), I melted when she said,"Sebab kak Yong kakak Ti.." After that, I vowed NEVER to be mad at her again..

However, sometimes she WOULD find the joy in irritating me. Whenever Mama bought the both of us anything (like telekung or kain untuk baju kurung ke..) and asked us to chose, she'd wait until I chose THEN make a fuss of wanting what I wanted in the first place. Once or twice, I just kept quiet, but when I noticed it was ALwAYS happening, I told her to choose first. Would you believe it, she refused, on grounds that she didn't want me to do the same thing to her.. ahaaah! Finally, she admitted on puposely doing it so when I asked her about it, she just laughed saying,"Kakak kan sentiase kene mengalah!".. ampeh nyer adik! Haha..

I've always felt the 9-year gap between us when I was younger, but these past two years have made me no longer notice the gap. I love our late night talks whenever I come back home and I love teasing her by calling her phone whenever she starts to doze off. I love hearing her tell me about her friends and her daily activities. I'm glad whenever she comes to me for advice, eventhough kakak dia ni laaaaagi ampeh je pun..

Once, when Farood was taping me and kak Ana, with my voice scolding him for disturbing us, he decided to show us what he had taped. To my suprise, I heard Izati's laugh, voice and manner of speaking in the video. I didn't really notice that we talked the same way but when I called Mama from Izati's phone one day and pretended to be Izati, Mama fell for it hahah..

Well, we ARE sisters, aren't we?

But now, I can't believe my sister will be away one day. I had always thought that THAT day would come much more later. I always thought that she'd always be my baby sister. I always thought that I'll always be there to protect her, just like the time when she was small. I always thought that she'd be home whenever I decide to go back..

Ok, now I really wanna cry :'(

God, she isn't even gone yet, but I'm already missing her..

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