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Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Master Disaster Pt 2

"Boleh antar your thesis by this December tak?"

Rasa cam terdengar² lagi suare Dr Wan tanya soklan tuh heheh.. Suprised? Maybe.. maybe not!

It started yesterday morning when he called me, asking to see me. The only thing that was going in my head was,"What have I done now??" I woke up late and only arrived at the campus around 9. His call came in when I was right in front of the campus gate so as soon as reached the school, I pratically ran to his room.

I was quiet for a while after he told me the problems with the grant. Well, truth is, I should've finished my M.Sc sooner.. tul tak? Somehow, I don't think I was really worried. In fact, I was a bit relieved, knowing this dateline would just help to motivate me on completing my masters but I DID feel a tad pity to my superviser, he seemed so worried thinking about all of us (his postgrad students, ROs an RAs).

Just as I thought, that afternoon, he called all the RAs to go see him one by one. All of them had just got to know about our 'fate' and all wore this troubled expression never seen before on their faces. Dr Wan told them the same thing, they had only until December to find new jobs but until then, he'd still pay their salary. All of us even joked about opening a food stall or something haha.. Hasrul, who seldom joins in the jokes gave his two cent worth by suggesting a car wash centre, with kak Sue and kak Bibah taking care of the accounts :-)

Watching them, I realized how serious this is for them. I mean, kak Sue, kak Bibah, Hasrul, Man and Zul all have families to support so they were really worried. As for me and Erwan, when we complete our Masters, we'd just have to hunt for suitable jobs without much worrying about family expanses or whatsoever.. ok, tipu la kalau kata tak worry, but at least we have more options than the RAs.

The whole day, I couldn't do anything. Erwan kept asking me if we were really up to the challenge of writing up in just a bit more than 2 months, while I was going through this blank phase where everything was swirling in my head.

That night, while waiting for my tuition class, I suddenly realized that if I really concentrated, I WILL be able to complete my thesis to the last dot. Lets say I submitted the thesis in December, my viva might come around March or April. Then I'd have another month of final corrections before submitting the 3 copies of my final thesis AND I'd be able to graduate in next years convocation. The time is just right, isn't it! Next year, by this time, I might already be starting a new job which for the life of me, I can't even imagine what yet haha.. that, I guess, would be a mystery only God knows for this time.

I suddenly found myself with this silly grin on my face, and joy beyond words growing in my heart!

Truth is, the past few weeks, I've been praying for the 'strength' to fight away my laziness and really do my thesis seriously, but not everyday turns out like it should. Sometimes, I won't really be doing anything for a whole day so I really prayed hard that I'd be a bit more rajin la. I get frustrated when I realize how much time I've wasted, and I confess, I didn't feel like God was watching over me since he just let me be the lazy me. But all along, He was there, only slightly hidden by my blindness. This is really a blessing in disguise, as I already am doing A LOT of things I've put aside before haha.. nampak sangat malas sebelum ni, needed this great shove to put me back in the right direction!

Well, cross your fingers, and pray for me, k!

M.Sc, here I come!!!

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