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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

And then there were 7..

1980 - Nurikhwani Idayu
1981 - Izuan Bakhtiar
1982 - Idham Mursyidi
1986 - Ikram Abadi
1989 - Nurikhsan Izati
1992 - Iskandar Muhammad

The list above shows the full names of my siblings along with our year of birth.. until earlier this year la somehow..

There's my name on top of the list a.k.a kak Yong (eldest sister) to my brothers and sister and cousins as well as close family friends. My nieces and nephews (the reason 'nephews' come second is because they are outnumbered by my nieces) have been trained by yours sincerely to call me Cik Yong. I didn't like the normal Mak Yong.. cam nama tarian traditional.. nor did I like the other name Wan Yong coz Wan means grandfather in the northern dialect, compared to 'Aunty' in our Perak dialect.. waaa, nanti kena gelak ngan orang utara!! Good thing my aunt prefers the Cik Yong version too hehe.. sayaaaaaaang Mak Yang!

Then there's Iwan who's a year younger than me, known as Abangah (shortform of Abang Ngah) by the younger ones coz they're too lazy to call him the longer name. I was the one who started calling him Iwan since I couldn't pronounce Izuan when I was small. To our anak² sedara, I'm not sure how he calls himself though.. never heard him bahasakan diri dia ape yet.

A year after Iwan, came Adi or Abalang (also short form but this time from Abang Alang). He is my closest brother. I'm always nagging on everything about him.

"Adi, your rambut dah panjang.. potong la!"

"Adi, stop pulling my hair"

"Adi, cuba beli baju kemas sikit"

"Adi, seluar pun berlubang"

"Adi tu.. Adi ni"

Hehe.. but he's still the brother I love to hang out with. The both of us have come to one understanding, that I'm not publishing here.. and boy I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling like that! We agree on most things though we might have different views. And he's the one I love ganging up with Izati to gaduh².

Next came Ikram, much to the jealousy of Adi. See, Adi had been the youngest for 4 years before Ikram came along. Ikram is known as Anchik by the younger one's (another shortform from Abang Chik) but to the older ones, he affectionately calls himself Iyam, though we told him Iyam is a girl's name when he was smaller. Still, in front of his friends, he asks us to call him Ikram hahah.. I wrote an entry about him earlier.. one of my earliest entries. Now he's back here though I haven't had the chance to meet up with him. Ye la, bila kak Yong balik kampung, Iyam dah balik KL, cammana nak jumpa?

Then there's Izati or Ti ('kakak' to Iskandar). She's my one and only sis (errr.. until April this year la..). I wanted to have a sister so much when I was small and how happy I was when I finally got one. 9 years younger than me, I felt the gap when I was in school, but now, I feel as if the gap is thinning and I'm finally accepting the fact that my sister has grown up. I remember once, when choosing her 'pangkat', she wanted to be called Mak Su by our anak sedara but we told her, 'Su' was only for the youngest, in this case, Iskandar la. She was stubborn and still wanted that name until finally, after months of persuading her, she agreed to choose another name. Me, being the usual irritating eldest sister, announced to everyone that she was to be called Mak Tam and how furious Izati was. I finally stopped calling her Mak Tam when she cried after I was teaching my niece, Majdah (who's, by the way, real name is Majdah Izati) to call her Mak Tam. Mak Yang scolded me hehe.. "Kome ni, kawan tu elok putih, panggil dia Mak Tam kenapa?"

Then finally there's Iskandar.. my youngest brother! Stubborn as a mule and turning Mama's hair white is his specialty. He's always been doing cheeky things since he was small that he's the source of 'kena kutuk' at home. I mean, ade ke bawak ayam katik tu baring sekali ngan dia? Then, trying to hatch eggs on MY bed! Reciting azan Isya' at the surau when the elders were not looking, with the speaker on full blast, mind you! The list goes on hehe..

However..

2005 - Nuribtisam Annisa

Huh? Who's this?

Some of you who have been following my blog would have noticed a blog entry I published in mid-April.. about having a new sis. Well, the truth is, I really wanted to talk about her in this entry. I just went to have my first peek at my new sister 2 days ago. Baizurah calls it "the Nasik Lemak Project".

I've been meaning to go and see my sis since I first got to know about her. But somehow, thinking of Mama, I always have put off the meeting. However, my sister's instinct overpowered me last week. Suddenly, I just wanted to see my new sister.

The whole week, I had to prepare myself, mentally and physically for the 'meeting'. I didn't tell my parents coz.. well, if I told Mama, I know I wouldn't hear the last of it.. and if I told abah.. well, that's another story altogether. Besides, if I suddenly developed cold feet, no one would know, right?

Anyway, the day came. I woke up early, couldn't even take a nap after Subuh. I had already rehearsed what I was going to converse about and I kept replaying the scenes in my head. I mean, Abah has always been trying to find fault in me EVERYTIME I see him, especially after he got married again, so I was frantically finding ways to avoid these confrontations or how to retaliate, just in case. My nerves were not in their best conditions and my heartbeat must have been to the point of abnormality!

After a few moments of deciding what was the best thing to wear, so no faults could be found there, and after trying to make myself as presentable as ever, I started my journey to Tasek Gelugor. I stopped at Bkt Panchor to buy my favourite nasik lemak (Thus the name 'Nasik Lemak Project") but the mak cik didn't open her stall so I settled for the stall next to hers.

The whole way there, my mind was busy. Even my favourite songs on my favourite station couldn't take my mind off THE MEETING. Approaching the Butterworth-Kulim Expressway, I had this sudden urge to go back but part of me was determined to get over with it. I mean, it was only a few miles more.

When I arrived, I saw some of the workers in front of the container. I was half-hoping that Abah wasn't there so I could just speed back home but I noticed his car so I knew he was there. After asking about his whereabouts to a worker, I took a long breath and stepped towards the room. However, the appearance of Iskandar there took away all my anxieties as I was too suprised to see him!

I guess my wittle bwudder here helped me to relax. After salam with my father and exchanging a few pleasantries, I was finally calm. In fact, I suddenly realized how much I missed Abah though I have never been close to him.

I finally told Abah I wanted to see my sister and he answered with the most obvious answer,"She's your sister, apa salah pulak?" Hehe..

However, she was nursing with my stepmom so I waited a bit. Now, I've been avoiding meeting with my stepmom before, I always had this impression that she hates us but I guess, or maybe I'm hoping, wishful thinking perharps, I might be wrong! I avoid calling her Ummi or Mak Cik, I'm just not THAT comfortable yet with her. But when she saw me, she stopped nursing Annisa (or Echa.. I heard Iskandar call her something like that) so I went to salam her. All at once, my resentment dissolved when I lay my eyes on my sister.

I guess, thats why most of us wonder how some people can be so ruthless to mistreat thier children. Just look at the cases of 'penderaan kanak²', some are just so senseless, you'd couldn't even compare them to animals as even animal are better. I was looking at my sister and this warm pleasant feeling came flooding my heart. I forgot all my worries and all negative thoughts and just wanted to hold her in my arms.

She's 'botak', just like I was until my 2nd birthday but I assured my stepmom that she'd grow up like me, with hair so thick that tends to grow long overnight that she's have the same problem as I had when it comes to 'stuffing' our hair in our 'anak tudung'. And she looks exactly like Iskandar, I still have Iskandar's baby picture and I plan to give it to Abah, just so they could see the similiarities we have.. Yup! Shes definitely my sister.

Once, Abah was starting to go back in his habit to scold me for something but instead of hearing his voice rising, I heard it faltering as he watched me and my sister. Dari suara yang macam nak marah, it just ended in this unaudible mumble and from the corner of my eyes, I saw him smiling.

I was having the time of my life. My sister was already 3 months old so she was starting to notice people and she kept cooing at me, as if she had so much to tell me. She's already an expert at smiling (like most 3 months old la.. I'm not bragging here, I know the torture of listenig to people saya their child is a genius.. hey! I have 5 smaller siblings so though I'm not an expert, I know this is NORMAL) like her namesake, which by the way means "The light of a woman's smile" or cahaya senyuman wanita.

After eating the nasik lemak with Abah, my stepmom and Iskandar, I was ready to go back home. I didn't want to overstay my welcome, besides, I was filled with this stab of guilt whenever I thought of Mama so I excused my self after nearly 2 hours there. Abah and my stepmom, along with my sister sent me to the car. After the goodbyes, and a last kiss to my sister, I went home.

I guess you could say, it all went well, unexpectedly. I mean, I've always cried whenever I meet Abah since he's always finding my fault but this time, it was different. I thought I saw a flicker of sadness on Abah's face when I waved goodbye, and the truth is, I'm sad too. I wish things were different but I know, this is takdir. The fate bestowed on us eversince we were up there with Him.

One thing I noticed, no wonder Iskandar has been making frequent visits here, he's totally smitten with the sister he so much wanted for such a long time. He used to bahasakan himself 'abang' to all our feline friends and even to 'Atik' our ayam katik we had years ago. The differance between me and him is 12 years AND 4 siblings in the middle but he only got a younger sibling in his 13th year and it felt so good seeing him happily playing with his sister. Somehow, I know that I'll back him up whenever Mama 'teases' him about going there instead of just leaving him alone to face it. He's definitely 'big brother material'! :-)

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