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Sunday, August 14, 2005

Aaahhhh.. some time alone..

I had breakfast with kak Kathy this morning. Planned to buck up on my intentionally delayed work and at least complete half of it by the end of the day. We ate at Anuar's.. yummy breakfast there! Then kak Kathy wanted to go find some flowers before dropping me off at home.

Back home, I started the engine of my car before going in to get my newly washed clothes. Somehow, during that time, I suddenly felt the urge to do somethin' else so I wasn't suprised when, instead of heading to USM, I took the turn to Penang!

Now, its been a long time since I last felt comfortable being alone with myself so I was a bit doubtful. True, at the early part of the journey, my mind started to wonder to some things I'd rather forget, but as I was starting to feel teary, one of my favourite songs blasted throguh my cd player. Cranking up the volume, I sang along at the top of my voice.


More Than Love – Los Lonely Boys


we were in love before
But now it's so much more
Cause when I kiss your lips
I can't explain
What I feel in my heart for you

I don't know what I'd do
Baby, if I lost you
Cause I've been without you
And I know how it feels
And I can't be alone anymore

I know its more than love
Baby, I can feel it
When I'm close to you
I know its more than love
Baby, do you?

And maybe my words don't explain
Why I'm feelin' this way

guitar interlude

Maybe my words don't explain
Why I'm feelin' this way

I don't know what I'd do
Baby, If I lost you
Cause I've been without you
And I know how it feels
And I can't be alone anymore

I know its more than love
Baby, I can feel it
When I'm close to you
I know its more than love
Baby, I can feel it
When I'm close to you
I know its more than love
Baby, do you?


Most of you might not have heard of this song. I heard this song on the radio every night and it sort of grew on me. I like the lyrics though, very simple yet meaningful. I remember when I was searching for this song, I kept telling everyone, whoever gives me this song, I'm gonna ask him to marry me hehe..

I kept hitting the repeat button and before long, I realized I had arrived at Megamall. Now, I really wanted to go find a card for my invisible friend, its his birthday next week, but I also wanted to watch Bewitched and since I thought my usual 'cinema gang' (Sowi Pojie, ingat takmo tengok and klau Pojie tanak tengok, akak malas nak tanya kat Juty dah..) wouldn't want to watch it, I headed straight to the cinema to buy my ticket.

The show was at 1.00pm and it was still 11.35am at that time so I headed straight to my favourite store.. POPULAR! It was a good thing I only had RM 20 in my purse or I might have bought some books there. I found Polgara the Sorceress (The Belgariad) and I really enjoyed that book when I borrowed it from Toroque that I wanted to own the whole set. Nasib baik tak cukup duit.

Its really is a shame when you go into a bookstore without money but its quite much more if you go into a book shop WITH money but WITHOUT any idea on what book to buy, like how I felt when I wanted to buy a book as a birthday gift. Sangat tension when you can't find the book you want and you have to hunt for another book. Thats why I prefer going into books store without money anyway, at least you get to browse through the shelves and shelves of books. I also found out that Chronicles of Narnia set I was eyeing for so long was already missing. Ishh.. takde rezeki! I went over to the Series of Unfortunate Events but somehow, those books don't interest me as much as it once did.

I must've spent a good hour up there. By the time I finally went down to the card section, I was calculating my next months tuition money for the books I had just seen. The cards here didn't catch my attention and I decide to settle with a card I bought at Carrefour the day before when I went out with Wamlah, Salwa and Sha.

Mencelah sikit. For the first 4 years of our friendship, I always had my invisible friend's card ready around a month before his birthday and in the last two years, though we weren't on speaking terms, I still bought his cards early. This year, I must've waited till the last minute. I mean, his birthday is next Sunday I only bought his card now. Guess I'm starting to get over him (yeaaaahh riggghhhtttt!!!)

Anyway, I only had time to buy a drink before I realized the movie was about to start. Grabbing a bun (AND paying, mind you!) I rushed to the top level and was in time for the movie. I must say, it felt a bit strange walking into the cinema alone but then again, I did this when I was a student, remember! When it was so hard to coax my housemates who prefered the 'cetak rompak' cds. Maybe it was because it had been such a long time since I last did something like this. I was the only one sitting in my aisle and there was a couple behind me as well as in front of me. Biasa la, mid day shows, mana ramai owang!

When the movie started, I forgot I was alone, just like how I always feel whenever I went to the movies alone. I mean, I had been so afraid if this time I might feel a bit lonely or something, but I realized, this part of me has never changed. Still, I guess I'm a bit old to go watching movies alone if the cinema is packed. I'll still feel self-concious, I think, so I'll stick to midday shows if I wanna watch alone.

The movie wasn't THAT disappointing as kak Shima says. I laughed out loud a lot and the lot of you who have heard me laughing out loud would understand what 'OUT LOUD' means here. Hahah.. sangat malu la gelak kuat² sensowang! Thats the con for going out alone, nanti malu nak gelak ke, terjerit ke.. hehe.. I had to clamp my hands over my mouth. A nice and sweet romantic comedy, thought tak leh lawan Hitch la! I love Hitch (for the romantic comedy genre la)!!!

I came outta the cinema with this crooked smile on my face (a smile yang kene cover kalau kuar ngan orang lain hehe..). Yup, I suddenly remembered why I liked watching movies when watching a VCD/DVD could be cheaper since you could watch it no matter how many times.

I was ready to go home by then so going towards the parking lot, I made a detour to this soft toy stall. Truth is, I had already bought this lion cub key chain at the Living Cabin to replace my teddy key chain that has lost her nose and her shoe. But then at this stall, I found Ernie, the rascal of a muppet from Sesame Street and I guess his colourful attire convinced me that he was better at 'looking after' my set of keys (home keys, office keys and bilik kak Sue's keys).

Once inside my car, I started moving all my keys to Ernie. I was humming to myself by then and I refused to think of the fate of my car, come 3rd September, which is still in Abah's name. Yes, I'm worried about what might happend but just then, I didn't want it to spoil the mood. After admiring my new Ernie, I was set to go back home (errr, balik USM sebenarnya dulu).

During the way back, I, again, sang on top of my voice with the radio. C'mon la, though I don't posses the voice of Celine Dion nor Andrea Corr, at least I'm not shattering windows. Besides, if you hate my voice, don't listen ahhh heheh..

Well, arriving at USM, I suddenly realized that I had a great time. I was afraid of being alone with my thoughts, but hey, even my thoughts have missed me, I guess! Maybe, once again, I'd be able to like myself a bit more than these past few years.. and just for luck, my fingers are crossed!

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