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Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Of "saya/awak" and "aku/hang/kau"

Oeo Tak GUNO...awat dok ajuk2 aku nih...hehehe Ni Ayunya pasal la ni..cuba ubah sket cakap tu dari saya/awak ke aku/hang...ble tak Ayu? SANGGUP TAK???­

I was browsing Baizurah a.k.a Sentot's blog yesterday when I came across an entry she, herself, posted in her guestbook! I had to laugh though heheh..

Nope, I wasn't offended.. not even a bit! I've been so used to these comments that it suprises me when some of my friend don't even notice I talk this way. Usually they only notice this when I'm talking on the phone with someone else and once I hang up, I'd be bombarded with question on who I'm talking with.. very busybody ah, you guys! Dulu, I used to be puzzled, until I learnt that supposedly, only lovers talk like that (saya/awak) to each other.. duh!

Yup, I've spent the last 18 years of my life talking with people using 'saya/awak'. The years before that don't count because at home we use "I/you". I've never been able to use 'aku/hang' or 'aku/kau' with anyone, not even my bestfriends!

It started when I was in standard 1 where the common usage then was 'kami/hangpa'! But one day, Cikgu Noerida took me aside.

Cikgu Noerida : Ayu, 'kami' tu ape maksud dia?
Me : (wanting to please) Kami tu ramai orang, macam 'we'
Cikgu Noerida : Habis tu, kenapa Ayu cakap 'kami'?
Me : (a bit ashamed here) Salah ke? Kene guna ape?
Cikgu Noerida : Kalau untuk sorang, kite guna ape?
Me : Errr.. saya?
Cikgu Noerida : Pandai pun, lepas ni Ayu guna 'saya/awak' tau.
Ayu : Ok!

And from that day on, I never used any other form except 'saya/awak'. Still, a few years back, I realized that whenever I was mad at my siblings (biasa laaa.. the eldest rules kaaaaan!!), I'd find myself saying 'aku' and *shudders* I hated it! I had a hard time trying to shake that habit from me and thankfully, I don't talk that way again. Not that 'aku' isn't a good word, just that is seems so harsh la, kasar giler bile guna time marah, kan!

And I'm not saying my choice of 'saya/awak' is better than 'aku/hang/kau' because *ashamed*, I talk like this to my extended family too. I don't say 'awak' la to them, I just use 'saya' when everyone else uses their names as referance to themselves. I am a bit ashamed of this. I've tried using 'Ayu' as referance to myself but I end up tongue-tied, trying not to imagine myself as a third person. I especially abandoned the idea of using 'Ayu' when my aunty, Mak Yang (who's in Tangkak now), laughed her head off when I tried speaking like that.

Mak Yang : Ayu, kome nak bakar sampah tak petang ni?
Me : Boleh jugak, takpe, nanti Ayu buat..
Mak Yang : Huh? Ayu? Hahahahahahaha.. Ayuuuuuuuuuu! Dia cakap Ayuuuu

I was taunted by her until the end of the school holidays (Hahahah, Ayuuuu.. !) I guess, even SHE finds it strange hearing me talk like that hahah.. However, in Mama's family, I don't really feel like the odd one out since even Mak Yang's children talk using 'saya' with our elders too.. *whew* But with Abah's family, its a different matter hahah.. In fact, once when I was quarelling with Iwan, he retorted saying I was 'strange' for calling myself 'saya' instead of 'Ayu'. That boy ahhhh, he made me feel like a freak for a whole week until the others assured me that its ok to say 'saya'!

I remember in KMK, this guy used to call me 'biawak' coz I always talked in 'saya/awak'. Hah! I don't care, this is what I am. In fact, most of my freinds remember me as the 'saya/awak' girl.

And please don't misunderstand, though I'll never be comfortable using 'aku/hang/kau' in my conversations, its not like I don't like it. In fact, in my honest opinion, it shows the very close relationship of two individuals though don't you guys ever say that I don't want to be close to people because of the way I speak ;-p

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