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Saturday, November 05, 2005


Yes, I'm pissed off!

Yes, I'm mad!

Yes, I feel like screaming bloody hell!

Yes, I wanna shake some sense into someone!

and Yes, I want my name cleared and the truth to be declared once and forever!

Heheh.. kire power la orang ni, sampai keluaq 'aku' from me! Baizurah mesti gelak guling² tengok perkataan aku kat atas tu.. toi dak, Sentot?

But seriously..

I was minding my own business on the second day of raya when I received a message from one of the RAs here. Thinking it was another 'Selamat Hari Raya' sms, I just took my phone to read the message. The smile faded from my face when I read the first sentance.

Apparantly, I have been 'dalam pemerhatian' of his wife. It appears that I'm not like my other colleagues who respects her as the wife of this RA. Ok, for the record, my other females colleagues are either RAs or ROs for programming or ROs for finance. So, I want to make it clear that sometimes I call the RAs but specifically about work which by the way, is Dr Wan's order! I have never saje gatai telefon depa untuk bersembang kosong sahaja.. tak dak kerja la nak buat macam tu, saya ni nak jaga jugak maruah diri saya sendiri la!

If thats not enough, she had to add salt to the wound by telling me that she also works with guys, 'tapi takde la sampai macam awak tu.. orang bijak macam awak ni, pasti lebih faham etika kerja profesional'! For God's sake, saya ni gatal miang sangat ke? I don't think so! Saya sangat menjaga pergaulan dengan rakan sekerja berlainan jantina. I mean, maksud dia, saya ni teruk sangat ke, tak macam orang lain? As far as I'm concerned, I always make sure that I know their wives and acknowledge them whenever we meet BECAUSE I RESPECT MY COLLEAGUES AND THEIR SPOUSES!

And 'dah bertahun dah saya bersabar ni'.. Ya Allah! Apa dia yang saya dah buat bertahun ni? Allah maha mengetahui.. Dia tahu apa saya buat dan apa niat saya. I mean, BERTAHUN??? Jahatnye la saya ni buat perangai sampai bertahun.. :'(

Tak payah la nak merendahkan saya ke tahap perempuan murahan. Saya belajar agama. Mungkin tak sempurna.. silap, memang la tak sempurna, tapi knowledge yang sikit ni saya jaga. I felt soooooooooo low but seriously, tuduhan tak berasas tu!

And, you had the guts to ask me to keep this quiet! I mean, tak mau bagi peluang saya bela diri ka? Kang kalau bela diri kang, panjang cerita.. but if I don't say anything, its as if I'm agreeing with her! Serba salah giler.. masuk keje nanti, mesti tak tau nak act cammana ngan RA ni..

In a way, lawak pun ade.. I mean, when you think about it, it could somehow bring out a hysterical laughter outta me.. but on the other hand, this is way downgrading! I'm NOT a slut, okay! Just because I'm single, it doesn't mean I'm desperate enough to go kejar laki orang.. duh! Tolong la logic sikit.. and please don't throw my pride on the muddy floor and stamp on it *ouch* It really hurts! :'(

My conclusion: I'm this desperado who'd do anything to get a guy, tak kisah la laki orang ke ape ke.. I'm also this very gatal girl who knows professional work ettique but doesn't bother to practice it. I'm this tak sedar diri person who somehow deserves to be treated badly since I don't respect people and a peruntuh rumahtangga orang. AND, I've been doing this for years.. and yeah, I don't deserve a chance to defend myself since I'm such a slut. Not even allowed to defend myself to those people involved (i.e. her husband) but must always accept the accusions thrown right in my face.

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