Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say).. lagu chumel!!

*Cerite terselit: Last week time ni dok bwk budak² panjat to the PBA waterfall in Botanical Gardens.. alaaaa, rindu la pulak kat diorggg :(*

Yeay.. dah tau dah lagu ape yg dicarik².. Thanx to my student Irfan yg kate dia otai lagu ;p

So I was wrong, it WAS Lady Gaga hehe.. mane nak tau, didn't sound like her type of song pun. And suda pun dpt download lagu nih but even though dah dgr berkali², I still don't understand the lyrics :D Aci tak?

Juga got to know I salah.. not 'chili² boom²' (mcm nak cili mulut org la plak kan klau dia nyanyi cenggitu) but the cuter 'cherry² boom²'. Sedaaaaap skitt hehe..

Cherry cherry Boom boom
GaGa

Boy, we've had a real' good time
And I wish you the best on your way
Eh eh
I didn't mean to hurt you
I never thought we'd fall out of place
Eh eh, hey ey

I have something that I love long-long
But my friends keeping telling me that something's wrong
Then I met someone

And babe, there's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh
There's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh
I wish you'd never looked at me that way
Eh eh, eh eh
There's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh

Not that I don't care about you
Just that things got so complicated
Eh eh
I met somebody cute and finally got each other
And that's funny
Eh eh, hey ey

I have something that I love long-long
But my friends keeping telling me that something's wrong
Then I met someone

And babe, there's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh
There's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh
I wish you'd never looked at me that way
Eh eh, eh eh
There's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh

(Eh eh, eh eh, eh eh...)

I have something that I love long-long
But my friends keeping telling me that something's wrong
Then I met someone

And babe, there's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh ehEh eh, eh eh
There's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh
I wish you'd never looked at me that way
Eh eh, eh eh
There's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh
I wish you'd never looked at me that way
Eh eh, eh eh
There's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh

(Cherry cherry, boom boom)
Eh eh, hey ey
Oh yeah
All I can say is eh eh

Another award :)

Syitah.. akhirnye abis gak kak Yong jawab mende ni. Ingt kene tunggu sok luse baru leh wat hehe.. thanx for the award yaaa.. sowi, kak yong tak pasan laaa Syitah bg ni :)

Nyatakan 5 fakta menarik tentang si pemberi award ini

1. Adik ipar tak jadi.. Oppsss, marah Ikram nnt klau tau kak Yong announce mende nih haha :p Tp dah mcm adik sendiri dah pun even till now

2. Kenal dari dia darjah 4 kot and I was, what? In matriculation time tu?

3. Muke ala² Arab sesat :p

4. A great artist.. masih tunggu bile la dia nak lukis kak Yong dia nih :D *hint²*

5. Sape dpt dia bertuah oooo.. rajin gi masjid/surau nih. Asal kitorg gi je, mesti ade dia.. :)

Setiap blogger mestilah menyatakan 10 fakta atau hobi diri sndiri sebelum memilih

Ni yg malas skit nih.. aci tak recycle bende² yg penah ckp dlm entry lepas²?

1. Sy bukan org yg kidal.. cume tgn kanan dan tgn kiri sy terbalik dari org len :p

2. Spt dikatekan dlm entry lepas, sgt cepat attach ngan org even klau baru kenal. Reason why my brothers hate me whenever they break up with anyone sbb I usually side on their (ex)girlfriends and not them haha.. Hambik korg, sape suh kenalkan ngan kak Yong korg nih hahah :p

3. Dlm kete klau drive sensorg, suke nyanyi smbil dok feel sorg².. pastu termalu bile pasan org kiri kanan dok sengih je tgk or bile pegi kelas and student ckp, "Cikgu, aritu sy nmpk cikgu nyanyi sambil nari² dlm kete" hehe..

4. Mase sekolah org panggil 'beluting' (Thanx Ami for correcting me on the right term! :p) sbb comot semedang.. and fast forward to 16 years later, I haven't changed a bit *malu*

5. P.E.N.D.E.K! Tapi pasan cam tinggi.. (150cm tu tinggi hape?)

6. Tak penah outgrow the 'saya-awak' used during primary. Sampai skrg sy ckp camtu with rakan sebaya and even with my students. I strongly suspect that I'll never learn to talk using 'aku-hang' or 'aku-kau' so Baizurah, you can stop crossing your fingers :p

7. Also never outgrew being ticklish (my worst enemies are people who tickle me ;p) and the tendency to shriek like perempuan gedik everytime I'm suprised (and I get suprised VERY easily tau.. sgt malu!) Not that I don't try but the shriek comes out before my head says STOP and then sy akan sgt termalu sbb mcm sgt gedik je rase!

8. Actually masih pemalu hahah.. I know some people say I'm bubbly (to MY suprise actually) and friendly but I'm actually intimidated by people I meet for the first (second, third, fourth, fifth bla.. bla..) time. Sbb tu some people might think sy ni memilih kawan kot sbb ngan people I've known for quite some time, I talk a lot tp ngan org yg baru jumpe (or dah lame jumpe but jarang jumpe), I'm always at loss for words so I usually avoid looking at them coz I'm sooooo afraid they expect me to initiate a conversation with them :D

9. A pessimist.. always expecting the worst! Teruk kan?

1o. Always tatau nak jawab ape everytime tagged to write thing about me.. but then when I'm idly doing something else, I could list down hundreds of new thing about myself haha..

Anda perlu memilih 10 penerima award dan describe tentang mereka.

1. Bai 'Sentot' coz she's a stay@home mum now :p
2. Misa sbb blog dia berabuk hehe..
3. Arep, jugak atas alasan yg same. Sile² abg Korea..
4. Hairil.. kate nak beli vacum utk blog?!
5. Watie.. my dormate in form 2 and classmate for 3 years :)
6. Liza.. who has an entertaining blog!
7. Jida.. just because I wanna give this to her :)
8. Dzul.. Dr Gigi turned educator yg suke jjln merate pelusuk donia
9. Adi&Ana (kene buh name sekali niii sbb bakal 'Two become One' <--nyanyi ala² Spice Girl dolu²)

10. Ayeen coz I miss her!

Chili² Boom².. New Neighbours and another award

Yesterday when coming back from my tuition class, I was listening to the radio and a song came up. It reminded me of my school girl days when Britney Spears was stil made of sugar and spice and all things nice. Sgt bubblegummy..

I didn't catch the title nor did I catch the singer.. tp paling chumel was the chili² boom².. and the singer punye suare like Lady Gaga BUT I don't think its her sbb tak mcm her type of song pun sbb song ni cam bdk sekolah nye sweet style hehe.. so who knows this song, please tell me eh.. I want to listen to it again :)

*******

Hmm, most of you have nver heard me complaining about my next door (left side) neighbour. The Mrs is okay as well as the kids, its the Mr I have a problem with. Eversince with kak Shima and kak Kathy, through the time Yun and Elie were my housemates saaaaaaaaampai la Rusya, this pak cik like always je carik pasal. Especially time wife dia takde.. so I did what I do best, ignore and avoid him!

Earlier this month, my neighbours pindah tatau pi mane and I was HAPPY! Hahah, jahat nye jiran. Takde la, I just wasn't comfortable with the pak cik so I was relieved and tak sabar to know who my new neighbours were (I assumed it'd be another family since the pakcik had renovated his house cam lawa la jugak, takkan dia nak sewa kat student je kot kan?)

Dengan seronoknye citer kat Sharil sbb dia penah kene marah ngan pak cik tu. Sharil bising sampai anak dia tak leh tido katenye, padehal satu school tau Sharil ckp cam dlm kain.. AND mlm tu anak² pakcik tu bukan ade kat umah, ikut wife dia gi mane tah. Tah pa pe tah pak cik tu. Mcm² la kesimpulan dibuat sbb nye pakcik tu pindah tgh malam buta.. serius!! Hahah.. tp I tau dia bkn lari dari byr utang la sbb itu umah dia sendiri.. hehe, saje je nak tumbuh tanduk skali skale kaaaannn (Ni nnt Irfan kate la, "Cikgu seronok je kan ngate org!")

Anyway, 2 days ago, I noticed 2 cars in front of the house. Then I heard a gelak ala² penjahat kat drama² melayu from the house. Gulp! Apekah ini?!?!

Then semalam, I realized, bukan 2 cars but 4 cars and at least one motorcycle. Aiyak! Upenye kate Arep (jugak jiran baru sy tp belah kanan umah, pakcik tu nye umah belah kiri), budak² 'bujangan' (Arep nye word) yg duk situ. Ramai la pulak tuuuu..

Whaaaatt?!?!

Alaaa.. chek tak sokaaa! Pasni tak leh nak ngelat, kene bertudung litup ngan sempurna je even if nak kuar amik bende dlm kete (klau tak, pakai campak je selendang atas kepale). Mesti jadik anak dara sunti je tak kuar² umah..

..and before anyone comment kate 'Takkan tak suka kot', for once I ngaku I dah tua. Takde nye nak gedik sonok duk sblh umah bujang reramai when I live alone in my rented house. Sgt tak selesa, okay! I'd rather have the weird pakcik now :(

Klau Arep and the gang takpe la jugak, leh je nak buat perangai sembg tepi pagar style makcik² bergossip ptg² but when its people I dunno.. alaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, tak suke!!!

*******

Alaaa.. award tu upenye kene tulis bende haha.. malas la nak compose. Next entry je la ek Syitah heheh.. :p Nnt kak Yong wat, k

Cikgu/Teacher/Miss/kak Ayu ♥sayang♥ korg sumer :p

I didn't actually plan to stay up tonight. In fact, I was planning to retire early as tomorrow (or lets just say 'in the morning' which is just a few hours je lagi) I have plans for a girls day out with Bart yang akan disertakan sesi keluh mengeluh hehe..

Tp telah mendapat call dari Remy and lepas seronok comparing this year and last years Sedim Expedition, I found that I wasn't THAT sleepy anymore. So I did what I usually do when I can't sleep.. Facebooking!

Still, tetibe terase nak bercakap pasal something that went through my mind today..

I haven't updated on the Sedim thingey but my friends would know, I enjoyed it (sbb klau I tak enjoy, konpem dah ade entry ngate kaaaan haha..). Before going for the program, I was already certain I was gonna enjoy it because of one thing: I thought I was sick of my students!

Noooooooooo.. bkn sy tak suke student² sy (Sorry Irfan.. do not misinterpret me okay). Its just that this year I've been handed classes from form 1 to form 5 in 3 centres. I have classes EVERY night from Monday to Saturday plus another class on Saturday afternoon. And eventhough I have free Sundays, sometimes, I just feel like I need a break from these hormone-filled kids.

As a rule, I hate missing my classes but the oppurtunity to miss classes during the Sedim thingey was sooooooooooo tempting..

..and I took it!

..and I enjoyed it!

..and I thought 'How could I ever enjoy my classes again after being with 50 cute 10~11 year olds?'

(I forgot last year I went through the same cycle jugak hahah..)

..and somehow, I DIDN'T enjoy my last two classes after my come back. Not that I showed that feeling to my students laaa.. kecik ati deme nnt. But I just couldn't feel excited enough..

Then today, I had my most patience-challenging class.. my fifth formers! (Once again, sorry Irfan haha.. but you understand, don't you?) Even the thought of the class made me feel sooo tired. Don't get me wrong, I love this class the most, in fact. Its just that these kids sometimes.. I dunno.. they just drain me a bit more than my other classes, I guess.

A typical day in this class would see the girls all huddled in the front seats. The most talkative ones right in front of me that sometimes I can't hear myself think. The okay² ones sit in the middle where I have a hardworking girl, a cheeky girl and a never-stop-trying girl all in the second row. The third row usually has these very quiet girls who are afraid of asking (and sometimes they drain me the most cause I really wanna help them but how can I help them when I dunno what is it that they don't understand?)

Then the fourth row is filled by my two favourite male-students (who ask and answer enough questions to make my day) and another two quiet boys (kire balance la kot ek?) Then the last row at the back is filled with intelligent 'clowns' who still think they have a long way to go before their SPM. Diorg ni pandai² tau, but sgt la suke main!

I guess its because this class has such a wide range of diversity that drains me so much. There were times I just wanted to cry cause I KNOW their great potential but I can't seem to make them see it themselves. I don't wana give up on them but sometimes I just get tired..

So there I was, comparing how I felt looking after lil' kids and big kids.. and ashamedly feeling sorry for myself. Somehow, in the midst of teaching them Probability II and Bearings, I found myself looking at each face in front of me..

I would never be able to put all my students in one group, cause they're all so different from each other and whilst pondering on this thought, I realized.. "Gosh! We're heading into July now" That means, I'll only be teaching them for, what? 3 more months?

You might think I was rejoicing with joy then, huh? But you're wrong..

I suddenly felt.. I dunno.. I had this huge lump in my throat then and realized..

I'M GONNA MISS THEM!

Despite how down they sometimes make me feel.. how worthless and how wrong they make me feel I am for them, I realized, I really do love them!

I love how they make me laugh. I love how they act when they finally think my lessons are worth their time. I love how they sometimes trick me into doing things. I love it when they're happy. I love it when the girls giggle around me and I smile when I remember how some of the boys apologize when they realize they've just stepped outta the line.. and I just love knowing I have this big box of memories inside my heart that revolves around them!

I guess these past few weeks, I forgot how it felt to be a confused teenager (not that they'd admit la kan.. just like all of us at that age)

Suddenly, I don't want time to move on. I don't want the next 3 months to pass as quickly like the past 6 months have and I realized, I've done something my friends have told me not to..

I've grown attached to these kids!

Thats one problem I've never been able to overcome. No matter how many people tell me I grow attached and love people around me too easily, I still do it. And even though I've been hurt because of this, I've never learnt!

But how can I? Watching the whole lot of them in class just now just made me love them so much more. I mean, its not as if they've even harmed me or anything kan.. they are just being their usual teenage selves. And I can't help feeling a bit guilty of wanting a break from them..

*sigh*

And its not just to them. I still remember my first students who called me 'kak Ayu' right till now. I still see them and they always stop by to talk with me whenever we accidently meet or something. In fact, some of them are still constantly texting me eventhough their last class with me was 4 years ago.

And I still remember my first batch of students who called me 'Miss Ayu'. Most of whom I don't teach anymore but still remember me and still make me smile whenever I see them.

As for my current student who call me both Teacher Ayu and Cikgu Ayu (I kinda miss being called Miss Ayu since I don't think I'm what you'd say 'layak' to be called Cikgu/Teacher), how can I forget them if I see them week after week, huh?

So, ignoring what everyone else says, I'll just let myself get attached to them if it happens. If it hurts me, I'm the one to feel it and nobody else.. but the reward in the end is more than enough! :)

So to my students (only one reads my blog pun bile dia rajin kaaaann, Irfan), I love you all! Muaaaaahhhhhhsss!! ♥♥♥

From Leong and Chipunk :)

Yes, I know.. I just posted an entry tadi and now I'm posting another one thee hee.. but I just got 2 v.nice suprises and can't resist sharing them..

First one from Leong. I had helped her (sampai tak tido malam oooo..) correcting a students thesis. Actually tak kisah sgt pun since my own research cam on freeze mode haha.. so what better way than to while the time away kan? At least I can brush up on my scientific writing.

Besides, my MSc pun I owe a lot to her.. so I didn't actually mind. But somehow she still felt like she needed to show her appreciation to me so she bought something and had text me telling me about it. I had made up my mind to return it to her since I NEVER gave her anything after my MSc. But when I saw it..

..alamak! I fell in love with it laaaa.. tak dapat nak pulangkan hahah..

Sangat chumel! Goes with my bag and purse that kak Shima, kak Kathy and kak Zura had bought me a few years ago for my birthday. Except yg diorg punye is light beige in colour, and this time around I got something darker in colour.. but still chumel!

Thanx Leong :) :) :)

Next one is while blog hopping. Suda brape hari tak blog hopping and rase sgt gatal tangan clicking around in my usual blogs. Then I noticed Aida a.k.a Chipunk (sy sorg je kan panggil awak Aida? Heheh..) asking me to go to her blog.

Upenye she gave me an award.. yeay! Thanx Aida :) Sy sgt suke..

Lets Talk About Food :D

Yummy! My favourite topic hahah..

Actually, hati nak update pasal Sedim tu, but gambaq tak mntk lagi from abg Fauzi nor Mazlan. Nanti la.. arini mau ckp pasal makan..

(Ni cam ala² dok kempunan roti kirai jek lagi niihhh.. uwaaaaaa.. mane mau carik?!?!)

These last few weeks, ade je bende tingin nak makan. Before the demam roti kirai, was the demam sambal tempe. Tetibe jek, I felt like, by hook or by crook, kene gak carik. So thus, started my search for tempe. Dan sgt unlucky for me, sy tak jumpe pun.

Gi pasar malam Jumaat pun takde, gi Pt Buntar market pun tadek, pasar malam ari Ahad pun yilek. Gi Billion pun takde.. aisehhh! Hati dah rase pilu menusuk kalbu dah niii..

Last² tu, one day tu after beberape hari tak tido buat module for the expedition, I decided nak jugak² tgk Night At The Museum (sian sy kan, sejak kelas tiap malam ni, sungguh la jarang dpt pi tgk wayang..) so sesenyap je la pegi on a Thursday morning.. aci?

Anyway, the show was at 12.05pm and since I had arrived around 11.30am, I went around Jusco just to look around and wonders of wonders, I found this..

Yeay! Jumpe jugak tempe.. though mahal! Huh! Usually at the pasar malam you can get it at Rm1 per piece.. ni dah la harge mahal skit, RM1.50 (tu pun berkire ke, Ayu?), the size was also only two thirds of the one I could get from the pasar malam..

Aishhh, takpe la.. janji dapat!

But as my luck (or the lack of it) goes, mase dok goreng the thick (my favourite type) slices of tempe, kak Nab called. Dok sembang punye sembang then tetibe terbau something yg sungguh sy tidak mahu terjadi.. hangus!!!

Alaaaaaaaaaaaa.. sib baik ade skit lagi.. but the sad news is, the first batch tu more than half of what I had.. adeh! Takde rezeki jawab nye..

Still, I finally had my sambal tempe.. nyum²! Ilang kempunan :)

*******

Yesterday pulak, dengan alasan masih penat (Lousy excuse.. I know!), I decided to skip 'school' and stay home. But 4 days full of activities left me restless and a bit nyesal didn't go to school so once again I rummaged through the kitchen cabinets and found some dried fruit..

Jeng.. jeng.. jeng..

Teke ape sy buat pagi semalam? :)

Heheh.. and this is the final product of it! :D

My very first fruit cake heheh.. A bit funny though since I'm NOT a fan of cakes tp bulan ni je dah 2 types of cake I tried. So smlm since Shahril pun dtg nak dengan our usual activity of 'bertukar juadah', I decided to cut a portion for his family. Then, Arep plak text saying he was in front of my house (nak pindah barang kaaan, ni la my new neighbour) so cut another big portion for him and his friends (smlm ade Rashid and Kole sekali) and have another portion to give to HiTEG.

Selesai! Heheh..

Still, kene brush up my cake making skills sbb gile manis my fruitcake though Mama dah pesan kene kurangkan gule.. Takpe². Practice makes perfect, right?

*******

Haaa, ape pulak ye 'pertukaran juadah' yang terjadi? Tadaaaaa..

Shahril was trying Mas's recipe for cheesecake but he wanted to use kiwis instead. Yeay! Dapat rase.. nyum²! Ayu and cheesecakes memang no complaints hahah.. Ade lagi skit in my fridge.

*******

Now sy nak pk, camne la pulak sy nak dpt my roti kirai ngan kari daging extra kentang.. :D

Just to show I'm still alive haha.. (as if anyone cares!)

Yup! Came back alive and kicking from the Sg Sedim - Sg Pinang Expedition. Was meaning to do an update on THAT but just not in the mood. Plus, I don't have the picture for it anyway.

Had a wonderful time.. hari² tanpe memikirkan PhD ku yang sudah lame ditinggalkan ini huhuh.. I loved and hated the kids all at the same time :) But this morning, I got to wake up late.. yeay! Hahah.. no more waking up earlier that usual. Still, I kinda miss the noise..

..AND my whole body has been screaming in protest. Courtesy of an unfit me. Gile tul, sungguh lame tak exercise so padan la jugak ngan muke kan. Even today pun, my legs are still a bit sore from the 'panjat'ing and 'turun'ing from various levels of the land. But haven't felt better in months.. so thats ok.. I guess.

Anyway, as I had last year here, of course la I will update. Tunggu photos from the cameras assigned to us (Yes, each group got their own camera.. gile byk duit deme nih!). But takde la my photos hahah.. sy kan pemalu org nye tak suke amik gambo. Besides, sgt can harap to abg Fauzi to take my pictures at my worst moments haha.. tunggu je la gambo from him and from Mazlan la kot nih. Tgk le camne..

Anyway, I'm off to class (Such bliss.. I missed class for three days and I can't believe I actually enjoyed missing class hahah.. cikgu yang tuang kelaih, apa nak jadi niiii?!?!)

P/S
To Bai, Bart, Misa and Ami.. sy belajaq expression baru laaa.. 'panaih lit lit'. Believe it or not, budak JOHOR yang ajo me this expression hahah..

Blog bersawang ini.. :p

Ye, saya tau.. blog sy bersawang giler.. mahu diupdate tetapi tiade mase lagikkkk.. ni pun baru pas tolong bebudak ni angkat barang for tomorrow!

Ade ape ye esok?

Heheh.. tomorrow would be the 2nd time for our Sg Sedim-Sg Pinang Expedition. Tak tido sy siapkan modul untuk budak² ni.. tp hasil akhir, sy puas hati. Sbb? In the midst of helping Leong correct her student's thesis (yg almost a nightmare itself.. reminds me of my own thesis-writing period), helping Dr Taksiah with the IBS booklet and my owm serabutness, I got to produce a 50-page module hehe.. Tahun lepas around 30 pages but tahun ni dapat la tambah. Thanx to Sha (yg contributed a few pages), Arep (yg help me with ideas and lagu), Rahim (yg bg sumbangan idea disaat² kritikal) and Amir (tukang lukis dari tahun lepas lagik). Gile oooo, 2 mlm tak tido woooo..

Anyway, yesterday was the final preparations for it and arini relax sit, only a few lil' things. Then tomorrow morning will see us going to SKPJ to pick up the kids and thus start a 4-day expedition like last year.

This time around, we have 'junior facilitators' who were previous participants of the project last year. I was the one to distribute the groups and I didn't realize that I got both budak² yg bes hehe.. yeayyy!

Anyway, I'll be away from the PC for 4 days..

No Neopets..

No Pet Society..

No Travian..

No Restaurant City..

No Barn Buddy..

No blog..

*gulp*

I hope its worth it!!

Roti apekah itu?

Actually I'm a bit 'too bz' today. A few tasks yang tak siap² tapi kene bg siap jugak like helping Leong with the thesis checking ( I soooooooooooooo understand her now hahah..) yg tidak lah ku fahami ngape tak siap², then the Sedim Expedition module yg jugak tak siap² (ketua fasi nye sgt malas kah?) and the IBS report. Suda juling mateku ini..

Anyway, as in last week, I'm still craving for roti kirai so I had put it in my status then. Today, I had added just another word in front of last weeks status. "MASIH tingin makan roti kirai sama kari daging with extra kentang"

Then tadi while going through my YM friend list, I saw these status :D

Ami: Ayu, Penang Languang Class: kirai = jala

and

Bart: Roti sorai laaaaaa..

Hahaha.. couldn't resist putting those 'messages' up here hahah..

P/S Picture above is Googled.. NOT what I got. Lagipun itu kan kari ayam, I wan kari daging.. Still tatau nak cari mane wpun Bart dah hint pasar pagi kat Sunway ade jual yg sedap :) And the latest update on Bart's status

Ayu.. Meh saya belanja roti sorai..

Absent Minded.. again!

(This post was published to Ayu's Piece of Mind.. at 2:43:27 AM 6/10/2009) <-- Yeay! Jadik hehe..

Here I am in school for another morning. Actually, its quite fun haha.. WHEN I have things to do that I can manage without making a fool outta myself (which fyi, my thesis does to me! Even opening a Word file for my thesis makes me feel stupid haha..)

Sebenaq nya tgh ‘perak buiyyy’ ni <-- lame attempt at ckp Penang hehe.. I just discovered I can publish my blog from my Word file trus dengan satu click sahaje so entry ini adelah experiment ye kot jadik ke tak :D

Anyway, this morning I did a somehow stupid thing la jugak.. uhhh, kesian mereke yg tidak bersalah huhu..

I’ve always thought that I’m a night person. During my MSc writing stage, I could only write in the wee hours of the morning (midnight right to Subuh). I’d only drag myself home at Subuh, perform my solah THEN take my beauty sleep (still 6 hours la jugak so I can’t possibly call it a nap kan?). Tengahari come back to school but just to check if Dr Wan has checked what I had submitted (Yes! It was on a DAILY basis.. sungguh rajin supervisor ku itu hehe..), which he usually has. I’m a bit amazed though, he was the then Dean and VERY busy but still sempat check my thesis.. magic ape tah dia pakai! And its not the sekali-lalu type of checking. He’d notice a missing letter or the slightest misspelt word. Scary!!

I was so into this ‘nite-mode’ thingey that Lie called me Kupu² Malam, oblivious to its meaning. He had actually thought it meant ‘orang yang kuat kerje w/pun di waktu malam’. I was horrified when he called me THAT hahah.. When I asked him if he knew what it meant, pecah perut rase nak gelak hahah.. baper kali dia mntk maaf sbb he thought he had offended me. Ai laaaa, Lie Lieeeeee heheh..

Back to yesterday. I finally finished checking Younes’s thesis around Subuh. I was a bit sleepy then and was only thinking of my bed back home so I quickly emailed Leong and Younes and told them about the file. As I clicked ‘send’, I could imagine my katil and bantal memanggil² so I switched off my pc, went home and performed solah before I just sorta ‘melted’ into my bed J My phone was switched of and I had a blissful 5-hour solid sleep, feeling satisfied that Younes would be able to do his corrections and send his thesis by the time I woke up..

..but was I SO wrong!

I woke up and noticed 16 missed calls from Younes. I also got two text messages. One from Younes and another from Leong asking me to send ‘Chapter 5’. Still groggy from sleep, I replied telling her it was all in one file and I had not separated the files. Then, Younes called me and OMG!

I was cursing myself when I put down the phone. I had actually sent an empty attachment-less email to both of them this morning. And while they tried to contact me to tell me about this, I was sleeping peacefully at home. Kesian Younes, a wasted morning for him just because of my stupid mistake (Ironically, one of the songs I was listening to while correcting his thesis was Gareth Gates Anyone of Us (Stupid Mistake)! Duhhhh..)

Sangat malu huhu..

Apologized again and again to Leong and especially to Younes since he was planning to finish all corrections ASAP as he wanted to go back to Iran also ASAP. Luckily for me, they know how absent minded I am so they understood my honest mistake! Still, sy sgt malu bile ingat balik.. rase mcm manusia yang tak bertanggungjawab langsung.

When I sent the file for the second time (tipu.. the EMAIL ye la second time but the file baru first time la sbb tak attach pagi tadi), I made sure I had attached the correct file!

*Sheesh* When weill I grow outta this clumsiness pun tatau!

Entry jumble-mumble hehe..

Its 1am and I'm still in school..

Hehe.. actually I just arrived around 11pm tadi. Came home after tuition and realized my whole housing area as well as my jirans in Taman Sempadan were in the dark. Huh, ape tadek letrik niiiii.. I wanna watch TV!

I solat² and trus head to school. Had some work to do pun but was planning on coming after midnight. Oh well, what does a two-hour differance make pun kan? (TWO favourite TV shows.. thats what!!)

I've been reading and correcting Younes's thesis for quite a while now and wanna do some non-academic reading/writing.. thus, this jumbled-up entry. So bear with me please..

..eleeee Ayu. Macam la org bace sgt blog awak ni!! Heheh..

*******

Last week was a 'serabut' week for me *sigh*

Was insomniac and lazy (though thats is NOT a suprise la kan) and just wanted to stay and home and sulk :D

However, one 'perk' in the week was a PARCEL! Yeay! I ♥ parcels.. and don't lie! Who doesn't love them kaaaannnn :)

Fared was the one who told me about it right before our meeting. I quickly went to abg Joe with this large sengih on my face and before I could ask him, he handed me this box..

Ape ek?

Yeay! My mini chopper akhirnye sampai! :D

Actually, I won't waste money on these kinda things. But it so happened that my Bonuslink points were about to expire. I browsed through some things and found this item to be on the 'points-knockdown' list. After going through the other things I could redeem from my points, I decided the chopper was the most 'attractive' item on my list hehe..

Anyway.. jom tgk BILE la Ayu nak gune mende alah ni kan (Still dlm kotak kat umah hahahah..)

*******

As I said earlier, last week was full of I-cannot-sleep nights. On Wednesday night, I was at wits end trying to force myself to sleep dan sungguh tak berjaye. Ended up opening the fridge looking for an early morning (Read: 2am) snack (mane tak tembam!)

Anyway, as I was trying to figure out what to put in my sandwich, my eyes fell on the tub of butter I got free a few weeks ago for buying some cream cheese. Then I started counting the eggs I had in my fridge. A little while later, I found the bottle of Sunquick orange that was partly hidden on the kitchen counter.. and finally I located the self-raising flour I had bought earlier.

C'mon, reading all those ingredients, everyone should already know what I did that morning! Right?!?!

Tadaaaa..

Heheh, Mama's not-so-secret Orange Cake a.k.a ngelat-gune-sunquick-orange cake :D

THIS is my first time baking a cake (baked cheesecake aritu tak kire) When I was smaller, Mama loved making cakes to the point I was bored of it hahah.. Cakes NEVER interest me, I was more a cookie gal! Any cake Mama did was finished by the family but I'd only take a wee bit of it.. sometimes I didn't even take a bite. My friends also loved Mama's cake, but not me. Not that I didn't like the taste, I was just NOT a cake-person..

..the only cake I'd eat was the honey muffins I used to make. Tu pun I got tired of it quickly but didn't mind making them whenever there was a request. I loved baking them.. but to eat them was another story altogether.

Anyway, that morning I suddenly remembered this cake. Though Mama was the one usually whipping it up, I sometimes helped so ingat la jugak sikit kan but had to confirm the measurement of the ingredients with Mama first (bertuah punye anak tanye soklan camtu kul 2 pagi!)

Still, kali ni ade beze. If dulu I used an electric mixer, kali ni I pukul gune hand mixer je, babe! Hahah.. baru tau penat lelah! (Kunun, padehal tak mampu nak beli electric mixer :p) Kirenye my hand mixer tu (which incidently I also got from redeeming Bonuslink points) mmg berjase sungguh laaaaa..

Though I had lost touch in the baking cake department but the cake turned out okay.. yeay!

And guess what: Since I had only used half a tub of butter, I made another batch of cake mix and baked another cake while the first cake cooled on the rack! Hahaha.. mati la nak ngabiskan hehe..

After Subuh, a considerably sufficient time for the cakes to cool down, I was happy but pening on WHO to give the cakes. I had cut them into quarters (quite large quarters jugak tuh) so I had 8 foil-wrapped cakes.. eh silap! 1 quarter I took for myself la kan hehe.. (though tadi bwk ke school jamu kawan² :p)

So I had another 7 la kann and quickly decided to give one part each to Shahril, Lah, Pojie, kak Hafsah, kak Jah, Ija and HiTEG. Selesai masalah heheh..

Hmm.. maybe I WOULD try other cakes lepas nih hehe..

*******

Tadi sy lapo nak makan nasik tomato. Sy pun pegi Bamboo Inn.. tp sy nmpk satu bende yg lazaaaaaaaattt.. apekah itu?

Jeng.. jeng..

Heheh.. Yong Tau Foo Taiping! Kak Nurul, recipe diberi blum try pastu pi beli kat kedai plakkk.. Aparaaa Ayu ni, mntk recipe bkn main lagik kan kak Nurul :D

Takpe², InsyaAllah akan di try.. takkan sia² kan usehe kak Nurul bg recipe kuah Yong Tau Foo kat sy :D

Dilemma esok..

Tadi sy bukak blog Liza dan terase sesuatu terkene batang idung sendiri. Suddenly serabut² kat kepale terungkai kejap. Senyum sy bace entry tazkirah Jumaat dia.. Thanx Liza! Wanna share the short and sweet message yg boleh dilihat di sini. (Sowi Liza, mntk kebenarnan tp tak tunggu dpt kebenaran dah link kan ke sini hehe..)

Anyway, esok adelah hari dilemma kenduri sy. Ade kenduri kak Ina di Pendang dan kenduri Azah yg thankfully dekat je ngan tmpt tuition. Still, masih ade masalah segan nak pi sbb takde gang :p

..tp klau tak pi, mana mau kutip berkat, Ayu?

Hehe.. dan jugak. Di Facebook tadi, bermsg ngan Nanie. Tetibe dia tanye pasal kenduri Syitah. Aiyak! Sy dah lupe, trus cari² kad jemputan Syitah yg sampai 2 minggu lepas..

Alamak! Sok jugak la pulak, kat BM. Sib baik dekat tp.. dah last minute camni, mmg tak bley nak cancel klas dah ni.. camne nih?

Semuanye 'adik-beradik' sy. Kak Ina 'kakak' sy dia USM (wpun school Kimia) dan Arun Lee. Teman bersembang between classes dan kawan gelak² cam budak².

Azah pun mcm adik dah. Lame dah kenal dia sejak cawangan Jawi tu di bukak. Lagipun rumah dia yg paling dekat, lebih afdhal kan?

Syitah plak 'adik' yg dah lame kenal. Masuk tahun ni dah 8 tahun dah kenal dia. Sejak dari dia jadi junior dlm KPKP saaaaaaaaaaaaampai la dia dah jadik lecturer kat UniMAP. Ape² project mesti join ngan dia and boleh kate tak pernah lost contact sejak dia abis kat USM nih..

Actually, dlm hati dah berbisik² tak mo gi sbb segan laaaa.. tatau nak ajak sape. Ija plak ade kenduri gak sok so tak leh la nak ajak dia..

Adoiiii..

Camne eh?

Ever, Ever After ~ Carrie Underwood

Lagu ini chumel hehe..

And whatever org nak kate pun, I like the movie and I love the song :D

Storybook endings, fairy tales coming true
Deep down inside we want to believe they still do
In our secretest heart, it's our favourite part of the story
Let's just admit we all want to make it too

Ever ever after
If we just don't get it our own way
Ever ever after
It may only be a wish away

Start a new fashion, wear your heart on your sleeve
Sometimes you reach what's real just by making believe
Unafraid, unashamed
There is joy to be claimed in this world
You even might wind up being glad to be you

Ever ever after
Though the world will tell you it's not smart
Ever ever after
The world can be yours if you let your heart
Believe in ever after

No wonder your heart feels it's flying
Your head feels it's spinning
Each happy ending's a brand new beginning
Let yourself be enchanted, you just might break through..

..to ever ever after
Forever could even start today
Ever ever after
Maybe it's just one wish away
Your ever ever after

(I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss)
Oh, for ever ever after

Alahaaaiii kawan² ku ini.. Pt 2

Status YM sy hari ni:
Heppp.. sy dh pandai ckp Penang laaaaaa :p Bart kata Idgham ja tak brapa nak betoi lagikkk hehe..

Beberape YM sy dpt arini hehe..

(1)
YuhyiJr: dia ka?
YuhyiJr: dh power ckp penang?
YuhyiJr: leh sembang ngan sy la nnt
Ayu : eleee
Ayu : cam terre
YuhyiJr: ai xkn tatau sy tau ckp penang <--Ni budok Nogoghi sesat :p

(2)
Mak Su: lawak la ayu ni
Ayu : lawak?
Ayu : nape
Ayu : huhuh
Mak Su: usaha sungguh nak dapat loghat penang
Mak Su: walaupun sudah lama menetap di penang
Mak Su: usaha mu sungguh mengkagumkan
Mak Su: teringin plak saya nak dengaq awak cakap penang
Ayu : tetibe nak sy rase nak gelak plak heheh..
Mak Su: tringin saya nak dengar idhgam ayu tu
Ayu : Mak Su tatau
Ayu : aritu
Ayu : lame dah la.. sblm boikot McD
Ayu : gi McD pastu sy mkn comot
Ayu : sy ckp la kat Bart.. 'Uish, beselemoihh'
Ayu : DIA PUNYA GELAK
Ayu : cettt
Ayu : sy dok rase cam dah ckp betoi dahhhh
Mak Su: ayu oi...perkataan dia..'belemoih'..la..
Mak Su: suka² ja tambah suku kata..
Mak Su: tapi tak pa...kesilapan boleh diperbaiki lg..
Ayu : erkkk?
Ayu : cehh
Ayu : patut la Bart gelak
Ayu : tadi Ami pun perbetoi sy
Ayu : sy kata blutin.. dia kata beluting

(3)
Ami: setelah bertahun2 mencuba akhirnya terer jgk ckp penang
Ami: ingat lg dak 'beluting?'
Ayu: beluting ke?
Ayu: ingt blutin
Ayu: gagagag
Ayu: salah gak la
Ami: wakakaka
Ayu: heheh
Ami: itu la yg di maksudkn ngan idgham

(4)
Alfy: Mmm.. sebelom ni awak cakap apa?

Heheh, I actually wanted to update on my midnite activity yesterday but I couldn't resist 'showing off' my CARING friends hahaha.. Rindu la pulak zaman² sekolah dulu ni :)

Alahaaaiii kawan² ku ini.. *updated*

Situasi 1: Kawen?

Status YM Ana beberape minggu lepas:
Sy nak kawen.. tp..

Status sy lepas tu:
Ana, sy pun nak kawen gak, tp tadek sape naaakkkk..

Tak sampai 5 minit, sy dpt beberape YM

(1)
Fahmi: say pponn nak kawennnn

(2)
Long: cian kat ayu
Long: nnt say a tolong cari okk

(3)
Azrul: ala siannya...
Azrul: bukan x de org nk kawen dgn awak
Azrul: tp awak tu yg mmilih cik ayu oooiiii

Dan status Ana selepas itu..
Ayu kene cari calonlah kalau macam tu.. apakata Ayu tulis je ciri² lelaki idaman hehe..

Hehehe..

Situasi 2: Camdeq & merajuk

Status YM sy siang tadi:
Sedey.. kene marah.. kene camdeq :(

Status Sentot selepas itu:
kwang kwang kwang.. ayu dah pandai guna perkataan camdeq!! Thats HUGE!!

Sambungan status sy selepas itu:
Ciss Baizurah! Ingt sy tatau gune perkataan camdeq kaaaaa

A few hours later kat YM

Bart: ayu ayu ayu
Ayu : huh
Ayu : nape Ayu smpi 3 kali
Bart: nih puan baizurah risau
Bart: awk x reply ym
Ayu : huh?
Ayu : dia tak antaq msg pun
Bart: dia tanya
Bart: awk merajuk ka?
Ayu : hahaha
Ayu : nak majuk ngan dia watpa?
Ayu : hahahaha
Bart: sebab letak camtu
Bart: kat status
Ayu : ciss
Ayu : mentang la dulu sy kuat majuk
Ayu : ingt bwk smpi skrg ka
Bart: hahahahaha
Bart: mana nak pi tau
Bart: risau
Bart: huhuhu
Bart: ayu

Thats what you get when you're still in touch with friends yg kenal the REAL you dari kecik :p

Alahaaaiii kawan² ku ini..

*Updated*

Tambahan dari Bart in my FB.. hahah, sy suke ayat Bart ni.. melambangkan tak budak Mashoor ek Bart? :p

"Eleleleh Ayu.. Awk memang dah pandai ckp Penang.. Tp idgham kena wat correction skit.. Jumpa Baizurah ngan saya.. Bleh kami bg kelas bahasa utara.. Hahaha (KELAS MAMI JARUM + MAMI TANJUNG)"

"Awak kan kawan baik sy.."

That particular statement means a lot to me. I consider it a lesson learnt. I had once used it to hide away my true feelings towards a friend, hoping I'd be able to protect my heart by saying this out loud whenever I was confused. But in the end, I hurt the both of us.. just because I wanted to prove to everyone that a boy and a girl CAN be bestfriends without being involved romantically.

I've had this 'fluttering' in my mind for the past two days. Uhhh, Fahmi nye pasal le ni.. :p

Started last night when an unexpected incident (a good distraction from what I've been feeling these past few weeks) happened haha.. Aiyooo, very malu oooo.. but provided a good laugh for me. So on the way back, a particular song was on my CD player and the joker Fahmi pakse la me dengar. Huh, tak abih² nak ngusik! Just to make him shut up, I told him how much I once hated that song (it was Shania Twain's When You Kiss Me)

Then keluar la ayat mengorek rahsia kak Ayu dia: "Kak Ayu buat pe nak sorok²! Ingt sy budak² lagi ke? Sy dah 25 laaaaa.."

So.. I told him!

But it was a very 'basic' version of it and I found myself smiling as I told him my 'summary' of it. But then again, this isn't the first time that I find myself able to talk about it without choking up or feeling sad. A few months ago, I managed to bore (haha..) Puga by telling her an almost whole version of it and I realized then, though it still is one of the most significant 'events' in my life, I can actually move on. I could even stand having Puga 'discuss' it with me, as opposed to me not really wanting to talk much about it. I mean, before this, I could talk about it, but please forget about it once I stop talking about it.

It was so different from the old me.. especially the one who received the first blow of it.

I remember how I couldn't talk for days. Couldn't even think.. and how one day I found myself knocking timidly at Yun's room. She took one look at me and handed me some papers and a pen, God bless her! She remembered! (A few months earlier I had learnt of Abah's second marriage and I told Yun about it by writing a letter to her.. right in front of her! I couldn't bear talking at that time.. and during THIS period when once again I couldn't and didn't wanna talk, she remembered HOW I prefer to let it out.. TQ Yun!)

So I wrote a long letter of my broken heart, only stopping to search for more papers for me to write in. I asked for her forgiveness, because she was the one who told me that me and him could never be ONLY bestfriends. Yes, it was her words I was trying to deny when I kept repeating those words to him, not realizing I was hurting the both of us in the process.

I was never one to talk about feelings. I usually kept them to myself but during this time, the lost of him and Abah's secret marriage was too much for me to handle and writing was the only way I could talk about it.

I refused to discuss it with anyone who asked. The most I'd do was cry, especially when Sid called me just to see if I was okay. I dunno where she heard about it, but apparantly, a lot of people knew about it but were afraid to ask me directly due to my secretive nature.

The only person who heard me talk about it was Toroque and my dear cousin was patient enough to listen to it again and again and again as I kept crying day in and day out (usually around 3am up to Subuh!).. and I guess that was because it was through the phone. So I couldn't see his sympathetic look and he won't see how stupid I look when I cry.

The first time I willingly talked about it without crying at all was with Remy during the long drive back from Pahang for Stopa's engagement. It was a long and boring drive and Remy was talking to me about his then-girlfriend, Hana (NOW his wife :) ). Then suddenly he ask me..

Maybe it was because it was boring to drive for 6 long hours, or maybe because the day was rainy and so gloomy. But I ended up telling him about IM, much to my suprise since I didn't actually know Remy that much then. I had to stop once in a while when the tears threatened to fall (I was driving then), but somehow, for the first time in my life, I felt a real big surge of relief. I never knew how relieving it was for me to talk about it.

After that, I learnt to talk haha..

Still.. I wish I had 'talked' then. Not that it would make any differance now, but it might've made a difference then. Because of those words, I DID lose my bestfriend. I thought I was doing both of us a favour but it backfired and it made me lose one of the best things that ever happened to me.

Iyer, sy percaya jodoh, sy percaya takdir. But I also believe, even if we weren't meant for each other, we could've still managed to stay friends if I wasn't so full of pride in wanting to prove my other friends wrong. If I was willing to 'talk' when he wanted to talk instead of pretending nothing was wrong and that we're cool about it.. "We're bestfriends, remember.."

AND I also believe, everything happens for a reason, no matter how painful it is. I believe I've grown up (even if I keep saying I'm sixteen haha..) and learnt an important lesson in life..

..and I've also learnt about the power of the love from everyone around me! For that, I'm thankful :)

How Could An Angel Break My Heart ~ Toni Braxton

I heard he sang a lullaby
I heard he sang it from the heart
When I found out thought I would die
Because that lullaby was mine

I heard he sealed it with a kiss
He gently kissed her cherry lips
I found that so hard to believe
Because his kiss belonged to me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didnt he catch my falling star
I wish I didnt wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

I heard her face was white as rain
Soft as a rose that blooms in May
He keeps her picture in a frame
And when he sleeps he calls her name

I wonder if she makes him smile
The way he used to smile at me
I hope she doesnt make him laugh
Because his laugh belongs to me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didnt he catch my falling star
I wish I didnt wish so hard
Maybe I wish our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

Oh my soul is dying, its crying
Im trying
to understand
Please help me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didnt he catch my falling star
I wish I didnt wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart