I'll be fine!

I'll be fine..

I'll be fine..

I'll be fine!

Yesterday was a good day for me. I didn't feel like crying and I was enjoying my noisy class that night (as opposed to asyik nak kene jerit je hehe..). I was even feeling very calm before I went to sleep though just that morning I was nearly into tears when Yati called to ask how I was doing. Seems like my nearly-long-lost friends have heard of the news.. but I'm glad to have 'em all. Last Friday, I might've complained when people said, "Sabar la, Ayu ye!" but right now, I don't mind anymore, in fact, I'm glad to realize that so many people care :-)

Even this morning, instead of waking up to the question of, "Why?!?", I was sudenly worrying about my 'budak kecik' brother who seems to be a bit tense these past few days. Jenuh korek tapi dia senyap je.. cume bleh try teke skit² je la.. Tu pun, dia iye kan pun tak, tidak kan pun tak.. Alahai, cukup le akak sorang je sedih.. there's not enough sadness to pass around here heheh.. It was after getting ready that I was finally hit with the realization that the 'why' question did not automatically pop into my head this morning..

Arriving at school, I had put the title of this blog as my status at YM before going out to breakfast. Then, during breakfast, I received an sms from an unknown number saying, "Morning Ayu.. Hope ur gonna be as fine as u stated there.. have a nice day ya! :-)" Turned out it was Cik Wa's new number. Terharu lak pagi² ni, cik Wa.. but thanx! Miss you.. muaahhhhhssss!

Then, after breakfast, I came back to my cube greeted with an IM (NOT Invisible Man --> I'm hating THAT!) from Ina asking how I was.. Ya Allah, tetibe rase nak nangis! Ina, I wish you were here. Suddenly I just wanted to make sure that no one's abandoned me. Then Mak Su also asked about me and once again I just wanted my friends here.

A little while later, got another IM (aarrggghhh.. I hate that pun) from kak Shima.. a shove-it-in-you-face type of Instant Message (I hate the initials of it!) as a reply to my status, "yup sure u'll be fine... just let him go...... remember he easily let u go before.... be fair to yourself". The arrival of Ramadhan in the room was the only reason I didn't break down, tapi dalam hati, Tuhan je yang tahu.

But then, I laugh when I realize how much attention I've been giving to my Yahoo! 360 blog. If before this, I only used it as a backup for entries in THIS blog, nowadays, I update nearly everyday. The same goes for my hidden blog (its HIDDEN la, so I won't give out the address anyway, sape yang tahu tu je yang tahu..). These kinda situations bring out the 'writer' in me hahah..

Current emotion situation: Roller coaster type
Current feelings: None
Current anger level: Nope, can't seem to find it YET.. but it will come haha.. I know it will!
Current question in head: Why?
Current mantra: I'll be fine.. I'll be fine.. I'll be fine..