Stop and Stare

OneRepublic
Stop And Stare Lyrics

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

c/o
Stop and stare I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be,
oh Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

c/o
Stop and stare I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be,
oh Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need
What u need, what u need...

Stop and stare I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...

My Suprise :)

*Adeh.. tak sempat update.. nak gi pasa malam.. tgk la sok pagi pas jogging, kot sempat update ek.. but this is the suprise i've been talking about :)*

An almost Perfect Valentine song.. at least for me laaaa hehe..

Title: With You
Artist: Chris Brown

I need you boo
I gotta see you boo
And there's hearts all over the world tonight
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight

I need you boo
I gotta see you boo
And there's hearts all over the world tonight
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight

Hey lil mama, ooh you're a stunner
Hot little figure, yes you a winner,
andI'm so glad to be yours
You're a class of your own and
Ooh little cutie, when you talk to me
I swear the whole world stops
You're my sweetheart and
I'm so glad that you're mine
You are one of a kind, and

You mean to me
what I mean to you
And together baby there is nothing we won't do

'Cause if I got you
I don't need money
I don't need cars
Girl you're my heart

And oh, I'm into you and
Girl no one else would do
With every kiss and every hug
You make me fall in love
And now I
know I can't be the only one
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
With the love of their life who feel
What I feel when I'm with you,
with you,
with you,
with you,
with you... girl

With you,
with you,
with you,
with you,
with you... Oh girl

I don't want nobody else
Without you there's no one left, and
You're like Jordans on Saturday
I gotta have you and I cannot wait now

Hey lil shorty, say you care for me
You know I care for you
You know that I will be true
You know that I won't lie
You know that I will try
Be your everything

'Cause if I got youI don't need money
I don't need cars
Girl you're my heart

Oh, I'm into you and
Girl no one else would do
With every kiss and every hug
You make me fall in love

And now I know I can't be the only one
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
With the love of their life who feel
What I feel when I'm with you,
with you,
with you,
with you,
with you... ohhh

With you,
with you,
with you,
with you,
with you... Yeah

And I will never try
To deny that you are my whole life
'Cause if you ever let me go
I would die so
I won't run

I don't need another woman
I just need you or nothing
'Cause if I got that
Then I'll be straight
Baby you're the best part of my day

I need you boo
I gotta see you boo
And there's hearts all over the world tonight
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight

They need their boo
They gotta see their boo
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight
Hearts all over the world tonight

And oh, I'm into you and
Girl no one else would do
With every kiss and every hug
You make me fall in love
And now I know I can't be the only one
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
With the love of their life who feel
What I feel when I'm with you,
with you,
with you,
with you,
with you... ohhh(girl)

With you,
with you,
with you,
with you,
with you... ohhh

With you,
with you,
with you,
with you,
with you...

With you,
with you,
with you,
with you,
with you...Baby yeah

Murid².. sile buat karangan bertajuk "Minggu Malang bg Ayu"..

*sigh*

For this whole week, today is the ONLY day I managed to come to work at 8am. The previous 3 days have been quite frustrating.. but whats a bit of frustration now and then, huh?

Monday found me queueing at Public Bank in Bagan Serai to cash in my cheque for tuition classes. I had planned to use the money for my car insurance and road tax.. and was planning to buy a new pair of jeans too :D

Anyway, there I was, queueing with 20 people in front of me, and only 3 operating counters.. sheesh!

Then, after getting my money, I crossed the road to Takaful Malaysia just to realize that I had left the car grant at home.. so of course I had to rush back to retrieve it and then went to Takaful in Parit Buntar to renew my insurace policy.. with a queue of about 7 people in front of me and a very, very slow online system.

It was 1.30pm when I finished so I quickly went to Pos Malaysia to pay the road tax.. with 15 people in front of me (Yes! I counted!!!) and when it was my turn, I was sadly greeted by the "Tidak dapat diproses". The person behind the counter asked me to come around 2.30, just in case the system was still a bit slow so I went to service the aircond of my car before returning to the post office (with 12 people in front of me now) and once again I couldn't pay it but this time the person behind the counter asked me to go check my summons.. Saman lagi ke? Uwaaaaaaaaaaa..

I went back to school to find that I had one speeding ticket.. aiseh! Lame dah tak kene saman nih.. So I prepared the usual 'surat rayuan' and headed to the Jawi Police Station just to be told that the blacklisted summon was actually Abah's and not mine (my car is still in Abah's name so thats why I couldn't pay my road tax).. so I called Abah and told him about his blacklisted summon, hoping he'd pay it. He gave me the excuse that he didn't have the letter so I told him I'd send the printed summon to him in Bertam.

The next day, I went to Penang to service my car. I had a budget of RM150 (but naturally I bought more money la) but was charged RM255. Well, what did I expect, the last time I did it was in September, of course la byk bende kene tuko Ayu oiiiiii.. Then I went to Bertam to send the summon.. but I should've known la my father.. adeh!!

Oh.. before that. I went home 1st to complain about the balcklisted summon to Mama and guess what.. Otw to Bertam, I was stopped by a policeman in the Ops Sikap and I GOT A SPEEDING TICKET!! Uwaaaa lagi..

Then, yesterday I called Abah only to find out that he hadn't paid it and wasn't intending to pay it.. uwaaaaaa! Problem is, I HAVE TO PAY MY ROAD TAX!

So at 10am I went to Bertam to pay Abah's summon of RM300 (there goes the spectacles I had planned to buy) then went to JPJ for my road tax..

Ohhh.. terase di buli :(

And those three days were VERY tiring for me..

Good thing today is D-Day for my suprise :):):)

At least I have something to look forward to.. kan :D

On a lighter note..

You know, I just read my previous entry and it seems so buruk la hahaha.. Worth two pagefuls of ranting and babbling and complaining and whining macam org tak matured (matured sgt ke pun cik Ayu punnnnn?)

So I decided to share something.. mmm, happy! :)

You know whats better than being suprised? And I mean surprised in a good way, not the unpleasant sort..

Hehe, yup! Its planning a surprise :)

Right now I am soooooo excited! Very much anticipating Valentines Day next week.. and before Baizurah jumps to the conclusion that I have a boyfriend, its NOT THAT! :p

I love surprises.. either receiving them or giving them.. though I must say, giving them gives you so much pleasure. The last time I surprised someone, it gave me a high for days hehe.. I must've been smiling more than the person who received it!

This time, I decided to surprise someone who means a lot to me.. who is very dear to me.. who I care very much about.. and who's been so busy these past few months that I hope my surprise would bring a smile to his face..

It didn't take long to plan it as I had the resources within reach. I've even paid (just around half an hour ago) for it so its already a done deal and right now I so want it to be next week already heheh..

Sheesh! I'd really like to share the details here, but I'm so afraid he'll read my blog, though I don't think he's been dropping by that much nowadays.. but still, to be on the safe side, my lips (or rather my fingers) would be sealed till next week.

I'd definitely post an entry about it when the day comes.. InsyaAllah!

Till then, I'll be having a new spring in my step as I await for D-Day :)

*rubbing hands* Can't wait :) :) :)

A tale of the stupid me!

"Trust no one!!!"

..itulah kate² Salimin hari Sabtu lepas!

You know, sometimes I think that I never learn!!! *tatau nak marah ke atau nak kecewa ngan diri sendiri*

I'm quite close to a few of my juniors and most of the time, I treat them like my own siblings, especially the ones I'm close to. Once in a while, I get to know new people and just like that, I get all friendly with them and that.

Anyway, I just got to know one of them a few months ago. We had gone to do some traffic counting and since most seniors aren't here, I had to take along some juniors, mainly Izham a.k.a Chik Am, Azmil and this junior I'll call 'H'. Naturally, we had a good time and the friendship continues even now.

During other traffic countings, 'H' told me he didn't have any money so he wanted to borrow some. It struck me as odd at first as

1. I just knew the guy for a few weeks
2. Can't his friends help him?

But knowing how difficult it is when we don't have money (Hey.. I'm the expert of not having money here heheh..), I just gave him RM20 of the ONLY RM100 I had at that time. He paid me of course, after a few months and I didn't actually think about it anymore until a few weeks ago.

Truth is, he's been quiet after borrowing my money but since I wasn't as close to him as I was with the other two, it didn't actually bother me. Still, suddenly a few weeks ago he contacted me..

*sigh* I know, I know.. I should've learnt my lesson ages ago. Some people only go and find you whenever they're in trouble or want you to help them or when they've been 'left out by their friends'. Once they're outta the trouble, or when they have 'new friends' then you're also outta the picture. It wouldn't hurt if they just left, but it hurts like hell when they leave and backstab you to other friends.. which indirectly made me realize what a 'pendendam' I actually am to those involved who laughed behind my back when no one thought of asking my side of the story! Gile tul hahah, I scare myself by how teruk I am.. serius! I have my little revenges now and then for at least now, I don't feel THAT guilty heheh.. *bertaubat la Ayu oiiiiii!!!*

Oh, sudah terkeluar topic!

Anyway, guess why he contacted me? Yup, he wanted to borrow more money. Luckily (for me, but maybe unluckily for him!), as some of you know, there was something wrong with my pay from November to January where I didn't receive any payment so truthfully I told him about it. But I also made the wrong step (or maybe it was a blessing in disguise, given that this was why I started despising him!) of telling him I was expecting my cheque the next week.

Guess what he did the next week? Hahah, he asked me if I had received my cheque so he could borrow my money..

Okay, this was a bit too far! I mean, who in their right mind whould ask their friend about their pay so they could borrow some.. aiyakkk! Tak ke kite akan malu nak buat camtu? By then, I was a bit annoyed.. dah la cheque tak siap and Bendahari cam ampeh when we called asking about my pay (those in USM know WHO this Bendahari girl I'm talking about is!), then this guy dengan suke hati dia je tanye pasal my gaji.. gile ke?

Once again I told him I didn't have any.. but this cycle repeated itself again a few days later and by then, I was quite pissed but I just gritted my teeth and told him as gently as ever that I DON'T HAVE ANY EXTRA MONEY!

Then, last week I finally got my 3 months pay.. yeay!! Terase macam orang kaye haha, but I reminded myself of the RM2541 fee (as Puga had quoted!) for PhD. Mase membayar hutang haha.. I had borrowed from Mama (Ohhh, sungguh malu!) so I was glad to pay her back. I also paid all the house rents, bills and bla.. bla.. bla..

On Friday, 'H' smsed me again asking if he could borrow money. Like I said, I was already pissed with him but since I had promised (Ohhh, Ayu sedang menipu.. sebenarnye bagi dia pinjam just to get him off my back and outta my sight as I was already dreading sms or calls from him by then..), I told him I can only give him RM100. (I actually told him I couldn't give him much since I wanted to pay my fees but guess what, when I told him about it, he just asked me to give him as much as I can.. gile nak marah time tu!)

The next morning, while watching cartoons (theehee..), he smsed again asking when was I gonna give him the money. Okay, by then I was almost swearing (sib baik my swearing vocab masih kecil hehe..). I mean, I had classes on Saturdays practically the whole day, from 2pm to 10pm with little breaks in the middle so I didn't like him to 'disturb' my free morning. I replied saying I was in the middle of teaching (see how much I'm lying hahah!) and just for the heck of it, I decided to only send the money to him that night AFTER my class <--Ohh, Ayu sgt jahat!

However, when my second class ended at 6.30pm, I was suddenly filled with this guilt so I decided to go send the money to him right there and then. Besides, he had told me he didn't have money for lunch..

And guess again: Where was he when I called?

Megamall!

TAKDE DUIT NAK MAKAN LUNCH TP LEH JALAN GI MEGAMALL!!!! Tampo jugak budak ni kang!!

I became even more pissed and my voice had already rised a pitch when I told him I was gonna pass the money to Salimin and I ended the call.

I called Salimin and told him I wanted to meet him to pass some money to H and to my suprise, Salimin suddenly drilled me on why was I giving money to this boy. At the same time, H smsed me and asked my if I told Salimin about him borrowing my money and now, I was beginning to be a bit suspiscious..

The first thing Salimin told me when I saw him was, "Klau dia nak pinjam duit akak, saya tanak tolong passkan duit tu.."

I must've stared into his face as he repeated what he said and asked me, "Betul kan, dia nak pinjam duit akak?"

Then Salimin (Bless his soul.. and thank God for making H not in the campus so I'd have to see Salimin.. who btw, is VERY close to H) told me that H has been borrowing money from so many people but never paid back. Some of them have even graduated and he always avoids them. Even the students who are still here, he'd either avoid them at the hostel or not answer their calls when they phone him.. and according to Salimin, this has been happening for ages.

I was suprised.. and a bit hurt! I mean, I guess since he couldn't borrow from his friends, he decided to ask me, with hopes that I hadn't heard about him..

In the end, I still gave RM50 to Salimin, just in case that guy really didn't have any money to eat but Salimin was reluctant as he had already started to mistrust H and I also felt the same way but I was kinda afraid as I had promised him, and I don't like people breaking their promise to me, do I..

But the next morning, Salimin told me that he only gave H RM30. This was because, when H came to see him, he decided to try and advice this guy but it fell on deaf ears so he didn't wanna give the whole amount at H.

As expected, H asked me why he didn't receive what I had promised him huhu.. and as I know about myself, I'm a coward when it comes to confronting people so at first I pretended to not notice it but when he kept asking, I decided, what the heck, its not as if I'm face to face with him anyway, so..

I told him the truth.. of what I had intended and what had happened and what I heard and how frustrated me and Salimin were (Salimin just got to know about this a few days before me..) when we heard about him. It was a long sms but I managed to sum it all up pretty good..

..or so I thought!

Know what he replied? "Ooo, so kirenye RM30 je la ye? Berape yg akak bg kat diorg tu sbnrnye? Diorg bg saya RM30 je"

Lailahailallah! Ya Allah, sabarkan lah hatiku yang sudah hilang batas antara bersabar dan nak mengamuk!!

I didn't reply at all after that.. but a few hours later, he sent me another sms stating that at least he hadn't done that to me yet!!! Gile ape, nak tunggu dia dah buat ke baru nak suruh saya menyesal.. memang tak paham bahase betul la budak tu!!! He then told me the other kids didn't pick up the phone when he wanted to ask their accounts la apa la.. berbagai² alasan yg sungguh tidak dapat diterime pakai..

And he had the guts to ask for the remaining money I had promised!!!

Ohhhh.. terase sgt bodoh melibatkan diri ngan org² camni.. when will I learn?

Sib baik ade Salimin..

Happy Ending - Mika

Happy Ending – Mika

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

A Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love
I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
To live the rest of our life,
But not together