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Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Lonely?

Confusions! Confusions! Sometimes I feel as if I dunno what I want.. yet there are times I'm so sure of it that I'm so afraid I won't get it.. what AM I rambling about here?

And yeah.. suddenly I'm remembering what Pojie and Jida said about me.. 'You are lonely!'

Yeah, I might have shrugged it off then.. Heck, I might have laughed at it, especially when Jida expressed it as the indecent-type of loneliness that made me feel torn between amused (99.9%) and offended (0.1%) hahah.. but Jida kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!! Hahah.. no offense there, friend..

But well, at times I DO feel lonely, specifically when with friends who are.. well, not as lonely as I am haha.. Now I don't think I'm making sense here!

I mean, just because I'm lonely, doesn't mean I'm desperate, right? It doesn't mean I'll take anyone who asks first haha.. tu macam sangat teruk la! Ok, I'm not going on and on about this lonely issue when I'm dealing with something else here, but still, maybe there is a connection between them, huh?

I guess I am lonely, and to make matters worse, I don't trust people as much as I'd like to. In the end, I hurt people who have good intentions and who are really sincere. Which somehow brings me back to square one and makes me end up alone.. still being all lonely huh? I don't know what to do! At times I'm afraid people are just taking advantage of my loneliness.. and yeah, I know, that proves how paranoid I am.. so its still my fault, huh?

God, help me.. please!

I don't think I'm making sense..

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