A weird feeling

You know, I've always been known to be the last mortals on earth to still slaving themsleves to snail mail come birthdays and raya..

The last few days, I've been diligently writing out my usual raya cards (though sgt la sikit this year compared to the previous years.. somehow, with still 15 cards to go, I just dunno WHO to send them to.. aci ke? Padehal sblm ni, siap tak cukup tu.. and I used to buy nearly a hundred of 'em).

To really good friends, I usually put a lengthy write up personally for them. To other friends, I usually wish the a blessed Ramadhan, a happy Aidilfitri and the usual I'm-sorry-for-everything.. and for the final 20 or so cards, I'm usually on autopilot je menulisnye nnt. However, this year seems a bit different..

I find that even though most of this years cards do not have my signature lengthy write up, I really want my friends to know that I mean it when I ask for their forgiveness on everything. For once, I'm really at loss for words at how I should express this to them and I really, really want them to forgive me for everything..

..somehow, though Naudzubillah, I'm not so sure of next years Ramadhan!

..and I'm afraid!

I just dunno why..

And I find myself no longer listing all my friends whom are supposed to get my cards. Instead, I send them to friends who come into mind as I sit down on my desk to write them. Some are close friends whom I've almost lost contact with.. while some are friends whom are near, but I've never found the time to go see them..

..its just weird!

So to my other friends (and also friends who get the cards pun!), from the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry if I ever hurt you, intentionally or not. I haven't grown much and I'm not that much a better person than what I hope I am, but at this very moment, I am sorry for anything I did wrong. If I've still got anything that I'm indebted to you, please step forward and tell me k..

..I'd appreciate that.