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Friday, May 18, 2007

Rainbow after the storm..

These past few days have been quite.. I dunno.. not exactly rough, but not exactly 'ok' for me. It started on Tuesday afternoon I guess.. no wait! Monday.. yes, it started on Monday..

I dunno, maybe its just me, or maybe.. well, like I said, I don't know..

I felt a bit dumb on Monday.. I guess sometimes, we don't really want to find out that people think we're not that important enough for them to correct. I mean, I really did feel dumb, especially after knowing I wasn't corrected. I mean, its not really that hard to just send a 5 cent sms to tell me (or even laugh at me, saying:) that I'm mistaken. I'd understand the no credit situation or the busy situation.. but not the I-woke-up-late-and-read-your-sms-but-didn't-feel-bothered-to-correct-you-so-I-just-ignored-it. I mean.. well, I still feel dumb.. :( And a bit hurt really..

Then, going through my other blog, I came across this entry which actually made me feel a bit sad remembering some things. You can read the entry here, though not just anyone of you could read it. Only people on my Yahoo! 360 list could read it and you have to sign in first (haha.. thats why I put the link here, just to irritate those who can't read it heheheh :p)

Then on Tuesday, I had thought of asking why. Yeah, now I find myself wanting to question everything, instead of keeping it inside me like I've always done before. I dunno why.. guess, recent and not-so-recent things that have happened has shaped this trait in me now. Still, something came up and I decided to wait for a better time..

Then, around noon, a bomb dropped.. and I was left feeling as if.. I dunno.. surprised I guess.. and a bit sad too.. so many things have changed, I don't understand why I can't get used to it yet.. I don't really wanna be sad about this, in fact, I should be happy and celebrate it, huh? But then..

Hahah.. I'm not making any sense here, am I?

Anyway, lets just say, I felt a bit upset and went home.. thinking and wondering. Feeling like, I dunno.. like s***, I guess.. and the feeling continued till Wednesday and yesterday. Even my students commented on why I didn't seem to be myself haha.. God! They notice everything, don't they?

Till yesterday, I didn't feel like going to school anyway. It was better waking and falling asleep till noon, and waking up with a great big headache so I won't have to think haha.. stupid huh?

However, yesterday afternoon, I had left my teaching aids at the school so I decided to drop by the school on the way to class. As I was heading to my class after picking up the supplies, I was driving absent-mindedly towards the main gate of USM. Suddenly, I noticed this huge rainbow, right in front of me and as clear as if it was in the campus itself..

For a while, I smiled at the wonder of God's creation made merely from drops of water and a little sunshine.. and I forgot about feeling down! :)

The rainbow was so huge that even when I had driven more than 5 kilometres from the campus, I could still see it clearly that I just couldn't help stopping a while, just to admire the view..

Then, I suddenly remembered a quote I used to love, translated here: Sometimes God takes away the bright sunshine in our life and gives us this great storm and shower of rain. We run around everywhere trying to find back our lost sunshine, only to realize that God really not only gave us back our sunshine after the rain, but also gave us the gift of a beautiful rainbow in the end.

Yeah.. I guess sometimes I forget this true lesson. There is always a rainbow after the storm and somehow, I think God wanted to remind me of this when He made me see the rainbow yesterday. I just hope, I won't forget this too soon..

Btw, I've noticed this song on the radio.. by th American Idol runner up and they say he's deaf in one ear.. stilll not tone deaf, huh..

Wait For You
Artist: Elliott Yamin
Album: Elliott Yamin
Year: 2007
Title: Wait For You

[Verse 1]
I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Girl you could have stayed but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?

[Bridge]
So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be

[Chorus]
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do
I'll wait for you

[Verse 2]
It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is
& it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.

[Bridge]
Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough

[Chorus]
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do
I'll wait for you

[Bridge]
So why does you pride make you run & hide
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside
Thats not how you wanted to be
Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing i do

[Chorus]
Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do
I'll wait for you

I'll Be Waiting

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