Sy teringat.. mlm raya 8 tahun lepas..

Tak berniat pun nak teringat sebenarnye tp maybe kot tahun ni bnyk bende yg sy bnyk teringat balik..

2002

My parents promised to come pick me up on the way back to Kuala Kangsar from Penang that morning but for some reason, they were late. It didn't matter that much since I'd already gone home to Penang the previous week for spring-cleaning the house and for cookie-baking with my brothers and sister so there wasn't really much to do before we went back to kampung.

I was quite bored since I'd already finished packing days before. I was excited this year since I had bought the baju raya for my whole family. It was the first time I earned money and I wanted to do something for them so of course la excited skit nak raye kan..

But the early morning turned to late morning and late morning turned to midday. During that time, IM was still in my life and I spent the time just smsing him to and fro. In the afternoon, when my parents still hadn't come to pick me up, he was more worried than me though I had assured him that I already called my family and was told they'd be late.

He'd been worried since the day before, knowing that all in-campus cafes were closed and I didn't have my trusty PFK yet then so I can't go out to buy anything for iftar. He was worried when I told him I might just go walk to the Pusat Islam alone for tarawikh that night and again he was worried that I might not have anything to eat for sahur that night. He kept calling me asking if it was ok for me if his non-Muslim friend (whom I tak kenal langsung) went to buy food for me. To some people, this might be annoying, but I was enjoying the attention he gave me.. yes, I admit to that!

So that day when by iftar my family still hadn't picked me up, again he kept calling me asking if I had anything to eat or if I was afraid (since I was the only one left in the block) He even expressed his wish to come to the campus (which was like almost 150km from his home). Of course it made me smile.. and all fuzzy inside.

It had been a great Ramadhan for us where before we were a bit shy around each other since our friends loved to tease us. But this time, our friends had all graduated, he was doing his MSc while I was working while contemplating on doing my MSc. We'd YM through the night and still emailed each other constantly eventhough we were in the same hostel block. He even sent me 2 raya cards haha.. one of it hand made by himself so yes, I was really happy then though very much confused on my feelings for him. It was this Ramadhan that he first called me. He had my number for almost 2 years then and we never called each other even though we'd known each other for almost 4 years then. I was secretly pleased too when he told his mother I was his Ayu, though I never admitted that, so the simple truth then was: I was happy!

When my parents finally arrived after Isya', he was more relieved than me, even called me to make sure I was really surounded by my family instead of lying to him just to make him feel better.. I smiled the whole night then.

It didn't annoy me when he kept texting to ask if I'd arrive safely at my kampung, nor did it annoy me when his sms was the first I received that raya morning. I wasn't tired of his text updates throughout the day, I even looked forward for it and his call..

I don't even know why I'm suddenly remembering all this and I felt a bit guilty of remembering him.. so guilty that when on the night of raya this year, his mother called, I just couldn't pick up the phone (Mintak maaf sgt, Mak Cik.. :( ) I was suddenly worried if she knew I was thinking of him again..

I dunno.. I guess sometimes I just wonder, would someone ever care for me like that again?

*sigh*