I'm in a bit of a dilemma right now..
At end of next month, our school is organizing this conferance, a continuity of the first conferance I had ever presented a paper in 2004. This year its called Awam 2007..
However, the differance is the venue of the conferance. When I had participated, it was just in Batu Feringghi, Penang.. this year, its in Langkawi!!!
THATS the problem!!
Now, believe it or not.. even if I've been a Penangite for almost all my life, I've never set foot in Langkawi. My friends don't believe me when I say this, but its true. When my family went there, I was in form 1 and staying in the hostel, thus, was left behind.. much to my disappointment!
Throughout the years, it always seemed that whenever I wanted to join a trip to Langkawi, something would come up.. eversince my school day, and matriks when I had actually wanted to give my name before something about the bulletin came up, forcing me to stay back in the college. During my studies, plans were made but never finalized. The ones finalized were always at an unappropriate time for me..
Then, well.. this is something not many people know. Lets just say that though I've never been there, Langkawi holds a special and dear place in my heart.. but I'm not gonna explain. Guess, only those few who know would understand what I'm talking about..
Anyway, when I heard that our school was going there, I had some mixed feelings. I really wanted to go, yet this dear place that I've never visited was something I thought I'd 'keep' (don't ask!)
But then, I realized, I had let go of this big part of my life last year.. and I have to admit, Langkawi DOES have a part in this thing I had let go. Part of me said, it was better to still 'keep' it even if it was for someone else.. yet another part of me said "go for it and enjoy it.. you've let go of a huge chunk, maybe you should start thinking of 'keeping' another place now"
Hahah.. fought with my feelings for a while, but in the end, I guess the second part of me won :)
However, a few more problems loom ahead..
First, I'm NOT presenting any papers so I'd be quite bored during the conferance as I'd be only looking forward to 'jalan²' hehe..
Second, I still have to go as a participant, thus RM350 should be paid.. hmm, quite cheap maybe but still.. I'd still need money for shopping (chocolates.. yummy!) and the camera I just bought has burnt quite a hole in my pockets (Dgon nye pasal le ni heheh.. should've bought a new phone instead kot) and I'm not actually sprouting money from my ears here.. :(
BUT, imagine the joy of going with my friends here :) :) :)
Should I go, or should I not go? Kak Shima has already told me to go for the cable car ride at RM15 per person.. ok la kot, thought it would've cost more than that! She also told me she wanted chocolates but I haven't actually made up my mind yet :D
But I really wanna go.. but I'm not sure my expenses agree with the trip.. and I'm not sure if I really wanna let go of this special place and not 'keep' it.. but I'm confident it would be super fun, especially with my friends here.. and at least, as Dgon said, the camera won't be bought in vain hahah.. but Dgon herself isn't going, killing half the fun of being there (okay la, maybe not half, but still a small percentage of it..)
Still, right now, I really wanna go there..
Aaaarrrgghhh.. whatodo?
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