Big, big world..

Emilia - Big Big World

*Chorus*
I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if u leave me
But I do do feel
That I do do will
Miss u much
Miss u much

*V1*
I can see the first leaves falling
It's all yellow and nice
It's so very cold outside
Like the way I'm feeling inside

*Chorus*
I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if u leave me
But I do do feel
That I do do will
Miss u much
Miss u much

*V2*
Outside it's no raining
And tears are falling from my eyes
Why did it have to happen
Why did it all have to end

*Chorus*
I'm a big big girlIn a big big world
It's not a big big thing if u leave me
But I do do feel
That I do do will
Miss u much
Miss u much

*V3*
I have your arms around me
Warm like fire
But when I open my eyes......
Your gone

*Chorus*
I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if u leave me
But I do do feel
That I do do will
Miss u much
Miss u much

*Repeat Chorus*
I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing
If u leave me
But I do Feel I will
Miss u much
miss u much

I've been listening to this song for a couple of days now and somehow, I'm still not bored of it. Lets just say, its the song of my life right now..

These past few days have seen me thinking a lot about IM. I guess, the current things happening to me now has somehow triggered these memories I thought I had buried eversince I realized of the existance of MBC.

I know, I still miss him..

I talked to his mother a couple of days ago. We talked about a lot of things, about their new grandson (she even handed the phone to the eldest dear boy who started talking incoherently with childhood excitement), about pak cik, about raya, about my family.. and just when I said goodbye, she stopped me and told me a bit about IM. She told me about him working with another company (which I somehow already knew when listening to kak Julie and kak Shima talking a few weeks ago).

As usual, whenever she talked about him, I'd be left speechless.. though part of me wanted to know everything about him, there's this bigger part who doesn't want to have anything to do with him now. I'm a big girl now, I don't need to cling on to memories which I thought made me happy, when in reality, just made me more hurt than ever.

I've also received a few 'talking-to' s from friends and one of my 'wittle bwothers' about letting go. Though I feel I have, I guess my friends feel differently and who knows, maybe they ARE right..

But.. I want to let go and I want to move on.. and I know, my friends are all beside me.. thank you, guys!

In the meantime, I'll listen to this song a few more times lagi.. :-)