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Tuesday, April 19, 2005

After more than 12 years, I have another sister..?

Mama: I have news. Congratulations, you have a new sister!

Huh? Sister? My hands and eyes and MIND was busy with JAMAR that it took me a while to understand. Mama waited patiently, for my reaction I guess, but she must have realized she won't get any coz she just gave me the details, as far as she knew.

My father's wife had given birth to a baby girl that very morning. Thru caesarean; so now my sibling are not 6 but 7 with the additional girl making us a total of 3 girls to 4 boys.

Now, I have never really accepted my father's second marriage (he did it sneakily anyway) but I never really pretended that it never happened. Lets just say that, I'm the 'atas pagar' party. But that doesn't mean that I'd want to meet his wife and accept her whole heartedly anyway. She made it obvious that she doesn't like us so I took the other way out ie avoid them. But upon hearing about my new sister, I was filled with this eagerness to see her. She is my sister, anyway, right!

Maybe I was born as a full time sister. All I wanted to do was to go to Penang (and I was in Melaka at that time) to see my sister. All resentment suddenly blurred in the backgroud and what I could see was, a new addition to our flock. Now, if I could only find a way to avoid my father and his wife hehe..

At first, I was confused. I mean, shouldn't I be mad or something. I was even afraid to show how I felt to my mother, knowing its hard for her to accept all this but in reality, I was just as happy as I felt when my other siblings were born. In fact, when Mama told me Abah wanted to name our sister just like me and Izati, I was already mentally checking names we had for Izati.

But.. its really hard you know, wanting to be happy but not knowing how to show it so that some people won't be offended. I don't want Mama to feel like we're offending her but I also want to share the joy of a new sister with her.. gosh, I really have to be careful here.

O-oh, picture this, when my sister is 25, me as her oldest sister will be 50!! An aging grandma. It won't look much like siblings, would it? In a way, I find it hilarious haha.. there's such a huge gap between us.. Though the thought is uncomfortable as well as funny and (a bit) charming perhaps, the novelty of a new sister hasn't lessened in my book.. I think I really, sincerely want to see her :)


ice messenger said...

Grandma at the age of 50? Wow, that sound quite early to me! Hehe

That JAMAR you mentioned early in the txt, is it something to do with ergonomics tool?

Ayu Ikhwani said...

Huh? Oppsss, I didn't think anyone would stumble upon my blog hehe..

As for the grandma thingy, that's just me talking.. I'm not even a WIFE yet, let alone a MOTHER, so you're right, I guess grammyhood is still far, far away :-)

And nope, JAMAR is just something I use to find the delays for stopped vehicles.. don't ask me what it stands for, I'm still trying to find it out myself ;p