Sunday, April 29, 2007
"Let me sleep, for when I sleep I dream that you are here.. you're mine.. and all my fears are left behind.." Familiar? Ahaaa.. I had written that here, in this very blog a couple of days ago. The irony is, I wanna write about another 'plus' about sleeping.. Hmm.. On Thursday night, I couldn't sleep a wink. Dunno why.. I kept tossing and turning, without the slightest feeling of sinking in the deep realms of sleep. Mind you, I WAS sleepy.. but for the life of me, I just couldn't sleep. I was a bit worried though as I had to go to Butterworth the next day (Friday) and I didn't actually wanna 'slepp on the job', did I? What I hate about staying awake is that, the mind usually starts to wonder into dangerous territories. Into the forbidden forest of my thoughts which I'd rather keep locked up, fenced with great walls that forbids any thought going in or out.. So believe me, it was super exhausting not being able to sleep.. The next night, I had opted to stay at home instead of spend my time in school, as I had made the almost-fatal (haha..) mistake of taking some sambal belachan. I was sneezing like crazy, and kinda tired of it after the first half hour.. Because of the contant sneezing, I had trouble sleeping again.. and once again, my mind wandered.. However, the next morning (yesterday), after Subuh prayers, I finally found myself into a deep sleep. I intentionally didn't set the alarm, confident the latest I'd wake up would be at 10am. Then, waking up feeling really refreshed, I chuckled to myself about how 'brave' I was to not set the alarm coz I might just wake up at 1pm.. which I actually did, when I checked my watch.. Sheeesshh!!! Luckily, my classes only started at 2.45pm.. Then, I dunno.. maybe because my mind had been working extra hard. Half of it wanting to venture into the dangerous territories, while the other half trying its best to stop the adventurous part.. or maybe because I just got to know about something I still haven't got used to yet.. I.. became.. depressed! Yup, no surprises there, huh? But thats why I welcomed sleep last night. I couldn't sleep at first, and was content on watching Sinbad, which though ended happily, made me feel miserable.. :( I managed to force myself to sleep after a few chapters of the Order of The Phoenix and woke up for Subuh prayers at 6.30am before continuing my sleep.. dreamless sleep which was actually quite comforting.. AND, considering I've been sleeping on the settee for the past few days, its quite something to say since everyone knows, sleeping on couch only feels good when there's something on the tv.. for a prolonged sleep, it isn't THAT comfy. But not quite like yesterday, I kept waking up at half-hour intervals, which I'd just check the clock then force myself back to sleep. However, I must be sleeping quite peacefully as when I finally persuaded myself to wake up around 1pm, I noticed Elie had just come back home, when I didn't realize she had gone out anyway.. After taking a long shower, trying to shake away the tiredness, then praying and taking my lunch which consist frozen food (was too lazy to go out..), I watched a bit of tv while trying to read a new Tony Parson's book I just bought on Friday.. and to my annoyance, though I was concentrating on reading, once again my mind wandered.. Which, as you might guess, forced me to sleep it off.. though I had just wanted a quick nap to block it.. but it turned into another long sleep and I only woke at 5.41pm.. However, not wanting to ruin my already damaged sleep pattern, I forced myself to pray and go outta the house, just in case I wanted to sleep again.. So here I am, in school.. something I should've done this morning to avoid over-sleeping too much today.. and perhaps I could do something more profitable than tossing and turning on the settee which I'm sure has my body imprints on it by now.. But yeah, dreams not only bring us closer to things we really want, which in life seems so impossible and outta reach.. ..it could help stop our mind from wandering farther from the 'KEEP OUT' sign! ..it could help block the thoughts we don't really wanna dwell on right now! Eventhough in truth, we keep thinking about it.. ..it could plug the train of thoughts that actually hurt though we pretend we're ok! ..it could prevent certain questions-with-no-answers from swimming in and outta our thoughts! ..and gives you a big headache afterwards, you just can't think of anything else than your headache! Hmm.. no wonder me and my sleep are being rather bestfriends nowadays..