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Friday, April 21, 2006

Myself, mumbling now and then..

The past few days have found me a bit busy with such a big workload I thought I'd never finish. My triumph is when I manage to go home BEFORE 2.30am so that's not telling when's my usual time going home nowadays, huh!

Still, when I see how busy Remy is with SOMEONE ELSEs work, I humble down a bit haha.. At least I don't sleep because I'm doing my own work, instead of doing-other-peoples-work-while-worrying-about-my-own. Still remember when we had to force him to go to eat while we helped him.. tu pun nak tolong buat jugak! Apa raaaa Remy.. biar la kitorang nak tolong :-p~

Then there was the problem of my blog. Somehow, the last time I tampered with the template, I must've mistakenly deleted some important parts of the blog. The result: An empty blog! Now I have to recreate my links la apabenda la that I had before, and my bad memory isn't really helping me right now.

All that aside, I'm really in a good mood.. honest! Hahah, kot² la tak percaya, kan..

Then this morning, while waiting for my advisor to correct my paper for the colloquium (I'm never correct when I spell this word!) I was fiddling with my pc.. checking my email, trying to remember the links in my blog, rereading my thesis, main game (ni yang utama sebenarnye hehe..).. then the pop-up window for my MSN messenger came up, indicating one of my contacts is online.

One of my tiring habits is to click on the pop-up to see who it is, though that doesn't mean I'd start a conversation.However, for a fraction of a second, I froze when I noticed who had just come online.

For a while, I was a bit dumbfounded but I surprised myself when I closed the window and continued with my work, while yelling to Ramadhan who had sneakingly come to throw rubbish in my cubicle. I didn't even think about it at all until just now..

I guess its been too long now. I've grown outta the I-cant-even-see-you-online-without-getting-tearful phase and stepping into the I-think-I-can-convince-myself-that-I-dont-care phase. Well, admittedly, 2 days ago I was thinking of IM when I accidently stumbled upon an old photo in my drawer (I thought I'd already thrown that away) that led me to reading my diaryland blog that I've left for so long. I was a bit sad that night but cheered up when I went to have a midnight nasik lemak with Pojie who was hungry mase tu.. hahah, ngan saya² skali makan nasik lemak malam tu, eventhough ade sedikit kurang sedap dari dulu..

Huh? Pardon? What's that you're trying to tell me?


Hahah.. I heard you the first time.. really! I'm not even in my usual wallowing-in-selfpity self here, though I don't really know why I'm talking about this anyway. Maybe its because the past few days, IM has made a few oh-so-briefly appearances in my mind.. he WAS someone close to me, anyway! But that's a 'WAS'.. and at this vey moment, its a 'NOW'! Big differance there if you ask me..

So please, God, remind me of that differance. Remind me that I shouldn't hold on to anyone else when I have You with me every second of the day. Remind me, to never forget You and to never forget the angels You've sent for me in form of family and friends. And remind me, to be thankful of Your blessings, everyday! Amiiin.

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