Case 1
Saw MBC on the way to school, but somehow, it didn't bring the usual smile to my face (okay, maybe it made me look twice la.. but thats it!). Not even a twitch, more like, "Oh! You again!"
Case 2
Was staring at my thesis, knowing I HAVE to show SOMETHING for my fourth chapter (Data and Analysis) to my superviser on Wednesday but was overcome with this feeling of indifferance. It seems like I've lost the feeling of, "Mati la saya, keje tak siap lagi tapi Dr nak tengok!"
Case 3
Had the radio on and heard the cue to sms so absentmindedly I sent and sms. And yes, once again I've won a CD, this time Jamie Cullum's but I didn't feel as ecstatic as I usually feel. In fact, Aldeena was more excited about it than me.. but still, I won a free CD hehe..
Blame it on the rainy weather. Blame it on the holidays. Blame it on everything! Errkk, tak baik la pulak.. but yeah, its as if I don't have any feelings today. Numb..
I mean, what the hell has come over me today?!? And I've also noticed how many entries I've posted for the past few days and this is not a good sign, thesis-wise! I don't even feel like LOOKING at my data..
This is bad..
This is very bad!!!
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Saturday, December 24, 2005
'Tis the night before Christmas!
Hehe.. some of you might wonder; what the heck is she talking about Christmas for? Well, its just that right now I'm in the school, bored to death (takde la sampai nak mati) about my thesis and playing online games while listening to my favourite station. Seems like the deejays are in the festive mood and I've been listening to loads of Christmas songs since I came (including my favourite 'Last Christmas').
Yesterday while day dreaming (as usual <-- Yun kata!! Haha..), my mind went back to a few years back when I enjoyed the childhood bliss of Christmas. Being in multiracial schools at that time, even WE were treated to visits from Santa and it would be a grand (from a childs point of view la..) event when the whole school would assemble in the hall. For those four years over there, I received multiple gifts that includes toys, colouring books, painting sets, childrens make-up kit, bags, candy and the works. Ayeen, I'm sure you remember all of this, right!
And if it wasn't enough, all of us would have our own class party with yet another visit from Santa or Santarina. With Christmas crackers and traditional Christmas putting (Haha.. still remember Brian cracking his teeth into a pice of coin inside the pudding.. at least dia dpt gak, I never got anything form the pudding!). Somehow, the teachers were conscious of us Muslims so we'd have a separate spread, just to make sure we won't miss the fun.. *sigh* childhood memories..
Anyway, I wanna share a Christmas song my brother Iwan loved to sing when we were small. Hmmm, wonder if he remembers this song??
C is for the candles trimmed around the Christmas tree
H is for the happiness with all the family
R is for the reindeers running by the window pane
I is for the icing on the cake as sweet as sugarcane
S is for the stockings, on the chimney wall
T is for the toys around the tree so tall
M is for the mistletoe, where everyone is kissed
A is for the angels who make up the Christmas list
and
S is for old Santa who makes every kids his pet
Be good and he'll bring you everything in the Christmas alphabet
Yesterday while day dreaming (as usual <-- Yun kata!! Haha..), my mind went back to a few years back when I enjoyed the childhood bliss of Christmas. Being in multiracial schools at that time, even WE were treated to visits from Santa and it would be a grand (from a childs point of view la..) event when the whole school would assemble in the hall. For those four years over there, I received multiple gifts that includes toys, colouring books, painting sets, childrens make-up kit, bags, candy and the works. Ayeen, I'm sure you remember all of this, right!
And if it wasn't enough, all of us would have our own class party with yet another visit from Santa or Santarina. With Christmas crackers and traditional Christmas putting (Haha.. still remember Brian cracking his teeth into a pice of coin inside the pudding.. at least dia dpt gak, I never got anything form the pudding!). Somehow, the teachers were conscious of us Muslims so we'd have a separate spread, just to make sure we won't miss the fun.. *sigh* childhood memories..
Anyway, I wanna share a Christmas song my brother Iwan loved to sing when we were small. Hmmm, wonder if he remembers this song??
C is for the candles trimmed around the Christmas tree
H is for the happiness with all the family
R is for the reindeers running by the window pane
I is for the icing on the cake as sweet as sugarcane
S is for the stockings, on the chimney wall
T is for the toys around the tree so tall
M is for the mistletoe, where everyone is kissed
A is for the angels who make up the Christmas list
and
S is for old Santa who makes every kids his pet
Be good and he'll bring you everything in the Christmas alphabet
Friday, December 23, 2005
Last Christmas..
Why is it that hearing one of my favourite songs on the radio seems more fun than listening to them from the cd?
A few weeks ago, Ikram, my third brother, was showing off his phone to me. Ye la, kakak dia guna Nokia 2100 ja tapi adik² semua guna phone ade camera la, MP3 la hehe.. Anyway, he had downloaded this karaoke version of the song Last Christmas and was playing it on the phone while asking me to sing this song hahah.. yup, this is one of the songs, pre-Ikram, which he knows..
Back home (read: umah sewa), I went through my CDs and yuppie! I found my Wham! cd.. yeah, back when George Micheal was still in this duo, and when I didn't know he was gay. Popping the disc in the player, I keep repeating this song as it DOES coincide with the festive season, though its not a real Christmas song anyway.
Yesterday, while doing my work, with the radio on, as usual, this song came on air and before long I was singing along with this song. Somehow, it sounds more fun on the radio and though the azan was being announced outside, rasa sayang nak tutup radio, padahal cd dia ade je dalam keter (Haaaa, ngaku pun buat dosa semalam!). Naudzubillah..
And as expected, my drive home was filled with this song played repeatedly.
Anyway, I first heard this song when I was 5 or 6 (thats why I call it pre-Ikram!) and I could vaguely picture the videoclip and can only remember lots of snow and a fireplace.. obviously la kan! Back here, when I was 17 (I think) I went to Popular with my family for some school supplies. While waiting for Iwan, Adi, Ikram and Izati (saje je nak senarai bg nampak banyak hehe..), I went into CDrama and wonders of wonders, I found this CD. I practically begged Abah (without much hope pun masa tu, knowing how Abah is) for the CD while he kept reminding me of whats more important (our stationery and stuff) so I sadly put the CD back on the rack.
But I guess, behind that Abah I know, there sometimes comes this part of him that suprises us. Back home, he handed me the CD and I whoopped with joy, instantly played it on the CD player and sang along with the family (except Ikram, Izati and Iskandar la who didn't have the slightest idea why we were singing 'old' 80s songs!)
Untuk Nomi: Tul cakap Nomi, klau la pandai godek² internet, cari coding, dah lama buh lagu ni kat blog :-p~
Artist: wham!
Song: Last Christmas Lyrics
Chorus:
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day,
You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day,
You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye
Tell me baby do you recognise me?
Well it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me
(Happy Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I Love You" I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again
Chorus (Oooh. Oooh Baby)
A crowded room, friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice
My God I thought you were someone to rely on
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man undercover but you tore me apart
Oooh Oooh Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again
Chorus
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
(Gave you my heart)
A man undercover but you tore me apart
Next year I'll give it to someone,
I'll give it to someone special
special
someone
someone
I'll give it to someone,
I'll give it to someone special
who'll give me something in return
I'll give it to someone
hold my heart and watch it burn
I'll give it to someone,
I'll give it to someone special
I've got you here to stay
I can love you for a day
I thought you were someone special
gave you my heart
I'll give it to someone,
I'll give it to someone
last christmas I gave you my heart
you gave it away
I'll give it to someone,
I'll give it to someone
A few weeks ago, Ikram, my third brother, was showing off his phone to me. Ye la, kakak dia guna Nokia 2100 ja tapi adik² semua guna phone ade camera la, MP3 la hehe.. Anyway, he had downloaded this karaoke version of the song Last Christmas and was playing it on the phone while asking me to sing this song hahah.. yup, this is one of the songs, pre-Ikram, which he knows..
Back home (read: umah sewa), I went through my CDs and yuppie! I found my Wham! cd.. yeah, back when George Micheal was still in this duo, and when I didn't know he was gay. Popping the disc in the player, I keep repeating this song as it DOES coincide with the festive season, though its not a real Christmas song anyway.
Yesterday, while doing my work, with the radio on, as usual, this song came on air and before long I was singing along with this song. Somehow, it sounds more fun on the radio and though the azan was being announced outside, rasa sayang nak tutup radio, padahal cd dia ade je dalam keter (Haaaa, ngaku pun buat dosa semalam!). Naudzubillah..
And as expected, my drive home was filled with this song played repeatedly.
Anyway, I first heard this song when I was 5 or 6 (thats why I call it pre-Ikram!) and I could vaguely picture the videoclip and can only remember lots of snow and a fireplace.. obviously la kan! Back here, when I was 17 (I think) I went to Popular with my family for some school supplies. While waiting for Iwan, Adi, Ikram and Izati (saje je nak senarai bg nampak banyak hehe..), I went into CDrama and wonders of wonders, I found this CD. I practically begged Abah (without much hope pun masa tu, knowing how Abah is) for the CD while he kept reminding me of whats more important (our stationery and stuff) so I sadly put the CD back on the rack.
But I guess, behind that Abah I know, there sometimes comes this part of him that suprises us. Back home, he handed me the CD and I whoopped with joy, instantly played it on the CD player and sang along with the family (except Ikram, Izati and Iskandar la who didn't have the slightest idea why we were singing 'old' 80s songs!)
Untuk Nomi: Tul cakap Nomi, klau la pandai godek² internet, cari coding, dah lama buh lagu ni kat blog :-p~
Artist: wham!
Song: Last Christmas Lyrics
Chorus:
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day,
You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day,
You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye
Tell me baby do you recognise me?
Well it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me
(Happy Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I Love You" I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again
Chorus (Oooh. Oooh Baby)
A crowded room, friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice
My God I thought you were someone to rely on
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man undercover but you tore me apart
Oooh Oooh Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again
Chorus
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
(Gave you my heart)
A man undercover but you tore me apart
Next year I'll give it to someone,
I'll give it to someone special
special
someone
someone
I'll give it to someone,
I'll give it to someone special
who'll give me something in return
I'll give it to someone
hold my heart and watch it burn
I'll give it to someone,
I'll give it to someone special
I've got you here to stay
I can love you for a day
I thought you were someone special
gave you my heart
I'll give it to someone,
I'll give it to someone
last christmas I gave you my heart
you gave it away
I'll give it to someone,
I'll give it to someone
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Masters Disaster Pt 3
PANIC ALERT!!!! PANIC ATTACK!!!
Help!
Really..
I need help!
Its been a few days and I haven't done anything for my thesis. I've come to the point of having a strong urge of throwing up whenever I think of my dissertation. I feel sick to the pit of my stomach whenever I see the School of Civil Engineering looming in front of my face every morning as I drive through the campus and I hate waking up in the morning.. knowing that I have this 'writing up' to tend to!
Yesterday was the worst. I came to the point of gasping for breath as I sat in front of the pc. My hand were shaking I was overcome by this iresistable feeling of wanting to cry and scream at the same time.. God, I've never felt this way before!
Even the thought of MBC didn't help. In fact, today I feel sick of him too! Too much bumping into him these past few days have made me wonder: What was I thinking? I guess this ends my short term crush for now..
Today, I still feel shaky.. but as Erwan and Keon told me to take it easy, I've made up my mind NOT to even peek at my thesis for today and to tell you the truth, I'm starting to feel a bit calm.. a bit je la..
But in the meantime..
Inhale..
Exhale..
Inhale..
Exhale..
Help!
Really..
I need help!
Its been a few days and I haven't done anything for my thesis. I've come to the point of having a strong urge of throwing up whenever I think of my dissertation. I feel sick to the pit of my stomach whenever I see the School of Civil Engineering looming in front of my face every morning as I drive through the campus and I hate waking up in the morning.. knowing that I have this 'writing up' to tend to!
Yesterday was the worst. I came to the point of gasping for breath as I sat in front of the pc. My hand were shaking I was overcome by this iresistable feeling of wanting to cry and scream at the same time.. God, I've never felt this way before!
Even the thought of MBC didn't help. In fact, today I feel sick of him too! Too much bumping into him these past few days have made me wonder: What was I thinking? I guess this ends my short term crush for now..
Today, I still feel shaky.. but as Erwan and Keon told me to take it easy, I've made up my mind NOT to even peek at my thesis for today and to tell you the truth, I'm starting to feel a bit calm.. a bit je la..
But in the meantime..
Inhale..
Exhale..
Inhale..
Exhale..
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Because of you
I've been making frequent visits to Ayeen's blog, just to hear this song hehe.. First heard it on the air and I was instantly attracted to the little bits of the lyrics I heard (ye la, apart from the knowledge this song was sung by the most successful IDOL yet), though I didn't really understand the song much since I didn't hear the whole song..
And now that I get the chance to listen it, courtesy of Ayeen, I'm starting to like it.. Meaningful because sebenarnya its true for a lot of people kan, tak kisah la they want to admit it or not.. Ape pun, tak baik salahkan orang, dak? It doesn't matter if it's lessons learnt from your friends ke, parents ke or the people around you. But still..
Ayeen, thats why I've been ranting about how hard it is to go to your blog pun.. (tp your archives kak Yong tak leh bukak la, yang!).. I can only hear it on my colleague's pc, on mine, ampeh tak leh baca your blog, what more to listen to the song :-P~
Ayeen, thats why I've been ranting about how hard it is to go to your blog pun.. (tp your archives kak Yong tak leh bukak la, yang!).. I can only hear it on my colleague's pc, on mine, ampeh tak leh baca your blog, what more to listen to the song :-P~
.
.
P/S For Ayeen, kene bayo royalti ke sbb 'curi' this form you? ;-P
Because of You by Kelly Clarkson
.
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
.
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
.
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
.
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
.
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
.
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
.
Because of you
Because of you
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