Uwaaaaa

Uhh.. ade sedikit perasaan keciwe! Hehehe.. adeh! Nak wat camne, takde rezeki.. rase padan muke pun ade hehehe..

A few days ago.. silap, a few weeks ago, Remy ade tanye pasal Prison Break episode yang latest. Sbnrnye, I didn't actually know if I had the latest ke tak, sbbnye, w/pun Lie dah bg episode² yang dia ade, lum tgk pun lagi huhu..

I AM a fan of Prison Break tapi tatau la nape kali ni cam liat skit nak tgk, sbb gang dah takde kot :( Tpnye, sibuk gak cari episode² baru kat sumer org and when I get it, dah content, tak tgk lagi pun takpe.. Ingt bebile leh wat marathon tgk sumer..

Anyway, aritu la, Lie amik my portable hardisk and save Prison Break 1~7 sekali ngan a few episodes of CSI (also my fav tv show!) and Criminal Mind (jugak adelah my favourite!) and Gossip Girl (tak penah tgk but Lie assured me it was interesting). Sbnrnye the portable hardisk was for my PhD nye purposes tp dah dirasmikan sbg tmpt simpan my fav tv shows hahah.. So sonok la jugak sbb ade sume citer² tu, tp tak cadang nak tgk pun lagi..

Then baper ari pastu Remy mntk citer² yg bleh ditengok sbb dia boring so instead of sending the files to him, I just left my portable hardisk kat tmpt dia and totally forgot about it..

Until a few minutes ago!

Tetibe rase boring and ingt nak start tgk Prison Break dari 1st episode. Tp bile pegi tmpt Remy, tgk² my portable hardisk dah takde. Ingt Remy bwk balik hostel ke so trus sms dia tanye where it was.

After a few minutes, Remy replied saying he thought it was Dr Ismail's so he had given it to Choong. I wasn't worried at this point sbb knowing that when Choong bukak bende alah tu n perasan ade my fav tv shows, dia mesti tau tu bukan dr Mail punye.. But still, I text him asking about it..

Then Choong called..

Cautiously he told me, "Ayu, saya dah format la bende tu!!!"

Uwaaaaaaaaaaaa..

Upenye he had called Dr Mail and somehow Dr Mail must have forgotten but he claimed that that was his. Then, Choong still feeling a bit odd told him that there were tv shows in it and nothing else and Dr Mail told him, yes, he kept tv shows in his portable hardisk too..

We had a good laugh over it.. though I felt a bit.. what do you say.. lost! Hahah..

Padan muke Ayu.. sape suh tamau tgk awal².. kan dah miss sume trus! Ngan Prison Breaknye, CSI nye, Criminal Minds nye..

Uwaaa, Lieeeee, akak nak citer² tu baliiiiiiiiiikkkkk!!!!

Padan muke Ayu!

Pengajaran: Len kali bile org bg tu, tgk cepat².. jgn dok simpan²!

Nasib²

Heheh..

Pagi tadi otw nak gi sch, singgah la kat kedai dekat ngan umah tu for my daily fix of Nescafe Latte dlm tin tu (Ohhhh, Ayu suda ketagih semuleeee!!) Then mase nak kuar kete, terperasan la 2 org budak dlm lebey kurang 7~8 tahun tengah baik je pakatnye, tunduk² sambil pilih chocolate kat kedai tu..

Somehow, something struck me as odd..

Pastu baru pasan, 2-2 budak tu pakai kain pelikat and trus senyum sorang² sbb dapat agak dah, mesti budak² ni baru dapat green light utk kuar umah pas berkhatan. Chumel je tgk memasing pakai kain pelikat sambil suke pilih chocolate :)

Tingat mase Iwan, Adi n Ikram bersunat dulu. Adeh! Me as the one and only kakak they have, terpakse menurut perintah. Temankan diorg la ape la, terpakse miss tgk tv. Dah le diorg gume my room (my room je leh muat 3 tmpt tido, bilik diorg penuh!). Uhhhh, sgt 'tersekse' mase tu, asyik "Kak Yong nak tuuuu" or "Kak Yong nak niiii" hehe.. tp jugek sangat kelakar heheh..

Ikram paling penakut, ubat ape sume tanak makan and sanggup tahan nak weewee sbb takut sakit. Gile tul, pas 3 hari dia tak tahan sgt baru dia nak gi toilet pastu bile dia weewee lame sgt, panik dia panggil Abah sbb dia takut toilet bowl penuh ngan dia punye pee hahah..

Mase diorg baru balik klinik tu, beze je 3-3 org. Iwan masuk umah ngan chatterboxnye, mcm bersuant tu bende dia wat tiap² hari. Adi plak masuk umah dengan wat brave face. Senyum tu terplaster kat muke dia tapi dia tak mo cakap ape pun. Ikram la paling bes, whimpering je panggil Mama. Then bile Abah cakap, "Nape panggil Mama je, Abah kan ade..", dia tuko plak whimpering panggil Abah hahah..

Tapi mase tu mmg dengki la. Diorg dpt byk duit.. uhhh, tak aci! Dah le terpakse jadik nurse melayan diorg, sabo je le..

Mase Iskandar nye turn plak, dia sorg je.. tp sekali ngan our neighbour, Akram. Mase diorg ni bes, sbb student USM nak buat majlis berkhatan. Malam tu diorg sumer (ade dlm 20 org kot) 'bersanding' kat Desa Bakti. Then dapat kain pelikat sorg satu ngan duit and diorg dpt makan bes.

Esoknye, diorg duk kat court Desa Bakti and org bomba datang mandikan diorg gune the fire engine.. Uhhh, kak Yong dia terase nak join sekali heheh :) Then budak² ni kene dukung sampai Pusat Kesihatan and amik giliran nak berkhatan. Akram la kesian, dia takde kakak so dia datang la pegang my hand sebab dia takut. Sembg² ngan dia tamau bg dia takut (sbbnye Iskandar cam tak takut je time ni) pastu Akram nak pujuk diri dia sendiri, dia trus comment, "Kak Yong nnt bile nak bersalin nnt laaaaagi sakit dari Akram kan?" Adeh.. ke situ plak budak ni..

Iskandar nye turn, kitorg relax je sbb dia cam tak takut. tp tetibe dengar org menjerit dalam bilik Dr.. Huhu, upenye Iskandar la paling byk drama. Abah kene pegang kaki dia sumer and dia jerit tak berenti hahahaha.. padehal Dr tak start ape pun lagi.. Ohhh Iskandar, sungguh memalukan heheh..

Senyum sensorg plak bile teringatkan diorg ni.. sekarang memasing dah beso ngan perangai memasing. Kadang² rindu gak ngan diorg yg kecik, tp nak wat camne, sumer org membesar kan..

*sigh*

Erkk.. nape Ayu tulis dalam BM ye? Hahaha..

Tattoo..

I luuuurrrvvvvvee this song ;)

oh oh oh
No matter what you say about love

I keep coming back for more

Keep my hand in the fire

Sooner or later I get what I’m asking for

No matter what you say about life

I learn every time I bleed

The truth is a stranger

Soul is in danger

I gotta let my spirit be free

To admit that I’m wrong and then change my mind

Sorry but I have to move on and leave you behind

I can’t waste time so give it a moment

I realized nothings broken

No need to worry about everything I’ve done

Live every second like it was my last one

Don’t look back got a new direction

I loved you once needed protection

You’re still a part of everything I do

You’re on my heart just like a tattoo

Just like a tattoo

I’ll always have you (I'll always have you)

Sick of playing all of these games

It’s not about taking sides

When I looked in the mirror

Didn’t deliver

It hurt enough to think that I could

Stop

Admit that I’m wrong and then change my mind

Sorry but I’ve gotta be strong and leave you behind

I can’t waste time so give it a moment

I realize nothings broken

No need to worry about everything I’ve done

Live every second like it was my last one

Don’t look back got a new direction

I loved you once needed protection

You’re still a part of everything I do

You’re on my heart just like a tattoo

Just like a tattoo

I’ll always have you (I'll always have you)

If I live every moment

Won’t change any moment

Still a part of me in you

I will never regret you

Still the memory of you

Marks everything I do, oh

I can’t waste time so give it a moment

I realize nothings broken (yeah)

No need to worry about everything I’ve done

Live every second like it was my last one

Don’t look back got a new direction (don't look back)

I loved you once needed protection (no, no)

You’re still a part of everything I do

You’re on my heart just like a tattoo

I can’t waste time so give it a moment (i can't waste time)

I realized nothings broken

No need to worry about everything I’ve done (no need to worry)

Live every second like it was my last one

Don’t look back got a new direction (don't you ever look back)

I loved you once needed protection

You’re still a part of everything I do

You’re on my heart just like a tattoo

Just like a tattoo

I’ll always have you

Hmm..

Hmm.. arini dah setahun dah upenye ye.. :(

Of Ayu

Kate Yokies: Hang ni dah jadi keras hati dah, hang tau tak?

Kate org len: Awak dah banyak berubah!

Kate sorg lagi: Awak dah mcm bukan kawan saya yang dulu!

And said another: You've changed a lot!

And yet another: I can hardly know you now.. what happened?

Kate Ayu pulak: Tak pun, mane ade saya keras hati.. mane ade saya berubah.. saya masih 'Ayu' yang same. Masih 'Ayu' yang dulu!

Tapi kate mereke lagi: Nope! You've REALLY changed!!!

Maybe..

Sekarang Ayu dah tak lagi biar orang kate ape². Klau dulu, semua sindiran diterime dengan fake smile dan muke like she doesn't get the sarcasm at all, tapi skrg, sarcastic remarks more often than not receive counter sarcasm too.. much to Ayu's amusement, and the horror of others..

Sekarang Ayu dah tak lagi nak baik² sangat dengan orang yang baru dikenali, realizing that the people you learn to care for are capable of hurting you more than anything, intentionally or not.. no longer dah any stranger is welcome into my life until they prove they are worthy (which actually means takde sape pun, since Ayu's trust pun dah agak ilang.. lucky for her, old friends kinda understand this!)

Sekarang ayat² nak bg Ayu rase bersalah tak lagi affect hidup Ayu. Klau dulu, she'd take it seriously and try to rectify the situation, but now, sape berani dgn sengajenye buat ayat² kesian supaye Ayu rase bersalah, akan buat Ayu lagi menyampah dah meluat lagi tak mau layan.. enough said!

Sekarang Ayu dah tak lagi burst into tears at anything. Eg. One day a lecturer asked her, kenape Ayu suke sgt melayan budak² ni buat macam² (eg. send cards.. old friends know, this is the real me and Memory Lane sama Hallmark would be proud of me using their cards to full use heheh..) so her simple answer was, "Takpe Dr, sekali sekale menghiburkan hati diorg ni, ape salahnye? Kite pun seronok kan?" But the lecturer, jokingly I assume, said, "Hmm, bile pulak ye ade org nak hiburkan hati kamu nanti?" W/pun hati rase sedih, tp dgn 'berlagaknye' Ayu jawab,"Takde orang nak hiburkan pun takpe.." sambil buat muke stone and trus pergi.. Uhhh, harapnye takde la bunyi cam kurang ajar kan?

Sekarang, w/pun tiap² hari tingt, tapi buat² tak heran je.. bukannye senang, tapi nak buat camne, bukannye boleh dipakse :(

Sekarang bile ade mase lapang, selalu ingat yang buruk² je, pk nak balas dendam je kat sumer org. Nasib baik pengecut, so setakat pk dalam kepale je la, nak wat tak berani hahaha..

N sekarang, dendam macam susah nak ilang compared to before. Dah jadi hypocrite, buat baik je ngan diorg tp mengelak dari nak melayan sangat atau untuk tolong ape² (except for emergencies la, kejam sgt tu klau tak tolong). Buat la hint² nak tengok wayang ke, hint² nak ajak jalan² ke ape ke, Ayu dah pandai wat bodo n tak paham and ubah topik..

Bile pk² balik.. hmm, betul la Yokies, saya dah keras hati dgn sgt negativenye! Betul kate sumer org, Ayu dah berubah.. tapi kenape berubah negatif sgt?

And frankly, for now, I don't even miss the old Ayu!