Being my own worst enemy.. =(

Please don't hate me ='(

Its been a bad week for me..

Finally, I did something I've been meaning to do for months now but the relieved feeling I was hoping for still hasn't shown up and I'm feeling a bit worse at the moment but my guess is, this is better than what I've been feeling (or trying not to feel) these past few months.. eventhough deep down inside, I know I'm ruining something beautiful and something thats been so meaningful in my life.. Believe me, I wouldn't have wanted to let it go..

Gosh.. why can't I stop crying?!?

I wish so much to talk to someone about it but I can't bring myself to do so. I've tried talking to my brother, but the lump in my throat just gets bigger, chocking me of the things I wish I could just let out. I tried talking to a dear friend, but found myself tongue-tied whenever she asks me about it and last night I tried talking to a dear ol' friend who has always been my shoulder to cry on.. but I just couldn't..

..and my heart gets heavier and heavier.. ='(

I keep wishing I could clarify things with the person involved but I know I'm too much of a coward for it. I just hope I'm not making things harder than its supposed to be..

..and I wish I'd stop being such a broken dam!